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Posted: 6/25/2008 5:11:30 PM | Men's egos are fragile. Be careful. The thing I've heard about in these cases is something call shadowing. Let him kiss you, then kiss him back EXACLY the SAME... .. break appart, and then kiss him how you would like to be kissed... do this a few times and he will catch on to what you are doing...
Ya know, in high school we called this part of dating 'necking'... and part of the fun of kissing for hours, without pressure, was that you learn from each other -- you learn what works for the other person, what doesn't. Maybe, if you slow things down, this might work again... the thing about kissing is, if you can't bring yourself to out-and-out tell him he's doing something wrong, then try and tell him what you like... if he does something right, let him know, because if things go further, you will need to communicate then too, and it will be easier.. but do so gently. No one likes to be told they suck! LOL
And, as most of us know, the hot and heavy kissing thing fades over time, and if he's everything else you would like -- kissing ends up being a pretty minor thing... you can always work on technique, personality however, is forever! | |
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| Kissing....
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:21:10 PM | | I think that complaint is petty. If you get along and you are attracted, so what, he had bad day in the kissing arena. If you continue with him, then just kindly show him how you like it. That is, without being critical and obsessed about it. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 5:22:37 PM | I was involved with a man that told me from the start that he didnt' really like to kiss that much. Well, I do! Kissing is what sets the stage for things to come. I showed him how I like to kiss and he became a very good kisser.
Dont be afraid to show him if you can't tell him. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 5:32:21 PM | | Yeah, just like ~rain~ described. I'd never forget her and would be putty in her hands. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 5:33:45 PM | | It goes both ways. In the past I have had partners who I hated kissing because they just either were like kissing a wall or they were too aggressive. Aggressive can be good in the right setting, but not when we are in public. This is not to be confused with showing affection in public, but more like making a scene by damn near making out. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 5:44:25 PM | First off from what you mentioned happened in the guy forum, I will apologize for the rude ignorant males that accosted you. Now with that out of the way.
I love kissing! Sometimes I feel weird cuz im the guy, but who cares!
From a mans point of view, duh, when I am feeling it with someone im out with, my mind shifts into wanting her to enjoy being with me. (And hopefully want to do it again soon!)
So then when I caress her skin, run my fingers through her hair, gently grasp the back of her neck or cradle her face, look into her eyes, etc its to heighten the mood and make it easier for the Butterflies" to come when you kiss her.
Now, if after doing all of the above then going in for the kiss, do the actual kissing, and then with the woman pulling slowly back and telling me that she is enjoying what we are doing and says "I want to show you what really makes me_________ (you insert what you are comfortable with)" .......I AM ALL EARS!..... or "Here let me show you!" Im THERE! lol That way it isnt bruising his ego by saying "You cant kiss" or "I dont like the way you kiss" or whatever, you are not saying anything NEGATIVE about how he kisses, just showing him the POSITIVE of how turned on you get by kissing "This way."
At that moment he should have NO problem learning what YOU like. Now if he doesnt, then all he is worried about is his pleasure, not yours. If thats the case, good. You found out now. All the better for you. RUN AWAY!! lol
Obviously he likes you. He knows you like him. Next time youre together after kissing and seeing if he was just unsure/nervous the first time and kisses better/differently or not give that a try. Maybe you just might get what you want or find out that he doesnt care what you want and you save yourself some time and heartache!
Good Luck OP | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 5:55:08 PM | You are getting responded that way, because this is what guys do not want to hear.
Bare in mind that these men desire to be with someone themselves, and then hearing a woman complain about that is an insult. It also will place questions in their minds as well as insecurities regarding their date. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 6:07:28 PM | hey theycall
Funny, I was thinking the same thing. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 6:35:05 PM | cuddles,
Very nice response. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 6:39:24 PM | | Cool, recipe Cowboy. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 6:58:59 PM | | Oh please greyhound, it is not experience as I can attest to that. I was virgin at one time and with the first woman I was with. She did show me some things and I applied it, it drove her wild. Be open minded and if you are really into someone it will show in how you express it. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 7:04:58 PM | | Bad kissers turn me off completely and I will let them know right then "I'm not really feeling your style". Funny stuff.....girls that have chapped lips, hard lips, press their face on mine too hard, stick their whole damn tongue down my throat, bad breath, too much saliva, oh lord.....some people need some practice...take notes! If you're having a bad day....don't go for a kiss.... Please! | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 7:51:26 PM | | A confident man is usually a good kisser. A nervous man is usually not, but if you show him how you like to be kissed I am sure he is willing to try it your way, as he probably wants to please you with his kisses and he knows that is one of the first ways of maybe leading to other things. Show him, teach him, practice, with any luck he will have you hooked and longing for more. Muuuuaaaaahhhhhh | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 7:53:14 PM | I definitely prefer it when a woman tells (or shows) me how she likes it. We can't read your mind, so if we're doing something wrong, TELL US.
Don't just pretend, hide or FAKE IT. If you want something, you have the ability to decide whether you get it. Leave it up to them, and you get what you receive.
One of my ex's taught me how to kiss. With how short that relationship did go, I'd say I got far more out of it than she did. Not saying I'm a great kisser, but I got no complaints from the last woman I kissed. Quite the opposite, she couldn't get enough. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 8:17:52 PM | It's important to use lots of encouragement, praise and treats (positive reinforcement) in your training. Start training your man as soon as the first date. Set your man up to succeed, concentrate on developing desirable habits and prevent undesirable behavior.
Keep your training sessions short, consistent and always have fun. Base your training sessions around trust and mutual respect rather than old school methods based on punishment and harsh corrections. In this environment you will find that your boyfriend loves his training sessions and his confidence will grow with each and every session. Early efforts should focus on establishing dominance.
Always remember that you are dealing with a very immature person. Be realistic, flexible, patient and always fair. Your boyfriend doesn't just automatically know this stuff! It's all new to him and he is bound to have the odd slip up and mistake along the way. Be especially firm if he bites or attempts to hump your leg. These traits are annoying and can be embarrassing when company is around.
Establish a space where you can put your boyfriend when you need a break. The garage or basement makes a perfect environment for this. Don't worry, he will find things to do to entertain himself. Don't hesitate to put him there when he gets on the furniture, disobeys, or you simply get tired of giving him the constant attention he will undoubtedly require.
Enjoy this fantastic time in your dating life. Dating is the time where you will lay the foundation for your life together. | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 10:37:31 PM | | Poster, maybe it just means you weren't attracted to him enough if you didn't enjoy his kiss??? | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 10:38:47 PM | Mthonjmark, I'm too old to message you...but I wanted to say...sometimes you're so darn blunt it cracks me up!!
And I have this odd image of you watching "The Little Mermaid" with the shades pulled down, curtains drawn, and door locked! LOL | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 2:42:25 PM | It is NOT petty for a woman, or man, to know how they like to kiss. And a bad kisser can most definenlty be a deal breaker. A kiss is the first physical step to confirmation of physical chemistry. If the kiss is bad, the sex will probably be a waste of time too.
Little hint guys: the whole slobbering, drooling, st.bernard kiss with a bit of hoovering the face thrown in kind of kiss?
NOT sexy! TOTAL turn off.  | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 4:10:56 PM | | I wouldn't date a man a second time if he couldn't kiss. Kissing is WAY important to me | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 4:51:27 PM | | Kissing has to be one of the most important things to all women! I know what I do when it seems that there just isn't that curl in my toes when Iget kissed. I take the lead and kiss him back , only with all the passion I didn't feel in his kiss. He probably wants to be kissed back. Give him a kiss that will tell him you want passion in his kisses. | |
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