| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:35:33 AM | I only contact people for something they might have posted on the forums, so whether they're married or in a committed relationship (or not) makes little difference to me.
In fact, some of my favorite people on here are married or in a committed relationship.
There's this one particular couple whose posts I respect very much and even though I do correspond more often with "him" than with "her", that's only because him and I both post in the same forum on a regular basis and we happen to share a lot of the same ideologies.
But I also know that his special someone is probably right by his side as he's reading yet another one of my long rambling emails:)
However...I've just had to once again put some filters/restrictions back up on my profile after I had removed them for a while so that anyone from the forums would be welcome to contact me if they wanted to.
Like a fool, I assumed that me being 51 years old and having my profile boldly state that I'm here for the forums ONLY would be enough to keep the wolves away. I assumed wrong.
And while I only put the "must not be married" filter up at first, that still didn't stop the many men who claim to be single or divorced but who are in fact in a COMMITED long term relationship from contacting me, claiming to be looking for a friend or an email buddy "only", often with their partner's approval (of course;)
But ALL of them...not just a few or some or many...but ALL of them refused to put the picture they were so willing to send me privately ON their profiles when I insisted they do just so I could see for myself that they weren't indeed "hiding" from anything (or anyone).
So....from my own personal experience and having been here long enough to have come to my own conclusions, I found that the quickest and most effective way to rid myself of anyone who is insincere, not necessarily married but from people who are hiding or lying, is to simply insist that a picture MUST be on their profiles in order to contact me.
And it's funny but since my filters have been back up, I haven't had one...not ONE married man contact me who just happened to be looking for a "friend" or an email/chat "buddy". Funny dat eh? 
JMO | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:45:45 AM | | its on my profile that i prefer not 2 have contact w/any married men.. i want someone who can be 'all mine'.. so 2 speak.. and 'not looking outside of the box'.. as most married men r.. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:07:18 PM | Yes. No two ways about that.
I'm on a dating site to find someone that I can hopefully build a romantic relationship with and I'm not going to find that with someone who is already commited. Not that I don't believe that it is possible that someone can be here purely for friendship. However, I don't think a DATING website is the best place for that. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:38:17 PM | Well I do not spend an immense amount of time browsing dating profiles. I have been cutting back on how much time I spend on dating sites.
I prefer to read less. Your profile is quite wordy. I have to admit I saw it and had an ADHD moment.
If I contact anyone from a dating site it will be someone I see to be for my future. Of course others are free to contact me, I believe when I opened my profile on here I put limitations on that so I am not leading people on.
I used to chat with married men (when I was too young to know better), but I think it made me sad to think about how the future of a marriage could potentially end up. The conversations were always the same, about how they were not getting any and how they fantasized about being with me. Eventually it leads to how they could plan a business trip down my way, and me reminding them of how much they love their wives and how much their children need them etc...etc... and how lucky they are to have a family.
I would not want my future husband to be chatting with the girl next door about our sexual problems rather than talking to me about them. There are therapists for this. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:50:30 PM | *Ahem....*
I, too, read your profile...and I wouldn't answer any of your emails even if you were single...never mind married...
Since when does being a married born again Christian make it ok to troll dating sites for sex??? From what I've read, it comes off pretty strongly that that's what you're looking for...not chat or email buddies...but buddies of a different variety...
I would never communicate with a married man outside of the forums... | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 1:28:59 PM | NO WAY, married/not single not looking.......Why even bother......I would feel my boy friend/partner/hubby was betraying me chatting about our problems .......... not normal behaviour.......but hey each to their own! Live and let live!!! Just not for me personally.  | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:06:07 PM | Yes I immediately look at the marital status section and if it says attached or married I look no further. If I happen to date a man who claims he's single then I find out he lied and is married or attached I dump him (happened twice). Marrieds should not be on a dating site. They should be focusing on their wife or husband rather than looking to cheat. Looking for email chat buddies while attached or married is cheating in my book. If there are problems in a marriage or relationship rather than sweep such under the rug and look outside the relationship both parties should focus on each other and make an effort to resolve issues. Looking outside a marriage or relationship degrades the other partner along with the sanctity of marriage. If your marriage was as strong as you say you wouldn't be looking outside for other women. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:11:57 PM | | And another thing when one partner chooses to cheat on their other the cheating spouse loves to blame their partner when it's the cheater's own issues driving them to look outside the marriage or relationship. If any man did that to me I'd kick him right to the curb and never look back. Cheating is the ultimate sin in my eyes. Now go pay attention to your wife. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:43:30 PM |
Yes this is a dating site and I'm looking for a guy. Not someone taken. If your looking for sex then don't matter. I don't understand why a married man would be on here. Can't u talk to your wife or your friends?
