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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:09:43 PM | Re msg 250 ^^Quite selective reading there. You mention about sticking to the topic, yet do not quote my second paragraph?
I don't need to "get you". The humanization of pets is all over this thread, so to say "this thread is not about anthropomorphism" is being pretty short-sighted.
So please tell me how YOUR statement here:
When my cat was diagnosed with a terminal illness, I paid out of pocket for her treatment until I couldn't do it anymore. Not until I didn't want to, but until I had no more money to do it. I then stopped all treatment, rather than do it halfway. I kept her with me until it was clear she was suffering more than not. I didn't have a house to "give up", not that it would have saved her. She was terminally ill. And giving up one's car would make no sense ~ how could I get her any treatment or get to work to earn the money to get her any treatment? You can't take kitties on the bus. And no, I wouldn't give up my car for a family member for the same reasons. Such moralizing and ignorance ~ wow.
is on topic? How does this have to do with relationships and giving up the pet??? No mention of a relationship in that one. All you are stating is what lengths you would go for your pet.... and name-calling to boot.. Classy? Nah..
I smell a large dose of hypocrisy.
Why some feel the need to debate the feelings, values, and experiences of others is beyond me.
It's a forum for discussion, if it's beyond you, well then, perhaps forums aren't for you.... | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:33:07 AM | Someone brought up a valid point
We'll ditch a wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend over icky stuff, but when my dog pees on the family room tiles....I sigh and get out the mop.
I wonder if we treat our pets like our children....but our spouse differently?
Mind you my dog loves me every day...and never complains either.
I wonder if thats it?
We give back what they give to us.
And maybe relationships are the same way.
I often said years ago if I ever found a man like my dog I'd marry him tomorrow.
I'm still single  | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:48:16 AM | | If your a cat lover dont bother dating someone whos alergic to cats.Algergies are not going away and to put it in perspective would you want to live the rest of your life with a cold(if your mildy alergic) to weezing and eventually not being able to breathe if your alergic.You usually dont have to worry about giving up your cat because it wont be worth the suffering and they will have enough in a short time and will be gone.They might hang around long enough to get laid and then you and your cat will be fishing again. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:57:30 AM | | ps: you just narrowed 20% of the population that are not available due to being alergic.Your down to 80% and odds of you and your cat being single for the next 5 years just increased dramatically | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:14:28 AM | | I am with you! Pets love you unconditionally and without question. Mine have been with me for a long time. I wouldn't ask someone I cared about to give up his children. my pets are the only children that I will ever be blessed with. I recently took in my bets friend's chihuaha, which I really hope not to keep, because her fiancee doesn't like LITTLE dogs. The dog belonged to her children. Anyone getting involved with another person needs to accept the WHOLE PACKAGE! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:17:00 AM | | Salty towers....i like the way you think! If a man looked at me day after day the way my cat has for 14 years or my dogs have for eight, i would worship at his feet! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:16:12 AM | My cats and horses are forever.
I've discovered I'm allergic to big, shaggy dogs (which is fun because I'm a dog groomer...) but would never DREAM of asking somebody to give up their dog because of my allergies. Allergies are almost always manageable. Heck... one of my closest friends is severely allergic to my horses, and it doesn't stop him from drugging up a few times a year to come to one of my riding lessons or shows.....
Medications, good management of the pet (brushing, bathing to reduce dander), regular vacuuming of carpeting and upholstery, and having certain rooms that they're not allowed in so that there are areas to get away from dander does the trick in just about all cases.
My mother's husband is allergic to her cats but refuses to take any sort of medication at all for it. I don't feel too sympathetic. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:04:53 AM | I think people here are relating giving up a pet to demanding partner requiring compliance...
I wouldn't be with a controlling jerk -- pets or no pets.
But I would absolutely be proactive in putting a descent man first in my life that I cared for. By "choice". If this involved some circumstance where a pet were not feasible, I would be willing to find a loving home for my dog and it would be incredibly difficult! Sacrifices are what we do for love.
