| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:16:05 PM | A Fortiori
Aren’t we sour!... I never thought a simple (you don’t like that word!) statement about men and women would generate any outrage! Of course it is a generalization! What else could it be?
I wrote that “Men are simple” as uncomplicated, easy to understand, no frills, NOT as idiots!!!!, as you misinterpreted, and women (see? the finger didn’t slip on the wrong key this time!) are “complicated”, as difficult to understand, emotional, intricate, etc. A generalization, but as we all know, there are always exceptions!
That men and women are biologically “brainwired” differently has been scientifically proven. This is not a new concept! It comes from a book called “Why men don’t have a clue and women always need more shoes” written by Allan Pease and his wife. Despite the silly title the content is quite educational. It is the ultimate guide for the opposite sex as they like to call it. They try to make sense of and explain the constant misunderstanding (huh…) between men and women, that’s right, something new under the sun!
Other books on relationships are worth reading in case someone would be interested:
The Manual by Steve Santagati;
He’s just not that into you! by Greg Behrendt;
She’s the One by Gregory Gilderman;
You didn’t hear it from us by Dushan Zaric - Jason Kosman, to name just a few.
They’re all written by men who appear quite intelligent and have a pretty good knowledge and understanding of both genders.
Glitches in the wiring? Hmm… Maybe! But I think I’m in good company! | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:34:11 AM | | Enjoy him within the limits of the relationship; find your intellectual answers elsewhere. It is enough to have a good companion. The conversation partners can be found all around you. Do you really need to bring verbal angst into romantic bliss? | |
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1 life
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Joined: 10/17/2007
Msg: 54 | |
| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:14:01 PM | What is your priority in life?
is it physical?
emotionally does he guide you towards what you wish to feel
What is the balance between the 2?
Is a party is what you are looking for & be center of attention?
More questions than answers. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 7/30/2008 12:28:54 PM | | I've never seen it work yet, I don't know why but women seem to want men that are on their socio-economic as well as intellegence level. Men seem to be able to accept women on any level. I'v often wondered why the difference. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 7/30/2008 2:58:56 PM |
Can this type of relationship work, with a simple-minded man and a complex, intelligent woman?
Do you need to be intelligent to have sex? Is attraction solely based on intelligence? Probably not, right?
Relationships can be complex. And even when they are not, it's unlikely that "simple-minded" or "complex and intelligent" will determine the success of the relationship. There are too many other factors. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 7/30/2008 3:01:21 PM | | it can work for another 6 months maybe, or until you get tired of his company. i don't think it's terribly important since you're only 19. long-term, it will NEVER work. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 7/30/2008 3:05:55 PM | Haha....you sound exactly like my 19 year old sister. She is always complaining about how guys at her college only think about drinking, drugs and sex and that they are pretty dense. So I told her to either wait until she goes to graduate school or find someone a little older (21-25).
That's the same advice I'd give you too. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 7/30/2008 3:08:04 PM | heck I will nibble on this one Iam bored
Your superiority has clearly defined him as genetically deficient knuckle dragger.
Date a computer | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 7/30/2008 3:16:58 PM | Some women expect men to be mind readers,
I dont know of any straight men who can do this.
The nearest is a gay man who thinks a bit more like a woman.
I had an ex wife like that, I was expected to kno0w how to touch her and what to say at the right time.
I got fed up of her tantrums in the end and threw her out. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 7/30/2008 3:58:58 PM |
Can this type of relationship work, with a simple-minded man and a complex, intelligent woman?
OP, It has been proven that woman tend to mature both emotionally and physically at a younger age than their male peers. You are beginning to know yourself, think about life, and are in the process of determining what it is you want from a partner and you may need a few partners to figure that out. Your guy is still living in the here and now, having a good time. It doesn't sound like he is even ready to consider a long term committment. What do you actually talk about? Does he respond to what you consider important?
I married my high school sweetheart at 18. We loved each other and the sex was great. He got busy with a business, and outgrew his need for me, while I stayed home with our 3 kids I had by the age of 22. We grew apart. We both changed, and by 29, we were history.
If you are both in the habit of drinking and doing drugs at least 3 times per week, as your profile states, you must realize that you may not be operating on equal playing fields. Mood altering substances affect different people in different ways. Me? When I drink...I often get more conversational and more intense. My last guy? He became so mellow, he didn't have a thing to say. So...theres' maybe a few other factors to consider.
You have lots of time to find 'the one'. Relax...enjoy...be independant and make your own rules. Find out who you are and in the meantime...enjoy great friendships and great sex!
Just an observation, and please...no offense intended. I realize that you may have a profile on POF, simply for the Forums, but your profile does not go anywhere near describing you as complex and intelligent, although I am sure that you are.
By the way...I'm sorry if I sounded like a 'Mom', but I am one.
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 7/30/2008 6:54:55 PM | He's sweet and extraordinarily handsome, and amazing in bed, but when we talk, no lights go on.
Everyone is focusing negatively on the "handsome and amazing in bed" remarks (as if those aren't positive traits in an adult, romantic relationship), but have totally ignored the first thing the OP said: He's sweet. That's nothing to be sneezed at, any more than an intellectual connection.
