| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/20/2008 11:04:01 PM |
u know.....if someone is gona cheat.....he doesn't need a profile on POF! its called communication, committment, trust.....good luck 2 ya'll
This is the winner of the thread.
Ever notice that people hate when their partners go to clubs and bars and stuff? In reality, they're more likely to be screwing around with their co-worker or someone they met at the grocery store.
This is just another one of those self esteem things. If someone's going to cheat, they're going to cheat. The nicest sweetest girl you've ever met can cheat at the drop of a hat. You really have no way of knowing who will and won't so it's absolutely pointless to worry about it or try to control it. People will do what they will do. All you can do is react after it happens.
And when it happens don't do that retarded angry or sad crying act as if they give ad amn. Just move on without a word and look like someone with a backbone for a change. | |
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| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/21/2008 12:39:39 AM | Someone who decides to stay on a date site after meeting and connecting with someone and telling them they want to date exclusively is by admission saying they are talking out of both sides of their mug.... I have never met any long term relationships that would last if the partners are spending their down time chatting with insignificant and untangible people who have no real influences over their lives, love is created through action and stepping up to the plate and doing what needs to be done to make it happen .. this is cyber space, not real time space .. anyone that would forego the real deal for this is a nutter!!! who does not deserve the gonads mamma and dad gave em ... caring and nurturance have to be acted on, physically ... why spend time with cyber people if you have the real deal..
People with self esteem would drop the habituated cyber egomaniac .. and never look back... before any crying act... and cmdrfunk.. the nicest sweetest girl does not cheat at the drop of a hat .. she acts from wence she came .. from parents with no boundaries and the moral compass of a gazelle in heat ... impulse behaviour is a sickness and there is definitely ways to see and feel what is going on, some would rather not face reality ... that is why each behaviour satisfies the other .. on a temporary basis..
mature relationships exist with mature behaviour ... to act mature is to be mature. Like I have said before .. the stats for successful mating from the cyber world are 3 percent so there is very likely only 3 percent that are dating material .. sad but reality .. | |
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| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/21/2008 12:54:36 AM | | He may be very interested in you, BUT not taking his profile off or hiding it tells us that he is NOT capable of being in an intimate relationship. Wait for the guy that deletes it before you do. | |
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| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/21/2008 5:11:33 AM | | Personally i have made friends on here who i would want to continue chatting to, so even if i was dating someone i wouldnt delete my profile, and i wouldnt expect them to either. Its all to do with trust, i think it would only be a problem if someone is insecure. | |
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| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/21/2008 6:02:20 AM | Howbig:
Someone who decides to stay on a date site after meeting and connecting with someone and telling them they want to date exclusively is by admission saying they are talking out of both sides of their mug.... Ahhh herein lies the kicker, the OP makes no mention that they dicussed exclusivity. I would also argue your statistics of 3% try as I might I have been unable to find a source on that number. | |
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| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:00:10 AM | Helen Fischer... Helen E. Fisher, PhD, is Research Professor and member of the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology
She used the figure as a national average in a lecture from TVO and educational series study this success rate figure implied a certain time frame to longevity and various factors of solidity as to the emotional health of the union, time frame was over three years ...
The figures according to online dating insider Sept 17, 2007 are bleaker the rate of success they field is less than one percent and they are also using data from paid sites .. so it is what it is.
If the chemistry is strong and two people can still think beyond their dopamine and are reasonably sound humans they will either leave this date site or they aren't into each other .. why would anyone spend good real time space filling it with cyber space... doesn't make sense to me ... if you got the real deal why play in the reel deal! | |
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| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/21/2008 8:53:03 AM | | I believe some refer to it as either *keeping their options open*, or the *grass is always greener* effect. I'm going in search of this Helen Fisher and her research if in fact the numbers mesh it is something to weigh. | |
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| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/21/2008 9:39:17 AM | | I'd be straightforward with him and tell him you feel a little uncomfortable because it gives the impression to others that he is still looking. I'd come right out and ask him if, since the reason he wants to stick around is so he can continue to chat with POF friends, he wouldn't mind changing his profile to "not single/not looking". If not willing to do that much, then it would seem you might just have a much bigger problem on your hands... Good luck. | |
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| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:09:53 AM | If he wants to stay on here because of friends I would not be too keen. People on the internet are not your friends, you know less about them than an acquaintance. Having fun on a singles forum etc. when you are single is fine but I don't want it to be part of my life when I settle down with someone.
I want us to have real friends and a real life and sorry to those who stay on here when you are in a relationship, but I've seen a lot of couples on here split up for greener pastures shortly after they both swear up and down they are only hear for platonic or forum reasons.
There are A LOT of other forums on the net that aren't mostly dominated by single people. | |
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| you remove your profile but he does not remove his
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:58:16 AM |
i think you've misunderstood my question.......i have not demanded he remove his profile......and also, is not a question of trust.........was only askin for input as to how this is supposed to be done, cause it seems to me (even at this stage of the responses here) that there are still conflicting oppionions on some of the "dating rules"
Actually, I think you've misunderstood the answers. There ARE NO DATING RULES. There is no HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE DONE.
The two of you have to decide for yourselves. Together.
There are many on this site and others primarily for the forums. Just read my profile. Just because you are in a relatioship does not mean you should not be learning, discussiong, or sharing about relationship issues. If he or you are cheaters, removing yourself from this site will not prevent you from cheating . . . in fact, it might be a ploy to gain your trust.
You are talking to the wrong folks . . . talk to him.
Best of luck on your relationship.
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