| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:09:39 AM | I think a ring makes a difference, when two people are contemplating having children. I creates a legal framework for the formal creation of a family, and lends structure for the "raising of the young".
There are other legal considerations, both pro and con, to marriage vs. cohabitation or having an intimate relationship outside of marriage.
Then, too, there are those who are "legalistic" from a religious perspective, somehow thinking it's "ok" to remarry, despite the literal biblical instructions, but not "ok" to have a close and intimate relationship without the legal structure.
So, yeah, it can make a difference. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:36:10 AM | In all honesty, It sounds as if she was in love with the idea of (marriage) itself. She seemed to have jumped into a quick relationship to satisfiy her need to get married. How strange of her to jump into a two month relationship and he already proposed to her. That sounds like an immature commitment on their part...I doubt it would last.
She has no respect or consideration of your feelings. Observe how fast she through
away 3 years for someone she does not know. For you, maybe, this was a blessing in
desguise. If she did not have the patience to wait for you, then so be it. If you are hurting in any way, do not worry, time heals all wounds.
The grass always look greener on the other side. In time, she will come to know
that she made a mistake and that patience is a virtue...she should have waited for you.
Love takes time to grow and develop. It does not happen over night. You start off as
friends, then if the chemistry is there, it develops into something beautiful..
Congratulations graduating from college, now you can focus on your career and put the past behind you. Maybe this happend so your path can be cleared for a new love to enter into your life. Enjoy (LIFE) there is no rush in getting married, take your time and make sure the person you choose is your life time partner for keeps... | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:52:01 AM | The ring is a embodied symbol of your devotion to each other - its something you work hard for, for her sake, without any direct benefit to yourself. It's also a token saying that you "havent" fallen into a comfortable rut as far as the relationship goes, and that a future with her is still important to you.
Personally, 3 years together w/o any ring is pretty harsh imo | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:21:37 AM | Well said - you read my mind and typed the words for me. If this woman cared and truly loved him, she would have stayed with him through thick and thin while they were getting finances and careers in order. She wanted to be married for the sake of being married. SHE'S the one that couldn't truly commit in her heart, mind and a soul -things a successful marriage is based on. She left? Count your blessings and thank your lucky stars! You deserve better.  | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:49:03 AM | AGREE
Women need the reassuranse every now and then and given ring would make her feel desirable.
However, after 3 years together, I don't believe you would have any future together -- don't kid yourself. It's just hurt self-esteem, not love
i love you and have and will do exactly what i have been doing that made you fall in love for me is not enough reassurance? | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/23/2008 9:30:11 AM | If you and your girlfriend were happy for the most part during those 3 years, and you truly felt she was the one for you, i think you should have given her a ring, it didn't have to be an expensive ring, it's the thought that counts, that would have shown her that you cared enough to officially 'make her your woman'...
I can kind of understand why she later did what she did, altho it was really a silly thing to do and i doubt if it'll last... | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/23/2008 9:46:41 AM | Three years is plenty enough time to give her a ring. With that being said, the fact that she met someone else like that makes her an untrustworthy slut. Next thing you know, she will want a BMW and when she doesn't get it, she will meet a man willing to buy her one.
So even though you should've given her a ring, just thank God that you didn't. See how even our stupidity can help in the end? 
Justin | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/23/2008 9:51:05 AM | The ring had nothing to do with her leaving. This is why she did:
In any case, I ended up not talking to her for a couple weeks because of some issues we had
If the issues are bad enough to not talk for a couple of weeks, the relationship isn't going to work, period. Ring, engagement, child, whatever, if things are that bad that you don't speak for weeks, the relationship is gone. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/23/2008 10:25:02 AM | So you were with her for three years, she asked when you would propose, you said when you're ready, she leaves you, and agrees to marry another person after being with them for only two months?
I would count your blessings and be glad to be rid of such an emotionally unstable person. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/23/2008 11:53:15 AM | It makes a big difference to the guy who is selling the ring and his family who need a new swimming pool...if you go all out he'll actually be very happy,especially if your spouse/girlfriend returns it a year later after the break-up to make some cool cash and shockingly finds out it was only worth 1/100th of what was stated or worse that she only gets $20 for it...still this may be a good thing and why you should always buy low.
RatzoRico. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/24/2008 4:05:27 PM | | Ok I've read all of the first page and the biggest part coming from all the woman says it does mater. I personally don't think it does if you two loved each other than a ring wouldn't make any difference. NOTICE I said both. I think she was just wanting to get married and that's it. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:03:05 PM | What is a marriage, truly? Is is all about a peice of metal that encirles one finger? No-that is only a symbol of the couple's bond.
A marriage boils down to the bond that exists between the couple, and thier dedication to one another. But what exists even beyond the marriage? The BOND between two people. The stronger the bond, the stronger and long-lived the relationship.
I feel that many people (both women and men) misunderstand what truly makes a relationship work. It's not the ring, or even being married, that truly counts. It is the bond between a couple, and their dedication towards one another. You have to be truly dedicated, and work at the bond and the relationship in order for it to work throughout the years. No marriage licence or a band of metal is going to accomplish that.
Getting back to the first post-it does sound as though she was placing too many limits on the relationship, and not really focusing on the bond itself that held you together. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:09:03 PM | I think people should be together for atleast 4 or 5 years before even getting engaged. I'm glad my boyfriend feels the same way. You were with her for 3 years, in my eyes that is the ultimate commitment. Looks like she listened to too much Dalilah or was just plain materialistic. Its nice if the man you love proposes to you and gives you a ring, but to base the entire relationship on it is stupid. What mattered the most in this case was how you survived the thick and thin of the relationship while you were together. She clearly did not value that. Be thankful and move on. There are good women out there.
