| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:28:58 AM | I thought we covered this topics 2 months ago? In any case, as someone like djchickie, I spent alot of time in bars, dated the staff, went to the parties.
My reason for going out was dancing, music, socializing - getting dressed up for it was part of the excitement! Yes, we also thought it would be nice if we could meet a nice guy too. I spent alot of that time just observing people.
I used to go alone and write or watch friends jam. I was not there to pick up someone for the night, and I KNOW that not all men are there for that either. But I do know a few relationships going on 20 years who first met at bars.
If you don't like bars, don't go there to try and meet someone. If you enjoy the bars for what they are go and have fun. It's been my experience that the guys who are just out to have fun and not trying to "pick up" sometimes end up picking up anyways. I wonder why that is.....(insert sarcasm).
The women I knew who were regulars knew at the beginning of the night whether they wanted to get lucky that night or not.
I'm not a judgemental person, so assuming that someone is in a bar just for one thing would make me judgemental, now wouldn't it?
That said, in all the times I spent in bars, I've only "gone" after a few men. When I see something I like, I go "get it". I have met men in bars, exchanged numbers and had a date the next day. The important part is that these men were not drunk, we had conversation and a little dancing.
For me, the whole drinking at the bar gets boring when you are there every night of the week. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:53:56 AM | | Wow, this thread is seriously insightful! Sooooooooo not going to a club again! As a single uni student, I was always under the impressions that clubs WERE the place to meet girls. I hated the places tbh, now that I realise I have no need to be there I'm going to be saving myself some much needed cash, my hearing and the embarrassment of attempting to dance to the worst, most commercial, over-played and untalented music on the planet hehe. *kicks open the doors of favorite dingy rock bar* | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:30:19 PM | | I go to bars to dance and have a laugh with my friends,when i was single if i liked someone i would probably just look over a few times n hoped id catch his eye n if i did just smile over,n wait to see if he would approach me,i would hve been too shy to go over n talk to him. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:37:08 PM | a. to pick up men
b. to dance and let loose
c. to be out with the ladies
d. to be out with the ladies and pick up men.
e. to get laid.
Depending on my mood, any or all of the above. Except I don't call my friends ladies. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:45:34 PM | Thank you very much WildHeart for your HONESTY and insight!!! I too know of many that met and have had relationships that have lasted many, many years. As with church, grocery store, the park, PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE and any of those places yield liars , cheats, and drunks. It USED to be the norm years and years ago that if one wanted a decent, christian partner they went to search the churches for them. If one wanted a drunk, one went to the bar. Not so anymore for years now.
Our society and culture is a blending and a melting pot of everything all together these days and one these days can find any of the above groups, levels, or ranges and degrees just about everywhere! It is just a fact of this life and world. One must really be very selective in one's choice! | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:47:22 PM | | B : for me - i just love to dance - i dont drink and you dont really get to hear anything anyone is sayin.....................Jay | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:35:12 PM |
Wow, this thread is seriously insightful! Sooooooooo not going to a club again! As a single uni student, I was always under the impressions that clubs WERE the place to meet girls
Honestly, I go to socialize, hang out with friends, sing karaoke, listen to live music, have a couple of drinks and meet people.
If you are going to "hook up" I havent seen a lot of luck with that. Most women can see you coming a mile away.
I really enjoy meeting people. If that person is just trying to pick me up they will walk away dissatisfied. Now after getting to know someone, then you never know.
I think if you go out to a bar with the intention of just meeting people with no pressure then you could meet someone that could work out. If you go to a bar and treat it like a meat market, you could "get lucky" but then you could get a disease or someone who will come and boil your bunny. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:10:31 PM | My answers --
b. to dance and let loose
c. to be out with the ladies
I've never made it a practice to pick up men in bars. The most lengthy conversations I have are with the bouncer/doorman at the club where I sometimes hang out. Other guys I've ended up talking to in bars have typically approached me. If I make eye contact with someone, my natural response is to smile at them. Most evidently take that as an indicator to come on over. There's never any intent on my part for anything further once I walk out the door. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 6/20/2008 7:53:47 PM | Okay, here's the truth for me... when I was the tender age of 21 and single I went to the bars to get drunk and to check out the guys. There was even a time or two when I took a guy home. Usually after lots and lots of alcohol  . Now that I'm the ripe old age of 39 and having sown my wild oats when I was 21 I now go to the bar to hang out with my friends and socialize. A lot of it depends on the age of the girl that is in the bar as to what they might be there for..... | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/14/2008 11:20:34 AM | Unfortunately as a male (muslim) its just not that easy....
Us guys are as dumb as bricks when it comes to knowing whether someone from the opposite sex is attracted to us...
I agree with your comments about clubs being a "Meat market", however approaching a female at a club or a pub comes across a tad sleazy... and how serious will a female take an approach in a night club?
I was at Uni for four years, and on my graduation night one of my fellow graduates asked me if i were gay because i had not asked her out on a date...
I think in this day and age women and men should just be upfront and honest about how they feel!!! this would have saved me four terriable of marriage... | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/14/2008 12:37:09 PM |
Us guys are as dumb as bricks when it comes to knowing whether someone from the opposite sex is attracted to us...
