| What should I have done? Spontaneous encounter.
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:18:57 AM |
Dang as I'm writing this out, I could have at least say "hey did you notice we got the exact same drink?". That might have been at least something.
"Nothing like a bottle of (whatever it was) to 'lubricate' your body, eh?"  | |
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| What should I have done? Spontaneous encounter.
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:09:21 PM | Boy, since I've been on this thread some interesting reactions!
Yeah, I think either person striking up a conversation outside a gas station at 11pm is just going to inherently be a tricky proposition--on both ends of the equation. I'm sure he, if a nice guy, is thinking "this is a strange moment in time and place to approach someone" so was searching his options. I was preoccupied with my dud "meet" and didn't really process this entire thing until I was in my car and well on the road.
Rent a husband, I didn't think of his Jag as being neither here nor there in terms of a "dangerous" situation, in fact I wasn't even thinking "danger" cognizantly in this situation at all! (if I was, I would never have even posted this thread as it would not have felt like a missed opportunity to me--I trust my gut ALWAYS in something that feels like "danger"). What his Jag represented to me is this is a person who is successful and not driving a dented in truck his mother gave him like my last boyfriend. ;) I'm definitely ready to move up in the world!
He was nicely casually dressed, very handsome, nice stylish glasses , making great eye contact w/ me, a nice smile and drove a nice car--hence missed opportunity!
I think the best thing I've gotten from you "ask a guys" (esp. you younger guys--dang guys my age can sure be bitter) is to sort of develop a "strategy" so I don't get caught off guard in a spontaneous situation like this and can act in some way other than smiling and driving away. Oh, and the other situation rentahusband is worthy of it's own thread --I met another guy WHILE I was on a "meet" with another guy from here....during the date! The "meet" wasn't go to go anywhere yet I was still being totally polite and not indicating in front of him that I was interested in the other guy (but when he went to the restroom I just said to the other fella "this is a first and last date just so you know"). I did ask his name and he took my hand to shake it and held it for a really long time during the "shake" and we had a little moment there. Then the first guy came back from the bathroom, a tiny bit awkward...now THAT meeting was unexpected. It was totally a casual social situation and people were milling around talking and this "new guy" came up to us and was clearly trying to assess the situation between my "meet" guy and I--it was kind of awkward but another one of those "what do you do?" moments.
But I do have a plan in that regard--I think the guy I met there is probably a "regular" at that event and I do plan on going back there and seeing if I run in to him again. It was great though in showing me there ARE different ways to meet people as long as I get myself out there!
Thanks for all the responses...even the snarky ones gave me a chuckle. 
Oh and Happy Father's Day to any/all of you Dad's out there!  | |
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| What should I have done? Spontaneous encounter.
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:05:13 PM | Well, Katie...
You know what to do next time you see him then, don't you?
Luck = PREPARATION + timing
Have you stocked your car/purse with a pen and paper now, Lady?
More importantly, can you muster the COURAGE to speak up and tell him you were remiss the first time you met?
Hopefully, lightning will strike twice!
GOOD LUCK! | |
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| What should I have done? Spontaneous encounter.
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:30:52 PM | Hi Jade
Ya know, it's these kinds of experiences that make you feel like something good is happening around you..like you're attracting quality people even if it's some "nothing" encounter. I'm sure many of us struggle with the whole "how do I meet people?" question in our busy lives (hence why we are all HERE...duh! ha).
Yes, each experience is a good one to learn from and be better prepared the next time. I saw this forum and thought how great to be able to ask a guy totally randomly to get a variety of answers. Even that has been a learning experience, ya know?
Maybe I think about Mr. Gas Station from time to time because it gives me a good feeling that someone awesome IS coming my way. And wouldn't it be something if I ran in to him again in the big city I live in? I always say "this or something better". (I didn't make that up but feel free to steal it).
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| What should I have done? Spontaneous encounter.
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:14:28 PM | Sounds like Ted Bundy! Except he drove a VW lol
Incidences like this drive me crazy! Would have, could have, should have 
Even when the guy makes the first move, like saying hi, the women clam up
if they are suitably impressed! Come on, give us something to work with! | |
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| What should I have done? Spontaneous encounter.
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:28:18 PM | I know PS--these situations are frustrating. I don't know if you read my second scenario but in that one I did make myself approachable to that guy (even while it was awkward that I was on a "meet" with someone else) but I told him I wasn't interested in that guy (nor do I think he was interested in me I think), that it was a "first and last date" and he smiled, held my hand while shaking it just a little too long (which was cool) said "I get it" , we introduced ourselves with that little "knowing" feeling like we were interested in each other e tc. But he didn't ask for my number or anything either! One of my friends said I should have said goodnight to the one guy in the parking lot, then gone back in to hang out with the other guy. I'm getting braver and maybe I would do that the next time.
Situations like this are so much easier in hindsight. It is good to kind of hash it out though to get options of how to handle things that might not be within one's normal comfort zone.... | |
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| What should I have done? Spontaneous encounter.
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:39:11 PM | And that's exactly what it's all about! Leaving our comfort and safety zones.
When the fear is worst, that should be our signal to act! Courage is always about
overcoming fear! What's the worst thing that could happen?
Forgetting my reference to Bundy!lol
However, just because there is obvious attraction, doesn't mean the person is
available or even wants a relationship with you! But that's what you have to
find out!
I know men should be the aggressor and women find this attractive, but arn't
women tired of having to choose only amongst the guys that hit on them? | |
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| What should I have done? Spontaneous encounter.
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:56:58 PM | Um in both these scenarios I was definitely stepping out of my comfort zone and going out to meet a stranger from HERE. Duh! Did you just read my response where I was on a date with someone else, another guy was showing interest in me, there seemed to be a mutual attraction and I directly let him know I was available and interested and HE didn't take the ball and run with it from there? These "freezes" obviously exist on both sides of the aisle and for some reason it seems the younger set seems open to look at their side and offer a rational, non reactive, helpful response. By my opening question I was/am more than willing to look at my side and be open to suggestions that are helpful and practical. Getting browbeat about the obvious isn't really helpful. I already acknowledged I dropped the ball in that initial scenario--how many ways do you guys think I need to be reminded/chastised about that?
You'd think it was actually some of these men THEMSELVES that tried to talk to me and I walked away from. Who knew asking such an innocent , personal question, was going to trigger some of you fellas. Wild! | |
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