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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:48:26 PM | OP
Sorry from some of us for bashing you...
Sorry from some of us for bashing your b/f...
Too many on here, can't fathom why anyone would waste their time on such a difficult relationship...
Too many on here, also can't fathom why they are still single...
I'd tell you that you screwed up and all that, but you already know that...
The rest of us who can read, hope that things work out for the two of you. You both have a very daunting and difficult road ahead of you.
I and hopefully most of the other posters wish you all the best...
I think what many of these people have missed is that "LOVE CAN CONQUER ALL".
Personally, I'd be honored to buy you both a beer...
Good luck... | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:54:08 AM |
Sorry from some of us for bashing you...
Sorry from some of us for bashing your b/f...
Too many on here, can't fathom why anyone would waste their time on such a difficult relationship...
Too many on here, also can't fathom why they are still single...
I'd tell you that you screwed up and all that, but you already know that...
The rest of us who can read, hope that things work out for the two of you.
Ditto, m_church. I'm reminded of a phrase I heard:
"Show me someone who doesn't have relationship issues, and I'll show you someone who *isn't* in a relationship." 
A facetious comment, but there *is* a grain of truth in it. | |
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| made a terrible mistake by f&&king these other guys ...
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:17:10 PM | I would say ..cya...reminds me of a line from U2.."you been all over , and its been all over you".
On msg 180 you claim to also have gotten a std...excuse me for 1 second...
Prisons are full of people who wish they could just say sorry ,and it would all go away..life isnt like that.
How would you feel if he said "thats ok honey , I had a different hooker every thursday"....but it "shouldnt" count, because "we were apart"...mind if we break up for an hour on thursday ?...lol
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| made a terrible mistake by f&&king these other guys ...
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:34:14 PM | OP I'm not going to read thru all 10 pages so if someone has already stated this...here it is again...You can't blame yourself for being with people while apart from your boyfriend. If he sat and pined away for you that was his choice. If he slept around while you were broken up that was his choice. So guess what, you slept with a few guys while you were broken up...it was your choice. And there was/is nothing wrong with what you did.
On the other hand, the d!ck wad that got with you while you two were broken up that your boyfriend thought was his friend...that guy's an @$$ You don't pole your buddies ex's. Not cool, that guy is a douchebag.
And if that guy is the reason that a bunch of the friends you & your boyfriend have knows about the two of you hooking up...that makes him a douchenozzle...You don't hit it and brag about it with your buddies when the girl ya tapped is in the 'circle'...Not cool...That guy's a d!ck...Make your man feel better about it by ousting that jerkoff outta the 'circle'. Have nothing to do with that guy at all...Period!
Of course, if you went lookin' for it from your man's buddy while you two were broken up...well I think you know what that makes you...But I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because I'm pretty sure I hit the nail on the head about that guy being a back stabbing douchebag!
If your man still can't get over it...Kick him to the curb. He either wants to be with you or he doesn't...there is NO gray area when it comes to that. If he can't forgive & forget, what else is he going to mope about and hold against you?? Don't stick around to find out, cut your losses and let him know "I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do to change the past...so get over it or move along"...Feel free to add "Stop acting like a baby" if you think it's warranted.
Cupid has spoken hehehehehee
By the way...I think douchebag is my new favorite word | |
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| made a terrible mistake by f&&king these other guys ...
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:52:28 PM | Jesus, Cupid is Blind (how apt)....I would think as long as you've been a member here, that you would know better than to blindly post without reading prior posts on the thread or the OP's profile.....I quickly learned that after my first ignorant post. Good job sucking up, though.
!ds~ | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:41:04 PM |
Sorry from some of us for bashing you...
Sorry from some of us for bashing your b/f...
Too many on here, can't fathom why anyone would waste their time on such a difficult relationship...
Too many on here, also can't fathom why they are still single...
Thank you. I appreciate your words.
hope that things work out for the two of you. You both have a very daunting and difficult road ahead of you.
It has been very bumpy road as well. But right now it seems to be a smooth road. We're going out and spending a lot of time together. In some ways we're getting along better than before. I think we've both realised how much we have the capacity to hurt each other and because we're now aware, we treat each other with more honor and respect.
I am not sure that it makes sense the way I've written it, but I hope you understand. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:33:14 AM | Msg. 220
The point of my post and many others is that the past is the past and her current BF has no right to tell her what she did was wrong. She owes no one an explanation for her acts.
Thats like saying "Its ok to screw other people over, and as long as I dont answer any questions, or voulenteer any details, then of course I can do it again. And I don't owe you anything, including being accountable for my own actions to you, from you."
This is a typical case of the, "Don't ask, or I'll tell a lie" dating mentality. In combination with half****d notions of being an " independant type", whom dispenses any "truth" as a reluctant luxury, but not a right to their "friends", "lovers", or anyone. Along with the explination of that viewpoint, thus avoiding any reproach for any action taken.
