| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 5:40:37 PM |
Exactly. If you hem and haw, and lose your chance, don't come whining to me.
Hey, don't blame men. Blame all the women out there who run away when a guy is honest and upfront about being interested in her. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 5:54:44 PM | "Let me know if you want me or I'll assume you don't and move on."
You should never assume anything.
Tis bad. Could have missed out on something great.
Like a 1968 Charger R/T 440.
What the hell am I going on about? | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 5:59:46 PM | Crayonzz..... That is totally over the top.
Geez... only saying.. if he isn't interested enough to maintain some level of contact.. then.. any interest that might have been is gone.
If you take a pleasant "how are you doing" kind of email to the police..you believe they will drop everything and come after you??? Crayonzz...you need help for that paranoid delusion!
We all know the difference between sending an email and waiting for a reply...and ... stalking. And so do you.
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We most certainly do not ALLLL know the difference Upstate girl.
And you can certainly do better than personal attacks.
Firstly the police HAVE to investigate ALL formal complaints. And, while most of them never even make it to court, they make life very unpleasant for the accused. Secondly the police are not the only authourities that are emppowered to investigate these complaints.
The most disgusting example I know of is Princeton University. A girl, wearing a short skirt, wandered past a guy enjoying lunch on one of the lawns. "nice legs" was all he said. The girl complained to the deans office about a "nini rape" and the guy was kicked off campus all hopes dreams and carreer prospects in tatters.
"Mini Rape"! And you have the nerve to call me the paronoid one! | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:16:37 PM | The problem is that the men who were actually being offensive and abusive didn't respect women in the first place so they never heard the message. Who heard that these behaviors weren't right any more? The men who did respect women and the women themselves.
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Very much so Zeotide
And you can see the results in the Broken Hearts froum all the time.
If you think of yourself as “the catch” and, following the girlfriends advice, wait around for somebody to “snare you” then the only kind of man you will get will be the predator.
Good men will not chase you because good men don’t need to chase anything . The world beats a path to their door.
The predator will suck the life out of you, eat you up, spit out your bones, and discard you. That’s what predators do, despite all the howling of the girls in the Broken Hearts.
You want a good man? Beat a path to his door and treat him like a good man. You want to be “the catch” ? Expect to be snared only by a predator. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:41:45 PM | " Good men will not chase you because good men don’t need to chase anything . The world beats a path to their door. "
Wow- look at all the women outside!
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:45:34 PM | There are just as many crazy women as there are crazy men, which is good, they can pair up and leave me alone.
This is why I support gay rights. Why give myself more competition?
As I keep saying, don't just tell us what you want. Tell us what actually WORKS and we'll do it. I have learned that "want" and "works" are 2 separate far away things. Be honest, and reward behavior that you want. Otherwise, you'll only end up with guys who know what works, and guys who tried what women want and are still single asking "WTF do you want from me??" | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:18:14 PM |
If you think of yourself as “the catch” and, following the girlfriends advice, wait around for somebody to “snare you” then the only kind of man you will get will be the predator.
Good men will not chase you because good men don’t need to chase anything . The world beats a path to their door.
The predator will suck the life out of you, eat you up, spit out your bones, and discard you. That’s what predators do, despite all the howling of the girls in the Broken Hearts.
You want a good man? Beat a path to his door and treat him like a good man. You want to be “the catch” ? Expect to be snared only by a predator.
Great post! I agree 100%. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:20:14 PM |
It isn't that modern men don't KNOW how to pursue. It's that they CHOOSE not to pursue because of the risk of a jail sentence.
Puh-leeze! You ask for her phone number, she gives it to you. You call a week or two later, she is no longer interested. Calling her the next day is going to get you a rape charge??????
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:40:45 PM | No Woodby!
Thats YOU talking. It's not the loony women, nor the lunatic laws which support them | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:48:49 PM | Canadianbeef (#8 message) your response was amazing. A glimpse inside a normal guy's mind for us girls who can't figure out what's going on.
I kinda have figured out already some of what you said about how guys relate. The guys I'm attracted to do 2 things: first they show interest, then after that they hold back. You can see & feel their interest, but they are cool about it & encourage you to come to them. What you're doing works. At least in my world.
Because of that, I've learned to rely on my gut feeling about if a guy likes me or not & not pay a lot of attention to what he DOES. If I think he really likes me, I might make a move or something that I wouldn't usually because I think he likes me. It's the only way I've figured out to relate to guys that react like you do - which I find very sexy.
I like guys who are interested but don't gush. That's a turnoff. It's a balance...
