| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:40:32 PM | Sorry, but I think it's just "creepy"! Not the age factor now....... just that you've been watching her since she was a child! Just my thought.
Exactly my thoughts...
I said that I would thought that I would have been married by now, meaning back then when I was 25 I figure by the time she was old enough to marry, that I would have been married to someone else. That means that I have not been waiting for her to come of age.
Yes you were thinking about "the time when she'd be old enough to marry"...when she was 13 and you were 25.....creeeeeepy.....
When she was 13 you were looking at her thinking about the future with her--a bit sick
back then when I was 25 I figure by the time she was old enough to marry, that I would have been married to someone else.
Those thoughts of her were wrong--you were 25--she was 13--although I don't think you'll ever see it.
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:48:49 PM | Wow, thats EXACTLY what my first thought was.
Talk about Stalker. Yikes!!! How long has this guy been obsessed with that girl.
This is one of the most creepiest things that I have ever seen on a thread here on POF.
Why doesn't this person, find someone his own age? Or close to it.
Creepy Creepy Creepy... | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:03:24 PM | my suggestion is to take it slow.
allow her to see you checking her out. See what her reaction is.
If she smiles a shy smile, or does she give you a dirty look.
Does she dress hotter after she knows that you are checking her out.
Does she then start flashing her body at you. - - - you know those little moves that women can make that show interest or are to attract.
Or does she keep her body more covered and aware of how she is around you, in effect sending a negative response.
I am not one for older and younger - - either man or woman being older. There is a lot of difference in a 25 year old and a 23 year old. and you keep using the term Rev. So are you a religious figure to her - - if so - - - - this is out of line - - - Kind of like a boss using his position of authority to get a woman. Totally out of line - - - - only putting yourself in position of GOD's spokesman, is 100 times worst.
Jim P. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:25:16 PM | | OP, I guarantee that if you showed her what you posted to US, she would f*cking freak out. You want to know if you have a chance with her? Print out this thread and hand it to her. If she doesn't puke, start shaking uncontrollably, and then kick you in the nuts, then you've probably got a chance with her. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:58:33 PM | You wrote in your Opening Post that you saw someone in her you wanted to know the mature person in, have a friendship with the mature version of her. You thought you would be married by now, and that you refuse more advances than most men.
These are your words more or less are they not? If this is true, then as an Uncle, if you showed up to date my nieces I would and do have severe problems with this. What makes you want to develop a friendship with a girl who is just entering and going through puberty when you are a grown man. Is and was your maturity level so far behind that you could not interact with people closer to your own age?
You are missing the point of what people are telling you. This young lady should be more like a sister than a potential mate to you. A little sister, a baby sister. But you are looking at her as a potential mother for your children, a woman to satisfy your sexual urges. How can you look at her and still not see the innocent child she used to be and still want to bed her?
The majority of people out there when they meet a child, that person always remains a child to them. While the child does eventually grow and mature into an adult, the age difference and the adult/child relationship continues to exist, it will evolve but the roles do not change. She will always view you as an older, adult person. You will always view her as a child.
Now, you stated you stayed away from her to avoid ending up in the friend zone. This statement alone defies all other statements you make as it shows you always, if only subliminally, had less than honorable and virtuous intententions for this child. You can write all the denials you choose to write, however the facts will remain as you have written them and can not be changed regardless of how much ranting you put forth. 'This child was 1/2 your age when you met her, she was probably still in a training bra, braces and crazy about Hannah Montana or whatever was the rage then. Now, she may have matured physically, but you have not.
You are still spending your nights trying to find a way to bed her, to make her yours.
To change her into what you want her to be. Regardless of what you say, the statement of staying away to avoide the friend zone has completely betrayed your intentions and for this the people on this site see a pedophile and not a man.
For her best interest, let this young girl go on with her life without ever knowing your intentions. It is best that you just fade off into the sunset and do not attempt to initiate any further relationship with her. And I pray to God Reverend you never have daughters. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:47:46 PM |
And if this was your daughter? Would you approve of another man doing what you seek to do Rev?
If one of my daughters had an older guy wanting to be with her, I'd appreciate that more than someone her own age. I'd think they'd have sown their oats, are more secure, and have a better understanding of wht they want than those her own age. In many countries, an older man is much more desireable, and for many good reasons.  | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 3:56:50 AM |
You've known her for 10yrs when she was just a little girl......?
And,you've just been waiting for her to "grow up"....?
That's a bit of an assumption to make. If he was just waiting for her to "grow up" she was legally available 5 years ago. He may have just developed an attraction as she became a young adult. No one here really knows for certain, although most are willing to jump to the first negative conclusions that come to mind. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:32:05 AM | Hi,
Ask her out to dinner,and talk about how you have always liked her,then let her take it any further. If she doesn't ,then she just doesn't look on you that way. Enjoy the meal and her company,but don't take it any further,and never tell her you fancied her when she was thirteen,even if you do get together. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 5:04:28 AM | If one of my daughters had an older guy wanting to be with her, I'd appreciate that more than someone her own age. I'd think they'd have sown their oats, are more secure, and have a better understanding of wht they want than those her own age. In many countries, an older man is much more desireable, and for many good reasons.
