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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:55:19 PM | Give up my two lovable house muttz? Oh hell no! They are like my kids and we are a family and whoever I date would have to understand that first and foremost. If ya cannot love my kids how can ya love me?  | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:14:25 PM |
It also depends on how much you value that human relationship. If it's something that you're willing to give up the love of your life, for a pet... well sorry, but I think that's rather pathetic, but hey that's my opinion
Like I said, the relationship would not get that far. And yeah I know all of the animal lovers that actually take care of our pets are pathetic. That's ok. I'm not having a pissing contest with you. I've stated what I wanted to say, you stated what you wanted to say.  | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:43:11 PM | Yesterday a friend of mine had to give up her cat (she found a very good home) because her boy friend is very allergic
You really do not want to have stronger relationships with your pet than you would with another human being.
That being said, I think most people who take care of pets are quite committed to their companions. If they are single and meet a potential lover, I'd think a person who is interested in a relationship with a pet owner shouldn't pursue the relationship if they have to deliver an ultimatum--the pet or me. They really shouldn't go there.
Personally I wouldn't pursue a relationship with a woman who has a pet I'm allergic to, or a pet who dislikes me for some reason. Her giving up the pet would make me feel awkward. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:08:50 AM | | Wow my post was deleted, to the person i responded to, some people know what you wrote.we went from pets /foreigners in this country.well i wont say more because some people cant handle the truth/remember to those of you who deleted the posts was HER who showed what she thought of foreigners( I was born here) and i like foreigners | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:57:19 AM | Hi All,
On June 18th Dr. Phil did a show about pet owners who go overboard. I saw only part of the show. The part I saw featured a woman who clothes her dog and refers to it as her child.
Woman says, "Spot (?) is my child."
Dr Phil say's, "Spot is a dog."
Woman say's "I never had any children, so spot is my child. "
View of audience shows people laughing, rolling their eyes, shaking their head in disapproval of the woman.
Dr. Phil more forcefully says, "Spot is a dog."
View of audience shows people nodding their head in agreement with Dr. Phil.
Camera swings back to woman who now looks uncomfortable. I'm feeling sorry for the woman and wondering what was she thinking when she decided to come on the show.
Dr. Phil goes on to lecture the woman and paint a bleak picture of those who place such high value on pets. In summary he said people put such devotion into pets because it is safe and easy. It's a way for them to avoid the difficulties and complications of having relationships with people. Some overboard pet owners have had BAD experiences at the hands of people.
If that's true, perhaps Dr. Phil should have cut the woman some slack. If you get a chance, you may want to watch the show if it comes on again no matter which side of the "relationship-versus-pet" fence you are on.
Good fishing to all.
Sincerely,
Timothy | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:33:24 AM | | Well as I point out in my profile I run a senior/special needs dog rescue so better like some dog hair. Is it a question of the jealousy aspect of the attention going elsewhere instead of all of it being directed at the respective person and their ego? Would be curious that idea. Thanks | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:09:48 AM | Many pet-owners choose their animals over human relationships because (for the most part) their pets has been around a lot longer than any potential mate. Relationships with a partner seem to come and go in greater numbers these days so it's not surprising that pet-owners feel the way they do. However, I don't believe that a pet-owner would regard their pets as above family relationships with mother and father. They do see that love of a pet is a different kind of love than the love of a parent or partner. Non-pet owners who become enamoured with someone who has pets must realize that they cannot ask for their partners to give up their pets. Such a request would bring about sadness and resentment. True love does not seek ultimatums ... only some compromises from both partners ... and compromising doesn't mean surrendering either. So before judging/bashing anyone on here for choosing their pets over a human, ask for their whole story first.
Why ask for the whole story? if you want compassion/help etc, ask for it
Without knowing their whole story, you're simply attacking mere words that have been said on the forums. Those words can be harsh coming from a pet-owner because they feel they must defend themselves from posters such as yourself. I don't think pet-owners are on here seeking your compassion or help ... no??
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:17:45 AM | | Why ask for the whole story? if you want compassion/help etc, ask for it.hopefully some will give it to the one in need.As soon someone express their opinion (sometimes we can be a tad bit harsh) when someone speaks up in this subject or other issues some people go off the handle, lets listen to Dr Phil, Tim has a good points.Some of us already know the story thats why we tryed (in vain) to jar some of you from your statements. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:08:53 AM | As this thread relates to my own story and why I would never give up my pets ... from the dogs I grew up with as a child and young adult to the many ferrets I've shared time and space with as an adult ... every single animal that has ever been a part of my life has come too me through adoption from a shelter or by my taking on the responsibilities of pet ownership because someone else didn't feel that they needed be actively engaged with that burden, any longer.