The garbageman, your comments are good too. I really feel for you guys b/c with women's lib & all, oh wait, now I believe it's called feminism, or at least was before it became guy-bashing, I can't even imagine how a guy would know what to do anymore. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:07:37 PM |
Staying single these days is wise. Cuz I don't plan on giving up half of eveything I worked so hard for in my 28 years!!
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:04:18 PM | The whole point of male female relations, is that the opposite gender should be complimentary, not a clone of you. If you want someone who is just like you, then perhaps it might be time to look at those control issues. If you want to be with someone who thinks like you do, acts like you do, then I may suggest homosexuality.
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No truer words have been spoken. But this does work in both directions. Its not just we guys who needs to understand the two sexes are different. Let women be women and men be men and quit trying to make them be more like your own sex and act and react the same way that you would. Most of us men don't understand the way you ladies think and yall obviously don't really understand us.... | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:08:10 PM | Well, alright, after reading the majority of this very intriguing thread I have formed an opinion which I had after reading the first post. But I've also realized that I don't really pay attention to the times, nor am I really into dating these days AT ALL! 
Guys are supposed to be afraid of being a stalker if they make contact the next day? If I did ever happen to meet someone who I didn't know before hand, and happened to get somekind of contact information, I'd be all over contacting them the next day. Like white on rice, or stink on a monkey sorta deal. I'd see no reason not too. I'd be obviously interested to ask for a number, or talk to someone long enough to have one given to me, and they'd obviously be interested enough to give it to me. Personally, it seems absurd, if interested not to.
Now, if it's an email of someone I'm not really interested in beyond platonic friendship, I may delay my reply, not to be rude or anything. But moreso as I don't always have anything to reply with or want to make time to reply at that time. Same goes with chatting now a days, I have a few people on my list that I want to talk to, but other than that, I don't want to make time to talk to others. Not to be rude, just the way it has been going lately. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:21:23 PM | The role of women is to make "pursuit" feel like something a guy would naturally do. Many women have a way, in person, of making it feel awkward for you not to speak to her without even talking themselves.
For guys, at least me, if you feel off-balance early on in an interaction then it's probably time to give it up. I think most guys know what it feels like when a woman is welcoming to what he's bringing. If it feels funny there's usually nothing to be gained by taking it further. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:40:01 AM |
If someone specifically asks for your number, then takes their time to call... it implies controlling behavior.
"I want your number, when I want it, and I will call when I feel like it or can find the time in my busy schedule to give you a second thought."
Why would I bother with someone who says this by their actions?
That is how you interpret it. However, they could have other reasons for taking several days to get in touch. It seems like a relatively negligible issue to worry about. It's happened to me with women in the past, and it doesn't bother me as long as we wind up getting a chance to meet up and have some fun at some point. Control has never come into it for me. I just look at it as two people trying to get to know one another. When that happens in relation to when a phone number was given or received doesn't seem like a major issue to me unless an absurd amount of time has passed. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:14:36 AM |
The whole point of male female relations, is that the opposite gender should be complimentary, not a clone of you. If you want someone who is just like you, then perhaps it might be time to look at those control issues. If you want to be with someone who thinks like you do, acts like you do, then I may suggest homosexuality.
No falser words were ever spoken.
1) If you don't have much in common with the opposite gender, your relationship will fail. It's a matter of time. Major differences on fundamental issues spell D I S A S T E R.
2) If you want someone who is "just" like you, meaning, identical in every detail, then you want what does not exist, plain and simple. I don't know anyone who wants that.
3) If you want someone who thinks like you and acts like you and you are hetero, then homosexuality will not work. Duh!
I can think of much better uses of my time than getting in a relationship where I have little in common with a woman b/c we're "complimentary". That's a one-way ticket to a lifetime of loneliness or the wonderful world of divorce court. No thanks. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:27:32 AM | Now as for pursuing, I'd have to say that most men don't bother anymore. The threat of lawsuits -- however distant -- perpetually hangs in the air. Women have closed off the workplace to romance, and most men spend 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week in that place. When it comes to dating, the odds were never in favor of the average guy anyways, and now he has this whole minefield of political correctness, feminism, and an ever-changing set of rules to navigate through.
You complain that men don't pursue? How about making it a little easier on us?
American women, generally, have a huge sense of entitlement. Men are objects which they can fit into a slot alongside baby and career, just another thing they can brag about/complain about to their friends. As a result, they have honed to a razor-sharp edge every tool in the toolbox to dissuade men from paying attention to them. From the dismissive glance to the profanity-riddled tirade, to the "chase me because I'm oh-so worth it" attitude, you name it. Every time a guy talks to a woman, he has to psyche himself up for it, preparing for the attack which usually comes.
