| My Own Help
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:10:56 PM | Demo dude,
You need to fix up that profile of yours first. In order for us to help you do this you need to read our comments and listen to our advice. We are willing to rewrite the profile for you in your own words and hopefully personality and all you have to do is take it and replace yours with ours. That is the only way you are going to get responses back from your matches. Capiche? Would you like us to do that for you?
In the meantime Demo I have taken the liberty of doing a google search on Autism Dating and Special Needs Dating and came up with these four gems. I think you'd have much more luck in those arenas as here the amount of special needs folk are fairly slim and I think you'll have a difficult time attracting a non-special needs person from this site due to the sheer competition. And whether or not you mention your condition in your profile really makes no difference; without it people will think something is wrong and pass you by likely and with it they will likely do the same based on the difficulties autism brings to a person's life. These sites may give you more of a chance of being heard and understood that this site probably cannot offer you. It's really unfortunate but that is the reality of the beast. Let us know what you decide big guy.
http://prescription4love.com/
http://www.disableddatingclub.com/
http://www.disabled.love-match.net/
http://nolongerlonely.com/ | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:44:01 PM | WE did that once and sites like eharmony and OK Cupid don't have the right to ask if we have autism.
There was AC date but that had to be taken down. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:47:21 PM | http://prescription4love.com/
http://www.disableddatingclub.com/
http://www.disabled.love-match.net/
http://nolongerlonely.com/
^^^ None of those listed is eHarmony or OK Cupid. They are *totally different* sites. Maybe you shoould check them out. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:18:37 PM | I agree... The Deuceman Cometh went above and beyond to help in your situation Demolition, with these sites being far more in your ball park. They could be just what you need. Talk to your family and let them do some checking for you.
Great suggestions... I hope you take some time and look into them.
Good luck | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:27:38 PM | I'm with Suepirnova, Demolition Man. EHarmony, Match, Lavalife, and the likes are not suited for people with developmental hindrances. It's a harsh reality but a reality nonetheless. The last one of that list, nolongerlonely.com, actually had an option for autism/spectrum folk. I think these are worth a look-see for you, as I don't think this place will do you any good, in terms of dating or self-esteem and/or confidence. It's really unfortunate but as I said it's the honest truth.
Who's we, by the way? | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:26:05 PM | Man, I love you guys!
Demo-man...look around....you have made some friends.
Trust them and go forth!!
Godspeed and good luck! | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:29:09 PM | Perscription love I can't set up on. This is so tricky. I think that those sites are pay sites and I am more into free sites.
I think that there should be a disabilities forum on this site. That could help me with meeting girls on this site. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:51:37 PM | You could start a thread in Dating about the difficulties of dating with a disability, but make sure and do a search first. I'm sure there are a few out there that might be related. Get involved in those threads. As I said before there are probably very few people with disabilities on this site.
And honestly, you may need to bite the bullet and pay for a site. I haven't looked into them but I will when I get the chance. Have you considered attending some local POF events? Get involved with a social/singles club in your area as well. They go out and do all sorts of fun activities... usually. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:29:50 PM | I was suggesting a get together of this site on Long Beach Island. This would be more in the summer time when LBI is more populated.
The thing about pay sites is that there's a great risk of being ripped off. I lost trust in them.
I have for 2 years tried true.com. I suggested to true.com and autism center to help and I used the coach on that site. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:48:29 PM |
"I am going to have my family help me with my profile making changes.
Okay OP, send me a note to let me know when that family member will be here, and I will do my best to help you.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:28:39 PM | I don't think that it's my profile where I am getting so rare the responses. I think that it's the girls figure my special needs out. I feel hopeless.
I shouldn't let that stop me. The problem with an autism forum is that people lie and if they lie they should if caught be flagged.
I don't put my condition on my profile. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:58:49 PM | | I will e-mail some girls tonight that I added to favorites. I hope that this will help. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:57:23 PM | Good luck brother. Just so you know, we're all here because we want to help. Just let us know what you need, K?
- T | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/11/2008 6:29:15 PM | I just posted a thread suggesting a get together on Long Beach Island in New Jersey. This is for those in New Jersey that live in Central Jersey or even South Jersey.
I will e-mail more girls later this week. I'll let you helpers of mine know if I do or don't get a response back. I feel hopeless. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/11/2008 8:14:09 PM |  Here's a little angel for your shoulder until the hopeless feelings go away (and they will!)
Muah! | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 2:40:53 PM | Don't feel hopeless, Demolition. You have lots of people who want to help you with your online dating, and have gotten some very good advice from the people on this thread.
Try the sites that Deuce suggested. There is no reason you can not keep a profile up on PoF while you are trying one of the dating sites that Deuce found for you. If your problem with trying one of the other sites is that you have lost trust in paid sites, then have your family help you do some real research and find the most trustworthy site among those.
