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Posted: 12/5/2008 7:22:08 PM | I can honestly say, this is not something I would care to try. But with that being said, I am sure I have a kink or three that would be something someone else would not like. So I am for people being who they are as long as noone pushes people to change who they are. At least they are being honest with themselves and others. Shakespeare said it best...."To thy ownself be true." Words to live by. | |
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Posted: 12/5/2008 9:23:33 PM |
I think it's a shame that people have such tunnel views as to what is "masculine"and "feminine"; it seems that anytime there is someone out there who challenges it and doesn't fit into the neat little boxes, then they get labeled as weirdos and perverts, or are given some other negative feedback. Just because someone likes to wear something that society deems is meant for the opposite sex doesn't mean the person is sick and needs help, and doesn't mean they are unable to represent the usual (ridiculous) stereotypes that go along with that particular gender when needed.
Gonzo, that's the most intelligent post in this forum.
I've done a little research on the subject (I'm a fashion student, and the way clothing is used to construct gender is a pretty big topic) so here's my two cents.
First of all, let's get our terms straight. Drag is a parody of women, and both gay and straight males have done it, but for entertainment, NOT sexual gratification. Fetishistic Transvestism on the other hand, which is what these guys are describing, is a straight male phenomenon. It's imitation as flattery. These guys like women, and are attracted to femininity. It's OUR SOCIETY which has attached femininity to these artificial trappings, which men then take on in order to feel closer to femininity.
They're still male- in fact, cognitive dissonance seems to play a big part in sexual fetish, whether it's the big exec who likes to come home and be spanked, or the man's man going hunting in women's panties.
A gay guy likes men, and wants to remain male. He wants nothing to do with women sexually. FT then, is practically the polar opposite of “gay.” Now if a guy liked guys, crossdressed, AND wished to be female, that's Gender Identity Disorder, and that's not what we’re discussing.
They may all look like a man in a dress to you, but the motivations couldn’t be more different. | |
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Posted: 12/5/2008 9:56:14 PM | OK, part II
"Cross-dressing" simply refers to when a person of one gender puts on the gendered clothing of the opposite gender. Gender refers to a combination of sex and socially constructed identities. Sex refers only to actual biological differences. Clothing is sexless.
Gender differentiation has always been one of the major functions of clothing. But what clothing is assigned what gender can be pretty arbitrary. The ancients all wore skirts, and many cultures continue to do so. Then for many centuries pants=men and skirts=women, but for men were otherwise allowed all the cosmetics, colours, ruffles, and jewels they wanted. Now pants are unisex, skirts are gendered, and most forms of decoration are exclusively female.
But are you really going to hold someone wearing the wrong "gender" of clothing against them, when the "gender" of that clothing comes down to nothing more than timing and cultural context?
I kind of resent the implication that decoration=femininity. Makeup is female? Who says? Makeup is irritating! And as much as I think men look kind of silly in lots of these transvestic get-ups, women often look pretty darn silly in them too, and goddamnit, self-decoration is one to the most universal human instincts, so I think the boys have as much right to it as we do! Yeah, I believe there are SOME quintessential differences between men and women that transcend cultural differences. But it ain't your clothes. | |
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Posted: 12/5/2008 10:09:39 PM | So basically, ladies, it's perfectly ok not to be attracted to a guy in spike heels and a feather boa. I mean hell, you probably wouldn't be caught dead with a boa! But before you get your knickers in a knot about his "sickness," remember in the 1700s you'd be a cross-dresser for WEARING knickers (nevermind pants!) and his stockings and face powder would've been gender appropriate.
It's all relative. | |
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Posted: 12/6/2008 2:56:55 PM | i should have posted an answer to lainey55's post earlier.you may have seen a family destroyed by this but it takes more than one person or factor to destroy anything.and you are free to put up your own opinions,that is why we are in a free society.and it is your RIGHT to say whatever you like and if you feel i look that way that is YOUR opinion and YOUR'S alone.as for children,anyone that brings this element into the mix is using very poor judgement on whoever's part.and if you think i am hurting anyone in my family well that is your complete UNINFORMED opinion as they are not involved in this lifestyle of mine.if you would bother to check my profile i am a single,unattached person.and i have never "thrown" myself in anyone's face to either show off you tell them this is right.and i do not do this for a shock value.what many cannot and willnot understand is why a person desired to crossdress and i'm not only talking men,women crossdress every day in complete public.i would like to ask you,how often do you wear jeans,pants,tee shirts or track pants? if you do this is a crossdressing in male clothing.
there are way too many hypocrites and self rightous in this world and if we don't follow their rigid rules we are the one's that are not well...take a valium for pete's sake.
and this is my opinion and mine alone.
