| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:09:23 PM | this is to kyn or message 17.
You have a wonderful point. It is excellent to see replies on this because this has been on my mind for years.
I guess it all depends on the woman BUT for the most part from looking at the replies it seems to me the majority and if not ALL woman do not go to the bars for men. This puzzles me. There is a variety of ways to meet a woman. 1. friends 2. work 3.social events 4. bars or clubs 5.grocerie stores. 6 internet oh yeah 7.beach. well, we all know that the internet has been around for the AVERAGE user since 1995. Let me ask this questions. So what happened before 1995? so that leaves the remainder. Well, grocerie stores and work......well.....the chances of picking up someone there is very slim because you are very busy shopping or working. so lets look at the three VERY VERY big places to meet someone. Social events, the beach, and last but not least the bar/club. Now break it down even further. Either sex is going to look there best at these three places. the beach is a little iffy...some people look better with close than they do in bathing suites. lol. Social events and bars your most likely going to look good at.
I think subconsiously woman go to pick up men. They dont realize it but its like a reaction via instinct and from what society/media has taught them . They are there to hang loose with the ladies, have a drink and to dance. It is the activity that they enjoy but its there way of keeping the "door open". Its a way to socialize and to have the door open. woman are pretty smart.....and they know men are going to be there and that we are visual creatures. Yes, some woman do dress to get attention and that is obvious but some woman dress average so they are not just out to get attention. I wanted to confirm via this forum because my belief is that a womans response would be what you guys have said to hang with the ladies and to dance. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:10:56 PM | Personally, I don't think any mature person would really go to the bar with the only intention being to pick up on their gender of preference. The main idea would be to go out and have a good time. If one happens to see someone who interests them, than yes, going over to talk to them may come in the picture. But, for a lot of people, those situations are few and far inbetween.
Speaking of dressing for attention. Seems 'turtle' skirts are all the rage now a days. If only I didn't have kids and was like 22 in age and mentality wise. :roll: | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:59:48 PM | Lets face it... my age group are hard pressed to go to a bar and pick up guys/girls. Most bars in my city do not cater to my age group, people are much younger. So when I do go out with my friends it is not very often and not looking for a pick up. Just to dance and have fun with the girls.
When I was 21 years old I did do the bar scene... I was a bartender here in the city for many years. And yes picking up guys was on the agenda. No internet dating back in the olden days...
As for the way I dress... I do like to think I dress well... I am not wearing a business suit to a club... I am wearing a sun dress in the summer and jeans in the winter... we all like to dress right for the occasion.
Ladies like to look good... sooooo.... if I am winter camping I like to look good in my camp clothes... dancing... I like to look good in my dress... and yes I do still want to look good for the men no mater what I am doing or where I am going.... Have you seen my mud pictures?
~Charmed~ | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:13:13 PM | B and C. No offense to the guys, but the club/bar isn't a great place to meet someone. It's way too sexualized with little chance to have a decent conversation. I dress up because it's appropriate for the occasion. You don't want to get hot while dancing (sweat and make-up aren't typically a good combo) or look horrible while everyone else looks all nice and sparkly. Visual appreciation from men is always nice, but I don't personally wish for any of them to actually approach. I much prefer admiring from afar and approaching if I myself am interested. I'm polite when men approach, but I have no interest in speaking in such a venue. I'll just thank them for their attention, inform them its girl's night and go on my way.
As for how I meet men...typically through interest clubs I join, online sites and friends. I just go to the dance club or bar to have fun with my friends. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:21:04 PM |
I much prefer admiring from afar and approaching if I myself am interested.
I second that...I'm not shy or waiting for a man to approach, I'm usually just not interested. If I haven't approached a man within an hour of being in the same room with him, it's because I'm not into him.
And that includes places that are not bars/clubs. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:02:13 PM | | Dear OP, happy to add my 2 cents but first can you describe "soo provocative?" And BTW, 15 more? Are you conducting a survey? doing research? writing a paper? (lol) *Waz up* with the 15 more? | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:02:16 PM |
typically through interest clubs I join
Falling Ember:
What exactly is an interest club? Something like live theater or something? Give us some examples.
Teach us grasshopper. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:07:45 PM | | What a great answer and summary Kyn provided on the provocative question! As a woman I wish to use this thread to thank her for *representing* us, er, those of us for whom this resonates that is AND for attempting to educate a few men. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:13:10 PM | Hidden I am thinking it is a club like a hobby.
I am a member of a canoe club... I can take classes and go on trips with others that share my interest in canoeing/kayaking. Things you have under you "Interests"...