If a person has a problem with accurately explaining their actions or principles. They obviously don't feel they owe another person the truth, in all they do. Including their relationships.
If a person gets upset because you require an explination for something that "seems amiss", then thats a huge red flag of relationship unviability.
Especially when it comes to love. Therein the concept is accountability to ones partner, based on mutual respect. This being incompatable with a "I owe you nothing" mindset, which includes earned respect.
Now we all have a sexual past. That is one thing, but not explaining anything of importance to your partner because "you owe them nothing", including the truth a persons love deserves, will most likely ensure only the most brief of relationship futures.
Unless the partner has a love of needless mysteries, unstable relationships, terminal STD infections, and emotional wounds.
All of which are any easy combination, when a person doesn't owe any explination for their acts. Particularly when those are still interfering with the "couples" present, and hence, that relationship future. It is the worst combination of willful stupidity, and relationship irresponsibility. A guaranteed romantic drama disaster, waiting for a person to "get it."
Under the guise of "an independant person, whom owes you nothing."
9 to 9 | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:48:53 AM |
"I owe you nothing"
I hate that one. I believe in full disclosure. I see it as, if a woman and I are to spend the rest of our lives together, then we owe each other everything, with due regard, and due consideration.
I hope that the op learned that her actions do follow her through life and do affect current and future relationships. I also hope that there are many, men and women, that learn from this. Because lets face it, men are notorious at being pieces of shit. Women are becoming more that way also, the earlier post about ggw is a good example, honestly, what man would want to keep a woman that said ‘I just needed to get my wild side out’? You know what, the way that I see it, that is what the bedroom is for, while in a relationship. Having moved from man to man or public display’s are not very desirable traits. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:00:52 AM |
Because lets face it, men are notorious at being pieces of shit. Women are becoming more that way also
Yes, it's strange that women are constantly bashing men over the way they are, while trying to emulate the same behaviours... | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:04:04 AM |
The point of my post and many others is that the past is the past and her current BF has no right to tell her what she did was wrong. She owes no one an explanation for her acts.
Ah, so if she went off in a rage and stabbed her last BF with a steak knife, and managed to get off with probation (and a restraining order against her), or went to jail and is out and on parole... "the past is the past" and her current BF has no need to question it, and she owes no explanation of it??
I dated one woman I found out after a couple months always kept cash and never had a checking account because... she'd bounced checks in 1/2 the towns in the state and spent 90days in jail because of it. But, oh, I have no right to tell her that was wrong, and she certainly owed me no explanation for her acts - "the past is the past" right?
One of her ex's finds out we're dating, and tells me how she cheated on him and every other relationship she's ever been in - but "the past is the past", she owes me no explanation right? And I have no right to bring it up and ask, even though I feel cheating is "wrong"?
Now we all have a sexual past. That is one thing, but not explaining anything of importance to your partner because "you owe them nothing", including the truth a persons love deserves, will most likely ensure only the most brief of relationship futures.
Yup, 9-to-9, so if your partner "owes you nothing", not even the truth, you have no right to ever question them... they didn't come home friday night, and were cheating on you.. but hey, its sunday - you have no right to ask where they were, and they have no obligation to explain themselves - after all, its the past and "the past is the past", they owe you nothing!!! Yeah, that lends itself to healthy relationships. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:11:07 AM |
but not explaining anything of importance to your partner because "you owe them nothing", including the truth a persons love deserves, will most likely ensure only the most brief of relationship futures.
This is a lot of the reason so many people are chronically single. They are unwilling to open themselves to a partner.
"Don't ask, or I'll tell a lie" dating mentality
The 'Don't ask, or I'll tell a lie' policy is ok for the first dates or so. But at what point does it become 'too late' to tell...??
I'd rather know up front than invest emotionally in someone and find out later that I don't like something from the person's past. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:04:18 AM | | well the past is the past. its done and over. the problem here is she slept iwth his friends. if she had of slept with 3 men he didnt know it would be much easier. but these men were his friends. personally if a guy i broke up with slept with my friends, his chances of getting back together with me would be a big fat ZERO. So I understand this guys feelings. this should become a lesson for her that firneds are off limit. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:52:48 AM | | Hmm, I think it's more the friends' responsibilities to not sleep with his ex-girlfriend. He shouldn't blame the girl, but his so called friends. If my friends hooked up with my ex after the breakup, and then cheated on him on top of that, they wouldn't be my friends anymore. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:03:27 AM |
He shouldn't blame the girl, but his so called friends.
Takes two to tango, DG. Would *you* go boffing your ex-BF's friends, while talking to the ex-BF at the same time about getting back together - and realistically expect it to work out? I would hope it would be common sense that you'd understand by doing his friends, you're probably sabotaging (or at least seriously wounding) your chances of getting back with him? | |
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| made a terrible mistake by f&&king these other guys ...
