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| He's divorced, but is he ready for a new relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:43:26 AM |
i know i 'dated' immediately after divorce
You guys and ladies are amazing. You advise people when to date, when not to, how to avoid the urge, etc. But you all seem to get the dates.
I've been single all my life, never married, and I can't get an effing date if my life depended on it. I don't even know what it takes any more to go on a date. Everybody rejects me, and I don't know if it's due to some awful societal stigma that I show stamped onto my forehead, which all see but I, or just a stroke of bad luck, a statistically extremely low incidence of encountering rejections only. Or maybe I'm aiming too high? That Hilton girl does not even return my calls any more.
So what do you think? Should I lower my expectations, or take a shower and brush my teeth? Should I get a job or a stomach stapling? Should I stop flirting with every good looking woman, or buy a diamond ring and raffle it off at a beauty paegant? | |
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| He's divorced, but is he ready for a new relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:49:55 AM | | All men are different in the time they need to move on. The longer the relationship, if it was at all good, if she left, then it will take longer. Something else though, just a thought for you, men are NOT taught like women how to deal with their emotions. Women tend to(at end of relationship) stop, mourn the passing, feel the pain, think about what went wrong, then heal and finally move on to dating again. Either men don't have that gene, or were not given this mechanism. Men tend to stuff their feelings, not deal with them(manly thing to do, stiff upper lip BS). That is also why they get angry, it is a way of hiding the pain rather than feel it cry, mourn. Then they decide(in anger and denial of feelings) "I'll just go out and meet another woman", this is unfair to the new woman who may get the anger, pain, undealt with feelings or worse he leads you down the road towards a relationship only to pull back and say he is not ready. You just need to question, observe and be aware of this when you meet a guy. Again sometimes things were dead for awhile nobody just pulled the plug, so he may be in a good place after a short while, it's a case by case. No two situations or even men are the same, just some general guidelines. My 2 cents, Bob | |
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| He's divorced, but is he ready for a new relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:02:44 AM | Sorry to say but this goes for both genders not just males. I too recently had a number of lengthy conversations via the phone lines. I was laid back and did not offer any sexual comments or suggestive comments.
She was curious so decided to up the anty. She got playful and used plenty of inuendos.
After a week or so I suggested we meet. She made excuses as to why she couldn't. Oh and while flirting she gave me a hint of the baggage she was carring. It was not the carry on type.
So I wrote and suggested she was not ready to take the next step. There was at least in my opinion too much on her plate. Naturally she denied this and wrote I wasn't what she was looking for. Duh she called me 2 or 3 times day but when I suggested we meet I was no longer what she was looking for. Hm Wow that my friends is surely crazy.
At what point was she going to tell me I wasn't her type ?
Go figure but yes it happens to all of us not just with men. | |
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| He's divorced, but is he ready for a new relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:20:03 AM | | Paul, there are loads of these in both sexes. Mostly marrieds who flirt with idea of seeing someone new. They get on here, write a profile saying they're divorced, then flirt and fantasy time. Then when you ask for a meet, poof, they're gone, onto the next person to have a fantasy about. Similar thing men/women do, coming out of a bad relationship, they post a profile, flirt away, but deep down they know there isn't going to be a meet. They're in love with idea of forming a bond, not really able to do the work required. In these cases type has nothing to do with it, it has more to do with the good feeling that comes from flirting. When you haven't worked on you, your not ready, BUT, you still want a connection to someone, hence the fantasy. Bob | |
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| He's divorced, but is he ready for a new relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 2:09:10 PM |
Wow. I would say that he is on the prowl, rebounding and looking for one thing and one thing only.
Why is it in every thread someone always automatically assumes that the guy is just out for sex. Are you people really that lucky that you have never had your heart broke and were forced to try and move on. Have you never heard of the rebound dating. I have been where he is, he misses his wife but knows he must go on. He finds a woman that makes him happy but then his mind starts playing with him. He is stuck between his feelings and only time will heal him. He needs to get out on dates to put her behind him, unfortunately he might hurt someone else in the process. It happens with both men and women, it has nothing to do with sex. | |
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