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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 3:44:21 PM | | hence the pickiness, men always after sex, women select the ones they want, confidence being the main factor, ppl who are shy get left out, as in my case, kind of sad really-makes you feel like a faulty product that no one wants | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 5:48:21 PM | | WOW!, i love hokey is a real woman, the world needs more women with your attitude :) | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 5:56:52 PM | | So i assume tango-shoes is a whore, since shes such a sex goddess at 18.... we don't want your aids hooch. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 6:59:13 PM | | I've done it and at the time we had our first experience together, I hadn't been with anyone in a REALLY long time... not to mention that previous experiences didn't leave me thinking I was missing anything. Needless to say it was awkward and not really enjoyable the first time. Through time and learning about each other and trusting/feeling safe with each other we were able to explore, figure each other out and he came to be the best lover I'd ever had... now I miss it dammit! | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:22:16 PM | “because it's easy enough for a woman to find sex if that's what she wants...doesn't mean it's easy to find a partner she has a suitable interest in”
That had occurred to me: inability to find a ‘suitable’ male vs inability to find sex. I can see that.
Having said that, I have known a few women, including a couple of university students, who claimed to be involuntarily celibate but were just inexperienced in life and did not realise the tremendous sexual power that they held. Once they found out how easy it was, they were off like a rocket.
What used to happen in the 1950s, when almost everyone got married, or so we are told? The vast majority of women must have settled for second-best. Actually, that does explain a lot. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 9:05:32 PM | | thing is ppl keep saying how picky women are and that they choose "the most attractive minority of men" and thats comple b/s....in fact i find it the opposite...there are some ugly doosh-bag f ucking guys with doosh-bag personalities who have some damn fine women on their arms....if youre a crude jerkoff who treats women like snot and diariah vommited out of a buffalos****and are uglier than jfk..then you will get women galoure. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 10:30:30 PM | I'm still a virgin well into my forties, so this topic is particularly poignant to me.
I'm not saving myself; I've just always been a bit introverted and not very skilled socially. But I've deeply want to experience intimacy all my life; I just don't seem to be able to find a partner. I'm not deformed or antisocial; I'm tall, slim, and, I think I'm at least decent-looking. And I think I have some very good qualities to offer. It's been very frustrating for me all these years.
I've changed quite a lot in the past few years, I've become much less shy and even a bit extroverted in some ways. And now I'm openly promoting myself as an adult virgin.
But I've been surprised at the response; I'd have thought many women would like the idea of having a clean, untouched virgin man, but that doesn't seem to be the case. A lot of people have told me I should just withhold the fact of my virginity, but I really want to be honest about it; I want my first partner to know and understand.
So, ladies, let me ask, don't you find anything appealing at all about the idea of having a man who'd never been had by any other woman? A fresh, new guy you could mold to your own preferences?
Or does experience in a man really make that much difference?
Am I making a mistake by being so open about my inexperience? | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 10:39:30 PM |
Am I making a mistake by being so open about my inexperience?
Why would being honest constitute a mistake? You're here and you're trying. Just relax and you should be fine. But do get a picture on your profile; women want to see who you are. You should also go over to the Profile Review forum and get some help there.
Above all be yourself. You can't be anyone else. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:32:30 PM | Originally posted by Vinny Low
thing is ppl keep saying how picky women are and that they choose "the most attractive minority of men" and thats comple b/s....in fact i find it the opposite...there are some ugly doosh-bag f ucking guys with doosh-bag personalities who have some damn fine women on their arms....if youre a crude jerkoff who treats women like snot and diariah vommited out of a buffalos****and are uglier than jfk..then you will get women galoure.
Well once you bite into this observation, you're getting into the whole "women only date jerks while us nice guys finish last" argument. Which when ran, torn apart, and ten put back together and consolidated in the interest of saving time and space looks like this:
Men date men with confidence.
Jerks have bad attitudes, but they also have buckets of confidence.
Jerks usually don't show their bad side until a good bit of time into the relationship.
And as a direct result, you see a lot of women dating horrible men.
As for the supposed "nice guys"...
"Nice guys" always complain and moan that women are always dating jerks, not them.
This shows a lack of confidence, which is horribly unappealing.
Also, by saying "women only date jerks, not us nice guys", a guy is essentially blaming his inability of attracting the opposite sex on women...which when you get right down to it, isn't nice at all.
This subject has been discussed to death over many different threads at a different board I'm a member of. It's good to have an idea of how the social schematics work here, because on the outside it really does look screwy. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:39:25 PM | Hmmm. Well, I've personally deflowered three male virgins. (one of whom I think was lying, so maybe just two.) The first one was the one I lost my virginity to. Our first time should have been filmed and sent to America's Funniest Home Videos  In my experience, a lot of guys who are "older" virgins are just looking for a "practice girl" to take their virginity and give them some experience. Just my experiences, though, I can't say that about all guys. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:42:39 PM |
Well, I've personally deflowered three male virgins.
