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| Ok.... down the road....
Posted: 6/19/2008 2:43:02 AM | I would be as inclined to look after my wife, as she would tend to me, if and when the time comes. I can't for the life of me understand why someone wouldn't.
27 years ago, we made our vows 'for better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part" and intend to keep them, but as far as I'm concerned, that should go for any committed LTR - married or not. | |
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| Ok.... down the road....
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:39:08 AM |
I would be as inclined to look after my wife, as she would tend to me, if and when the time comes. I can't for the life of me understand why someone wouldn't.
27 years ago, we made our vows 'for better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part" and intend to keep them, but as far as I'm concerned, that should go for any committed LTR - married or not.
Not everyone feels that way. I know when I was married, whenever I was sick or in an accident, I had no support.
My son is just the opposite of his father, he has been married 19 years and last year when his wife was in an accident, he didn't leave her side at the hospital until she was out of ICU, and then only to take a shower! | |
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| Ok.... down the road....
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:37:19 AM | You're right, AgelessWonder, unfortunately. Makes me wonder why people even would say "I love you" to another. It seems hollow and shallow to me, if you only mean it "unless of course, you happen to become ill".
Kudos to your son though, it shows you did a fine job raising him and instilling proper values in him, despite the opposite example he was shown by his father. What a great job you've done! | |
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| Ok.... down the road....
Posted: 6/19/2008 12:24:14 PM |
It's not a gender-specific issue. When people think their lifestyle is in danger, they freak. Of course they do! But many of them regain control and do the right thing.
When a person sees their income halved or expenses multiplied, they fear their lifestyle is in danger. Yes they do, but many of them face that fear and decide that abandoning an ill spouse would be the ultimate act of bad faith,and stick it out.
If this was a non-issue, women would have no qualms about dating unemployed men or look with disdain toward men who don't show some signs of accumulated wealth and earning stability.
So show me all the men lining up to date/marry unemployed single mothers,show me the men lining up to date/marry women with disabilities. Where are the (emotionally sound) men who want to marry retired women on fixed incomes? Men are just as guilty of avoiding women who they see as a bad financial risk.
By leaving, such a woman is not intentionally trying to hurt her spouse, but could only be what she feels is a necessary act.
I'm sure that's VERY comforting to the man who just saw the person he expected to "have his back" through thick and thin,walk out on him because she values her financial security and lifestyle over his emotional comfort?? And are you saying that we women should expect that our men will do the same? Because I believe that was actually at the HEART of the OT,whether the men who frequent these fora feel they can handle being nurse/caregiver if their SO becomes severely incapacitated.
Most of them seem to wonder why it's even a question.
Cindy O | |
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| Ok.... down the road....
Posted: 6/19/2008 1:50:25 PM | It's nice to see that most of us feel the same about sticking it out.
To imply otherwise was, IMO, actually a bit of a folly.
The world would be a sorry place indeed if we all just turned our backs on the person we supposedly loved, only because they became sick.
HnH  | |
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| Ok.... down the road....
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:46:57 PM |
The world would be a sorry place indeed if we all just turned our backs on the person we supposedly loved, only because they became sick.
This world is a sorry place then, because I would guess that it happens a lot more than people are going to admit. Either that, or they stay in the marriage/relationship just for society's sake and the have their little flings on the side.
A lot of people are too selfish when it comes to sickness of their SO.
JMO | |
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