| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:46:22 AM |
At least she is being safe.
Could be worse, she could get pregnant or an STI.
At least she is being safe.
Could be worse, she could get pregnant or an STI.
At least she is being safe.
Could be worse, she could get pregnant or an STI.
At least she is being safe.
Could be worse, she could get pregnant or an STI.
At least she is being safe.
Could be worse, she could get pregnant or an STI.
Makes you miss the Smothers Brothers doesn't it?? | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:50:59 PM | | Baconaneggs, it sucks but once pandoras box is open you can't close it. Maybe you should also try a chastity belt and active gps on her car. lol | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:06:52 PM | I'd feel sorry for that guy whoever she's using those condoms with...
Honeyyyyy.....where is my baseball bat....?
( I am super serious )
 | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:42:16 PM | i would like to add something about teenage "boys". not all of them are out "getting it". many lie to be part of the group. many are not yet interested or more nerdy/shy-- a plus factor in today's high tech world, by the way.
however, having addressed that "segment" many other boys and girls are sexually active way sooner. and by the way, if the boys were more sexually active than the girls, then who were they doing "it" with-- i might ask???
what i would like to say about boys, is that whereas the tradition has been to worry about the girls and pregnancy, the new parental fear is to have your "boy" be accused of statutory rape or just plain rape. this is not to say that girls are not raped, as clearly they are ( and so are boys "molested" ). but it is to say, that some consenting teens of both sexes, when "caught" , will blame the other participant so as to look "good" with their denial parents.
thus, most parents of boys fear that as the boys turn 18, they might have 16 year old girlfriends and whammo! they get blamed for the consensual act, although the girls are usually "considered" more mature at a younger age. into jails/prisons they go. neither sex gets out scott free in these years of sexual activity way too young.
as to war, that is a travesty that children are sent to war. there is no argument there and the hippocracy of this society absolutely overwhelms me.
as to it being natural in some societies for girl children to be sexual, most of those children also die at an earlier age. so you cannot compare societal apples to oranges. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:55:09 PM | | great ya lets get her on birth control when shes already using condoms umm NEGATIVE than she will be less likely to use the condoms. If the condoms are used properly there just as much as effective as birth control but birth control doesn't protect you from stds. | |
|
| |
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:31:46 PM | | I have to disagree. It is not as effective using only condoms especially with teens. They are also more apt to skip them if they don't have them convenient. As soon as I knew my daughter had sex I got her on Depo. Teenage pregnancy is not one of the choices in my house. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:07:00 PM | Well, first reaction as a father. . . the boy is gonna die. second reaction, thank god she's using them.
As a father of a teen boy (16 and still a virgin, thank god) I say educate them. Keep the line s of communication open and as judgment free as possible. That is how my son and I correspond and before some ass out there says some dumbass comment yes, my son would tell me if he had sex. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:25:54 PM | Pull a shotgun on all of her friends until I find out which one stuck their "loaded gun" in her and then pull him aside and have a man to man talk.....involving a pistol and a warning to stay away.
And then she would be locked in her room until she was 30. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:54:21 PM | | Maybe she opened a couple to see what they looked like, and well maybe felt like somehow. Best to talk to her about it in a open and caring way. JMO. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/20/2008 6:31:31 AM | I'd be happy she's using protection and getting it herself instead of relying on the guy to get it but I'm going to admit, I had sex at fifteen and even though at the time it felt like a good decision, it's probably not the smartest thing to do. You're not really ready for the most part. LOL. As corny as that sounds. But everyone is different.
I'd want to know who the hell she is having sex with. Not because I'd kill them, but just to make sure it's not some older guy taking advantage of her (hey, I was fifteen he was twenty-one... we'll just say he wasn't in it for 'love').
I'd make sure she knew how to properly use them (some people don't). Make sure she knows the basics of everything like you're only supposed to use them once (some people reuse them lol!). Make sure it's a good choice brand-wise and what not.
But I'd tell her that it's her decision in the end. That whatever I say isn't going to change anything really. But that I hope she understands that this is a 'big deal'. That she needs to understand she's putting herself at risk even when using condoms.
But from a fifteen year olds perspective, you just went through her stuff. She's gonna be pissed. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/20/2008 7:01:05 AM | This is not a topic that should be brought up by "finding" condoms. If it is then thank your lucky stars that she is smart enough to use them. By the age of 15 the sex talks (yes I said TALKS) should be normal and regular.
