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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:29:40 PM | | A brain tumor isn't a mental illness. A mental illness comes from biochemical abherrations. The brain tumor is anatomical, perhaps with secondary biochemical disturbances. Anyhow my impression of this letter is that you are a drama king and were more interested in having us admire your prose than hearing our thoughts on your 'situaiton'. | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:36:17 PM | First of all, it is extremely ignorant to state this woman was mentally ill, when she in fact had a brain tumor. Stating your OP like this highlights your ignorance in this situation.
How you have romanticised and dramatised your experiences here is not in line with the facts of your actions.
You want a fairy tale. You want to be akin to the heros of Shakespeare, to have a love that would be "written about for centuries". However, you are displaying no realistic aspect to this. You objectified this woman and her medical condition to fit with your dramatised and romanticised view of your relationship with her, and are still continuing to do so fifteen years later. As an earlier poster stated, things like this suggest a mental illness from the writer of this OP, not from the woman of its subject.
Love would have withstood that circumstance of the relationship. If you did truly love that woman, you would have been supporting her and stood by her.
Instead, you are romanticising your ideal of her, which does not include you dealing with the realities of that condition, but rather, your Shakespeare-esque ramblings and nothing else even remotely in touch with reality or a true sense of love.
You behaved in a way that showed your true character. You did not behave in line with how you have contructed your perception of the relationship.
What your posts are showing here is a narcissistic, self-centred, and selfish man who is unable to behave like an adult or relate in a healthy and truly loving way to another woman.
Edit: OP, you are a veteran poster. Therefore, you should be aware that posting private correspondence on a public thread is a clear violation of forum rules. Scorcher did not quote your email directly, nor did he violate any rules. Attempting to direct the posts of another member just highlights even more your self-absorption and inability to see any other point of view than your own questionable one.
Edit: VVVVVV Fabulous, another NG who can't handle that very few on here are going to validate whining. | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:36:32 PM | | I'm done. Think what ever you want, I was just feeling down about it. I guess the lesson here is never share or expose your pain, it's just a target for others. | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:36:43 PM | I enjoyed ready your original OP and thought with the way it was written was in kin to how someone with a "mental illness" may pen...(high genius level)
THEN I read that this poor girl has a brain tumor !!!
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ??? Yes the personality may become,; violent , confused, forgetful even submissive (many other ranges).
Like a mental illness, there certainly is the above noted 'moods'.
BIG DIFFERENCE would be that mental illness can be stabalized with medication , brain tumors cannot...
PLEASE CHANGE YOUR POST TITLE
I for one am extremely insulted !!! I will be going out with my three adult children tonight to celebrate Father's Day,their wonderful Dad passed away 13 years ago from a BRAIN TUMOR.
PS. I very much have a life :)
Just don't go dramatizing your hurt with further insult to the rest of us by describing a woman you apperantly loved with misrepresentation...
My husband had a brain tumor, my daughter is literally at his grave right now crying...
You could have possibly recieved some heartfelt advice IF you had been honest with your girlfriends devestating illness.
I am in no way negating the severity that so many people suffer due to mental illness but MOST OF US are intellegent and strong enough to read a title with 'brain tumor' and not fall to pieces... | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:42:29 PM | "PLEASE CHANGE YOUR POST TITLE
I for one am extremely insulted !!!"
Sorry
Honestly I though the term 'Brain tumor" in the title would have been more upsetting.
All I was trying to say is I loved her and it is not her fault be is ill.
Someone just delete this post and get your lives back. | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:56:02 PM | I myself am classified as a mentally ill woman, Why, because I have depression - not just the blues, or woe is me but a constant I live with. I was also labled by the mental Health Proffessionals in my area as having Bipolar, PTSD,Anxiety Disorder. Well, that's what they gave me. after a number of years of hard work in therapy, being a guniea pig for medications, and yes suicide attempts, and cutting, and research onmy part I learned about what "they" wanted me to believe. I do have a chemical imbalance which does cause the depression, and for me personally the rest was issues that I never dealt with in a healthy manner using proper coping skills.
So ther were issues, and a mental illness. I am very happy and well adjusted in my reasoning and coping skills on how to deal with the old baggage and present probnlems and those that might come up. We as individuals must learn the difference in our teminology of mental illness- hey, I too make jokes about " I'm crazy and have papers to prove it " but I do it only where I know that I will not offend others who do have Mental Illnesses, and yes soem folks do. But don't look at them as damaged goods, find out the whole story if you really love them or want to have them in your life.
All adults no matter their standing in society have baggage from their past only some carry it physically, others emotionally, and some mentally.