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:17:20 PM | A wedding ring is the best way of ensuring your sex life will be a memory.
Yes, it matters to women, because once they have your ring they dont need to actually persuade you to give them one anymore!!
Any man who marries is a fool. You have everything to lose and nothing to gain.
I should know, I did it 3 times!! | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:30:16 PM |
I think people should be together for atleast 4 or 5 years before even getting engaged.
ilovecartman, Your 21 :-) 4 - 5 years for you is a long time. Your sense of time will change dramatically when you turn 25. I'm 39 now and if I waited 4 to 5 years before considering getting engaged... at my current dating history rate I may be 150 before I that happens.
I believe very much that a ring has significant meaning. I couldn't buy my last GF one even though she really wanted it because she didn't show the commitment level toward our relationship. I wanted to. I wanted to believe. Every time some event came up that involved a present I went looking. I just couldn't buy it because she wanted it. I can only buy it if I believe. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:37:12 PM | Does a ring make a difference? Apparently, to her, the ring was the ONLY thing that made a difference.
What do I think about her leaving you and marrying a guy she hardly knows?
I think you dodged a bullet, hon. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/24/2008 11:01:08 PM | What is a marriage, truly? Is is all about a peice of metal that encirles one finger? No-that is only a symbol of the couple's bond.
A marriage boils down to the bond that exists between the couple, and thier dedication to one another. But what exists even beyond the marriage? The BOND between two people. The stronger the bond, the stronger and long-lived the relationship.
I feel that many people (both women and men) misunderstand what truly makes a relationship work. It's not the ring, or even being married, that truly counts. It is the bond between a couple, and their dedication towards one another. You have to be truly dedicated, and work at the bond and the relationship in order for it to work throughout the years. No marriage licence or a band of metal is going to accomplish that.
Getting back to the first post-it does sound as though she was placing too many limits on the relationship, and not really focusing on the bond itself that held you together.
yessss.somebody gets it.you have to know that you are married to each other before you have the ceramony.in other words.when you have the ceramony or get a ring,it shouldnt be a sign that you are commited.you should all readt know.i wouldnt get someone a ring if they were telling me that they need to know i am commited.i only would if i knew they already knew. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:08:14 AM | this woman's identity was all wrapped up in the idea of being married.
therefore she HAD to dump you at her first opportunity to see that fulfilled.
consider yourself very, very lucky. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:35:54 AM | | Well ..if its a ring that is going to make a difference if someone stays with you ..then that relationship will never last ..its what you learn from each other and share from the heart ..that keeps you strong ..communication and understanding ..willing to bend when needed ..its the little things that keeps things alive ..not a ring ..a ring will not keep you together or make your life together happy ..only you can do that ... | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:48:15 AM | | Some women go to college to find a husband. It was common practice in my parents and grandparents day, but it still happens today. It's called a FAM degree. You go to college to major in finding a man. I'm not sure if that is really what she was doing, but, it's the first thing that came to mind after reading the OP. If you are not ready, then don't let anyone pressure you into it, specially if you're still in your early to mid 20's. The ring WILL make a difference if you're both early 30's and there are no communication there on what you both want out of the future and with each other. Women see the ring differently then men. Women see the ring as a symbol of love (which the 20th century marketing did), and men see it as a ball a chain. This btw, is coming from 13 years in the fine jewelry industry. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/26/2008 6:13:02 AM | "yessss.somebody gets it.you have to know that you are married to each other before you have the ceramony.in other words.when you have the ceramony or get a ring,it shouldnt be a sign that you are commited.you should all readt know.i wouldnt get someone a ring if they were telling me that they need to know i am commited.i only would if i knew they already knew. "
The sad part is that so many people don't get it. A relationship is not about the ring, or even the marriage, overall. They have significances, don't get me wrong, but they should not be the ultimate focus of the relationship-or even the main GOAL.
Both a ring and even having the marriage licence is no guarantee that the relationship will last. There is no guarantee-but what a couple does have is their commitment and dedication towards one another. Without that (granted, taking into consideration that the couple has the same goals in life and commitment towards one another), the relationship will not last. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/26/2008 6:22:17 AM | (original post by x_file)
Message:
Does a ring make a difference?
LOL... you ought to check this thread:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10476459.aspx
What is a marriage, truly?
Check the above link. If you don't have the time to read all the post just read the ones on page 6.
_______________________________________________________
Unfortunately, that woman (and I have been following that thread-lol) doesn't get it either!! What a joke! On a side note-that story is just a sad indication of how shallow people have allowed themselves to be. There was apparently many things wrong with the relationship for it to end in that manner. Her "reaction" to sue isn't justification for breaking an engagement.
Anyhoo-that story is a good example of how misguided some people have gotten over marriage. It is not a matter of money, but rather a matter of the relationship. If a relationship, or the bond holding two people together, isn't strong enough and they break up, then they break up. What that is telling both parties is that they weren't with the right person to begin with. | |
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| Does a ring make a difference?
Posted: 7/26/2008 7:09:26 AM |
I just wanted to do everything the right way, by getting my career going first so I could provide for her and marry her.
Really men still have to provide? Thought both parties have to work. How do lesbians buy stuff?
He's 24. She's 21. Who gets married that young? The average age of marriage is 27-29. | |
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