In our household condoms are not hidden, I make sure that they are always available. My daughter knows it isn't a ticket to go around having sex. It is a safety net for the eventuality that it will happen. While I would love to believe that she will save herself for the "right" person, I am not naive enough to think that it will happen like that. So when it does happen I want to know that my daughter has every safety precaution available to her. She just started birth control for that very reason. Reacting after they are sexually active is missing the boat on this and perpetuating the teen pregnancy cycle. Trust me every time we have any discussions about sex there is part of me that screams inside NO NO NO...but I can't show that. She needs to know she has my complete support of her decisions and that I will guide her to make the correct ones.
Empowering our teens to make good and smart choices.
Sil | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 6/20/2008 7:11:19 AM | Oooh! This is a loaded topic!
My little girl is only 4, but after watching my stepkids being raised, I've come to the conclusion that it's best to put my own emotions aside and go with the scientific information when it comes to sex, the biological parts anyway--pregnancy and disease. I hope I won't be "snooping" through my daughter's drawers (but from a Mom's point of view, if the kid won't put away his/her own laundry, he/she should be expecting Mom in the drawers and should maybe find a better hiding spot), however, I was first sexually active at that age and I don't see it getting any better with future generations. You can only do so much as a parent to your own children; but there is NOTHING you can do about how others parent their kids. And while you're working all day or whatever, your child is in school without you or your supervision with all those other kids for a minimum of 6-8hrs a day, 5 days a week--they're going to pick things up. But I think this is the "easy" part. If you can't talk to your kid yourself, there is always Planned Parenthood, school counselors, and likely several other resources. What I worry about is the emotional aspect of it. Peer pressure is a killer and all teenagers--especially those without a strong self-esteem--will be exposed to sex in some way during their school years. I'm 37 and still have "issues" with the emotional aspects of sexual relationships. I think the best you can do is to try to raise your child to know that he/she has a right to his/her own feeling, ideas and decisions and to be confident with them regardless of what his/her friends/peers think. Easier said than done. I'm a single mom now, raising a little girl in conjunction with the damned tv and ads--it's an uphill battle. Wish my daughter could learn from my experiences and her Dad's, but she's just as stubborn as either of us and will do her own thing. I'm just going to do my best to stand by her and guide her along the way. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/10/2008 11:27:22 PM | at 14 my daughter had the birds and bees talk. Whch opened up open communcation with her and me about these things, At 15 i knew she was sexually active with her boyfriend. I was glad she was using protection. I could have been hypocritical and said that she shouldnt be but i trusted her then, and looking back i was the same at her age, thogh i was younger when i started.
My son knew where to get them from as well at same age.
Did i want to know about there sexual habbits? Well was shock to me but it is natural progression in life. Though some embaressing times have happened.
Though i am still only amother and now the kids 19 and 20 are still fit and healthy....
I must have done somethig right
carole | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 1:56:23 AM | | I agree with so much on here; makeing sure she is healthy, safe, and educated. The most important thing, after physical safety/responsibility; is honest open communication. Do NOT come down on her; do not express that you are sad she started so early, why do it, it won't do any good, and may interfere with future conversations because she doesn't want to disappoint you. Bottom line: the cats out of the bag, and you can't back up; so make sure shes safe; and talk to her openly, and with respect, so she will feel comfortable coming and talking about other issues in the future. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 3:15:30 AM | I think eazk made a very important point, it is comparatively easy to deal with the physical issues of making sure she has access to birth control and knows how to use it effectively, but this info is generic and most kids access it with or without their parents.
A parent who is shocked to find condoms amongst their kid's belongings has to review their relationship with their kid. You expect teenagers to have a private life, and we dont necessarily want to know about every sordid detail but I would want my guidance and support to be useful enough to my kid for them to want it out on this issue.
I'd also think very much about whether she was emotionally prepared for the relationships she was having and whether there might be any emotional needs she was trying to address in the wrong way. If she has self esteem issues or is craving affection as many teenagers do, this could be her way of tackling it but there are better ways that a parent can help with. Sexual activity in young girls can also be brought on by similar issues to those which result in self harm. A parent should be sure the condoms wasn't a sign of a deeper issue than just sex.
I talked to my stepdaughters and my own boys about sex in increasing levels of frankness as they grew up as soon as I started to be aware of things being said in the playground. 'Always balance the myth with the reality of the wider picture' was my logic. My partner wasn't all together happy with this approach but I'm sure it was for the best. Being so open with them made it much easier for them to approach me, and whilst it was still theory rather than fire fighting!