I agree completely - and as a guy, I'm not buying the "I'm just here to chat" dude....
There are plenty of posts and forums on cars, motorcycles, that you could make friends on. Its a good story for your wife, and maybe you posted this to convince her that's why you're here, but (IMHO) at a minimum, you're looking for somebody to say "I know you're married but I want you anyway" to feed your ego.. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:46:28 PM | I think you can put in "Not Single/Not Looking" rather than married so people understand you're here for the forums or friendships.
If you put down Married, the first reaction will most likely be "You cheater!!"
Just my opinion. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:53:17 PM | | Yes. Although some women may not care who they interract with, it makes me wonder why a married man would want to contact women on a 'dating' site. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:08:35 PM | Wow! Lots of replies! And even though almost every single one of you is quick to judge, I won't hold that against you! After all, I really do believe in "judge ye not, lest ye be judged". I also believe in, what comes around goes around. Which is why I'm nice to people. I could stick it to each one of you publically, but not only am I better than that, I want good things to come back to me.
But one thing is tugging at me...if it's so "obvious" that I'm here for more than just friends and a chat/email buddy, why would I post a picture of myself, make fun of myself in my description, and litter my entire profile with a dry style humor? Wouldn't an unhappy husband try to be discreet and "flower" himself up to get attention of the opposite sex? Hmmm.....
But at any rate, you are right. This really is "your" site. But I'll keep up my profile (because I think it's funny, and the second I start worrying about what other people think is the second I lose myself). I'll even keep posting here. And no, not as a troll. I have contributed to many forums over the internet positively, and I can do that here, regardless of what people think of me. I'm just very disappointed in the shallow human spirit displayed here. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:40:34 PM | ^^^ You asked and we replied.
No one attacked you personally.
No one told you to take down your profile, or not to post.
Obviously that is your prerogative.
I am just curious, if the answers were more to your liking... if we answered your question:"Do women avoid contacting married men?" with "Yes, we love chatting with married men." would you still consider our spirits as shallow?
You are entitled to be here, just as anyone else.
Just as women here are entitled to chose who they want/don't want to communicate.
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:48:19 PM | Oh, just one other thing that struck me as stereotypical (and it came from a guy, of all people)...
I agree completely - and as a guy, I'm not buying the "I'm just here to chat" dude....
There are plenty of posts and forums on cars, motorcycles, that you could make friends on. Its a good story for your wife, and maybe you posted this to convince her that's why you're here, but (IMHO) at a minimum, you're looking for somebody to say "I know you're married but I want you anyway" to feed your ego..
Well, if that's not the most stereotypical comment I've ever heard in my life! So, a married dude has to meet guys who have nothing in common with him? Or maybe I like shopping at Christmastime, watching chick flicks with my wife, and visiting with the women at family gatherings because I'm gay? Well, if that's the case, you'd better watch out, nine11c22! Remember....don't bend over to pick up the soap when I'm in the room!!!
Another classic case of judging before knowing. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:49:30 PM | I think there are many people that "here for the forums" and are not actively fishing for dates. That being said, if that is why you are here, why do you care if other women want to talk to you or not? In the forums you can post your opinion and it's received, and no one cares if you are married or not. If you are trying to engage in chat via email or IM, with other women, I would have to question the integrity of your intention. And I would not be interested in pursuing such a friendship.
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 4:02:17 PM |
First off, when you visit a profile, do you look immediately at the marital status? And when it says "Married", do you move right along before reading more?
Yes. But I don't look down on them or judge them; I just think they're not what I'm looking for and move on.
I could stick it to each one of you publically
How? and...Why? You asked, you got answers. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 4:10:37 PM |
No one attacked you personally.
No, ofcourse they didn't!
"Since when does being a married born again Christian make it ok to troll dating sites for sex??? From what I've read, it comes off pretty strongly that that's what you're looking for...not chat or email buddies...but buddies of a different variety..."
"You are married ... looking to talk-email with OTHER women other than your wife and you are a born again christian.... riiiiiiggghhhht.... "
"It's called a dating site for a reason. You have a unique relationship with your wife for sure." (Subtle attack)
"I have ZERO interest in talking to married people.
Yes, I do look down on them. I think that they are cheaters and I do not like cheaters."
