| should a criminal background be held against a person
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:04:16 AM | Pedophilia damages so many lives; there is no cure; you need to wake up and stop the madness. At your age the incredibly poor judgement you are showing really is amazing.
I dont want you to post,"why are all men dogs". One thing for sure; the ones you choose are. Unreal. | |
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| should a criminal background be held against a person
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:33:38 AM | mthomjmark
Remember, up until the point that he decided to tell me about his past,I had no clue.
From the very moment he told me, I have neither seen him again or talked to him.
So please enlighten me as to how this shows poor judgement on my part.
There is really no way to properly screen anyone you meet on this site.
The only reason I posted my experience was to warn others it could also happen to them.
I am the type of mother who would NEVER put my child in a position of risk, nor would I choose the company of a man over the best interest of my family.
I see only one problem here that has nothing to do with my judgement, and it is one of peoples honesty on POF. | |
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| should a criminal background be held against a person
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:50:09 AM | To answer this properly....
I don't think a minor criminal background ie a onetime conviction for shoplifting, should be held against a person.
However what you say about this person, I'd run, if I were you. What if this turd goes after some kid in your family ?
Pedophiles can't be cured, neither can rapists, or mass murder criminals and being such the menace that they are to society, should be put to death in my opinion. I have no compassion for such people ! | |
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| should a criminal background be held against a person
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:25:17 PM | Gee, he's still married and he's a convicted child molester. Gosh, he hasn't been snatched up yet?
RUN LIKE HELL!
The odds against a child molester changing his ways are astronomical. Why court trouble? Especially when he's already lied about being married? | |
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| should a criminal background be held against a person
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:49:09 PM | You sound like you already know.
The thing with assessing criminal backgrounds: how long ago was it , how serious was it, patterns and red flags are sexually based offences.
The things with the "pathologies" that you have mentioned is that they are often ones that have a EXTREMELY low recovery rate. Besides pedophilia, he sounds like he has difficulty with other addictions.....sexual and likely involving substances.
With all these factors combined....
He can not be around children, ever.
We don't even know the roots..or what preceded their abusive behavior-.my guess would be a personality disorder, significant trauma etc which opens up a whole new plethora of fun stuff for you to deal with.
In my experiences, people with addictions (recovered or otherwise) are extremely good with people, super intelligent, are raw, sensitive, open (at times) and therefore often able to draw nurturing people toward them.
In their "BAD" states, craving or using, they act like parasites...often different that their "good or normal" selves...they will use, abuse, demand, control and manipulate to get what they want..and to satisfy distorted personal needs in the interim...
People with addictions can be beautiful, but depending on where they are at in their journey, those around then have to decide how close to get as you are at significant risk of drowning with them.
PPl who have experienced trauma deserve love BUT they have to come a long way on their own..AND with extensive support, often professional, in addition to in their own minds and hearts being healthy before they can truly accept love and give it back....
You have to assess that on its own, BUT coupled with everything you have said, you would be heading to a world of hurt.
Lucky for you that your hand was just on the door. | |
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| should a criminal background be held against a person
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:53:26 PM |
I find out he's still married but has been seperated for six years, been in prison for child molestation, is listed on the convicted child molesters site under Meagan's law, and was heavy into pornographyand is attending groupcounseling for this addiction.
~OP~ I had a different response in mind prior to getting to that particular part of the post. I'm sorry, but that is off-limits in my book. The love of my life had a less than stellar past, it didn't make an ounce of difference to me. He was honest from the onset and continued to be. I didn't have to find out about anything. No shocks, no lies, no reason to be concerned. Violent crimes, sexual crimes, and domestic violence issues are a no-go for me. Separated alone is a deal-breaker. I suppose if you want a life of uncertainty, the inevitable "what's going on with you" and a slew of other issues, feel free to do what you wish with that individual. Personally, I think you, me and all other women are worth more than that ~ but you are certainly entitled to live as you choose. JMO  | |
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| should a criminal background be held against a person
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:40:51 PM | Normally I would say if a person pays society back for the crimes they were a guest of the government for , they do deserve a second chance, but for certain crimes ( crimes against children, serial rapist etc ) sorry those are some of the worst crimes, and its takes more then being messed up to commit crimes like that.
Those people I just plain stay away from. | |
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| should a criminal background be held against a person
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:22:51 PM | | He will be on the sex offenders List for ten years - for rehabilitation, if he can get through ten years then he should be given a chance BUT DON'T EVER LET YOUR CHILDREN BE ALONE WITH HIM JUST IN CASE. | |
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