With my 17yr old now, we both talk about our dating experiences, him in more depth than me! The focus is much more about relationships, expectations, responsibilities, respect... I can be confident that he is as safe as he can be sexually and its delicate teenage emotions and understanding that I concentrate on guiding him through. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 3:37:43 AM | | Firstly you should take pride in the fact you have raised a sensible daughter, now being a male and knowing what I used to get up to I would make sure she had all the education she needed and ensure she would come to me in the future by praising her common rather than berating her behaviours. Then I would put on the chastity belt and lose the key until she was more like 30 than 21` to try and help her not make those silly long term decisions based on sex. My old grandad who raised me used to say to any suiters of my mom that he could shoot the eye out of a bird in full flight so you better bring her back the way you found her, probably my opinion. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:05:09 AM | I'd be unhappy that she was having sex but I'd be relieved to know that at least she was taking precautions as well.
Ed | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:28:38 AM | | i wouldn't tell her i saw them but if she wasn't on birthcontrol i would take her to get some. im guessing by this point she would already know about safe sex since my parents talked about it with me when i was really young, and they talked about it often so i always knew BEFORE i started having sex. other than that i would be sad that she is growing up but happy she is being smart about it. | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 1:10:51 PM | sam i respect you for your input
i agree with what you say and and have had same as well
and talk about most things with my two as well
good on you
carolex | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 1:45:18 PM | | I think today one should start educating there children about many of the worldly things from birth. With the diseases floating around today whether male or female they should have full knowledge accurate knowledge long long before 15... | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 2:51:16 PM | Finding condoms does not mean that your daughter is having sex. Improves the odds greatly but there are other reasons too. Here are some I've done/know someone who did.
1. Given in health class
2. Bought them just to see how they work before it becomes an issue
3. Gag gift
4. Daring party decorations
Remember to calm down before the talk. Even if she is sexually active the world isn't over.
P.S. Birth control pills have serious heath risks. Please don't just blindly sign your daughter(s) up! | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 3:48:54 PM |
P.S. Birth control pills have serious heath risks. Please don't just blindly sign your daughter(s) up!
so does pregnancy, your point? | |
|
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 4:15:35 PM | | I agree and disagree. Being a mom of two daughters my maternal side says wtf, 15? I lost my virginity at 15/16 and I definitely was not ready nor prepared...You get taught in school about sex ed, if your lucky, your parents teach you some things, but when it happens it is an act you can't take back...Not that the guy was a jerk, but if I knew back then what I know now...I wouldn't have done it...I don't agree with the parents providing the condoms and such just like I don't agree with parents philosophies that kids doing drugs and buying them smokes and liquor and having them do it at home cause at least they know they are safe, is the most stupid thing I have ever heard...I didn't come from a very good home and I was looking for love in the places I shouldn't have been...I have a friend that at 29 she is still a virgin, her parents are still together, they raised her extremely well, they are amazing people, and I know that if I grew up in that household, I wouldn't have fallen so many times in my life b/c they would have been there before I even stumbled in the first place, teaching me what is good and not good....Teach your children well...its starts at birth and never ever ends lol | |
|
ils99
|
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 100 | |
| 15 year old daughter and condoms.
Posted: 7/11/2008 4:29:03 PM | When I first read the post by the OP, I originally thought "why is a 15 year old having underaged sex in the first place?" There's a reason the legal age of consent is set at 18. (I should point out, I first had sex at 18, and even now I still think 18 is too young, so 15 is a little disturbing in my view.) But then I thought well, on the bright side at least she is being responsible and using protection... If I had a 15 year old daughter I'd probably be shocked if I discovered used condoms, but then again, probably not too surprised either. Who knows, maybe even in 10 years' time, society's values will change, and maybe the age at which teenagers have sex will be even lower. (But I really hope it won't be) If I were to educate my daughter on sex, pregnancy risks and STDs, there'd be no beating about the bush.
Also, here's something I thought I'd point out to all you parents out there...
Just because a 15 year old girl doesn't have a boyfriend, it doesn't mean she isn't sexually active. She might just be having casual sex with a series of guys. I know this because I'm a teenager myself (but barely) and not so long ago, I remember I used to hear stories back when I was in college (high school in America) about classmates who had sex with such-and-such while their parents were out, and they were all only 14-16 at the time. Just the other day I heard that my friend's ex, who is only 16, is having casual sex (read: FWB) with a guy in her class . So parents, don't be too naive when it comes to the sex, alcohol and drugs topic. You probably know that there are so many things that parents don't know about their own teenage children not just related to sex and drugs, you may even be shocked/surprised about them. A little advice I thought I should point out :) | |
|
Home
login 
