| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:01:01 PM | | There is definitely no justification for cheating. In my book, it's the ultimate sin and unforgiveable. It's a definite dealbreaker. Cheaters like to blame their partner for their cheating ways when it's the cheating party who is to blame and who has issues. If a friend of mine asked me to cover for them while they cheated, it would go against my beliefs and I'd decline and end my friendship with that person and I would tell that person's spouse. If I was to go along with their request, I'd be condoning cheating and going against my beliefs and cheating is something I have never condoned and never will. There is no excuse to degrade and disrespect a partner and ones children. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:21:57 AM | Well i can understand it. Peopl lie and cheat and kill and fart and do all kinds of things. It would take me about 200000000 pages to put down the lot. So they cheat because they don't get what they need. I won't cheat because I get stressed at the thought of it he he he. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:47:41 PM |
There are, when it's in the abstract, but faced with the daily reality of vicious rows and the growing tide of unhappiness, especially if there are kids having to live with the unhappy, angry and frustrated couple, I think that few who are not religiously hypnotised would really say it was worse than the two calling it a day. So instead of facing daily reality and "deal with it", "work it out", communicate and make amends, you advocate a coward' s creed - when the going gets tough, the (emotionally) tough get going.  Play dirty and inject religious rites - I won't bite - my words apply to marriage of the souls (that promise to the SELF, as I said), as much as any holy formality - when two people Love and care for/about each other.
No - cheating is NEVER justified - cheaters need to grow backbones, do themselves a favor and not overlap relationships.
Surely, one as enlightened as yourself would agree that "happiness" comes from within - that it relies categorically on yourself. But wait - other people's actions can affect you? Imagine that - Guess we're all only human in the end after all. 
- Your Excogitator | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:14:26 PM | Never, if you aren't happy with the person you are with... BREAK UP... too dam easy really... There is no excuse, justification for cheating at any time. There are two choices, sort the relationship out, or break up and find someone else.
Being deceitful has too many consequences. The person who has been cheated on, will usually find they end up having trust/self esteem issues once they discover what has been going on... And let's not forget the threat of STD's... while it may be fine for a person to expose themselves to infection ... NO ONE has the right to take that risk with their partner. If I am in a relationship, I should not feel (at a certain point) that we need to use protection.
There are too many risks involved.... Cheating is one of the most selfish acts there is, in a relationship. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:27:59 PM | | There is never any justification for breaking someones heart, lying to them and decieving them. Its abusing them as far as Im concerned. Ive never cheated .I have been tempted so I got shot of the relationships I was in. Ive never edged my bets at someone elses expense. Its wrong. End of. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:34:36 PM | It is a major breach of etiquette to involve others in ones private affairs. They should not ask you to cover for them, and it is wrong for them to do so.
Tell this person that you are uncomfortable with what you've been asked, and request they no longer involve you. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:39:54 PM |
If your partner isn't doing it for you, so badly that you feel you have to cheat. Then you need to leave the relationship.
Why be in a relationship, if you, or both of you aren't happy?
Just move on and walk away from the pain...
I think for married men w/money, a good portion of the thinking is simply that it generally makes more fiscal sense to cheat than to divorce, if you can avoid getting caught.
However, I agree w/your basic thinking particularly in regards to dating rather than marriage and it's why I've never cheated, ever, and won't ever be cheating. When I've been cheated on I've just walked away, and my feeling has always been, if your unhappy and it can't be fixed, move on. That's it.
However when you see guys like McCartney and Abramovich taken to the cleaners for 8-9 digit settlements (neither were cheating as far as I know) you can see why divorce is a very, very, very expensive decision for a man (or in Spears case, a woman) with money.
While that doesn't justify cheating or excuse it, it certainly one way that explains why it can happen w/people w/plenty of cash to lose via a divorce. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:45:28 PM |
I have a friend who has been married for 35 years, and they have recently being doing the dirty dancing with someone else. They have on many occasions tried to persuade me to get involved in this affair, in ways of hiding there whereabouts if there partner asks, and accompanying them on nights out, as an excuse for going out. I don't understand what is going through there mind as they have a very supportive, understanding partner. Who looks after them financially, emotionally, and physically. I am finding it very hard to comprehend as I am a very respectful person towards others and myself.
