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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:05:29 PM | I'm glad you posted this question.. this has been a huge concern of mine for a while now.
I have a dog, she's 13 but I am highly allergic to cats, one hour in a house with cats and I'm sick for 3 days. A cat touches me, and I'm instantly itchy in that spot, I really try to stay away from them. the problem is that the men that I have met so far have a cat, this greatly concerns me, because that would limit or hinder a relationship. I would never ask the man to get rid of their cat for me, nor would I be willing to get rid of my dog, the thought brings me to tears. That means that as long as he has a cat, we could never live together, what kind of a relationship would it be if it never evolved to that? or how long could it possibly last!
For the person that posted on antihistamines, have you ever had an allergy? I can take antihistamines, but if I lived with a cat, those would only work for a short period of time, and actually it would get to the point of having to get allergy shots, and that might not even be enough. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:06:46 PM | This brings up the Dog-person vs. Cat-person debate. People are very much like the pets they own. Women with no pets or who have cats are usually more approachable and easier to forge a future with. Those with dogs...forget it, they treat their dogs better than most of the people in their lives. I cant tell you how many guys Ive heard talk about how their girlfriend's dog always got more attention then the man, and Ive been through it a couple of times myself as well.
If youre a dog lover, youll get along better with other dog lovers. If youre a cat person, you tend to blend more easily. Either way, I dont think anyone should give up a pet for the sake of a relationship. But if one person has a dog and the other a cat, it would be an interesting mix to see happen. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:15:46 PM | Women with no pets or who have cats are usually more approachable and easier to forge a future with.
I always had cats because I know them better (I had them growing up), they don't hang on you (not a fan of neediness) but one or two have backfired on me and been clingy to an extent, and because they are less responsibility (I can come and go easier as I please) because they aren't piggish and they are relatively clean so they can go a couple days with a full supply of water, food and clean litterboxes. Get two and they bother each other and you don't have to give them much attention unless you're in the mood to.
Granted let me say this again - any man (or woman) who feels they are in direct competition with a cat, dog or anything else (child, job, friends, vehicle, alone time) has some issues. If you feel you're getting less attention than someone's dog, basically it could be because you need to find more things to do with your free time...relationships aren't supposed to be so someone else can entertain you. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:17:37 PM | Those with dogs...forget it, they treat their dogs better than most of the people in their lives.
PLEASE....You don't know anything about people with dogs, it has nothing to do with your animal. I love all animals... I just happen to be allergic to cats.. and cats love me, and always want to cuddle with me!! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:13:33 PM | If you want someone to change thier lifestyle then you probably aren't for them in the first place. Asking someone to do this is like asking them to change who they are and that probably won't work in the end. Asking them to give up an animal would almost be like asking them to give up thier kids, it ain't right no matter what way you look at it. Love means accepting someone for who they are and all that comes in the package as far as i'm concerned.  | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:24:02 PM | If your pet is your best friend , that's says to me, " a very misguided personality" anyone with a 3lb engine that works correctly should agree. I love animals, but they can't replace people. Have a nice night.
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 6:33:11 PM | | A pet is attached to you, like a child, I would not just give one away unless I knew it was going to a good home and was happy in that home. I don't care for comments like a man is more important than a pet, etc., it's nothing against the men, it's that I would not give up my children to be with a man, so why would I give up an animal that loves me and depends on me being there for them? I would never expect a man to give up his pet for me, if we don't mesh, pets/kids/likes/dislikes what's the point of the relationship? Having a pet is a responsibility, it's not a disposable object to be forgotten. In most cases I think tossing aside your beloved pet for a man/woman smells of desperation and would make me wonder how easily I could be tossed out. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 6:39:58 PM | | I am with you Ally... I have had my Mr.Beans the cat for 7 years. He was a buddy when I was ill as well, not my family. Its a package deal. Chances are, the pet is or will be more loyal then a mate. Thats not the rule, but the numbers. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 9:39:53 PM | Hi 6sense,
In my book, there's no comparison between people and animals. People come first. So I'd find a good home for my pet if my gal couldn't live comfortably with it. I would do it gladly and without resentment, and I wouldn't wait to be asked because some people will never ask.
In my experience, you gain things from being in a relationship, and you lose things. This is a sacrifice I'd make out of love and concern for my gal's well being and my respect for our relationship.
Sincerely,
Timothy. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 9:49:33 PM | If we share the true Love unconditional, and foregoing bond that resides within forever, then we would bring no secrets into our future.
She should have mentioned the kitty up front, OR; He should have mentioned his allergy there-in. Either way, a communication gap has been met, and I believe the answer lies within kitty's best friend. For otherwise, a union precious will be discarded, for a lesser.
Our bond with mother nature shouldn't be restricted to such demise. To Love, or not; unconditionally is the key, and communication thereof relies on the participants, with due respect to each and every.
If I met someone that wouldn't accept Bratbaby, then my connection with them would be haltered and restricted. I WILL not, nor would I get rid of her because of a new relationship. For my relationship with Bratbaby was born first, and she deserves that from me.
