| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 4/27/2009 11:35:36 AM | I am independent. I depend on nobody to provide for me. But doesn't everybody want other people around for companionship?
All I seem to get are mooches, mama's boys, drunks. Yes, alot of men out there who want women to support them. | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 4/27/2009 3:08:50 PM | | Being independent is so far away from being alone. It seems that men are just expected to be independent (except those manchild who live in mom's basement) yet why would we want to be alone. A woman who is independent, WOW you mean you can call BS when the mechanic is trying to cheat you. I must admit that independence gives me a love/hate thing. Being with a woman who can do and does, ohhh that is a turn-on. Then again it does make it tough to do things for those kinds of hers, cause often she can do it just as well or better. Oh well. I guess that independent gal who is her is her for the same reason I am. I am comfortable being single and doing my thing, but having a partner to share time with would be nice. | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 4/27/2009 3:25:01 PM | | OP- Being independent doesn't mean you want to spend your life alone. It means you are your own person and you don't NEED anyone but more WANT someone. | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 4/27/2009 4:14:53 PM | | A man explained to me once that ,if a woman is very independent ,a man has a hard time with figuring out where he belongs in the relationship.A man needs to be needed in a loving relationship.A man loves helping a woman out and it is not a question if the woman is capable or not......sometimes we women take away from the relationship if we do too much........is this true guys?After this guy explained this I quit using the words"independent woman" | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 4/27/2009 4:35:06 PM | Independent is the opposite of dependent....and we do want to coinherit a path with that special 'one' to journey this haven of rock, absolutely!!
And there is nothing wrong with doing it 'independently' in the sence of leaving out the clingon religion!!!!
I list independent on my profile and what I mean is that I do not need to have a man by my side 24/7....
If he wants to go out with his buddies every now and then I am the type to wish him fun rather then give his ish for not spending more 'time' with me.....
I have a job and all the necessities I need to get by in life and am confident in my own skin. So I do not want a man to read my profile and think that I could be a clingon...and because I do not want a clingon in return I list this trait to let them know of our possible simularity.
So for the men who share in the same simularity knows what this means and tells them I am not of the clingon religion.
For those who are looking for a more 'needy' type or if they are a 'needy' type themselves then they can read who I am and either move on or read on~
P.S but if they are a clingon they better move the phuk on~
 | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 4/27/2009 4:41:13 PM |
I like it when they say they are honest and have integrity... But can never define it?
It's usually the first line in a fake Nigerian profile scam.
We automatically assume people are honest and trustworthy, why say-so up front unless you've given people cause to doubt you in the past? (I won't rob you, I promise!) | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 4/27/2009 5:11:24 PM | | To me it means "I am capable of doing things without my potential new guy, I won't need him for everything, I can function without him if I need to." | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/14/2009 3:34:05 PM | Wow.
Obviously you don't know what independent means. Independent and wanting to date are not mutually exclusive. I can take care of myself financially. I don't need another person to take care of bills or do chores for me. I make decisions for myself. What does that have to do with being a ****? You've completely lost me on that one.
I'm not clingy.
I don't need someone to tell me when to do something or how to do it.
I am extremely willing to take advice and constructive criticism from someone.
That was the wrong response for you to give if you were sincerely interested in getting to know me.
Your loss.
Good luck finding some poor little thing who doesn't know how to set up her dvd or cable. Or who doesn't know when to get their oil changed or can't change a flat. | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/14/2009 3:40:37 PM | | I think women say that because partly they are independent, and partly because they read all the posts and/or profiles from guys who say they want an independent woman, or they want a woman who can take care of herself, etc. So they are probably just stating up front that no, they are not looking for someone to be a parent figure or whatever. | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:14:26 AM | I consider myself to be Independant. I left home at close to fifteen and I have raised two beautiful daughters almost by myself. Sometimes Life's lessons teach you that you have to be strong, which some people say is independant. It is not always even a choice that you have made but what you do with what Life gives you. I like to spend time by myself, and I like who I am. I have even gone camping Alone! Which turned into a humorous scene when I got home and had to explain to the Police that I was fine and had not been kidnapped or anything because I did not tell anyone that I was going away by myself. Friends are good!