I'm sure all the cheaters will think so, but no there isn't. You break up with the person and you move on. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:54:17 PM | none that i sane person would believe to be justified.
break up with the person first IF YOU MUST AND AS A LAST RESORT. then go after as many lovers as you want. but cheating is a betrayal of solemn trust. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:54:20 PM | I will not lie for my friends. On the few occasions this has come up, I make it very clear that I am not to be used as an excuse or alibi. And, if their actions require an alibi, then I may have to consider whether they are really friendship material.
On the other hand, their spouses find out very quickly that they are not to come to me on fishing expeditions. If they want to know what their husband and I did, where we went, or what he said, then they need to be having that conversation with him. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:04:52 PM | Re: x file:
That is not "cheating", as there is no lying and betrayal of trust.
While this behavior may not be my thing, and probably not yours, if it is consensual, and this sometimes is a big IF, then no one is doing harm to another.
When one commits his/her heart, soul, mind, body to another then betrays this same person to whom he/she has made the commitment, it is a very deep hurt. Asking a friend to become collusive is unfair and dishonest.
It is difficult to tell a friend, "No, I will not become involved in this situation. Do not use me in your lies." I would have no trouble saying this to a friend who wanted to use (and use IS the operative word here) me as cover.
Good luck to you who started the thread. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:30:07 PM | There is NO justification for cheating on a partner. Ever! Only selfish, self centered, self absorbed individuals cheat. Instead of doing the righteous act of breaking up with their main relationship first, they want their cake and eat it too (keeping # 1 partner in the dark and venturing off with their latest conquest). People who do this are not only selfish and insecure, they are unethical. Period. They need to grow up, go past their fear(s), learn how not to be so self absorbed by reading their Bible (a YUK concept to them in the first place) and learn that everything we do as human beings is a learning lesson that should NOT consist of dumping and treading on to/in to others space(s) , physically and emotionally. If they had taken the righteous path in the first place, they would do good for themselves as well as others. But, since they are clueless and irresponsible individuals in the first place, they do what is NOT good for them, and hence NOT good for everyone.
If they don't want to ever open up the Bible and learn wisdom, the next best thing to read is E. Tolle's "A New Earth". Every one, no matter who you are can comprehend what Tolle has written. You just need to slow down a few nights in your busy roller coaster lives and read the book. Actually, it is a must read and should be kept by your side along with your Bible for the rest of your lives. IT takes one step and that one step is to open up the books and read them. Hey, if you are too lazy to read or can't read for whatever your reason, you can always log on to Oprah.com and download Tolle's live session detailing all 10 chapters of his book with a live audience from around the globe. Everything on Oprah's site is FREE - NO CHARGE for every one who is the slightest interested in knowing what we "as humans" is all about. I promise (and I don't use these words lightly) that reading both books is the best thing you can do for your selves.
Peace. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/18/2008 10:13:36 PM | | I have a friend who cheats. I don't lie or cover and I don't approve. When I listen to the fights they have as a couple and the hurtful things that get said, I feel sorry. Still, I think in that case you either need to split or get counseling to work it out. Cheating is not going to help anything. | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/19/2008 9:23:35 AM | | I came back here to this thread, just to see if anyone actually "supported" cheating...and I have to say, as a 5 year "resident" of POF...it is refreshing as all heck, to see the posts made! ;O) | |
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| Is there any justification for cheating on a partner ?
Posted: 6/19/2008 9:30:45 AM | I'm with others, no justifications. I have a friend in an "open" marriage, they are upfront and honest about the "others" which I don't consider cheating. That wouldn't work for me, but it does seem to work for them and who am I to judge that? At any rate ~ sneaking is merely a betrayal in my book. JMO  | |
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