| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:41:11 AM | brown_eyed_woman said:
Some take this to a strange level...red flags appear everywhere, even when they are not really there. Those ones make all things complicated...not just dating...so you are probably better off without them. Yeah - another dating site in its "getting to know someone" phase, uses the concepts of "must haves" and "can't stands", which are cool ideas in my opinion. We all have our faults, but some of those faults might be "can't stands" (what you might call red flags). A "must have" is a positive trait, such as the person being openly affectionate.
Like I always say, the idea that we decide consciously what positive traits we must have, and what negative traits we could not stand, is key to finding someone... but what do I know - I'm still single!!  | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:01:20 AM | Dating is still simple......just jump into bed to get the fix then either keep it or move on! 
Ok......You've just got to steer clear of the bullshitters and party people. Dating is the get to know you phase and old fashioned make sure of the handholding then kiss beforehand as that's a committment and stick with it. Men don't give a fuk about the sides when the Ultimate seafood platter is right in front of them.  | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:25:31 AM |
A lot seem to forget the purpose of dating, and wind up thinking they are in a LTR when they have only dated a few months. Dating is the 'get to know you' phase. If when getting to know someone, you see traits that you dont like, you move along to someone new
Id be happy if I could just get to the dating stage! I find myself being judged by my profile...I have pics of myself doing the things I like, Just because I wear a helmet doesnt make me a biker, Its just one of the many things I like to do!
Im starting to think that I should just keep it simple, one pic, many hobbies, nice guy!
maybe that way when there is the physical attraction "maybe" that person will at least stop and say Hello! | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:01:45 AM | Ehhhh...don't worry about it firesign. Normal people do make it simple and regard themselves being in a relationship after they've dated 3 or 4 times taking a month or two....hence all the married and LTR out there.
Yes, we all grow picky as we get older but most people are that 'same' picky so we overlook those small bad traits while dating and concentrate on making 'the whole' work. If they keep skipping around due to those petty traits then they'll end up alone cause most people will know about their ways. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:15:27 AM | I'd highly recommend a song by Honeymoon Suite.....The Big Prize
#4...what does it take
Please listen to it as it's a great to song!!!
If I could grow wings, I would fly high to the sky, to give you what you need as the heavens above wanted for me too for our love. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:51:54 AM | It seems like we put too much pressure on this whole dating thing. I guess when we were younger, time was inmaterial, lonliness was unusual surrounded by hundreds of other students, and we didn't even know we had limitations or that anyone else did!
Now, I think, we really know life can be tough, and although we all fantasize about someone with all the things we want and don't want, the truth of the matter is getting hurt is so painful. It starts to come down to weighing do I want to be lonely or do I want to subject myself to be vunerable and run into someone who may put your heart through the wringer because they too are afraid of getting hurt and pull away when you get emotionally involved.
Obviously, we all would like to meet someone we find attractive, and is at the same place in life (whatever that place you are in) but the hardest step is a true leap of faith..... and for me, (I'm here still fishing) finding out that they are not ready to take the same leap of faith.
DATING IS TURNING OUT TO BE ONLY FOR THE BRAVE OF HEART. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:01:07 AM | I'm not unrealistic at all. I just KNOW Brad Pitt is reading these things and will be contacting me very soon.
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:52:01 PM | dating was easier when I was younger...now a first date seems like a job interview as opposed to a chance to get to know the other peson a bit.
I have been asked on several first dates about my credit score credit history, income and what investments I have....so is dating more about what yo have than who you are?
TRhe younger days we were broke but at least we had fun. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:31:03 PM | Well Petite and Passion,
God gave you precious gifts such as your beauty and intelligence so do yourselves a favor and phone a little then meet guys for the real thing instead of relying so much on chat-to-know because too many of you get burnt from that.
Sure, we love sex just like you do but not all guys are whores and look for the insides more.
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:19:25 PM | Dating was simple?
Granted back in high school ya'll had your group of friends who'd tell someone from another group of friends that you thought someone in their group was cute and thus if feelings were shared you'd be "dating" and then "going steady" and so on...
Sure doesn't work like that here with on-line dating. You actually have to make the first move and contact someone who captures your interest. Or else you sit back and wait for someone to contact you. Basically you're either passive or aggressive.
I think dating becomes more difficult as you age. You learn more about values with each life experience and more about who you are as a person. Basically are you willing to compromise your values for a relationship for the sake of being with someone.
 Maybe the OP should have entitled the post Remeber the old days when dating was done the old fashioned way and computers didn't make finding a date so cold and impersonal...lol...
Brat | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:46:58 AM | There was a time when it was simpler, but I think it was just the phase of life we were in. Responsibilities were less, the stakes werent so high, and being lonely wasnt such a big issue. I miss those days myself, because it seems like its gotten extremely difficult these days. If I can even get a woman to give me her phone number..and actually TALK to me (not just TEXT!)..its a big deal.