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:59:30 AM | First of all, do not worry about your boyfriend. Obviously you showed him what your character is all about. Cheating and lying and you now wonder why he does'nt trust you anymore or your relationship is having problems? Hopefully he will do the right thing and drop your @ss to the curb.
Think about it. It would benefit you both. He can move on and possibly find a decent loyal women and you can go f%%k as many different men as you wish without feeling guilt.
All your friends know that he is dating a sl*t. How could he ever feel good about that?
Do him a favour and keep your cheating @ss away from him and at the same time post a warning to all your girlfriends that their boyfriends could be next on your list of conquests. | |
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| made a terrible mistake by f&&king these other guys ...
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:53:34 PM |
Cheating and lying and you now wonder why he does'nt trust you anymore or your relationship is having problems? Hopefully he will do the right thing and drop your @ss to the curb.
Did you actually read any of the posts?
I ask this because nowhere did it say she was cheating or lying. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:40:22 AM |
Takes two to tango, DG. Would *you* go boffing your ex-BF's friends, while talking to the ex-BF at the same time about getting back together - and realistically expect it to work out? I would hope it would be common sense that you'd understand by doing his friends, you're probably sabotaging (or at least seriously wounding) your chances of getting back with him?
At the time I thought what if we don't get back together? I know we were talking about getting back together and spending time together but I had no idea that we would for sure get back together.
My friends kept telling me it was ok that we were apart and I could do what I wanted and he'd understand because we were not dating. I was very naive about how this would all play out. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:44:29 AM | He shouldn't blame the girl, but his so called friends
WRONG. he needs to blame both. it takes two. she was a willing participate. why should she be considered innocent? she is guilty.
thats where the problem is... people always wanting to blame someone else instead of the partner for the partners wrong doing. put the blame where it belongs. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:09:56 PM |
My friends kept telling me it was ok that we were apart and I could do what I wanted and he'd understand because we were not dating. I was very naive about how this would all play out.
I'll bet it was all your female friends who told you that the guy would 'understand' wasn't it? | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:03:32 PM |
I'll bet it was all your female friends who told you that the guy would 'understand' wasn't it?
Yes it was. I guess they didn't know any better either. | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:11:15 PM | Msg. 240
I think you've missed the point Dumpling Girl.
Hmm, I think it's more the friends' responsibilities to not sleep with his ex-girlfriend. He shouldn't blame the girl, but his so called friends.
If she really did love him and it wasn't just a word to her, she never would of had sex with some other guy in the first place. There is no absolution for being a hoebag, and then trying to generate a "relationship". Once a hoe always a hoe, its not a question of if unfaithfullness will occur, just when. If lucky the partner might just findout the
whom(s) involved.
A song just might put that into prospective. Its called "Youz A Hoe" by Ludicriss.
How can you justify a screwed up person commiting relationship treason, for any reason, by saying "don't balme the person"? When their lack of sexual ethics is at the core of the matter? How does a person say "don't blame the girl" or conversely,"don't blame the guy"?
But if its just singles having sex, call that what it is. Two uncommited people in a "relationship" that are ****ing. And thats all that is, no more but much less than love.
And you know, I guess thats all part of the "It's Ok to be a relationship scumbucket" mentality. Especially when justified by gender, allways a convienient "reason". Enlightening to the fact that an attempted robbery of, will soon take place.
It seems to me that there's no either or, in this situation. Neither party (the girl, the "friends") are nothing less than scum feeders. Their the "sucking loaches" of relationship fish. But are usefull for consuming simple lower organisims, that obviously want to be eaten. Much like the "boyfriend". One of many, I'm sure, whom don't get the fact, of them being relationship algae. ;)
"just don't balme the guy/ girl" for them being scumbuckets, because its soo socially correct, "to avoid being angry, because we all must get along." Even when your being screwed over for....what again?
Oh yeah...nothing involving real love. That means commitment, and staying true to your man or woman.
9 to 9 | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:54:22 AM |
It seems to me that there's no either or, in this situation. Neither party (the girl, the "friends") are nothing less than scum feeders. Their the "sucking loaches" of relationship fish. But are usefull for consuming simple lower organisims, that obviously want to be eaten. Much like the "boyfriend". One of many, I'm sure, whom don't get the fact, of them being relationship algae. ;)
Possibly one of the strangest analogies I've ever read here....
Not saying you're wrong, or right. Actually I'm not sure. But it's definately different.
Now I'm trying to figure out what kind of fish I am... - Very troubling thought.... | |
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| Will this fix itself?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:17:36 PM |
If she really did love him and it wasn't just a word to her, she never would of had sex with some other guy in the first place.
At the time, we were broken up. I didn't know if we'd get back together. And to be truthful, I didn't realise what I had until it was gone. | |
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