It actually could be that he's not quite as "simple-minded" as you believe, OP, if in fact you are saying he's not intelligent rather than just having an uncomplicated way of life. This doesn't apply if you're talking about such a divide that you can't have any sensible conversations, but let's be honest: some people who "think a lot" and are "pretty f-ed up" to boot can make for some pretty mind-numbing, one-sided conversations if you're on the receiving end. Especially if you're smitten with the gabber and and don't want to hurt their feelings.
Yes, it can work. First, you've just got to be honest with yourself about exactly how "complicated" you really are (as opposed to just being the type of person who wants to verbalize many thoughts), and how "simple" he really is (as opposed to someone who prefers keep his profound thoughts to himself).
So, again, it CAN work. But if it's to the point where you're resenting his "simple-mindedness" more than appreciating his good nature, good looks and the good sex, it probably won't. Don't let it get to the point where you start demeaning him. You'll feel bad about that later. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 8/3/2008 6:13:35 PM | I've dated great guys who just arnt on my level mentally at all. All they wanna do is laugh and joke about and like you Im more complex than that. I care about the world I live in, politics and people etc. I like someone who has opinions even if they differ from mine. I want a man with some intelligent thoughts in his head. If you can get two dumb asses together great but you dont appear to be one. He could just be a bit of a joker or he could be dumb and floating through life. If you can accept that great but if you cant sooner or later your going to start acting like his mum! I say move on to someone more interesting x  | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 8/3/2008 6:54:13 PM | | That would never work for me. That's why many of my relationships haven't worked out, in fact. As a Gemini of reasonable intelligence, I have to have someone who can keep my mind stimulated, among other things. I get bored and distracted very easily. I'd go nuts being with a man whose only motivation is football, Hooters, smoking pot and having sex. Well, the sex part is okay. But just with me. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 8/3/2008 6:55:50 PM | "I really enjoy being with him, he gives me some light in my life and makes me happy, but I dont learn anything from him and I know this can never go anywhere. Does that mean I should break up with him? "
Ok..so after reading this thread..I am laughing to myself at how much more in life you have to learn my dear. If you want to settle for a punk who lives to smoke weed all day and f&ck all night then I say congrats..but if you so decide to come back to reality with the rest of us..you will kick his ass to the curb. If you are really as intelligent as you are trying to convince us you are..then the answer to your questions are very simple. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 8/3/2008 6:58:16 PM | Then again, there are men who look like he ^^^ does who can be dumber than a pile of bricks and I wouldn't care the least little bit! Whew!
Lucky for you you're far too young for me.
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:04:12 PM | | You should calm down yourself you are pushing him to use his other head rather than his main one no one can use two heads at the same time. | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:55:37 PM | Actually OP, single man and complex woman could be a good match, as complex man and simple woman could be.
But the lack of communication -outside of the covers- in your case- would concern me. Drinking beer and smoking pot?? Bad bad habits....Please don't settle for that, even if you are young......there are other men, with healthier habits. | |
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wolftx
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Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 73 | |
| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:25:46 PM |
I've dated great guys who just arnt on my level mentally at all.
This thought prompts another one in my head, not particularly aimed at the poster of the quote. Intelligence is a funny thing to measure and grasp. I once saw a TV commercial about a high-resolution screen, and the selling guy said "I'd like to show you how great the picture is, but I can't because this [knocks on the camera, i.e., your TV screen] isn't." His point is that you cannot see a better resolution with a lower resolution screen. My point is that it requires a higher and all-encompassing level of intelligence to be convinced that the other's is lower. With some pot heads that can be a valid call, but in general I would not assume that I am all that to be the judge. I look at it like a Venn diagram. You can see your set (your intellect) and the intersection (what both of you can grasp), which is almost by definition smaller. You cannot see the other set minus the intersection (what he can grasp but you cannot). There could be nothing, a little or a lot.
Has it ever occurred to any of the 'complex' and 'more intelligent' people that perhaps you did not get the point? Many jokes and comments have a literal layer that comes across as stupid or simple and a witty layer that is hilarious. If you have ever heard a seemingly stupid person comment on how 'stoopid' someone else is, and you thought about how he is not 'up there' and simply did not 'get it', you understand what I mean.
In fact, people who indicate how intelligent they are may come across as arrogant, unless they can back it up with an IQ test or equivalent. And if they really have something to brag about, they should know better than to do so. Remember the guy that said "I know that I know nothing"? Is he stupid or brilliant? | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:26:46 PM | I know this can never go anywhere. Does that mean I should break up with him? Im 19, not exactly pushing for marriage, but can this relationship work?
Clearly you've answered your own question. Congratulations :)
Remember the guy that said "I know that I know nothing"? Is he stupid or brilliant?
Benjamin Disraeli - "It's a wise man who knows nothing" :) | |
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| Simple man and complicated woman
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:29:56 PM | | Relationships like this only work if you're willing to enjoy them for what they are. You seem like you're pining for someone that you can connect with on a higher level... so you need to decide if he's what you need. | |
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