Sorry, to hear that the woman you were in love with broke your heart, I can only wish for you happiness, love and comfort in your heart, your mind, your soul. | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:39:13 PM | Well the OP closed his account..I wonder if e1 else that posted in this thread got a nasty e-mail before he left.....interesting to start a topic and then get offended............. And I didnt think I was as hard on him as I could have been......OP wherever you are I wish you well................................ | |
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K-67
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Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 34 | |
| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:47:25 PM | If you restrained yourself in current relations .. a woman might better understand why if you tell her this story from the start .. so it' snot so bad to share ..
It makes perfect sense | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:49:45 PM | I got my nasty e-mail. I want to thank him for that.
I also took a second to go through his history. Since he started posting he had the following:
He was involved in an accident going 55mph, was diagnosed with a mental condition in which he takes cannabis, had his father die, had his cat die, was too sick to attend something and hear voices on the telephone.
Did I miss anything? I am thinking there was truth to the OP, and she left because of his mental condition. | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:05:49 PM | This is a sad story kinda of heartbreaking in many ways..Love is such a special thing, to feel real true love is a gift. You might not never know what the outcome might of been if you went with her, ( but maybe its not meant for you to know )
Most all things happen for a reason in which we all try to search in our minds for that reason from time to time to end up not knowing or makng any real sense of it all. Sometimes we all try to find the reason so we can find ourselves inner peace of mind. I think if you didnt go through what you did you wouldnt know what you have learned today. They say true love comes aroundonce in a lifetime...not true many have found true love again to the point its way better then their first love so never give up hope..reason why its better second or third time is because usually a person has learned by their first/second mistakes. I hope this makes sense...and by the way everyone man or women has some form of mental illness in all of us its human nature ( the human mind is not perfect ) | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:14:56 PM | | ignore the mean people with insults ect...you have not done anything wrong, people are not listening to your words, Your human its ok to express your pain, other humans should care this is another perfect example of the human race being hateful is all their ignorance, ignore other who are cruel | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:42:57 PM |
To put it plainly, she has a brain tumor. It has affected her badly.
not badly enough to not buy a house in a different state and have a new start without you.Why would that make her mentally ill??
Even a brain tumor doesn`t make a person mentally ill. | |
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| My experience with woman who developed a brain tumour.
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:50:19 PM | Most of us who are stricken with Any type of major illness, regardless of where it is in the body - go through several phases and stages of emotion before we accept our lot in life. Depression accompanies a host of illnesses and loss situations.
I just can't imagine "claiming" to Love someone and then leaving them because they get sick. Even more I find it amazing that OP would post this and show how devoted he is to his "True Love". wow
I hope that she was able to get herself to a place where she is with people who have compassion for her while she struggles with her illness.
Just a bump on the head and karma bites another azz.
Good Luck OP .. oh .. and I fixed your title for you! Your welcome!!
A.S.is
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 4:00:52 PM | hello i couldnt agree with you more with what you have just written she needed love from a guy and not to have him leave her
the guy who did it should hang hes head in shame for doing something so low to a lady
for me personally doesnt matter what illness a lady has a guy needs to be with her through the good and bad
is the guy mentally ill himself not the woman i think she is better off without him | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 4:09:09 PM | | Hi Rob-my grandmother was diagnosed at the age of 50 with bipolar disorder. She actually showed symptoms at least 20 years earlier in her life. These symptoms are the same as your girlfriends. Some people believe this disease only has typical symptoms of highs(having fun, spending money, having racing thoughts, sleeping around, not sleeping etc.) and lows (depression, weight loss or gain, fatigue, etc.) Some atypical symptoms of the mania include : anger, violent behavior, impatience, etc. If the person won't accept the fact they have bipolar disorder and they cause someone or themselves physical harm, they can be "Baker Acted" in some states. An ambulance or police car will take the person to a mental hospital where they can be properly diagnosed and medicated accordingly. My grandmother was given lithium, prozac, anti-psychotic, and another drug to relax her for the time being. I wrote a paper about this disease in college and did many hours of research on it. Once the patient accepts that he/she has the disease, it can still be frustrating if one medication doesn't work for the depression or severe mood swings. Lithium has been the best by far over the years for mania. A person may have to try several meds to find the right one for them. I hope this information will help you and remember, if she assaults you again and still says it's your fault, she's in denial and you could get her help even against her will by "baker acting" her if available in your state. (those with bipolar disorder are abusive to the one they're closest to, just like some Alsheimer's patients-my grandma was terrible to my grandfather.) Take care, Robin | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 4:15:15 PM | | smellycat - Are you sure what you are describing didn't come out of some book you read? If not then I commend you on your writing ability - it was just like reading a love story and you couldn't wait for the end. | |
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K-67
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Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 43 | |
| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 4:22:07 PM | Nobody "has" to be with anyone..especially if they are not getting the help that they should be getting "regularly" on their own whether thats counsel, meds or otherwise if they are mentally ill or ill in any way for that matter. If they are still acting out then they are not getting help, not taking the meds or do not have the correct prescript. There are plenty of family , friends etc to let them know something is not right and they should listen. There is not to many imbalanced people that are willing to admit that they are ill. If a person is not within their own mind to get help yet they can manage to buy a new home and relocate? I mean really there is enough coherence there to know that something is not right and to help ones self. I have a hard time thinking this person was abandoned.