Krystall | |
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Posted: 12/21/2008 7:13:05 PM | | I love crossdressing. I hid it for many years and felt guilty about it up until a couple of years ago. I was always confused and didn't understand why I had this Fascination with women’s clothes and accessories? I remember having these desires as far back as elementary school. Anyway, to make a long story short, I took a chance and decided to fully explore my crossdressing desires. I was newly single, out of a long-term relationship with no ties to anyone so I went to a crossdressing convention. It was truly amazing! Bree was born and I haven’t looked back ever since. Sure I have my guy side, which is what is usually in the public but my “other” side is out there too and I love it! No more guilt or hiding, it’s really great! | |
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Posted: 1/12/2009 3:57:05 PM | | well maybe we can get to know each other a little better. i looking ofr a guy who loves a crossdresser. | |
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Posted: 1/12/2009 4:22:02 PM | my bf likes to wear my panties at times and when hes raelly wasted maybe a silky dress
mostly because he likes the way it feels on his skin i guess
its pretty hot
and it makes me laugh sometimes to lol | |
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Posted: 1/12/2009 5:56:37 PM |
Oh, and in regards to the person who claimed to be the least passible cross dresser? Not even close. Rudy Giuliani. No contest.
I don't know. J. Edgar Hoover could have given him a run for his money. | |
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Posted: 1/12/2009 6:00:09 PM | ooo, that is sexah.
I had partner who was open for such things.
It was stimulating to say the least. | |
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Posted: 1/20/2009 10:31:48 AM | | I admire the men that fully dress.....some actually have a better idea than most women as to what is sexy. They know how to use their biby to seduce, attract an lure most men....of course that is the fully dressed. | |
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Posted: 3/9/2009 3:31:48 AM | Hi
I have been crossdressing since i was about 6. I have also been happilly Married for twenty years.
I have now come out and told my wife all although she is supportive we are no longer together as man and wife. She helps me with make up and things and suggests what i wear.
My main problem is i do this for fun, when i am not Louise, i am Andy and i dress and act like a man.
I am on here with my wifes approval (BECAUSE SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND NOW)
Looking to meet somebody who understands? | |
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Posted: 3/9/2009 4:39:51 AM | | I have no problem with crossdressers, I have alot of friends who do. However I would NOT date someone who did, I need a manly man. | |
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Posted: 3/9/2009 8:33:39 AM | | That's pretty much all you can expect, Louise. 99.9 percent of the time, even accepting women only want to be 'friends'. There's nothing inherently sexually attractive to a woman about anything feminine when it comes to men, it's not built into their dna. Yes, one of your new 'friends' might come to find you attractive as she sees past the fem attire, but don't count on it. There are approximately three million crossdressing men in the country, and only a handful (literally) of women who are truly into it, and they're already taken. Good luck in your search; the guys who have the best chance are out of the closet, go out in public as girls, and while they won't pass, they come close enough to stimulate interest in the few girls who have an underlying interest in real girls but don't really want to have physical intimacy with genuine females. So if you really look good dressed up, you might want to try that. On the other hand, if you look like most of us, like a beast in a dress, if you ever want a girlfriend again, you might want to seriously reconsider, and stuff your fem side back into the closet. Other than that, best of luck in your search. Oh, BTW, don't even bother with the date a crossdresser site. It's inhabited completely by men, many of whom list themselves as female, so don't let it throw you when you check it out and think you've found a horde of CD interested women. | |
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Posted: 3/9/2009 9:22:19 AM | I say be yourself and dont listen to judgemental people. Never live your life with regret! Like I always say, anything that you do kinky/freaky is NOT GAY, as long as its JUST with your wife/girlfriend.
I have friends who were never into crossdressing (and im talking about big manly guys who you would never say anything bad to their face) but because it was turn on for their girlfriend and she wanted them to do it, they had no problem and they had fun doing it.
Its funny how there are so many people who claim they never watch porn or dont buy any sexual toys or any kinky stuff, yet porn industry makes billions on top of billions of dollars every year from sales, LOL SOMEONE MUST BE BUYING ALL THAT STUFF. There are lots of kinky people out there, its just lot of them are in closet and to make themselves feel better they bash other people who are out of closed, shame really! | |
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Posted: 5/20/2009 2:03:59 AM | | I'm a crossdresser and i LOVE it, i would love to find a girl who will like me for it and accept it or even just a friend who could help me dress up and do my make up but i've had no such luck :( | |
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Posted: 5/20/2009 7:35:47 AM | They may all look like a man in a dress to you, but the motivations couldn’t be more different.