Each of my animals, which at some time during their lives before me, was UNWANTED ... each of those animals has brought me so much joy, shown me unconditional love and provided unfaltering companionship even as they were casually tossed to the curb / turned over to a shelter / abandoned outright by their previous owners because the animals were no longer convenient. I will never enable that kind of behavior to continue so far as it concerns my beloved animals. In bringing them in too my home and into my life, I have made a life long commitment.
I am equally committed to those PEOPLE in my life ... my ability and willingness to nurture, love and care for people AND animals is what defines me. It should never be a situation of either / or ... if someone who wanted to be involved with me and my life ever presented that ultimatum ... well, they wouldn't be right for me ...
jeffery | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:51:12 PM |
Each of my animals, which at some time during their lives before me, was UNWANTED ... each of those animals has brought me so much joy, shown me unconditional love and provided unfaltering companionship even as they were casually tossed to the curb / turned over to a shelter / abandoned outright by their previous owners because the animals were no longer convenient. I will never enable that kind of behavior to continue so far as it concerns my beloved animals. In bringing them in too my home and into my life, I have made a life long commitment.
I am equally committed to those PEOPLE in my life ... my ability and willingness to nurture, love and care for people AND animals is what defines me. It should never be a situation of either / or ... if someone who wanted to be involved with me and my life ever presented that ultimatum ... well, they wouldn't be right for me ...
That's exactly what I'm saying. You shouldn't have to choose. That's part of compatibility to me. I would never ask someone to give up their pet for me. The whole package has to be compatible. It's just one of the things that I would not want to change, just because someone else thinks I should. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:12:29 PM | Dr. Phil goes on to lecture the woman and paint a bleak picture of those who place such high value on pets. In summary he said people put such devotion into pets because it is safe and easy. It's a way for them to avoid the difficulties and complications of having relationships with people. Some overboard pet owners have had BAD experiences at the hands of people.
Timothy, not all animal lovers posting to this thread feel that way. I have never put clothes on a pet other than a sweater on a dog during winter, but that was for warmth, not fashion. I don't agree with dressing animals in clothes, as it seems exploitative to me. I have not once stated that my pets are my children; I already have children. My pets are my pets, but they are a permanent part of my family, as I believe adopting a pet is a lifelong commitment. This doesn't mean I don't have relationships with people. Jeff said it best:
I am equally committed to those PEOPLE in my life ... my ability and willingness to nurture, love and care for people AND animals is what defines me. It should never be a situation of either / or ... if someone who wanted to be involved with me and my life ever presented that ultimatum ... well, they wouldn't be right for me ...
Exactly, Jeff. Very well said. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:54:13 PM |
Timothy, not all animal lovers posting to this thread feel that way. I have never put clothes on a pet other than a sweater on a dog during winter, but that was for warmth, not fashion. I don't agree with dressing animals in clothes, as it seems exploitative to me. I have not once stated that my pets are my children; I already have children. My pets are my pets, but they are a permanent part of my family, as I believe adopting a pet is a lifelong commitment. This doesn't mean I don't have relationships with people. Jeff said it best:
Really, what's so hard to understand about that? I'd like to see someone put a sweater on one of my cats. lol... No, they are not my children, just my babies. I feel that way, because they are defenseless, kind of like babies, they just don't know any better than to trust other people, who are out to do them harm. Believe me, you can have a loving relationship with someone, and have your pets too. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:23:26 PM |
before I married my husband he would take my german shepard around town with him in his truck, we took the dog everywhere, she slept in the house, was a good dog. We got married and all of a sudden he was a jerk to my beloved and loyal pet, he would call her dumb and even would throw a fit when the weather turned below freezing and he tried to keep her outside. He lost that battle, the dog was way more loyal that he could EVER imagine to be. The dog won.
OMG, that's kind of scary... Not to mention weird. And they say women change after they're married | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:05:39 PM | Aww I would never give up my furbabies for anyone!! If someone doesn't love dogs, or is allergic to them, that right there is a deal breaker.
My furbabies have been with me through so many ups and downs, their unconditional love and companionship is priceless. People who don't love animals, just simply don't understand.
My oldest furbaby, I got with my ex. He came across all "I love dogs" etc, but once we got her, and she lived at his place, it became very clear his ideas on what loving a pet are, where very different to mine. He used to yell and scream at her when she was a puppy because when he got up in the morning, naturally, she had gone to the toilet. Hello! That's why they need training, yelling and screaming at them for doing something natural ain't going to encourage them to learn. Poor baby. We ended up break up, not for that reason, although it didn't help, and thankfully I got "custody" of her!! I didn't realise just how cruel he had been to her until she lived with me full time and I saw her cringe if I lifted my hand to reach for something, he had obviously been hitting her. Breaks my heart.
