| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:32:21 AM | Well I love my hamster, goldfish and litten but that pie boys owner sounds like a ****ing nut case!!
A woman at my old job had a cat, and it was knocked down and died and she made such a song and dance about it that she took off a month of paid compassionate leave to deal with her trauma. Guess how much time I got off when my brother hanged himself? Fack all! Clearly not furry enough! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:58:20 AM | Can I give up someone or something I love for an other...?
Compromise, someway, somehow, so the answer would be no until all avenues are exhausted. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:05:05 PM | | I wouldn't give up my pets, they are my babies..then again, I know I'm an animal person and when I adopt a pet I'm making a commitment to care for that pet for the rest of their life. I've not gotten involved with people based on the fact they're allergic to my cats, because I know I won't give them up, but that's just me. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:45:05 AM | | After reading some more of the posts in here, I really have to wonder... I'll use myself as an example. If a man told me that I had to get rid of even one of my pets, what else is he going to want me to give up? Where do you draw the line? What if he doesn't like one of my friends and wants me to cease all communication with that person? Then what if he doesn't like my sister? Hell, if I gave up my pet and my friend, well why stop there? Having to give up any living creature (be it a pet or another human) is a dangerous game. I can understand that pets aren't everyone's cup of tea and I respect that however I think most "pet people" expect the same respect in return. On another note, I really have to wonder at someone giving up a pet for someone. I would tend to think that such a person would not hesitate to give up a current partner for someone else at the drop of a hat. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 1:52:07 PM | Pets are not disposable.
This is one of the reasons I mention in my profile that I am allergic to cats. I like cats, and I can take medications to try and minimize my allergy to them, but I will never be able to sleep on a bed where they have been laying (without making a trip to the ER the next morning to pry my eyes open), and chances are the cat owner would have to tirelessly clean up after said kitty if I am to spend longer than an hour or two at his place.
It's only fair to let a guy with cats know that I'm probably not going to be the easiest match in the world for him. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:33:13 PM |
Which I think will last longer than this relationship. What do all of you think? could you give up you pet of a mate?
Bonds between humans and animals is generally strong because of unselfish love, I believe. She could have benefited discussing about the cat before the relationship started. Now that she is in a relationship, she has the choice of seeing if her boyfriend can control his allergies somehow (I believe he should try his best!) or choosing between one. It comes to individual choices and future plans. Personally, I would prefer finding someone that likes my pet. | |
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| Your Pet or your relationship...
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:11:33 PM | When I decided to include a dog in my life, I thought about it in a very constructive way. How it may affect my life, such as my work hours, my social life and finances.
It was a decision arrived by logic and love together....to assume the responsibilty of being a guardian to another being; for life.
Any person that I date would share that same vision of responsibilty and compassion, there could be no alternative. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:16:07 PM | | My pets are precious family, and nothing can be done about that. They are no less important than any other member. I would specifically avoid dating anyone with an allergy. I have three cats. They're my babies. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:16:18 PM | | I would not give up my pet, friend, and buddy who has been with me for years because of a relationship. I would hope if someone has issues with animals they would be upfront from the beginning so we don't waste each others time. I would worry about a guy who actually thought it would be OK for me to give my dog, who I consider part of my Life, for him. Besides, people who have allergies have options besides expecting someone they supposedly care about to give up their pet. Her boyfriend should go to his doctor or her vet and ask about things they could do so he could help her keep her cat IMHO. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:00:38 PM | I have allergies too. I always take that into consideration when veiwing a profile. I know I cant live with cats and really dont care to live with dogs. Many, Many men have pics of animals on their profiles , So that instantly puts up a red flag to me. But.... I dont always rule them out, What if they are " Mr Right" who would give up his pet for the love of a good woman.....But I had simply passed them by. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:29:25 PM | I would NEVER give up my pets for a guy and don't think that anyone should have to. Pets are part of the family.
Actually, I was in a five year relationship (lived together for two years) and he was severly allergic. He took Reactin and had a special allergy shot from the doctor once a month. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:35:10 PM | I know there are 16 pages of this thread .....And I have NOT read it........However.........ANYBODY WHO IS ASKED TO GIVE UP A LOVED ONE.....FOR ANYBODY.....Needs to stop and think about WHO they are.....HOW they want to live their life....AND what they stand for!!!
You are right ......the relationship she has had with her cat......will have lasted longer than the relationship....with this guy...!!!!
If she has been asked to give up a loved one...than this guy is not for her. It may take a while to figure out...But it will unfold in time.