I have children and I can assure you they are nothing like pets. For people to put them in the same category is ridiculous. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:21:33 AM | Allergies are a tough one...I LOVE my cat and there is not a lot that would make me get rid of her.
We may have to come to a compromise about him not coming to my house. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:55:07 AM |
We'll ditch a wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend over icky stuff, but when my dog pees on the family room tiles....I sigh and get out the mop.
I wonder if we treat our pets like our children....but our spouse differently?
Mind you my dog loves me every day...and never complains either.
I wonder if thats it?
We give back what they give to us.
And maybe relationships are the same way.
Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that I'm not one who's quick to ditch a man I've committed myself to. I believe in honoring commitments I make, whether it's to an animal, a significant other, a job, a family member, or a friend. I just believe in commitment, period.
I don't see my animals as children (I already have children), I see them as friends who offer companionship, unconditional love and acceptance, endless entertainment, and a wonderful outlet for my love of four legged critters. I agree with you that people get what they give in relationships. For me, people who would be so willing to flake on a commitment they'd made to an animal who now depends on them and is bonded with and attached to them, who would be so quick to abandon that pet (emotinally if not physically) ~ those probably aren't people I'd have in my life anyway. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:27:21 AM | Msg# 236...Scott..Thank you for your kind reply and I wish you the best on your new found relationship!
There are many opinions on this subject and I've read them all, with an open heart and an open mind. I don't discount nor would I discount people that have children and see that as an entirely different bond..but...the original post was asking if we had to choose between our "pets" or a "relationship" what would we do? Just re-phrase the question for a moment to: If you had to choose between your "kids" or a "relationship" then who would you choose? To some of us, again..our pets ARE our children, but given my rare gift with being able to relate to animals (and trust me, that's the ONLY gift I've ever been given. lol), I would feel much more comfortable with someone that shares the same unique gift given to me (and most people male or female rarely have it), and I would expect him to fully understand and support me when I see an injured loggerhead turtle on the beach that can't possibly get back to sea without my..or my partner's help. I want to see in his eyes that he cares just a much about that turtle as I do and I want to see that he's just as "excited" about wanting to know about first aid in repairing a flipper as I am, and there simply aren't a lot of men out there that feel the same way, but I'm not going to attack other's because they don't share the same opinion as I do about choosing a pet/reptile/fish/ bird over a relationship.
Sans | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:49:27 AM | There is no way I would ever give up my pets for anyone. I love my little fuzzy faces! Men come and go; my furry babies are always here and they don't play games with my head.  Besides, I truly love all animals, so I don't date men that hunt, and, let's face it, men that don't like animals and/or cats are not going to like me very much, as two of my fuzzy faces are cats. I do much better with "animal people" than non-animal people.
On another note, Sans, I would help that little turtle too! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:53:48 AM | In following this thread, if nothing else comes out of this debate ... for me, anyway ...
I'm just happy to see so many people who are fully involved with and passionate about their pets, who take responsibility for what should be a life time commitment regarding their decision to own a pet and who acknowledge the role that those animals play in adding too the fulfillment they bring to our lives. It does my heart good to see those who deem their pets to be of true importance and significance and for allowing those critters to have a chance at having a loving home and a positive interaction with humans when so many are mistreated, abused and neglected, casually kicked to the curb, placed in shelters or just killed outright.
Too the people that have posted who would give up their pets for a relationship ... you have brought up some valid points and I support some of what has been written though it wouldn't be my choice ... we each have our own set of values and what works for some of us doesn't work for all of us ... I truly hope that you will never find yourself in a position in your lives where you would have to make this very difficult decision.
Be it animals, children, relationships or any number of situations that are not conducive to fulfilling our ultimate desire or immediate wants ... they are all quite expendible in this throw - away society in which we live ... and support ... as so few really want to take ownership of their actions if there is, indeed, some negative reaction or consequence or it no longer is a priority to satisfying our own selfish gratification ... it's just easier to go "oh, well" and move on ... far too many people are so quick too cast aside those situations that don't work for them and seldom give any real thought as to the residual effects of their decisions or actions. JMHO
jeffery | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:22:44 AM | ^^^Jeffery..excellent post (as usual) and you are spot on about all of us fully taking responsibility and making a strong committment in putting our children/pets/elderly parents or anything else above others if we have to choose between 'them' or a relationship. I went through menopause at 38 therefore, I wasn't able to have children so I asked God "why?" and he gave me my answer in my gift on how I'm able to relate to animals. I've never questioned him again.
