| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:07:49 PM | | I haven't done it (mostly because I have no opportunities to date, period), but I'm open to it. I don't have to have instant chemistry to date someone, and despite what POF wisdom says, attraction can grow over time. It's so asinine how people say that unless they feel it in 30 seconds or less, it's over. Maybe it's the way she wears her hair on the third date that everything clicks, you know? | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:43:27 AM | I met the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but there was no attraction and passion on my side (although they were very attractive). I dragged it out for 6 years.
VERY BAD IDEA. Now I'm heartbroken that I won't get to spend the rest of my life with them, but it just didn't work. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/3/2008 1:21:21 PM | "I tried but the sex became too disgusting and I couldn't ask him to put a bag over his head. I hope no one ever tries to date me if they aren't attracted to me. It's not fair to either party. " -dosomething
Hear, hear... | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/3/2008 1:33:45 PM | I don't think many people would date someone if they weren't attracted to them at all.
On the other hand, most people have dated someone they aren't COMPLETELY attracted to.
A better question might be " have you ever dated someone who had something about them that bugged you ? "
For example , maybe you had a cute boyfriend but he had a big belly, or a hairy back, etc. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/3/2008 1:46:20 PM | "I've tried this...thinking my standards were too high or something. As it turns out, you get the same problems with not so good-looking guys as you do the hotties.
I'd rather be with someone I actually want to see naked."
I agree with that also. Here's my story:
I went on 3 dates with a guy who was "unattractive" to me because I thought he was nice. I'm not so sure he was now. He basically dumped me without explanation and I figure it's because I didn't get serious or intimate with him at the speed he wanted. I even tried explaining this to him because I felt he was trying to rush me into something I was still thinking about and he told me what I wanted to hear but didn't really agree with me apparently. I guess I thought we could be friends or something but often it seems like guys want the sex or nothing at all. I could never have sex with someone I was not physically attracted to. I thought maybe if I gave it more time I'd feel something for him. Nope. When you get into a romantic relationship with someone, sex is usually part of the package. If it makes you sick to your stomach at the idea of having sex with someone who you are not attracted to you're not being true to yourself and you're not doing the other person a favor either. It's better to stay single if you can't find someone you like. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/3/2008 1:50:32 PM | | To me, the question itself is rather shallow. There was also a question in there as to why a person would continue to date someone they are not physically attracted to. How about this for size....how about because the person is kind, honest, humble, loyal, fun, smart, successful, sensual, generous, and you have similar taste in music, food, etc. How does those reasons sound? LMAO. To date someone because of their physical looks is about as shallow as it comes. Once you meet a person that has so many other admirable qualities, any reasonable person would automatically fall in love. It's a no brainer for me, but I realize there are people in the world who absolutely must be physically attracted to a person in order to have a relationship. Mine is just another perspective and does not necessarily make either of us right or wrong. I have always been an extremely attractive person, but thank God I'm also been smart:-) Besides, I could look in the mirror if it was all about beauty lol. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:15:58 PM | | Attraction has zero to do with looks, it has to do with the brain and what goes on between the retina and the back of the skull. Most people cannot actually sum up their attraction to their spouse on physical characteristics and anyone that is in long term relationships realizes that you ain't gonna look fantastic every single minute of every single day .... good luck with that caus' we are all going to get OLD ... especially humans that plan on sticking it out till the trans phat lady sings. Attraction and deep feelings are based on action and love is doing not infatuation caus' if you are truly in a loving connection and that person got disfigured they would still be your heart and your love .... the real deal is much deeper. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:01:29 PM | I have personally never dated someone that I was not physically attracted to.
But there was one girl, and she is still a wonderful friend, that I was attracted to solely based on her personality and vibe. Physical apperance in the first attraction switch throw into the mix. But its just one attraction switch. For women: humor, vibe, resources, potential to provide resources, protector of there loved ones.
I am curious sweetangela78, who is this guy and why do you think that you are attracted to him?
Remember: Attraction is not a choice!
Thanks,
Enlightenmentdating.com | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:43:31 PM | | In college a few times I dated off my usual type but no more than a date or two. Sometimes you see something in a person and you want to get to know them a little better then after a few conversations maybe the spark is not there. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/10/2008 7:11:46 AM | | I am dating someone that has longer hair than me. Granted my hair is short, but I was never attracted to guys with long hair. But I looked past that and met a really great guy, who is gorgeous (long hair and all). Physical attraction is important at first, but emotional attraction is what keeps you there to stay. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/10/2008 10:00:06 AM |
I don't think many people would date someone if they weren't attracted to them at all.
On the other hand, most people have dated someone they aren't COMPLETELY attracted to.
A better question might be " have you ever dated someone who had something about them that bugged you ? "
For example , maybe you had a cute boyfriend but he had a big belly, or a hairy back, etc
I guess that would be a better description of what I felt. There was some attraction, mostly because I emailed, chatted online, talked to him on the phone for quite awhile, so basically I did like his personality. And when I met him, I was attracted due to the person I thought he was, he just didn't happen to actually be like he portrayed himself to be. So when I discovered I didn't really like his personality either, it was over. But if I had met him immediately, I would not have been attracted to him. | |
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| dating someone you're not attracted to
Posted: 7/10/2008 2:15:44 PM | | Yes I did. It was for about 6 months I guess. The reason was that it really sucks to be alone. I really shouldn't of broken up with him , because sometimes you really have to lower standards in order not to spend the rest of your life alone. I did care for him and I really did love spending time with him, there just was not great passion. | |
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