NEVER GIVE UP ANYTHING IMPORTANT TO YOU..............ESPECIALLY .......... A LIFE .....!!!!!!! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:15:08 PM | I didn't see where the OP suggests the woman was obligated at the demands or even request of her boyfriend... or that it was due to allergies.
Even among animal lovers, there may be circumstances that make moving in together difficult. I have a dog, what if he has a cat and my dog wants to chase and terrorize him all day? Or if he has a male dog and they both decide to be the alpha... there are lots of situations where a free will choice of finding a more appropriate living arrangement for a pet may be in order.
In my mind, it would be very, very difficult. But not impossible in the right situation. Finding a loving home with someone I know would be the only way to go if it ever came to that. But yes, I "could" put my relationship in a higher priority than my pet. But only if "I" feel it is necessary -- never if someone demands or coerces me into it. I wouldn't be with someone like that. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:24:09 PM | Where do you live to own a gorilla?
I see this as a sign of "control", he makes a decision and that's final.
No where in your thread did you state, we talked about it and how to perhaps find a way to solve the issue, ie) Enclosed Catery, confined to certain rooms, vacum every day to oliminate minute cat hair, etc, etc...
There are ways to ease allergies and in my opinion, what you have when you meet someone is what you have, not to be ditched because it doesn't suit.
That to me, states other things will in-deed be ditched as well, as time goes by, it will stem into other areas. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 12:09:31 AM | If the pet was there first, why did she get involved with someone that is so highly allergic? It's not rocket science. Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't imagine not being able to work out some reasonable solution that doesn't involve giving up your pet(s).
In most cases, I'd suspect there are deeper issues afoot. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:53:11 AM | No I wouldnt give up my pet. (Blue German Shep named Harley :P)
I couldnt date someone who doesnt like animals either.
I just dont get it.
I love animals, I coo over dogs in the street rather than babies lol
I want someone who isnt afraid to get dirty playing with the dog or taking him out for a walk.
Nope, the dog stays. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:12:21 AM | I have loved and trained animals all of my life..
But mine died of old age and I DO NOT want another animal unless she is a WOMAN.!!!
So I say to all, You must Decide which is most important to you...
Do you want a MATE or a pet ???
Some people get lucky and can have both, but, which one of them is more important to you?
After you make this choice.. Don't try to force your decisions on anyone else. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:30:42 AM | Someone said if they met their soulmate or true love, then they would give up their pet.
My soulmate would be someone that loved my cats.
Seriously, I would be in a serious depression if I gave away my little grey ball of fur.
No woman is worth me giving up someone or something I love.
Giving up my cats? It's not even an option. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:38:27 AM | | Could never give up my dog and cat..not even an issue. I would tell her my pets and I are a package deal!! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:26:04 AM | | I agree with a lot of the other posters on here - the question would never come up as I would never consider dating guys who are allergic or don't like animals. My pets and I are a package deal! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:50:48 AM | the pet haters as in they sure nuff would KILL a HUMAN BEING if it was pet over human.
Dunno about that D/S.
I think we're getting mixed up here - if I was *in* an existing relationship, loved my partner, they chose to be with me *with* my pets, and my partner got sick and the pet(s) were an issue, you bet I would stick by them and if need be find a new (*good*) home for my pet(s). (which, at that point would really be "our" pets in an established relationship).
But, if we are talking a *new* relationship, and someone is demanding I get rid of my pets for them, I think not. I'm willing to discuss it, but 'them or me' as a demand is a no-go. Especially not my almost-14y/o w/ cancer (on chemo) - realistically he's only got maybe a year (or two?), who would adopt him anyways? Sorry, thats a commitment to stick with him (as I would stand by my SO if they were sick), and if it meant losing a 'date/new-relationship' because they couldn't deal with it for a year or so (knock on wood), so be it - I wouldn't abandon my aging/dying pet anymore than I would abandon my aging/dying partner in an *established* relationship. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:10:36 AM | | Gotta agree with Msg: 396 and that is correct my two dogs and I are a package deal. If ya cannot have the love for pets how can ya have the basic love for your fellow humans as well. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:17:21 PM | | Relationships come and go. Your pets will be there for you when you are picking up the pieces. People know that you have pets when they meet you and think you will magically give them up when they want to control the situation. Pets are like children and we obligated ourselves to take care of them when we adopted them. Anyone that thinks a person should get rid of animals is not the type of person to bother with. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:26:21 PM | | I have been talking to a guy for quite awhile, as just friends. Recently he wanted to change it into a relationship. I asked what he thought of pets, dogs, cats, and other. He is highly allergic to cats. So, due to that I told him it could not happen, so yes, I picked my pets. I've had them 7 and 11 years, and I wouldn't give them up, for a maybe relationship. | |
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