~Charmed~ | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:35:22 PM | | B&C! When I go to clubs I go to have fun and be myself . The other options are just the reason guys THINK we go to clubs. I would have to be completely wasted to have sex with a man I just met in the club. To the other questions, if I see something I like, I'm going for it. Whether it's on the dance floor or at the bar. As for the signs, I'm an eye contacter. And I have a huge staring problem, so that could be the reason. The most I would do at the club is exchange numbers. Some guys fail to realize that exchanging numbers is all they need to do. If we're interested we'll call, but we want go to bed with you. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:32:18 PM |
if you are just to dance and let loose why dress soo provocative?
Going out is about having fun and letting loose. When I know that I look good it makes me feel even more self confident and sexy.
While there are exceptions, I generally am not looking for a relationship when I am out on a night on the town. I think one of my friends put it best when she broke up with her boyfriend for drinking too much. She said " I meet him at [a club] what did I expect?"
Now if I meet you at my dance class . . .  | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:37:23 PM | | and to think i thought they were out to be noticed (ego stroking, even when married and I do know married women go to bars and it makes no sense to me), to be in an establishment of tipping (it's such a grand experience to tip - makes them feel like they are being generous), like to be in a fog of cigarette smoke (part of being health conscious), and love to waste money on overpaid drinks or like men to waste money on the drinks for them (perpetuating irresponsibility with money). | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:01:08 AM | b. to dance and let loose
If there happens to be an interesting man (rarely), he will approach me. I have a few matchmaker friends. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:06:16 AM | Hey there are some amazing threads floating about today..
I go to a bar or a club to see my friends..female and male and to have a drink.
If I go to a club it's just a different night..again..with friends and a bit of dancing too.
That's it.
Most of us know by experience that if you go out looking to meet someone it never happens anyway. So no.I don't 'go out on the pull' and never have done.
If I did then I wouldn't go out with my best mate so much..he's a man..everyone would think we were a couple...so it wouldn't work if my intention was to 'pick up a guy'. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:14:15 AM |
to dance and let loose
to be out with the ladies
when i go out it's to have a dance and a giggle not to pull
when you are interested in men at the bar do you approach them or do you sit there waiting for them to appoach you.? also do you give them signs?
Normally wait for them to approach me, if i do like a guy i will keep looking over/making eye contact, which should indicate for them to come on over!
~Serenity | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:15:47 AM | Charmed is correct: I was speaking of a club like a hobby. Sorry about that, I should have been clearer.
I've noticed the older I get, the fewer opportunities I have to meet members of the opposite sex. Almost everyone gets married in their 20's around here (I'm 31, never married with no children), meets at church (I'm not religious), meets through family (my family is fine with me never getting married: very pro-independent), or meets through friends. I like meeting men through my friends since they care enough to be sure the guy isn't going to abuse me, but the guys are typically very similar to one another.
I figured joining interest clubs would be my best option since I would at least have something in common with the men there. And if nothing panned out romantically with any of the men, then friendship with any of the members (male or female) could be a possibility which would open the door to meeting men through them. You kind of have to create a lattice work of relationships to improve your chances of meeting a match. People tend to date those they see on a regular basis, so meeting in dance clubs isn't productive in my opinion unless you're in your early 20's and attractive. Perhaps things are different elsewhere and they're a good option in a different city though. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:36:49 AM |
and that is probably why he is an ex husband. .....????? Me thinks that Mr hidden seems to think that ALL women go to bars and clubs to 'pick up'.....maybe that's why Mr hidden goes to bars and clubs.
The question remains.....Why do women go to bars and clubs?.....I think it's called socializing. What makes a bar or club different to internet dating?
I met my ex at a funeral, so should I stop going to funerals?
If a man can get together with a few mates and kick up their heels then why can't a woman do the same thing? | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:40:02 AM | b. to dance and let loose
c. to be out with the ladies
These are the primary reasons why I go to bars / clubs along with having a few beers. I'm not opposed to meeting men at a bar / club, but it's not my main focus. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:52:50 AM | Okay, I need to do a number count on what reasons why woman go to the bar. Any woman that can tell my the reasons they go would be helpful.
a. to pick up men - not.
b. to dance and let loose - yes and yes.
c. to be out with the ladies - yes.
d. to be out with the ladies and pick up men. - yes and if it happens fine, but not the reason for going out.
e. to get laid. - hell no!
When you are interested in men at the bar do you approach them or do you sit there waiting for them to appoach you.? I don't ever want to meet a man that bad where I will approach them, as I am typically out with gfs and/or a date.
