| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:02:55 AM |
just remember generally, there is more than one person to blame. It takes two people to have a baby, relationship, or argument-----two people should take the blame.
Which is one of my points of the entire post.
It's called, OP, taking responsibility (not blame) for one's own actions, reactions, thoughts, words, feelings, lives, troubles, pain, etc.
Not everyone blames everyone and everything else for what happens to them - it's a huge life lesson - to learn to take responsibility.....funny how so many take responsibility fo the 'good stuff', but blame others for the 'bad stuff'.
We just can't see we're responsible for both when our ego's are so happy to dump cause of suffering on others.
Sadly, it's part of the problem in this society, along with the entitlement issue - but many are slowly but surely learning the only way to change something in oneself (pain) is to see how one is responsible for it....for then and only then one can truly heal (so they say). | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:05:23 AM | Ooooh, blame cards---collect the whole set! I see your tomfoolery and raise you an asshattery. I don’t lay down blame cards. If I did, I’d be playing Old Maid for the rest of my life.
Though it’s obvious that there are a plethora of folks who enjoy pointing fingers rather than recognizing and owning their own accountability, there are also a lot of jerks, boors, and dysfunctional people in the world. When it comes to dating, there are people who will use you; there are those who possess nary a smidgen of decorum, couth or manners when getting to know someone; there are those who still have the bitter taste of past relationships in their mouths; there are liars, cheaters, abusers, et al. So, while those dealing out the blame cards may not possess any self awareness or cognizance of the role they play in making poor relationship choices, it does not mean that the cards they threw were not deservedly dealt to an asshat.
Personally, I do not focus on the negative outlook of others. The only outlook I control is mine, and I make it positive. Besides, people tossing out whiny blame cards makes great forum fodder.  | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:17:32 AM | Storm, to answer your question, no most people cannot take no for an answer, men or women, nor can they admit when they are wrong or messed up on something. One reason people have a hard time getting to know me is because I tell it like it is and people cannot handle the truth. I think that is a lot of the same as the "blame cards"
If we could all just grow up a little bit as storm said and not get offended because somebody rejects us or doesn't give the answer we want or what we want without getting all upset. On the other hand I also don't get why people are afraid to tell somebody the truth. Example: people get all upset because they get no replies to emails or IM's. How hard is it for anybody to politely say I am not interested. This world we live in is nothing but blame now instead of standing up for our own actions. | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:21:20 AM |
Personally, I do not focus on the negative outlook of others. The only outlook I control is mine, and I make it positive. Besides, people tossing out whiny blame cards makes great forum fodder.
I always give my deck of cards a good shuffle before I enter the threads. | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:52:53 AM | Actually, this isn't a new idea the OP has. The branch of social psychology known as transactional analysis (TA) came of with the idea that some people collect trading stamps. Those who are roughly my age or older may remember that grocery stores used to give out stamps with each purchase; you'd paste these into little booklets, and after getting enough filled up you could shop in a catalog and trade them in for, say, a toaster. Each chain of stores had its own stamps, which were different colors.
The basic idea TA developed was that people would collect emotional stamps of various sorts (and colors) in their transactions with other people, and when they got a certain amount (having filled up their book) they would feel entitled to trade them in for, say, an emotional outburst directed at someone they knew (though it could be a random stranger). For example, someone could collect "having been hurt" stamps, and when the resentfulness was of a sufficient quantity they'd then feel justified in dumping out all at once how much they felt they'd been wronged and unappreciated. So it's perfectly normal human behavior and not really particularly new. People pretty much do it all the time, to one degree or another, so it's something to just kind of expect.
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:59:12 AM | | Yep, until people take responsibility for how they got into the bad situations and quit blaming others, they will continue to find themselves in more bad situations and whining about why does this always happen to me!!! Whhaaaaaaa | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 12:15:16 PM |
Yep, until people take responsibility for how they got into the bad situations and quit blaming others, they will continue to find themselves in more bad situations and whining about why does this always happen to me!!! Whhaaaaaaa
you are wise beyond your years my dear.  | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 12:23:57 PM |
Like "all men want sex" that's a blame card. That the man they was dating just wanted sex and not the LTR. The fact is that yes most people have strong sex drives. So yes there is fact in this statement. But for the most part it is seen in a "negative light." Not the scientific fact of it. It's a "blame card" to throw at the s/o.
I don't think all men wanting sex, is a blame card, it's just a fact, just like all women want sex. I would think that people would discuss if they are just looking for sex, or LTR, so if someone says they are looking for LTR, and they are not, then yeah, they should get the blame for deceiving someone.
But I do agree that people do like to blame someone else for whatever. I have a boss like that, it's never her, always someone else. I don't have a problem taking the blame for what I have done wrong, but I won't take the blame, when something was not my fault. I could use some of those blame cards!
I've always wondered, do they really believe they didn't do anything wrong, or just not willing to admit it? | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 12:24:25 PM | | ...because love is a game that people play. It is like poker. A straight flush beats a full house so keep dealing those cards.... | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:11:19 PM |  it rained...i have no control over that but I certainly can blame and take it out on my partner.....hehe | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:18:50 PM | We do tend to lay blame on others for things we do wrong or for things
that go wrong in our lives....regardless of it being relationship/marriage,
work, or whatever the situation may be.
Until we can accept responsility for our actions, it will always be someone
else's fault. After all, none of us want to be thought of as a failure.
Maturity, Communication and Experience are great teachers. | |
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:30:49 PM | Simple really; it's very easy for anyone to point the finger and not taker responsibility.
It's also a rare thing to be able to communicate effectively and REALLY listen.
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| Blame Card's
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:36:26 PM | Deal me in please.
Listening is hard to do if you don't know what active listening is. Showing intrest in the topic, para-phrasing and so on.... and I still can't get it right. | |
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