I've personally deflowered one male virgin (me, stop thinking like that) and one female virgin. The acts were simultaneous of course ;) All those books I read sure came in handy. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:24:45 AM | I'm not so much the shy sort, that's a little bit of it with me, but I'm mainly just really picky. Was probably 11 the first time I kissed someone, came close to having sex with a gf at 18, but never went all the way and haven't dated much since. I've had offers both in real life and on here, and keep turning them down. Not a religious thing at all, just mainly because the girls who tend to want to have sex with me, despite often times being very physically hot, are also very emotionally cold. I'm not waiting for the girl of my dreams, just someone who won't be off to the next guy 10 minutes after we're done.
I met a 21 year old girl the other day in a chat room who said she'd had sex with 30+ men she met online and many more she met in real life. When I told her I was a virgin, rather than wanting to bang me as she had wanted two minutes earlier, she started telling me off for having waited, as if it was an insult to be talking to me. The more sexually aggressive women I talk to, the more I find that reaction.
A question for you virgin males- you meet a girl who is everything you want and you date for a while. She's fine with the fact that you are a virgin, but she herself has had sex with quite a few men in a short period of time (say 15-20 guys in the span of 2 years). Do you give up something that you've held onto to someone who is fairly liberal with her body, not knowing whether it'll be a relationship or if you might just be the next notch on her bedpost? | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:28:56 AM | Both, OP.
It would be exciting but I haven't had that experience since I was a teenager. I certainly wouldn't go looking for it now! Experience has it's merits ;)
 /clink! | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:18:11 PM |
“..there are some ugly doosh-bag f ucking guys with doosh-bag personalities who have some damn fine women on their arms..”
This is true, but you are narrowing the parameters of attractiveness. These men clearly possess some attributes which women do find attractive: a man who is not conventionally good-looking or unversed in the social niceties might still be muscular, athletic, wealthy, confident, socially dominant, etc.
I agree with JoeSki42’s laconic assessment. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 6:26:25 PM | | I am a male virgin but ive done it only 19 times. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:50:24 PM | I lost mine at 17, but I think it's funny how people consider virgins strange or people with a problem. I personally wouldn't date a women too too second hand in the sex department. I'd rather have sex with a women with little experience than with a lot.
I find sex before the age of 17 wrong. Before I turned 17 kissing a girl was a big deal, now it's more normal than anything to have a 15 year old with experience.
By experience I mean with different people. Not a lot with one person.
I just don't trust a women with excessive partners on her resume. lol | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 10:59:43 PM | Originally posted by 6thfinger
Am I making a mistake by being so open about my inexperience?
Heterosexual guy here.
Well...yes and no in my opinion. I've had a fair number of conversations with women about my own virginity and the general opinion is:
"Holy crap, really? I mean...you have a good personality and you're not horribly deformed or anything..heck your sorta cute. Well...I think that's pretty cool...but you don't tell women that when you first meet them, right? I mean, you probably want to wait a while."
Which strikes me as about right, and as such is usually what I do. I understand that you want them to understand, but at the same time after you make it loud and clear you're a forty year old virgin you're going to have a women sitting in front of you asking herself what she's supposed to do with that information. Think of the questions she has to ask herself:
"Is he asking for sex?"
"Maybe he's insecure about it?"
"Why is he telling me this?"
"Is he trying to engage my sympathies?"
And so on.
I think it's important to show that you can be yourself despite the years of solitude. You don't want to come off like you're desperation or loneliness personified. Maybe going forty years without intimacy has partially shaped you into who you are, but by no means should you let it define you.
Also, coming from a heterosexual guy, you look fine. Plus your profile reads a lot better than most on this site. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:04:59 PM | Man, I thought I was pretty much alone, but 6th Finger, I can almost ditto your post. I am a male virgin, 40 years old and nearing 41. I have always been really shy and introverted around the ladies and apparently, it hasn't helped me much. Like you, I am not deformed or odd looking, though I am a little overweight. Not grossly, but could lose a few. As I got older and older, I began obssessing about sex and the horrible fact that I have never experienced it before. It seems though as I get into my forties, that it may never happen. I just am resigning myself to the fact that I will go through life a virgin and die as one. It isn't that I don't have normal interest or desires, I just can't seem to impress anyone enough I guess. Sure, I have been on several dates, often those who I was fixed up with and they never amounted to more than one or two dates at the most.
I suppose the one difference in us is that I have never admitted to anyone that I am a virgin. In fact, I never have told the truth and feel the embarassment would be too hard to take. I have read comments such as get a hooker or something, but that is not me. I still hold a little hope I will find a nice lady, but am not holding my breath. I just can't go 40 years living a certain way and then automatically change into a social extroverted ladies man the next. I don't know how to change. However, like you, I don't feel I am as introverted as I was several years ago. Does all that seem to help with the ladies though? Not really. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:15:26 PM | Originally posted by 28_year_old_virgin
A question for you virgin males- you meet a girl who is everything you want and you date for a while. She's fine with the fact that you are a virgin, but she herself has had sex with quite a few men in a short period of time (say 15-20 guys in the span of 2 years). Do you give up something that you've held onto to someone who is fairly liberal with her body, not knowing whether it'll be a relationship or if you might just be the next notch on her bedpost?