I think people who love animals are also generally very loving people in general.
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:16:46 PM | If you have to make a decision between a human that you love and an animal....then you have only one decision.
If you are unwilling to choose the obviously correct one...then you really have no business being in a relationship. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:23:44 PM | | I gave up my cat for my child due to allergies but I would never in a million years give up my lab for a guy no matter how into him I might be. I can't even begin to imagine how much I'd resent him for it later if I did it. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:23:44 PM |
If you have to make a decision between a human that you love and an animal....then you have only one decision.
If you are unwilling to choose the obviously correct one...then you really have no business being in a relationship.
Correction: If you have to make a decision between a human that you love and an animal....then you have only one decision ~ to kick the person attempting to put you in that position to the curb!
If you are unwilling to choose the obviously correct one (finding the right person for you)...then you really have no business being in a relationship with anyone who doesn't value animals.
There, all better. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:59:43 PM | ^^^^^
Happy now??
Honestly, I could care less.
Anybody that would even argue about something so basic is showing that they aren't even relationship material,much less ready for a relationship.
I personally wouldn't even date a woman that put the needs of her pets before me,...forget getting seriously involved w/ her.
That is....unless the animals were genuinely ill or dying.
Other than that...there are too many women out there w/ no pets ...or a more realistic attitude.... to make somebody obsessed w/ their pets even a serious candidate.
Fortunately women like thatstill outnumber the "pet mommies" by a wide margin.
I guess that's was 3) | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:15:59 PM |
Other than that...there are too many women out there w/ no pets ...or a more realistic attitude.... to make somebody obsessed w/ their pets even a serious candidate.
Fortunately women like thatstill outnumber the "pet mommies" by a wide margin.
Well, then why are you in here arguing? Get on with the ones that don't have pets, or if they do, don't give a shit about them. Get on down the road and find those that don't have pets. Simple, really. Good luck. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:31:17 PM | Tell me...is that animal that you've place above a relationship with a flesh and blood human going to:
Who said I place my animals above relationships with humans? Certainly not I. All I have said is that anyone who doesn't value animals wouldn't be a good match for me. There's no reason I can't have my pets and a relationship too ~ been doing it all my adult life. It's a non-issue. I haven't told you you're not relationship material just because you feel differently. Now move along and find some other forum where you can troll and make personal attacks on those whose views differ from your own.
Next! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:15:23 AM | | Right now I have had my dog for twelve years. If someone I meet or had met been so rude to say my dog had to go, I would be rude enough to sleep with them, zip up my zipper, and tell them they needed to go. And not to let the door hit them in the Azzz on the way out. That is not something you do. Now if it is a pet you akquired together and it is not being cared for then the unresponsible person should give up the pet. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:13:17 AM | For those who are interested, here's the transcript from the Dr. Phil segment I refer to above.
Name of show -- My Big, Fat, Spoiled Family Member
Name of show segment -- Doggie Doting
Pam says she loves to spoil her pet dog, Pie Boy. She buys him designer doggie duds, chews his food for him and even gave Pie Boy his own pet dog! Her ex-roommate, David, says Pam's pampered pooch is the reason he moved out.
Pam says. “This boy’s feet never touch the ground. My ex-roommate, David, moved out of the apartment because of Pie Boy.”
“I’ve tried many times to warm up to Pie Boy,” David says. “Pie Boy hates me. Every time I come near Pie Boy, he growls."
“I buy Pie Boy clothing, toys, anything that he wants,” Pam admits. “Over the past five years, I’ve spent about $10,000. I buy him designer doggie clothes. Pink is his color, don’t you think?” she asks, as Pie Boy models a baby-pink sweater.
Pie Boy is so spoiled, he even has his own pet! “Lizzy is my other dog, and she’s Pie Boy’s pet dog,” Pam says. “I don’t spoil Lizzy, but she is a dog, and I treat her like a dog. This is my baby.” Pam says sometimes she'll even sleep on the floor and give Pie Boy her bed.
“Pie Boy gets his teeth brushed every day, and he gets a massage every night. We watch TV together, but I don’t let him watch anything violent, anything that might give him nightmares from all the bad, mean things in the world. He loves going to the drive-thru, and he always gets the same thing. Usually he gets a plain hamburger. I have to chew his food for him.”
“What Pam does with the dog biscuits is absolutely disgusting,” David says. “She chews the dog biscuit because she’s afraid that Pie Boy might choke on it.”