Gotta keep rolling with the changes, though. If you dont keep putting yourself out there and dating, youll never meet anyone. So as much as it sucks, we gotta deal with it and hope that Ms/Mr Right is out there someplace. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:46:25 AM | | Vaguely...but the world changed. Men always had this tendency to keep shopping, shopping and shopping, but the internet makes it so much easier. There will always be another female flesh walk by with a new hair color, different body, etc. and all new combinations thereof. Men have so much more opportunity to keep looking for girls half their ages. I don't think I've missed anything that I have to go back and look for on any of the sites. I had really thought that I'd meet somebody online because I did get treated so much better. But I'm just a numbered pic, if that. It's still possible that I'll walk into somebody at a campground, or maybe someone who knows me will suddenly decide I'm worthy of them, but even those people are in this continuous shopping mode. So no, dating didn't used to be like this. Doesn't sound good for the future of our culture:( | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:54:22 AM | | Or what about breaking up? In high school you had to talk to the peson face to face. It was/is not always easy but it is the best way to do it. In the last 4 years my now ex fiancee and another serious girlfriend broke up with me by sending an e-mail. What happened to telling the other person your thoughts and feelings? Today people hide behind computer screens and do not want personal contact if it will be the least bit awkward. Communication and personal contact are the key and it seems we are losing that. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:59:07 AM | | Yeah that's tough to take:( But in person, sometimes people just walk around like "ok, today is the day that I officially start ignoring you. Guess that means I don't like you anymore" so there can be advantages to getting an email.... | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:05:00 AM | Exciting1,
You're so right! I felt the same way... Keep your chin up! You're a beautiful woman, don't give up! | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:34:41 AM | | Thanks, but I'm just really fed up, with both online and in person. I'm keeping my page listed at least for now but I'm not initiating anything new. Yes, I longggg for the days back when a man would get to know youuuu for who you are without having to shop the entire world:( But not to be. So, I'm taking a step back from it. At least that will reduce the time I spend dealing with them on an individual basis. Some interesting forums on here though. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:25:17 AM | I hear ya Petite,
If you have your life together then you don't need all that chat or phone work as meetings mean 95% more than 90% of what was chatted or phones. Long distance is just asking for a heartache or headache.
Heck, I remember when I talked for hours on the phone with somebody I haven't met. Didn't write down on a scratch pad all that was said, just got the important stuff within 10-15 mins then the rest was just a filler for my boredom. I would lay the phone down and do other things then come back and she was still talking about her bad past. No thanks! | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:02:35 AM | EHHH...now hold on here EXCITING1 lol
Don't put us down when you're just throwing yourself out to any man (especially hippies) on your profile hence 43. Step back and re-think about yourself before you want to complain about us as obviously you're not having any better luck than a man who has only 2 or 3.
We don't care to just shop around, too much hassle, one good one suffices for anybody. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:29:17 AM | Sorry, didn't mean to sound like I was putting all guys down... just the players... and actually, things are looking great here! so, have an awesome day!!      | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:48:28 PM | | Well, if fishing is "throwing yourself out to any man" then fish has X # female members who fish. And it's even free. So fishing is "throwing yourself out to any man" these days?? wow. I'm not even initiating contacts anymore, for your information. And I give the no thanks regularly and am now doing the deletes to the repeats. Yes I like long hair on guys and expressed a preference, not a requirement, lest some guys with long hair think women don't like it as some think. Nope, not much luck right now. I've been stood up about 6 times in a row, once on my birthday?????? by a guy who had planned a few days in advance etc.??? and others before him and after, both I had made first contact and he had too. So that's not even necessarily related to these guys who are shopping the world. No, "one good suffices for anybody" does not apply to every guy, and I would say even the majority of them these days. Do I have to like it? No. Does it mean I won't ever "fish"? Almost, not exactly. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:13:28 PM | | At least youre getting some amusement from the losers youre communicating with, Exciting1. I havent even had an email from an interested party in nearly 6 weeks. About to give-up here too. The level of apathy, shallowness, and pettiness these days is going to make us all die alone one day, I think. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:54:59 PM | At least ya'll are gettin replies to your ads. I live just outside of a town of about 18,000 and yes, it's a college town but I'm not THAT young...lol...
Still, computers are wonderful but when it comes to finding a date, and this is just my opinion so please don't bash me for saying this, I think the jury is still out...
But I'm still here and gonna keep on tryin
Brat | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:30:43 AM |
What do you think would happen if we all just started being bold and made an impulse move .... for example, you're washing your car and you notice the opposite sex doing the same...they look interesting and like a person you would like to get to know.
Wouldn't it just be "simple" to walk over to them extend your hand and ask....are you single?
check for a ring before you bother walking over. then again i suppose it doesn't really matter in today's society | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:30:43 AM | | Amusement? hmm...the birthday stand-up guy even tried to throw in maybe the salmonella from the tomatoes, and there still has not been one reported case in east tennn; we only later got one in middle tenn; he also threw in that he'd taught his vacation bible school class every night last week; he had been sick for days. Now he didn't know this when he had planned anything with me in the same time period. Another guy in the same city the next week had messaged me and we talked and he wanted to meet the next day afternoon, so I said ok. He gave me his number, said he'd call in the morning when he got done teaching his vacation bible school class. When he did not call quickly, I dialed his number and he said yes to his first name but he sounded confused, and I talked to him for a minute saying I talked to you last night, and he was sounding so confused and said "last night??" I said " maybe you were drunk on the internet" and hung up. Haven't heard from either one of these bible school teachers in that city. hmph. I had first been supposed to meet a different guy in a different town between here and there, but I caught him in the email quick enough that he actually cancelled but I figure that he didn't really want to meet even though he still says he does but hasn't. There were some other local ones before these. Most of these guys, esp the ones I described, had seemed like possibly good matches for me. And for the record, I believe that only one could be described as a "hippie" . darn. | |
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