Been there, done that. Didn't get to the sex bit, only the bit where she started crying half an hour into the date and confessed to me she was cheating on her boyfriend of seven months with me.
But I'd do it again. The only thing I regret is that she wasn't who she said she was.
It's a funny situation to find yourself in though. As a guy, my role in the relationship was to be the unflinching, steady, stoic and upbeat rock. And generally, the notches in the belt don't present themselves all at once, but rather little by little. But I always stayed cool as she casually laid on story after story about her past lovers. After a while though, I started thinking of each past failed relationship as a dead body. So she had a few at her feet; beside me, who doesn't? Then as she came out with more and more stories, the body count kept growing and growing...and I kept smiling and smiling....until after a while she was standing on top of a huge damned pile of corpses I was then standing in the shade of, still smiling like a fool, and asking:
"Eerr...say honey, I don't mean to pry, but exactly how did most of these things end exactly?" 
And for the record dudes, you should never be made to feel ashamed, embarrassed, or any kind of weird for asking this question. It is totally legitimate and has its place.
Ya know, just in case anyone finds themselves in this scenario. | |
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M2k7
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Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 120 | |
| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:18:04 PM |
A good buddy of mine is 39, and simply hasn't FOUND the right one yet.
There are a few things in life that bring you into adulthood. Having a job, getting your own apartment, having sex to name a few. By waiting for sex, it only deprives you from relating to women in and out of relationships. Sexual experiences shape the way we treat and respect and understand the opposite sex.
For the love of Pete, if you were any sort of buddy, get that guy laid. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:23:07 PM | Originally posted by VirginIam
I have read comments such as get a hooker or something, but that is not me. I still hold a little hope I will find a nice lady, but am not holding my breath. I just can't go 40 years living a certain way and then automatically change into a social extroverted ladies man the next. I don't know how to change.
I don't know if it's feasible at your place in life, but you could consider getting a job in sales. If you are introverted, you'd be freaking horrible at it, so you'd have to shape up those social skills way fast. Thing is, you'd be in a very constructive environment filled with very influential, outgoing, suave salespeople...and those type are constantly rattling on about their sexual exploits on the job.
It might totally change things around for you, but it's a huge start. Last year, my New Years Resolution was to stop being a socially awkward neurotic screwball, and to start working out. I got a job selling phones, hit every branch going down during the training process, and then actually developed some charisma, booted the anxiety, and am now very relaxed around people of all kinds.
It was freaking amazing.
And yeah...I'm still dateless. But things are changing for me, and rapidly at that. I'm working my way out of this funk. | |
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M2k7
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Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 122 | |
| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:26:41 PM |
Am I making a mistake by being so open about my inexperience?
I think you are making a mistake by revealling openingly your virginity. I feel that the concept of virginity at your age one assumes low self esteem and lack of confidence and women really don't want a guy who lacks confidence.
I think lying is in order. I think it's fine to say you haven't been with someone in a long time. Otherwise y0u'll just creep them out. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:39:37 PM | Ah, I'm going to disagree with that there. Lying is going to lower her trust in you. And besides, who outright asks their date if they're a virgin anyways on the first date? If she asks about your past relationships after describing some of her own, just smile, shake your head, and tell her that topic is best saved for another day. Change the topic, move on. If she presses, go ahead and tell her.
Of course, chances are none of this nonsense will even come up until about the third or fourth date, and at that point you should be comfortable enough to tell her the truth. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/15/2007 8:24:36 AM | I find it kind of shocking that people would write someone off based on their sexual experience or lack thereof. Are we that sex-obsessed that we're more concerned with whether or not they've done the deed than how they are as a person? Sure, experience counts for something but does it really outweigh all other considerations?
Sure, the person might be clingy after the fact, but that's not everyone. They may have issues, they may not. As for treating the person as though there's something wrong with them, that's messed up.
As for the argument that you're missing out on something, or aren't a real man, or any other half-baked argument to do with the fact that you're still a virgin, my counter-argument is that if you rush out and get it on with any woman just to get it done you'll lose respect for yourself, believe me.
If you're in your 30's or 40's are haven't met the right woman, so what? Good things come to those who wait. Don't listen to people who tell you it's not normal or that you have to conform to societal norms. Just because societal norms change doesn't mean they've changed for the better.
As for whether I'd date a female virgin, absolutely. As long as she was a fun person, great smile and I saw some potential there. If she was in her 20's or 30's I still wouldn't care - if she did have issues these would probably come out before we ever slept together, so I'd make the decision then whether or not to continue in the relationship. | |
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| Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/15/2007 8:34:34 AM |
I think you are making a mistake by revealling openingly your virginity. I feel that the concept of virginity at your age one assumes low self esteem and lack of confidence and women really don't want a guy who lacks confidence.
I think lying is in order. I think it's fine to say you haven't been with someone in a long time. Otherwise y0u'll just creep them out.
Are you serious?!?! It would be way more creepy to find out that they'd lied to you about it...
And being a virgin has NOTHING to do with self confidence or self esteem. It's more about self respect. If you're enjoying life without it, why give it up to some loser just so that morons like yourself won't judge you for it?!?! | |
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