I have tried to live with a person that is mentally ill and people who have not walked in those shoes have no idea what it is like. It is a complete nightmare whether you love the person or not.
It' s not just a matter of being uncomfortable, but there are some days when you fear for your life.
Peace
K | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:33:35 PM | Just a couple of short points...
I am going to choose to believe for the moment (for the purpose of discussion) that events transpired as the OP said they did.
First point: Regardless of why the behavior of the one you love changed, and regardless of the label you put on it... It can be exceptionally difficult to live with, no matter how much you love that person. In some cases the love we have can give us enough strength... and in some cases it does not.
Unfortunately sometimes the reality is no amount of strength is enough... just as in some cases no amount of love, money, power, or anything else is enough to be the person we would need to be in order to be with the person who has changed. Some mentioned fearing for thier lives... just one good example of many.
Second point: Some have suggested that a person with issues such as described would prevent the individual from buying a house. Although we would like to think so, I have actually seen someone with far worse mental issues do that and a whole lot more. Keeping it on the other hand... that is a different story. It depends on who is around to bail them out afterward, and how deep thier pockets are.
The point is though... they can fool the banks.. and nearly everyone else. I don't pretend to know how they do it, I have just seen it. So do not judge a person's mental state by what they appear to own or have accomplished.
T_M | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:54:42 PM | Just a thought to the people reading the original OP...
This woman had a brain tumor, not a "mental illness"...
Two VERY DIFFERENT (both heartfelt sad) illnesses !!!
Read or re-read some of the OP's other posts here...please :)
And OP, thank you for your apologies, I do appreciate it...I hope you took my words to heart too :)
LLL
Sky | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:37:33 PM | ok this is probably me just being annoyed at something small but if I can make even a few people understand a different way of thinking and looking at things all the better. I work for the wny ddso (western new york developmental disabilities service office). There is no such thing as a mental illness, that closest describes the common term zombie. Disabilities are more complicated (neurons not firing correctly chemicals not being produced ect). Cancer is true an illness but not a mental illness a physical illness so please stop using the term mental illness (thats so 1980's willowbrook- look it up)
As far as the situation at hand, I hope you can forgive her changes and realise that she is dying and this is no small thing for anyone. Many demons surface and the flight or fight response ensues, she chose the former but not due to you- thats just instinct. Live a full life and love again if that is what you want, and thus what you need.
PS sorry for the rambling but I just hate people not to understand the people I work with situation. Guess then I wouldnt be doing my job. | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:24:00 PM | Hi, I am really touched by this mans words. It was like reading my sisters life. She was married to a wonderful man and had two sons with him, one passed right after birth, the other was thirteen years old when she left and moved to another state - leaving behind everything her and her husband had worked so hard for. She remarried and a few years had passed when she was diagnosed with cancer through her entire body and two brain tumors. I will never know where the cancer started because she didnt get to the doctor in time, my sister passed away here recently, however, she didnt want the people she loved with her, something in her brain caused her to shut off her feelings with people she loved. So anyway I will say that this man wasnt trying to cause anyone to be upset and wasnt trying to offend anyone, he is just hurting.
If your still reading this post just pray for her and yourself. | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:25:32 AM | ^^^The OP of this thread is only seeking attention for himself. If you had taken a moment to read his entire post history, which can still be found by doing a search on his username in the forums, then you will see what I and others are upset about.
The OP has in the past 3 years claimed to take medicinal cannabis for mental illness himself, claimed a pet died 2 weeks before another poster posted about their pet dying, stated he injured himself snowboarding at 55 mph and then a few months later did another post stating he wanted to learn how to snowboard for the new year and that he had "NEVER" done it before. There are many other examples within his history to support all of these contradictions he makes. At one point he even mentioned that his father died when he was five to gain empathy in a thread where the original poster of that thread was suffering with a loss.
My compassion and empathy do go out to you and your sister true2007, but please don't waste your empathy on someone who is just pulling the wool over peoples eyes. Instead, use it for your sister's family. | |
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| My experience with a mentally ill woman.
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:38:51 AM | We all have our views on the drugging of society by big pharma. You know, take the edge off. This little pill will improve your world...this little pill will have butterflies floating in your head to sleep, this little pill will wake you the next day to give you that fresh off the farm feel, this little pill will kill the village living under your toenail, this little pill will see to it that you never have to cancel another date due to those damn restless legs, this little one is for when you're not even sure but might get laid in the next 36 hours...
When I joined this site I had on my profile, please, if you're on any kind of anti-depressants, hit backspace now for I prefer my roller coasters real, the last car thank you.
When I removed the disclaimer the responses went through the roof - just one persons rant...
Greg | |
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