| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:17:24 PM | | Well...I think for most people, there has to be an attraction. I don't think i would do it because there are two peoples emotions involved. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:28:49 PM | Three months might not be "serious," but I dated two men for three months apiece to whom I was not physically attracted.
The first was because I liked his personality. I offered to be friends when it ended, but without the sex, he didn't want it.
The second time, it was a rebound for me and I was impressed because he was a psychologist. Then, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. That was when I absolutely made the rule: NO MORE PITY SEX and no pity dates.
By the way, both men were fat and fat interferes with sex. No more obese men, either. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:31:45 PM | Sure lots of times. I have found that attraction to non-physical qualities far exceeds attraction to physical qualities.
Have you ever been with someone that your initial reaction is poor but as you get to know the person you find them more and more attractive? That is how I am most of the time. If I like someone enough to share time with them and get to know them, it is likely I will eventually become physically attracted to them as well. (if I am looking for that type of relationship)
PS today is my 41 birthday!!! | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:38:52 PM | ^^^^^^^^Happy 41st B day Graysom, you don't look a day over 25...=D
UCBerkMaiden, that was beautiful.
I get so tired of "plain jim" guys complaining that hot women won't give them a chance.. I have, infact my ex used to tell me and everyone else he felt like fred flintston , with Rachel Welch; my ex was 5'2"
Beauty should be in the HEART of the beholder, and what is beautiful about someone in a real relationship doesn't always come from the outside in, but rather the inside out. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:14:05 PM | I think this is easier for women to do then guys, since 80% of attraction for women is based personality/character and not looks.
For most men its difficult even if the woman is an angel to be attracted if the looks aren't there. Though I have met a few women I was not physically attracted to, but their personalities where so bubbly I couldn't help but start falling for them. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:18:01 PM | | Major Thomas. Some men will poke anything that moves. Men seem to be able to have sex even with women that they find borderline repulsive. I don't get it but sex and attraction seem to be disconnected in the minds of some men. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:15:08 PM | I've tried this...thinking my standards were too high or something. As it turns out, you get the same problems with not so good-looking guys as you do the hotties.
I'd rather be with someone I actually want to see naked. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 6:32:41 PM | No, I have not ever dated someone I wasn't attracted to, period.
This doesn't mean that a man has to be gorgeous, handsome, etc.
Just attractive to me, among other attributes.
What you find attractive, perhaps I don't and vice-versa. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 6:45:29 PM | I keep thinking I should try, because I have a lot of requirements for compatibility that are hard to find. I dated one guy who had all those traits...but it just wasn't there. I tried to talk myself into being attracted to him but once we were saying goodnight, the idea of kissing him made me feel ill.
He wasn't unattractive, it's just that that 'thing' wasn't there. I HAVE to have that thing to engage in any physical contact with a guy.
Believe me, this has kept my number low. :( | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:02:33 PM | | Why would you date someone you are not attracted to? thats a waste of time and leads the other person on....these days there are a lot of women who use men just to go out and get free dinners, drinks etc......and a lot of men who are players and use women for sex......I say just come correct be upfront and everyone knows where they stand.....it's easier....and no one gets hurt. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:08:52 PM |
Oh yes, the "I'm not shallow" dating syndrome. He's got great qualities hence, his appearance doesn't matter. I think all women at one point in their lives have done that.
Let's say you were to line up all the pictures of the guys you have dated, there will be that one particular "runt". He will be the one photo that doesn't look like it belongs, you know? But, because he did have a great personality, you will tend to remembeer the good times, but he would still be that one particular photo that is just out of place. :)
Been there, done that, will never go there again. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 1:58:47 PM | its weird but although i was aware my first love wasnt attrative i really fancied him and fell hopelessly in love with him, this lasted for six and a half years. If its gonna last you have to be attracted to them. Personalities can be attractive too, you must know people you love being around because of the good times you have with them and the joy they bring. I honestly think the truly beautiful shine from within.
take care
Lynn | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:17:28 PM |
What about blind people? How do they choose?
EXCELLENT question. They probably choose on the basis of qualities that REALLY matter and don't automatically rule out people who don't fit a certain very rigid and meaningless profile in terms of looks.
What a concept!  I think they might actually have a better shot at having a successful relationship than those of us who are blessed with the gift of sight. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:46:22 PM | Hahaha. They can still feel someone's body, and will probably have a preference on how it should feel. They probably would prefer a nice voice as well. And a very lovely smell...soft skin.
Everyone needs some lovely physicality. | |
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Cazimi
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Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 44 | |
| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:50:08 PM | Yes, I have dated a few guys I was not physically attracted to .
I found them to be intelligent ,interesting and wanted to get the know them for who they are and not what they looked like.
They lasted from a few dates to five months .
One I dated four years, I was not attracted to his looks but he kind of grew on me, I later found him very sexy , fell madly in love with him, something about him got me weak at the knees.
The taste is in the pudding  | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 4:14:35 PM | | I am absolutely loving this thread. To me it is not silly because I am seeing a man who has all the qualities that I want in a man, he is attractive--not a model, but nice looking. But no chemistry. Do I want him to take me in his arms and kiss me? No. Do I enjoy his company? YES. I don't use him financially--mealticket, etc. There are all kinds of attraction points but not the heat kind. No we have not slept together. My brain wonders will this change or will it stay the same. I know all kinds of folks, myself included, who have dated average who grew on me, so who knows? | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 4:30:26 PM | I dont see the point of dating someone you're not attracted to...I have never done it..
That's what "platonic friends" are for ...Dating someone you have no attraction to is pretty much like going to a restaurant and ordering an entree that totally does not appeal to you... whats the point? | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:29:34 PM | I have. There is more to a relationship than a physical attraction though. Sometimes what someone lacks on the outside, they can make up for several times over in personality. I will stay with someone much longer who is less attractive that I like, than someone who is very attractive that I don't like. Isn't there a song about this? Something about, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life..."
LOL. Really beauty within will trump beauty without, although even that has it's limits. For instance, tubgirl could be an absolute angel, but I still couldn't get over how unbelievably unattractive she is. *shrug* YMMV
DPR | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:45:05 PM | | Yes but he was my first "serious" boyfriend and I was sixteen years old. I liked his wit and his intelligence and was flattered he liked me...but I was never physically attracted to him and we never even kissed!! When I went to college he tried to get me to promise to date only him but I refused...I was ready for the real thing by then. That ended it. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:07:49 PM | | I haven't done it (mostly because I have no opportunities to date, period), but I'm open to it. I don't have to have instant chemistry to date someone, and despite what POF wisdom says, attraction can grow over time. It's so asinine how people say that unless they feel it in 30 seconds or less, it's over. Maybe it's the way she wears her hair on the third date that everything clicks, you know? | |
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