She wouldn't do it to me.....
God Bless,
Scott.
If you have any respect for yourself, your heart, or the heart and well being of others, you will not exclude them from your future on such notions.
(Respectfully) | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 9:52:42 PM | | I can't imagine giving up my cat. It would be crushing. Maybe to a family member nearby. That's all I could do and it would still be sad. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 9:56:56 PM | Im really amazed at the folks that would get rid of their animals for a relationship...My dog is part of my family and my kids baby...This is a lame thread...
misguided personality...Oh cmon!...
Im not even saying anymore...Animals give so much to the old, lonely, sad and little children...Lame thread...Im out | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:10:02 PM | I'd never ask someone to give up their pet(s), it's presumptuous and would only cause later resentment.
But having said that, I simply do not understand those who put animals over people. I like animals in nature...where they belong. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:17:14 PM | But having said that, I simply do not understand those who put animals over people. I like animals in nature...where they belong.
Hence my point.
Are YOU not in nature?? Where you belong??
I don't believe in putting ANY being above another. But then again, some beings deserve to be considered more deserving. Be it an animal or person.
Empathy is in play here. No disrespect or titles insinuated.
Point taken, Thank you.
God Bless.
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 4:46:23 AM | Leagueofextrordiarymen, you don't know what you are talking about. And neither do most "experts," from what I can tell. I might "feed" my cat, but he doesn't know it, because his food comes from an automatic feeder that I refill every few weeks, when it runs low. When I come home from work, he's like the "meowing" version of one of those little yappy dogs. He runs around in circles and follows me around crying till I sit down and cuddle him for a minute. He's like a baby that needs attention or he's not going to hush till he gets it.
When Boots got out and some neighbors dogs got hold of him, he got away from them and ran under the crawl space of my house. I have some pretty bad claustrophobia, but I slid on my belly all the way up to where my stomach was on the ground and my house was sitting on my back (I break out in a sweat just remembering) to drag him out and get him to the vet so they could save my baby. I didn't care what it cost, this cat has been with me through some rough stuff and he's never let me down. Again, there's no man alive I can say the same for.
This won't be a problem for me, because I will only get into a relationship with someone who doesn't have a problem with cats. I have never in my life been without one, and I can't ever see a time when I won't have one. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 4:53:44 AM | | As one who is horribly allergic to cats, I don't even contact a man who states in his profile that has one. There is no way I would ever come between a pet owner and his pet, so I just don't start something that can't be. | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:02:09 AM | Amazing....
In my book, there's no comparison between people and animals. People come first. So I'd find a good home for my pet if my gal couldn't live comfortably with it. I would do it gladly and without resentment, and I wouldn't wait to be asked because some people will never ask.
Why don't you just find your pet a good home now? I mean you're going to meet someone who may not ask and you're all set to do so...so in anticipation why not assume for the sake of the relationship that you'll have in the future clear your house of pets? That way it's one less thing to worry about when the time comes. Why draw the line elsewhere?
If you have a pet now it does NOT come before someone you haven't met yet. If this is your attitude - WHY have one? I never got this. If you'd send a pet off for someone new you're dating - why on earth have one to begin with? Don't traumatize some animal that was minding their own business with your personal issues. Pets should not lose a home because you're dating. If they can, they shouldn't even be there.
In my experience, you gain things from being in a relationship, and you lose things. This is a sacrifice I'd make out of love and concern for my gal's well being and my respect for our relationship.
Unfortunately, seeing pets as "things" is a problem. And I guess that the sacrifice of trust that the pet places in you doesn't matter at all huh? I guess since they can't talk, you can't hear that you're messing their lives up to make things convenient, so you don't have to feel bad.
A pet is like a child in that it's a lifelong commitment that you should see thru till the end. If you cannot promise to take care of them for life, PLEASE don't adopt them in the first place. It's a waste of everyone's time, especially that pet.
Anyone that would get rid of a pet for an SO has issues, and anyone who would ask an SO to do so has issues as well. Can't people who don't like/can't be around pets just date each other? | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:42:14 AM | ^^^^^ I agree with most of what you are saying, why be involved with someone that has pets, but during that time a family member falls ill due to a sickness and can no longer be around animals ,we know what the outcome would be a new home for the pet.
MSG 115, but I do know what I'm talking about, During Katrina do you know how many people did not want their pets back, do you know how many dogs my team had to put down, thousands, because they were abandoned, some people were told to leave their pets behind, they didn't want to but they did. So much for all that love and being a member of the family. Do you realise once the dog rescue started, they were saving dogs, while people were stuck and starving, that just wrong. That's fanatical thinking of the extreme kind. Do you think I enjoyed going by a house that had starving pets to rescue people, that was very hard, but the right thing to do.
My uncle is one of the leading people in animal behavioral sciences(Dogs), that is were I draw my info from.
I see many people making a feeble attempt to pull on heart strings,but again how much money are you willing spend to save your pets life, would you give up your house ,your car, no , but you would for a family member.