Yeah but at the end of the day no matter how pretty you are ,your still just a MAN in a dress.  | |
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Posted: 5/20/2009 8:22:17 AM | if i were in a relationship and found out he liked dressing in womens clothes , I would help him AS MUCH as I could , with makeup , accesories , everything ....x
The one thing I do find in the men who like this kind of thing , they go over the top , wearing clothes etc that your average woman wouldnt ....which makes them , at times , look a little silly ....but , this is just my opinion xxxx | |
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Posted: 5/30/2009 10:44:27 PM | | I personally think a cross dressing man is very sexy. In fact, if you live in my area and you are a cross dresser, please message me. I'd be more than happy to be in a relationship with you. LOL. | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 5:02:41 AM | | Seems odd to me that there is such a debate about crossdressing. If a woman wore boxers, a t shirt and jeans and looked like a guy, she wouldn't be harassed most likely. Yet if a man puts a dress on people freak. To me it's just clothes to use a famous quote "clothes do not make the man" | |
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Posted: 7/17/2009 8:22:23 AM | Just want to state for the record,
I have never worn a cross ('though the cross is meaningful to me),
[mostly this is because I don't really wear jewelry]
nor have I ever dressed as a cross (see above).
TK
{just sayin'} | |
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Posted: 7/23/2009 12:45:37 PM |
Methinks some people who crow the loudest against it are the ones truly insecure with their sexuality. They can't accept the idea that for some, the lines between "feminine" and "masculine" can be blurred, even crossed, and it doesn't mean the person is mental.
I think it's a shame that people have such tunnel views as to what is "masculine" and "feminine"; it seems that anytime there is someone out there who challenges it and doesn't fit into the neat little boxes, then they get labeled as weirdoes and perverts, or are given some other negative feedback. Just because someone likes to wear something that society deems is meant for the opposite sex doesn't mean the person is sick and needs help, and doesn't mean they are unable to represent the usual (ridiculous) stereotypes that go along with that particular gender when needed.
Personally, I like a person who is willing to challenge the norm and be who they are, stereotypes aside. I spent quite a few years getting to know some cross-dressers, and I think only 10% of them were either gay or bi-sexual.
As for me......coming from an extensive theater background, as well as a diehard David Bowie fan (I have a pic on my wall of his album cover from "The Man Who Sold the World" that I drool over), I have to say I would be open to the option of dating a man who liked to cross-dress. I don't think it makes him any less of a man or less "masculine" because he likes to dress up.
I think it takes a real man to wear women's clothes.
A real man wearss his *own* clothes. He doesn't feel the need to play dress-up in lady's clothes. Why would a man pretend to himself and the world that he's something he is not? A real man wouldn't feel the need to put on girlie clothes and cheat on his loving wife with other men. Crossdressing is a pathetically sad behaviour. It digusts me and it troubles me but what good can come from shaming a person who is beyond shame? | |
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Posted: 7/23/2009 1:04:11 PM |
Yet if a man puts a dress on people freak. To me it's just clothes to use a famous quote "clothes do not make the man"
At the end of the day, you're just a MAN in a dress.
Very very conscipuous. | |
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Posted: 8/4/2009 8:34:25 PM |
A real man wearss his *own* clothes. He doesn't feel the need to play dress-up in lady's clothes. Why would a man pretend to himself and the world that he's something he is not? A real man wouldn't feel the need to put on girlie clothes and cheat on his loving wife with other men. Crossdressing is a pathetically sad behaviour. It digusts me and it troubles me but what good can come from shaming a person who is beyond shame?
These clothes are all my own :)
Try not to get to wrapped up in what other people are doing u will go crazy.
I couldn't explain to you why i like to crossdress any more than i could explain why i like coffee.
To be honest i stopped questioning why my fem side kicks in, apart from the fact the clothing is softer and much more sensual i really have no idea, and who cares.
I do this you do that. Its a big world smile more, start talking about the things you like more than giving your opinion on the things you hate.
I no its been covered a bunch of times in this thread but
Sexual identity isn't the same thing as sexual preference.
after all are all tomboys lesbians i think not.
Personally i have no interest at all in guys. | |
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