Do you give them signs? Innocent flirting may take place, sure! That's normal and harmless.
What signs do you give them. As mentioned above. Innocent flirting........
P.S. I'm not really a bar person, so if I go there is music/dancing taking place or I'm just out with a friend or date having drinks and just enjoying the company I went with. I don't necessarily go out to be on "the prowl"...........When I go out dancing, I am there to dance and enjoy the music! I love dancing and just letting out whatever stressors I have had over the week, etc.............
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:54:42 AM | (If I see an interesting man I will find an EXCUSE to talk to him) you keep saying you don't go to bars to talk-meet men. (on any given night they could be LOOKING FOR
ANYTHING within the a-e range)did I detect a small ounce of honesty for once?
(I don't even dance with men) please tell me another little white lie-I'll promise to believe it too! (maybe once a year but it's so rare I don't even look for it) you would be a smash hit at the comedy clubs you all always go to!(do we women appreciate eye candy or talk to men we like...THO EXTREMELY RARE) yeah, us men know, just only every night at the bar (but all this has nothing to do with the opposite sex) well, you can always volunteer at the local nursing home! (he's dreaming about a life with a bunch of female strangers) all I need to do is wear expensive clothes and show a lot of money and 'the bunch of female strangers ' will immediately, instantly GIVE ME ALL THE ATTENTION I WANT AS LONG AS THE MONEY LASTS!!! (In the bar, YES PICKING UP GUYS WAS ON THE AGENDA) and we guys knew it all along-thanks for being honest! (if I see something I like I'm going for it!)
(look at the women who go to the Academy Awards) I agree...it's a great photo op for all the world to see, which means look at me, look at me! (because it represents femininity) yeah, i agree, don't be caught dead in a nice pair of jeans and shirt!
(wear bikinis to the beach-that's what you wear) yeah and make sure you don't wear just a simple, conservative one, but make sure your boobs hang out and you must show tons of cleaveage 'cause you can pick up a egomaniac muscle man lifeguard or impress a millionaire playboy!!! (unless some dumbass actually thinks bikinis and ballroom gowns are man bait)funny how EVERYTIME you dress to go out it's provocatively and sexy and it's always where the men are at....heaven forbid if you wear ANYTHING that is casual or conservative...and please don't forget the high heels......you need to look taller than you actually are; 'cause they are a part of the whole idea and impression to be something you are not!
(that is probably why he is an ex-husband)...(you dress to get attention to see if you still have it).....points well made Hidden ..... thank you........kind of reminds me of spoiled brat kids and how they whine and cry to get all the attention, don't you think??? | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:59:12 AM | OP: "anymore input?!?!
need more ladies input. at least 15 more. another is.......if you are just to dance and let loose why dress soo provocative?
so far....to the ladies that put the effort in replying....thank you."
OP: Are you conducting a "Case Study" on why women go to bars/clubs? 
P.S. Women (most) dress in what ever they feel good in, what mood they are in and depending where they are going. If you are going to a bar and/or club you aren't going to dress like you are going to church. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:00:34 PM | | The main reasons I go to bars ( and sometimes clubs ) is to having a few drinks, hang out with friends, and / or watching a sporting event. Sometimes I will meet a man at a bar. That's not the main reason I would go to a bar. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:02:11 PM | e. to get laid. - hell no!
I know it's disappointing to men to hear this, but most of us already have our sex lined up LONG before we get to a club with someone who we meet up with later on...so with the exception of a few random bar skanks (who are WAY outnumbered by the men) even women who go to clubs don't go to get laid. They either aren't sleeping with anyone anywhere, or they are already planning on sleeping with someone who's just not with them at the moment.
What would be the point of bringing sand to the beach? Same deal here.
That is a excellent reason for men to stop hitting on/and talking to women at bars/clubs. They would be better off going to a small tavern and shooting the sh!t with the guys. LOL, and they would have more money in their wallets when they went home.
I concur. If/when a woman wants to talk to you, she'll talk to you...otherwise, she's doing her own thing. Leave her be. And BTW buying women drinks just makes you broke (and gets her drunk). That's about all it does. At least find out if she even likes you before you start sending drinks over....unless you're doing it to be nice with NO EXPECTED OUTCOME, and then it's fine. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:06:28 PM | Reply to post #48.
That is a excellent reason for men to stop hitting on/and talking to women at bars/clubs. They would be better off going to a small tavern and shooting the sh!t with the guys. LOL, and they would have more money in their wallets when they went home. | |
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