Here is some information on the sites that Deuce suggested:
www.prescription4love.com
I looked at the "Subscribe" section, and it is listed that this site is currently free. However, in the registration field, it mentions that name and address is filled out for billing information. I tried to find any paid membership information and there is none available, at least when viewing the site as a guest, but since it mentions billing, be careful with this site.
www.disabled.love-match.net
It is free to register there, but it is a paid site. With your family, check what kind of rates they have and how it works; I can't find out more about the charges until the registration page is filled out, so be careful with this site.
This site offers a free trial membership, Demolition, so it may be a good idea to try that. Remember to be careful with joining from there, but if you are careful, you have nothing to lose by joining for a trial membership.
As well, all of the profiles and pictures on this site must be approved, and it also says there is a screening process. But to read carefully, the approval process is not much more than checking that it is a valid email account and an approval of the profile and pictures. So again, be very careful, and look into it well with before deciding to register for a paid membership with the site.
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Good luck Demolition. As Sonic said, tell everybody on the thread what you need for help and everyone will do what they can to help you. And take another look at the rewrite of your profile that was done for you on the first page. That is a great profile, and you got some great advice in it; it would be a very good idea to use that profile. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:41:52 PM | | If your not getting responses, their not interested. Forget it and move on. Don't just keep badgering the same person. I've had one woman that just doesn't accept no. With every e-mail/instant message, she looses favor with me. It's become annoying. Don't badger them, just move on to the next one and forget it. Just because you made them a favorite, doesn't mean your a favorite to them or that their even interested at all. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:44:33 PM | there's a free site here i found
http://www.aspiefriends.aspiesforfreedom.com/
This is a friendship and dating service for anyone with autism, aspergers, anyone on the autistic spectrum, and for people with an interest in dating someone on the spectrum. It is an entirely free service.
We now have over a thousand members! | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:22:47 PM | That looks like a great site browolf. I tried to get more info., but it does seem to be totally free to join.
Demolition, please check out the site link that browolf has provided for you as well. If you have questions, have your family check the site out for you or post back here.
Best of luck : ) | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:35:16 PM | I am registered for that site. I am having logging in problems on that site. I need help in making girls interested in me.
Maybe I don't match them and that's why not interested in me. This site above I can't get logged into and even chatting on that site or post anymore on the forums. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:43:55 PM | Demo, I checked the site out. I didn't have the registration information needed to join. You have that. Make sure you take your time and fill out all of the sections properly, write down your password somewhere private and try to register and join again. It might not be the site's problem; you may have lost some of your information that you need to log on or post there.
You can get a girl interested in you if you stick with it and make sure you keep trying the right sites. Ask your family for help.
Keep on trying... | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:49:53 PM | I feel ruined as so many girls aren't interested in me. I am also using help in finding a girlfriend. They should do a messages review forum.
I am looking into adding another photo to my profile. That site doesn't give specific information. They should have put in profiles photos and stuff to write about ourselves along with race, hair color, smoking habits, drinking habits, religion and etc as do match making sites. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:59:45 PM | | Don't be so down on yourself demo... Maybe your looking in the wrong place. I don't have a lot of luck on here as most people don't. I've had ladies in real life to die for. Don't let it get you down just because their not into you here. Why don't you try mys pace. set up a profile, add some friends and get to know them. You may have more luck with that and it's free. It's hard for people to really get a feel of who you are in a few sentences. Good Luck and don't get so discouraged | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:03:20 PM | Some sites won't do this; it's up to you to keep trying to find things out.
You're not ruined, you're having a difficult time that's it. Maybe you could make a few friends on the site if nothing else. Then you could talk to them and see if they are having similar problems as well. You may accidently find a girlfriend that way.
Please give that site another chance; keep an open mind to the possibilities. | |
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| My Own Help
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:18:06 PM | Demodude, you need to have patience and faith. Don't get anxious. Anxiety breeds desperation. Women smell desperation on a man like a shark smells blood 6 miles out to sea. Desperation looks really bad on a guy. So relax, take your time; there's no rush to finding love. When you aren't looking is when you are more than likely to find it usually. When you force it is when bad things happen.
Browolf and I were just talking about message reviews today and how this forum should be opened to review any part of the approach; profile, photos, messages, etc. We've reviewed many a person's contact messages in these threads and this IS your thread Demo so by all means if you want help with a contact message or two let us know. I'm pretty sure we gave you some pointers in the other thread but we'd be happy to do it again here for you. Why don't you copy a message or two that you've sent out to women into this thread and let us look at it and see where you may have gone wrong and where we can improve it using your own words. Sound good? SWELL!
In the meantime check out those sites and see what they have to offer. Honestly they are smaller sites so if you had to pay the fees for a month on one to try and find someone it'd be worth a shot. If you have no luck at one I'd move on to the next one the following month. These sites will have small numbers of women in your area obviously so it won't take long to beat down the doors of every woman within 100 miles.
Chin up big guy. Being single isn't all that bad. But I agree finding love is so much more rewarding. | |
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