Hey, wasn't that last one posted by you? So...you didn't attack me, but just accused me of being a cheater? No, that was a totally non-invasive comment! 
I am just curious, if the answers were more to your liking... if we answered your question:"Do women avoid contacting married men?" with "Yes, we love chatting with married men." would you still consider our spirits as shallow?
It has little to do with the answer, but the message behind the answer. But that's a no-brainer!
You are entitled to be here, just as anyone else.
Just as women here are entitled to chose who they want/don't want to communicate.
Totally agree with ya. But that doesn't mean that a white person who won't speak to a black person isn't racist. I'm sure you can figure it out. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 4:25:07 PM | WOW where to begin. Sorry pal but you OPENED yourself up to some of the comments just with what your profile says. I don't know if your just trying to get attention, still mad at "Justin" for telling the whole 8th grade you wear woman's underwear or what but back to the original issue.
I would NOT communicate with someone who is married (my profile states this). Not even for chatting as I do not believe that your wife truly knows your on here. Heard that line before and like Red said, unless you give me her contact info, I ain't buying it.
Honestly tho, I think your looking for attention, don't even know if I believe your married, just feel that nothing in your profile really says honesty except where you yourself claim to be so honest. Just my opinion tho and you can toss it out or whatever. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:13:29 PM | The married option is there for married people on this site. Whether they be looking for friendship, an I/E, or whatever else they want to look for. It just so happens that a lot of married people on this site are not truely looking for just talk/email, whether they say they are or not.
In this case...looking for friends to "chat" with. You work evenings, so I'm guessing you'd be here during the day while your wife and all your friends are at work. I can understand that.
Making a post asking if women avoid contacting married men...that throws a bit of a red flag though. If you were only here for friends, one would think it wouldn't really matter - or at least not matter enough to make a post to ask about it. That is why so many people have critiqued you and your profile as such. I will take it one step furthur to throw out some specifics.
I'm here mainly for the forums now. When I first started I was here to meet new people and date though. Now, I don't have much time to date, and I haven't had much luck finding anyone I would deem relationship worthy (due to my own 'faults'). The odd time I message someone I think might be interesting to talk to, but I really don't expect replies. I also don't expect many people to email me, because I realize this is a 'dating' site, not a friendship site. It'd be rediculous of me to think people on this site (outside of forums) would want to talk to me just to chat it up, with little likelyhood of it going anywhere. Not that I'm not open to that idea, but it's unlikely to happen for me right now.
You claim to be here for talk/email. Fair enough. You claim your wife knows about it. Good, very good. You tell people who ask you why you are here to read your profile. That'd be alright...but do you really expect them to respond after they do? I realize this isn't a profile review and you have your right to say whatever you want but seriously...
I'm a person who's fun going and easy...oops, I meant to say easy and fun going!
Ooooo, a play on words. Ok, it's the first one, sort of humourous, but by the end of it you still look like you are "easy". Perhaps when you correct yourself, 'fun and easy going' would make the most sense?
I'm a husband and father. I'm also married and have a daughter.
Rewording what you just said...hahablah!
I'm really not that wired. I mean weird
2nd play on words...it's starting to get a little old already. Skipping the lame jokes inbetween...
If I sound like your new best friend, feel free to massage me...I mean message me! ...
Massage me now...I mean message me now...
Another play on words?!?! Jeeza you need some new material. Given this quote in itself is a huge inuendo whether it's designed to be or not. Plus previous inuendo's. They all give off the sign that you are looking for more than what you claim.
Now this is all just my personal opinion. You can take it for what it's worth (which is possibly nothing). I can't speak for everyone, but, in my view, it's not as funny as you think. If I was a woman, even if you were single, I would be worried about talking to you as to the possibility of being subjected to the play on words all too often. Humour is subjective to what people find funny though. So, hey, if you think it's funny, all power to you. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:23:35 PM | | Well, I'm a Leslie Nielsen fan. Airplane, Naked Gun, Spy Hard, and yes...even Superhero Movie! I think that type of humor is witty in its own way. Need I say more?! I've had people tell me I'm the funniest person they know. Granted, I'm the only person they know (ha ha). But seriously, if people can't handle the humor, then I'm not offended by it. | |
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| Do women avoid contacting married men?
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:30:26 PM | | Post a picture of you and your wife. Change your profile so that it clearly states right up front that you are only looking for friends and cut out the rest of the malarkey and then we might not be so quick to judge..Just a thought. | |
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