Did I tell you guys about the time I saved a man-o-war jellyfish bigger than my truck tire last year???? Guess not..lol. (Are we all getting tired of my "animal" stories or no?? lol) Well, I was minding my on business laying on the beach last year when I noticed a huge man-o-war had beached himself and this guy was absolutely huge and they sting like pain you've never felt!! Well, I knew any minute some 10 year old kid would run up to him and torment him with his friggin' tourist family cheering the kid on, so I calmly took my umbrella out of the sand and with the blunt handle of my umbrella, I gently nudged him back out to sea without hurting his fragile, transparent body or long tentacles...I could almost see him sigh with gratefulness (they do breathe, btw) and relief....wow. But it's not about me, it will always be about them in my eyes. If I had children I would be the "protective mommy from he!!" as well, but I don't have kids so I try to protect animals when other's don't give a rat's booty about them other than to abuse and humiliate them in any way they can.
No one will ever abuse an animal wild or not on my watch, though. So, yes..I wouldn't hesitate to give up any relationship/friendship/ or a family member if they tried to make me choose between my pets or my overall love for animals or "them." People (don't) and never have meant that much to me anyway.
Sans | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:40:24 AM |
Off topic, I just find it interesting when pet people state their pets are non judgemental and love thier owners unconditionally
I see this often, as well. I have no clue why, but it simply makes NO sense to me. Nothing in life/love is unconditional. Cheat on your spouse, if found out ~ he/she would probably have some rather conditional opinions on the subject. Pets, well ~ stop feeding them. Kick them around a little and it's a pretty sure bet, you leave the door open ~ they will run off. I'm not saying it's what pet-lovers do, I'm merely making the point that nothing is truly "unconditional."
To the point being discussed that we may treat our pets better than our spouse ~ personal experience has shown me that often times my pets have treated me better than my spouse. I suppose it's a fact, the spouse pees on the carpet ~ he's likely going to be surprised at my response. My pets on the other hand, I'd clean it up and wonder why they just didn't use the doggie door. Regardless, higher on the food chain or not, the dog stays. If Mr. Right for Me isn't a pet person, he's most likely NOT Mr. Right for Me at all. JMO | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:49:05 AM | ^^^^ this thread topic has come up before and always draws a discernably divided crowd.
I'd find it immensely difficult to say bye to one of my dear furrie friends of the animal kingdom, as they do have feelings.
MY dog wept for over 6 weeks at the untimely loss of our cat. They do have feelings, heartbeats, and emotions, and it would be plain cruel for "me" to give up an animal I've sought and dedicated myself to care for.
That's a tough call. I know if love were in the mix, and a person I was enamored with was allergic, I'd have to consider giving up lets for a lifetime.
I'd probably decline to release my pets under those circumstances. I wouldn't know, honestly, if the relationship would stand the test of time, anyway, until further down the road, and by then, and if it didn't, where would I be then? ALone, miserable, and greatly resenting my choices.
ltns, green eyes.... nice seeing you | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:56:31 AM | I am allergic to cats.. somedays I am fine other days its just bad.. I was talking to a woman several months ago and we seemed to hit it off and she wanted me to come over and watch movies and I suggested maybe just for a first time meet we go someplace public because I was allergic and just didnt want to have a problem or reaction for the first time and wreck the first date. She basically told me off and that her cats were staying with her and she can find somebody else. I didnt really understand why she spazzed so badly but things just werent the same and finally I told her I thought things had changed since she went off..
In any case.. I wouldnt give up a pet.. Pets are peoples anchors there like a family member.. I would never ask someone to give up there pet either its not fair.
I just think its sad that pets suffer being dumped because of things like this.. they dont deserve that even if they are just animals. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:57:49 AM |
People have never meant that much to me anyway.