Trust me. Unless they come out and say it or do something incredibly obvious, I'm quite oblivious myself. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:35:13 PM | i go out to be with my friends and usually hear a good band...
if i happen to meet a guy, great...but that's not the sole purpose for going out - hasn't been since i was in college...lol | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:44:05 PM | | the answer is B i just go out to have some time to myself and have a drin MAYBEY two. I have a 3 year old son and sometimes just need some "me" time. I go to the bar once in 3 - 6 months and spend a hour or two there then come home. It's not to pick up men. MOST men looking for women are in a bar are not LTR material. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:51:11 PM | | I go to let loose with the girls, have some drinks, dance, and have fun. Although we also spend time looking for cute guys :)....but not to take home a sleep with. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:47:27 PM | Mr Look
Interesting turn of events sir. But...I can tell you from experience. A woman who really is happy at home will go out but won't even look. I have a good friend who goes out with myself and another lady. We go out to dance and have a good time. She's tall, model beautiful and VERY happily married for 7 yrs. Men will look and she has a big ass wedding ring on so they don't say anything. But I can tell you that the ones who do don't even get a sure you can buy me a drink. They get a nope, married, sorry!
And if you are happy, then it shouldn't matter. I personally wouldn't date a man who's insecure and jealous. As a woman who does not cheat on her man, I'd never give him a reason to think that I would be doing anything. And I have turned men down before...if I've got a good thing at home waiting, then I'm not going to be worried about anyone else! | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:13:16 PM | Psst - comere...
Women, we don't dress provocatively just for sex. We do it because we like the way it feels and yeah - it's fun to catch an eye. That does NOT mean we're open season and you're the hunter.
I too am in the "B & C" category - I love to go let loose and dance with friends. I would never go pick up a man in a bar. Why? Because he's there to get his d*** wet and has no regard for me as a person.
So just go and have fun and don't try so hard. Besides, if you got a lady who was there for E: - you'd better have a lot of protection and hope she's not married with a 6'5", 250lb man who finds out she's out screwing around on him and meets up with you... and his shotgun and 10 gallon hat. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:14:47 PM | Oh OP
My bad...yeah....NO to d and e my friend...consider your soul harvested (me likey those tasty young ones).
Now I won't speak for all women about D and E. I have a friend who went down that road cause she was mad at her BF...backfired. Badly. Short version--her, drunk. Me, pissed at her for having to drive her drunk a** home. Him, mad at me at first until she opens her mouth and says something to convict her ownself. Him, mad at her and trying to sober her up to be able to argue.
I won't generalize and say that men do D and E either...but I also have see a few too many tan lines to know better. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/14/2008 9:38:45 PM | | thefirstknight23; Do you actually expect an honest answer? All women like to dance, even when they can't move for shit. And it's rare you see them out without their friends. So, your not going to get anyone to answer honestly. Of course they want to get free drinks, pick up by men (to add to the collection), and get laid. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/15/2008 5:02:35 AM |
Of course they want to get free drinks, pick up by men (to add to the collection), and get laid.
Speaking of adding to a collection..you, my friend, are invited to the SH Club's BBQ...just because you're kinda of macho and a bit ummm...I think conceited might be the word?....yeah anyway.
I don't know where you go but apparently the women there swarm all over the guys (you maybe?) and don't just enjoy themselves? Seriously...you seem smarter than that. Unless that's the type of woman you want??
OP--I realize that many men THINK that they're going to go home with a hot chick--just realize that sometimes, if you do, she might have gone home with someone else last week. Not saying it's always the case but gents, if it's that easy for YOU, who else might it have been easy for too???
.........AFL.......(man nuts roasting on an open fire).......... | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/15/2008 5:09:13 AM |
thefirstknight23; Do you actually expect an honest answer? All women like to dance, even when they can't move for shit. And it's rare you see them out without their friends. So, your not going to get anyone to answer honestly. Of course they want to get free drinks, pick up by men (to add to the collection), and get laid.
Naturally if you go for that reason, you think everyone else does.
Most of my friends and I don't want drinks from men because men think you owe them for it...so we either drink before going or buy our own.
And if you think most women don't already know who they're sleeping with before they leave the house, you got a lot to learn. Most of us have bfs who are outsomewhere else, booty calls we make to someone who's not there, or hookups we already know. Those who don't plan to have sex won't have it - regardless of who they meet. And the RARE couple of women who will go home with you are pretty frequent and have done it before, a lot...no matter what they tell you. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:47:29 AM | DJ^^^^
I think that some people will never "get" people that go to clubs often and actually don't drink, make fools or sleep with everyone who works at the bar. I know both men and women who have this view of men and women who go to clubs and I KNOW that that view is not always the case. But because we were almost part of the "staff" when we hung out at bars, we know this alot better than some others.
There are nice men and women everywhere - bars included. A negative viewpoint will always strike you out. | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/15/2008 7:24:28 AM | I NEVER go to a bar/club to pick up a man or get laid. When I go to a bar/club it is to dance & let loose or just to be out with friends. The last thing I want is to pick up some man in a bar only to have a Coyote Ugly moment later on.  | |
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| Woman at the bars and clubs!
Posted: 9/15/2008 7:36:30 AM | DJChickie, I was just thinking the same thing...I've always gotten less "attention" when I was dressed to the nines, than I do when I drive to the corner gas station in the morning barefooted in sweat pants, with yesterday's mascara under my eyes and my hair in a messy ponytail!
I guess it's all my fault, because it's obvious I go there looking like a bag lady, trying to trap me a man! | |
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