For the pet lovers, you have to make a choice your Dog or you Hamster!!!! Psyc 101 you love your dog ,but your children love their Hamster!!!! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:54:19 AM | re opost 117:
"...Unfortunately, seeing pets as "things" is a problem...."
I agree 100%, pets (animals) are not things, they are living entities.
But equating with or putting other living creatures above human beings - fellow humans is IMO a (sociological ??) problem as well.
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re the Opost:
A pet is not owned or has a "master" either, an animal has a right to choose to be free, as well as human!
That is why I do not believe in the "pet" concept, be it animal or human!
Respect for animals, yes by all means, but Humans and inter-human rels uber alles! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:05:36 AM | She GAVE UP Her Cat?? for a ' b o y f r i e n d ' ?!?    H*ll no i woulnd't give up my Pet(s) for a guy, and i Would NOT expect Him to........ so sad.... i wish her well, (tell her to get Her Cat Back...)   | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:18:38 AM |
People are very much like the pets they own. Women with no pets or who have cats are usually more approachable and easier to forge a future with. Those with dogs...forget it, they treat their dogs better than most of the people in their lives.
Oh, please, give me facts/stats on women with pets. Who did the study? Or was it you and a bunch of your buds getting together and comparing notes?
If people are like the pets they own, cat owners should be independent and aloof, only desiring attention on their terms. Dog owners should be friendly and crave attention with lots of petting--and much more approachable than a cat person.
If we fall into stereotypes, the Crazy Cat Lady has to be at the top of the list--forge a future with one of them! | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:41:02 AM | leagueofextraordinarymen: Please provide us with your resources on these "facts". No one can argue that pets are not people. That is a fact and very evident. lol I doubt that anyone has the time to spend "talking" to their pets and/or animals 24/7.
I'm not sure what you are deriving at with this post, but it is senseless.
To those that said take Benadryl and/or antihistamines - for someone with a severeallergy to cats or anything else - this will NOT work. My allergies triggers asthama and other conditions, so merely taking a pill is not going to work.
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:41:50 AM | leagueofextraordinarymen: "Any Trainer will tell you your pet does not love you, they are condition because you feed them. Any Therapist of any sort will tell you "a relationship takes priority", yes even the ones that have pets. They are pets not people.
If you want to spend the rest of your life talking to your dogs/cats /chickens/cows/rabbits so be it. Just think little cute suzy rolls over after a year, meanwhile you just gave up the chance for a beautiful relationship with a PERSON. Lets look at it this way, you have had your dog for 10 yrs, the dog now requires a $6,000 operation, I bet you won't spend the money to save your dog. ( I know some say they have or will) So much for that loving feeling, I know so many people that love their pets but will not spend any money for life saving operations."
Please provide us with your resources on these "facts". No one can argue that pets are not people. That is a fact and very evident. lol I doubt that anyone has the time to spend "talking" to their pets and/or animals 24/7.
I'm not sure what you are deriving at with this post, but it is senseless.
To those that said take Benadryl and/or antihistamines - for someone with a severe allergy to cats or anything else - this will NOT work. My allergies triggers asthama and other conditions, so merely taking a pill is not going to work.
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:45:30 AM | leagueofextraordinarymen, "With respect to your profession, Im a design and code specialist..."A couple of my best pals are high ranking fire officials, "their dogs are their pals...I found your little remark, "misguided personality", a little extreme...thats all..As far as pullin heart strings, "You bet"...My own..
A relative thats an expert in animal behavioral science...I appreciate where you draw your conclusions, "ok"...I have a cousin thats a psychiatrist, "talk about a misguided personality"..
No disrespect to you intended..Jus given an opinion..I know quite a bit about your trade, lets leave it at that... | |
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| Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:03:39 AM | I see many people making a feeble attempt to pull on heart strings,but again how much money are you willing spend to save your pets life, would you give up your house ,your car, no , but you would for a family member.
Actually I would give up a house or a car for a pet before I'd give up the same for a family member...but then again you don't know my family - they're QUITE capable of helping themselves.
A pet is not owned or has a "master" either, an animal has a right to choose to be free, as well as human!
Humans domesticated certain animals, and the ones that are free don't necessarily live great lives - thanks to us, BTW. That's like saying the same for children. They can choose to be free right? So let them go....send em out in the world and see if they survive. Oh...wait, their choice to be free isn't very smart if they don't know what's in store? The world is too harsh and scary and there's too many highways, people who might wish them harm, they could get hurt? Ok...so how is that different?
I agree that at one time in the age of dirt animals were free and living in the wild made sense - most dogs and cat's don't know the wild because we've either all but eliminated it in our civilization or the ability to survive alone has been bred out of them generations ago. Humans started it, so they need to now be responsible about it.
I still say if you aren't a pet person, SIMPLY find someone else who isn't...they aren't that hard to find.
cat owners should be independent and aloof, only desiring attention on their terms.
And in my case, that's exactly how I am as a cat owner...good call Gwen! : ) I even feel smothered by the cats at times, which is why I got two, so they can bother each other! | |
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