I'm sorry for that, but then you've found a way to cope which makes you happy. Animal lovers are good people, and I'm sure you are.
I was given a 3 year old dog from a woman in my neighborhood going through divorce with 2 kids, trying to get a job and struggling with keeping it all together. The woman was very sad at seeing him go and would come and visit... until she moved a year or so later, she would occasionally take him for an afternoon to visit with her family.
That was the best dog I ever had. He loved me and my family and had a wonderful life... she did the best thing for Ranger for finding someone with more time and energy to give him. He's been gone for 2 years and I still miss him terribly.. but I'm very thankful that this unselfish woman did the right thing for him. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:01:13 AM | To me, a pet that you own comes as part of a package deal; it's unreasonable to expect otherwise. When I find the right cat, they'll be sticking with me no matter where I end up. Ideally, the person I find will like cats just as much as me, and we can enjoy each other's company.
However, I've had an ex who told me on numerous occasions that her birds would always take priority. It's one thing to love a pet, but to tell your boyfriend that he's nothing compared to little Polly or any other bird that might come along? Yeah, that relationship did not last long at all. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:13:01 AM | ^^^Well thank you, Janet..animal lovers are indeed good people, and you are such a love for taking in that dog ..I saw something in your eyes when I viewed your profile.. there is just something just so special about you.. and I just knew that you were kind.. and you did the right thing in taking in that dog. Ranger must have had the best life ever if he had you for a mom...I feel that you are so different in so many ways than how you post sometimes, but life has made you hard as it has all of us...
Yes, us pet people are unique but if you've ever had a child or a pet and the bond that goes along with that, then you'll understand why we're so friggin' adamant about having to make a choice between "them" or a man/woman. There is no choice. My pets and my love for all animals, great and small come first in my life. End of story.
Sans | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:32:07 AM | | I'm not crazy about kids and certainly don't want to be around them 24/7. Would it be okay for a man to give up his kids to date me? Heck no, and I wouldn't even ask him to. I just don't date men who have kids living at home. The same for pets, why would someone who disliked animals date me, a dog owner? There are plenty of people who aren't into animals, go find one of them to date if you don't want to be around them. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:43:21 AM | | My pets definitely come first. If the guy had pets he would feel the same too. Can I say that compromising comes into play once you are having a relationship? I would certainly try to work things out one way or another but not give up my pets or his. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:48:27 AM | Skydancer...Thank you for wanting to help a turtle in need. I'm obviously in a minority, here. Most women on this site are quite frankly "desperate" to find a man and will compromise their core beliefs in order to have a relationship. I won't, and I'm not willing to "settle" for what I don't want. I don't have to..I'm perfectly happy being single without having to "choose" between my pets or the relationship from hell.
It's quite simple, actually. If a potential suitor hates my cats, then I hate him. If he hates dogs/lizards/snakes/sharks/starfish/hamsters/ferrets/goldfish/raccoons/snails/bees/polar bears/monkeys/jellyfish/moose/ ..or any other wildlife..then we simply aren't a match. And I may not have little children, but if a man hates them as well, then he simply isn't for me. To me, children are like kittens and everyone that knows me knows how strongly I feel about children as well as animals...my pets ARE my children and I won't be coerced into having to make a "choice" when it involves my animals or my love for them in any way, shape or form. My choice will always be my children... no matter if they have 2 legs, 4 legs, 6 legs, a dorsal fin, or 8 poisonous tentacles.
Not sure what's going on with the paragraphing and tab stops here, but I hope you guys can decipher my post.
Sans | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:27:48 PM | | janet4ever you rock girl-you have common sense, i agree.dancecard funny stories i can relate too.&sanschele sorry girl, u may be nice,but i meant sick and that"s what it is,if that apply to you so be it, theres all kind of sickness in life, i"ve been sick before and went to doctors-here im speaking of the body, but people go to all types of others for other illness-smoking is a sickness(i used to smoke) the first step is admitting it(like they say in aa) no never been, so for you that like pets over humans i hope u get help.and sanschele how do u know i dont have pets, and all of you for that matter? | |
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