You complain that men don't pursue? How about giving them something to pursue? | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:29:22 AM | crayonzz...
I want you to try an experiment... with my permission
take these messages I have sent to you via this forum to the police. tell them you are concerned based on these messages.
you will be told... there isn't any reason for them to be involved.
exactly what anyone would be told if friendly messages are exchanged (NOTICE THE WORD EXCHANGED) between two people.
Responding back to a message in a timely fashion isn't stalking...and you know it.
It is exactly what I said the last message... If you don't RESPOND to a message then I lose interest.
So.. let's try this experiment...since you think any exchange of messages is cause for police involvement... I want you to prove it. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:56:21 AM | "If you think of yourself as “the catch” and, following the girlfriends advice, wait around for somebody to “snare you” then the only kind of man you will get will be the predator.
Good men will not chase you because good men don’t need to chase anything . The world beats a path to their door.
The predator will suck the life out of you, eat you up, spit out your bones, and discard you. That’s what predators do, despite all the howling of the girls in the Broken Hearts.
You want a good man? Beat a path to his door and treat him like a good man. You want to be “the catch” ? Expect to be snared only by a predator."
lol... it seems the advice you're giving is contradictory.
On one hand you say to a woman not to be the victim of a predator and in the same breath advocating a male to be the victim of a female predator.
A Good Man will not chase a woman? And so using your logic why would a Good Woman chase a man?
Ridiculous example. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:17:35 AM | I know a guy am sure he knows am interested i have gave him signs without being to obvious as i see him almost every day, we chat for hours, signs are there where am i going wrong:  | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:27:14 AM |
signs are there where am i going wrong:
Simple -- you're so concerned about "giving signs" that you aren't even thinking about actually communicating your interest. Signs are stupid. If you're interested, just say so. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:29:31 AM |
That particular skill in 2008 is about as useful as being the best atari pac-man player.
Hmm, I thought Pac-Man was made by Namco. The Atari 2600 version of Pac-Man was pretty lousy, as I recall.
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:40:26 AM | Great stuff!
Most men don't realize that with the exception of these predators,( and that's
a really, really good analogy), in the field of romance, women have a nuclear
arsenal and men mostly have BB gun, if that! lol
I've read that women control 90 % of relationships, 90 % of the time! From my observations, that sounds about right!
All of this argument about pursuit is somewhat a mute point. A woman, especially an attractive woman ALWAYS gets what she wants! And EVERYTHING hinges on what
she wants and whom she fancies! Everything else is really a discussion about men approaching women that have NO INTEREST in them! EDIT There are those confusing cases however, where a woman may like a man and feel attracted to him, and send out such vibes, but has no interest in having a relationship for any number of reasons. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:52:28 AM |
I can't read minds. I think that statement there is key. What each woman prefers will be different. In order to make rules about dating, it would need to be accepted by everyone, and then there only needs to be 1 rulebook that everyone follows. As it is, there's tons of books out there about how to find a mate.
Also, for the guys that think they have to jump through hoops to get a girl to respond...has anyone stopped to think that if you just do what YOU want to do, then you might find someone that actually matches you instead of chasing after someone who is not a match anyway? If you want to wait a week to call, then the woman that fits best with you is going to prefer that you wait a week to call. Likewise, if you call 5 times a day, then your perfect match is going to like that. | |
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| Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:03:49 AM | Yes, I do know what it means to pursue a woman. But I have to point out that I am not nineteen years old, and OP, neither are you.
The unstated assumption behind this thread is that it's somehow a given that the courtship behaviors we had and employed as 20-somethings somehow remain unchanged into our forties and beyond. That's naive.
OP writes:
Men, do you know what it is to pursue a woman?
Yes, I do but what's your point? There was a similar thread here a couple of weeks past, and the originating poster lamented the fact that her enticement/rejection interactions (she called it push-pull) with men no longer seemed to work, at least not in the Seattle area. But what wasn't pointed out to her was that she was using tools that were better suited to a girl 20 years younger. It's the same here: the "enthusiastic" male pursuit strategies the OP is pining for are largely within the purview of twenty-year-olds. The older dating pool, men in their late 30's and beyond, have their attentions far more divided by the rest of their lives~~ and that makes that old boyish enthusiasm towards a woman come out more like an understated yet sincere interest~~an interest that unfortunately some women just don't pick up on. | |
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