I get a little confused when a man says that they Love me because I am independant and then later breaks up with me because I do not NEED him. I do not need anyone, I want someone, that is totally different. I am capable of doing things on my own, but I would like to have someone to share my Life with. | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/24/2009 11:22:45 AM | It's a reaction to a previous relationship, men do the same thing, they're messing with your head.  They're not used to having a guy who doesn't need to know everything they are doing and everything they're thinking. It really means hold me instead of choking me.
Be warned, being the kind of guy who by nature makes them feel too free, you get told you don't care about them because you don't call them enough .
you can't win, face it, but you really don't want to since the prize for winning is ending up alone  | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:30:46 PM | Ok ... I had never heard that there was a bit of a controversy on the word 'independent'. I admit that I have it on my profile. For me it defines me with the considerations of who I need as a companion. It sound that additionally the man will have to know what 'independent means' ... uhmmm interesting.
Independent for me is - I am professionally involved, work full time, I am clear of who I would like to share time with and possibly my life, economically independent, committed to social interests and projects. What this implies for a man is that I choose to be in a relationship now because I am emotionally available and seek the same from the man. I am not seeking a man because I cannot live on my own, but rather because I value what a union brings to life (mine, his, the world). I actually want a companion who wants to be with me, who has a life of his own because whilst I will be there for him I cannot be there 100% of the time. I want/need a man who has some appreciation of his life prior to now by this I mean a man who is not afraid of what is ahead. Too many people (both genders) are so caught up in the past that cannot enjoy the present.
By now you may be asking what's that got to do with 'independent, why R U here?" ... well I am an independent thinker, I have an opinion about life and on just about anything really (just in case that was not clar already lol lol). These qualities are not appreciated (in my experience) by men not intending to offend anyone ... one is seen as a threat or labelled too hard to 'handle' and of course many others. | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:33:01 PM | | ohhhh as independent as I am I cannot fix the car, the plumming, the roof. You can came and fix mine any time lol lol Cheers | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:50:01 PM | Don't you think it's possible to be independent yet in a relationship?
IMO, being independent doesn't mean that you don't want to be in a relationship, it can simply mean that whilst you are independent, you choose to share the journey with another... | |
|
| |
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:12:29 PM | Asydneymale - beautifully put and you will find no arguements here.
The concept of 'business proposition' is very much alive except that is never named. I believe that is active in the afluent world as much as anywhere else. Cheers | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:20:08 PM | You are right I don't see profiles of men identifying themselves as independent.
Is it because men generally and traditionally are seen as providers? This may imply independent and therefore 'there is no needs' to state it. This often comes from how men identify themselves and also the expectations of their partners and at many levels continues to apply.
Whereas I would argue that women have actually needed to forge a path in the public arena of how effective and able they actually are. I mean public because women are incredibly strong and able individuals yet in the public, society did not acknowledge such traits, but was more comfortable to outline 'traditional' roles such as child rearing, dutyful house wives, and of course all compose and attractive to their husbands.
Some thoughts. Cheers | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:47:13 PM | | In other words, we dont need a man to take care of us, but it would be nice to have a man around to share things with. Its like having a piece of cake, you can eat the cake with no icing, but it would be nice to have a little icing with your cake, get it? | |
|
| If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:53:14 PM | Mr Dancecard,
The concept of co-dependence can be both positive and negative. I agree that it can offer 'a lot of fun or a lot of heartache'. If one is unfortunate to fall in the heartache side it is incredibly challenging and problematic. I would say though that co-dependence is closely align with issues of self esteem and self worth and I add that it is difficult to negotiate a relationship when the other has low self esteem.
I guess the risks are high in that one can actually loose one's own identity and therefore the whole relationship becomes toxic. Cheers | |
|
| |
Home
login 
