| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:01:04 PM | | i imagine that it's just another form of the typical "friends with benefits" arrangement...someone safe, familiar, whom you trust, but also someone without expectations. i guess people do it because it seems physically and emotionally safer than a one night stand from the bar. i can certainly see their point. | |
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:08:03 PM | | I know a couple like this.. they were madly inlove with eachother.. living seperately.. got married.. shacked up together bought a house.. etc etc.. things fell apart rapidly.. he would leave for a week or so and she would miss him as would he.. they would make up have wild crazy sex for a month then things would fall apart again.. rinse/repeat..rinse/repeat. Finally they came to the conclusion they like there space.. they like to be alone.. like 100% alone and not have to worry about anybody but themselves.. but they were madly in love with eachother.. so they broke up.. and are still together as a happily unmarried couple that in my opinion will be together forever because of how they are with eachother.. its perfect for them. | |
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:13:14 PM | | Not all chemistry is good but maybe good sexual chemistry is still there for them and they like doing it together. Maybe it's more fun when it's not committed. Maybe they like to 'claim' each other once in a while to build their own egos. Maybe they are both lonely at the same time, maybe familiar sounds good right then, maybe they like cheating on their partners with someone they know is there for a quickie...who knows. I'm not sure why you equate marriage and sex as the reason they stayed together or broke up, lots of people like casual sex for whatever reason while lots of people don't have much sex in their marriage. Wanting to be married to someone and wanting to boink them once in a while is like apples and oranges. | |
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:22:31 PM | >>>Wanting to be married to someone and wanting to boink them once in a while is like apples and oranges. <<<
Thanks for the laugh. I needed that! | |
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:05:17 PM | Some people just don't along well in the relationship... and until they are ready to move on they feel comfortable with their ex -- a lady I used to work with had 5 kids with her ex... and only three of the kids were PRE-Divorce :) lets just say after 5 she said NO MORE to him  | |
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:00:45 AM | Single
I didn't know "why", that is "why" I was seeking some "insight".
I have never been in that "situation" but, know of some who have.
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:57:38 AM | I understand having sex with the ex. You know what they like and they know what you like. Just because the sex is good does not mean the couple should be together. This
phenomenon happens a lot and with good reason. If you were physically attracted one, you could be physically attracted again.
I can say I am still physically attracted to my exes, but the sex is not worth having any of them around. | |
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 12:09:51 PM | I can only speak for me when i divorced my wife cam to me and said I know we can't live together but what about sex?
for me it wasn't about the phisical thing but it was about trust and i didn't trust her anymore and wasn't willing to go down that road
Sex is about the union of two people who care about each other not just phisical action
I guess im old fashoned | |
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:34:34 PM | Brendan
Hey, sounds good to me!! I like that outlook!! BTW, nothing wrong with being "old fashioned" either. 
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:05:02 PM | Safety, familarity, and they have an itch.. I actually think this would be quite normal.. maybe not "healthy" but normal. You can have sex and enjoy it with someone who you can't live with.
I never did do it..the break up was bad enough just seems like it would be another break up. Reminds me of the Bonnie Raitt song.. "I can't make you love me".. saddest song I ever heard why someone would go through that..
I have a friend whose son and his wife keep on divorcing then doing the sex thing then getting back together and remarrying then file for divorce.. sheesh..it is obvious they love each other.. but sheesh enough is enough. | |
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:31:18 PM | | I am divorced and have never gone back to him, but have gone back to someone.... he was good, I felt safe and I needed to be touched... why go have a one night stand when I can be with someone I hav already been with. We both understood that it can't work in the long run, but hey, if you both have that need for human touch..... why not touch?!?!?! | |
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| Confused....Maybe You Can Help!!
Posted: 6/11/2008 8:33:32 PM | Now I’m confused! So am I to feel bad for wanting to have sex with my ex? Or should I feel good about denying my human urges? And if it were to happen I wonder what my friends would say? Actually I really couldn’t care what my friends would say… I’m having sex!
Here’s a different slant on things. I’d rather know that two of my friends were taking the time to “hook up” rather than hear that they were “loading up”… bip bip!
My friend, to each their own. I’d like to take a side but I believe that in doing so I’d be overlooking an intimate part of my friends’ relationship… one that I was never invited to.
Peace! | |
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