Funny, I'm getting these "go for it" responses, and the response of this gentleman's, makes sense to me.
It seems to me, people like to "accuse" alot on here, label him some "creepy stalker/weirdo"-type vs. two adults age 23 and 35 dating.
But the whole "knowing her since she was a child...and he was 25" gives it the creepiness factor.
Personally, I think you're going way out on a limb accusing the OP as some kind of wierdo/sexual predator-type.
Also, you're talking about the past....this is the present and future. She is NOW 23, and he's NOW35.....so anything else is irrelevant. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 5:11:23 AM | | age matters to me so it be a no no on my end but the fact u have known her since she was young then thats just creepy and weird...thats just like my uncle hitting on me...u already are an old guy with a crush on a woman who should be dating guys her own age not old enough to be her uncle...ewww | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 5:14:50 AM | Im 21 and my father is 40 years old but ive been known to date men his age twice my age.
Depends.
Age is so just a number.
I know some pretty sexy 40 year old men that dont think twice at gawking there head my way.
Go for it. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:16:19 AM | | I don't really know how you would change her perception (maybe you won't even need to) but I thought maybe you'd be interested to know that I am 23 and I am with a 35 year old man. And I've always been attracted to older men. Maybe she's like me! Good luck! Btw I think your story is sweet and romantic. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:28:26 AM | I once dated my close friends sister. I met her when I was 10, she was 3 or 4. Of course, didn't date until I was 34 and she was 27 or 28. No, I didn't have eyes for her then. I think if OP has any "child lust" he would not have waited until 23 to take any action. I don't see this as seeing a young woman at a young age that he thought would grow into a pretty and pleasant young lady.
I'd tread carefully, but if you think it's right. My thoughts are its more likely you'd be thought of as an uncle type.. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:42:47 AM |
Also, you're talking about the past....this is the present and future. She is NOW 23, and he's NOW35.....so anything else is irrelevant.
how is some one admitting at the time of being 25 that they were attracted to a 13 year old child irrelevant? | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 10:04:34 AM | As far as I'm concerned, if they click, love one another, then why should age matter?
I had a 21 year old girl come after my 34 year old self recently. I was flattered, but rejected her simply because she led a party-girl lifestyle and had some maturity issues I didn't want to deal with.
Now if her head was on straight and wasn't about partying in clubs all the time...I would have so gone for it. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 10:08:51 AM |
I don't really know how you would change her perception (maybe you won't even need to) but I thought maybe you'd be interested to know that I am 23 and I am with a 35 year old man. And I've always been attracted to older men. Maybe she's like me! Good luck! Btw I think your story is sweet and romantic.
You are a rare few and wonderful woman out there that actually finds it sweet and romantic.
It's weird isn't it? It's sweet and romantic......obviously, people that responded on this thread don't feel that way.  | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 10:41:53 AM | that would be kind of awkward....you should just talk to her about or just keep it to yourself...but if that was me i wouldnt even bother...i couldnt see myself having feelings for someone that i watched grow up....but hey thats just me | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:05:13 AM |
I don't really know how you would change her perception (maybe you won't even need to) but I thought maybe you'd be interested to know that I am 23 and I am with a 35 year old man. And I've always been attracted to older men. Maybe she's like me! Good luck! Btw I think your story is sweet and romantic.
You are a rare few and wonderful woman out there that actually finds it sweet and romantic. It's weird isn't it? It's sweet and romantic......obviously, people that responded on this thread don't feel that way.
I could be wrong, but it seems to me, most of the women that replied don't have such a negative reaction. It's usually the men that have suggested it is inappropriate. I don't think it's for them to decide. Especially if she is also interested (which could in fact be the case), who are they to blab about this...
OP definitely go for it. | |
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| I have known her since she was 13, I'm 12 years her senior.
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:49:10 PM | Personally, if the feelings are there and are mutual, in an ideal world, I don't think the age should matter.
However, I would ask yourself whether you think she is the person yet who she will remain for quite some time or may change dramatically still?
I was married to a man 12 years my senior and then dated another 10 years older. To be honest, the biggest issue I had was that in each case, I felt they were overbearing and rather controlling.. It seemed the age difference almost gave them liscence to feel they always knew best and were in the right even when they were clearly in the wrong.
As for the marriage, I married at 18 and did not yet know myself and do now believe that until a person has reached the point where they fully know themselves, they are incapable of being in a true, lasting relationship.
Just something to consider.
Best of luck whatever you decide. | |
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