“It’s my right to love, to shower my affection, my attention and my money on anything or anyone I want, and I’m damned sick of people complaining about me spoiling him,” Pam says. “Dr. Phil, I can’t wait for you to meet Pie Boy. When you look into his beautiful brown eyes, you’re going to fall in love with him just the way I did.”
Dr. Phil smiles at Pie Boy, then asks Pam, “So, you’re serious?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Pam says.
“You bought him an outfit for the show?”
“I bought him a few outfits for the show, and this is the one he chose,” Pam says.
Dr. Phil asks about Pie Boy’s teeth. “Have you not taken him to the dentist?”
“I took him to the dentist,” Pam explains. “Here’s the thing: I will not take him to a dentist who will put him out to clean his teeth, so I took him to a special dentist who wouldn’t put him out. I brought him in there, and he wanted to put braces on him, and I couldn’t see putting braces on my sweet, little baby.”
“No, that would be ridiculous, and you don’t want to be ridiculous,” Dr. Phil says with a smile. He asks about Pam covering Pie Boy’s eyes and ears to shield him from violent images on television. “Because you think he’s smart enough to know?” he guesses.
“Of course. I don’t want him to think this is a bad world he’s growing up in,” Pam says.
“He’s a dog!” Dr. Phil points out.
“He’s my son,” she argues.
“He’s a dog,” Dr. Phil says. “You think he’s smart enough to know what’s going on on television? If this dog laid on his back and peed in his own face, he wouldn’t know where it was coming from!”
“And your point is?” Pam asks.
Dr. Phil turns to David. “You lived with this for six years. What finally pushed you over the edge? Was it her chewing up the dog biscuit and spitting it in the dog’s mouth?”
“No. I think [it was] the fact that I wasn’t allowed to bring any medicine, aspirin, Tylenol into the house because she was afraid that I would drop it and Pie Boy might eat it. I couldn’t bring chicken into the house because she said the bones might be eaten by Pie Boy,” David explains.
“You never put him down. How’s he going to get a chicken bone?” Dr. Phil asks Pam.
“No, no, no. He walks around the apartment. His feet have never touched the ground outside. Feel these hands,” she says.
Dr. Phil does so, pointing out, “These are paws." He asks why her other dog is not spoiled.
“My other dog is my dog,” she says simply.
“And this is your …?”
“Son.”
“Here’s the thing. I’ve got a dog. I love our dog. She travels everywhere with me. But she’s a dog,” Dr. Phil says, showing a picture of the family pet, Maggie.
“Yeah, that is a dog,” Pam says. “Pie Boy’s my son. This is my child.”
“Do you think this gets in the way of other relationships?” Dr. Phil asks.
“Yes, it absolutely does," Pam admits.
“Here’s the thing, and it may not matter to you at this point," Dr. Phil tells her. "This is a really safe relationship. When people get over invested in animals — and I love animals. I’m a huge animal advocate — but when people get over invested in them, it’s usually because it’s easy. There’s no demand. You don’t have to be smart. You don’t have to be interactive. You just have to be. As long as you feed them, they’ll follow you anywhere, right?”
“No. We’re interactive,” she argues.
“But don’t you think it’s keeping you from having a human adult relationship that might bring you rewards?” Dr. Phil asks.
“No, absolutely not,” Pam says. “This relationship is unconditional love. It brings me more rewards than any human could ever bring me. This is someone and something that loves me no matter what I do, no matter what I am, no matter what.”
“That’s right, and you could have that and a human relationship,” Dr. Phil points out.
“But the human relationship would interfere with my relationship with him,” she says.
Dr. Phil pauses for a moment, then says, “I think you should stick with it."
“I think you’re right, Dr. Phil,” she says. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:44:35 AM | LOL... yes that is very extreme. But I don't think anyone on here has posted anything close to that.
That’s right, and you could have that and a human relationship,” Dr. Phil points out
And I think the animal lovers on here have also been trying to say the same thing. No one is saying they can't have a relationship with a human, but the human must also love pets, or at least respect the fact that you do, and accept them.
There's all degrees of love, the love you have for your parent, child, friends, mate, pets, they are all different, but it doesn't make it any less. If someone doesn't care about me enough to know what pain I would experience in giving up my pets, then they just aren't the person for me. That's all. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:20:07 AM |
But if you fall in love with a human, and you said you don't love animals more than humans, wouldn't this human be worth the lifelong commitment? Over kitty?
But with the kitty (and in my case pooch), I'm already guaranteed a lifelong commitment. Obviously its not the same kind of commitment, but with a human there ARE no guarantees, just hope. | |
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