| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:36:20 PM | Sometimes when you are really excited by someone, you can't wait to hear from them. Maybe it's not so much that he misses you, but can't help but think about you. This just may be the only way he knows how to express this without seeming obsessed with you.
Could be kinna cute, just meet him and decide from there. | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:36:59 PM | "Miss you" implies having a priori pleasure of the company of the other, which is not available for a period. During this period the misser feels like being with the missee.
Is this feeling warranted within one or two days of the commencement of a new acquaintance? Impossible for me to say, but if many emails had been sent (more than to your friend or sister on the picture, at the busiest day) then it's safe to say that the young man could have got acclimatized to having you around in spirit, and it may be a true descriptor of his emotional state.
If his emotional intensity creeps you out, whether because you feel it's honest or because it's dishonest, remember: The nicest guys always start out as creeps. That's the first reason why they always finish last. | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:33:38 PM | Several weeks, eh? Talked everyday too and a couple of times on the phone. I'd say it's the first phase of a healthy relationship & that normal feelings are developing. His expressions of love are different than what you've encountered. How would you answer this question, "Are you and your spouse (boyfriend, acquaintance, etc) speaking the same language?"
Gary Chapman puts it aptly when he states that while love is a many splendored thing, it is sometimes a very confusing thing too. And as people come in all varieties, shapes, sizes, so do their choices of personal expressions of love. But more often than not, the giver and the receiver express love in two different ways. This can lead to misunderstanding, quarrels, and even divorce. The 5 Love languages are: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
When we are young, we mimic those around us, whether it be our parents or other relationships that have an impact on our upbringings. Sometimes people offer us their wisdom, other times we just struggle through it ourselves. There are several things I'd recommend, first learn about the 5 Love Languages and second, find an older couple who could mentor you, someone you trust and who already have a successful relationship themselves. Remember, a healthy relationship must support life and love through intimacy, communication, forgiveness, trust, giving and receiving, commitment and letting go. These are the fundamental building blocks for a strong emotional foundation that will endure over time and distance.
Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. Learn to speak and understand your mate’s love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return. Skillful communication is within your grasp!
Here is the 30-second assessment on "The Five Love Languages" Which one MOST likely describes you? (Answers will be provided in my next response)
1) I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and the simple, everyday things I do.
2) I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.
3) I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love.
4) I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores.
5) I feel especially loved when a person expresses feeling for me through physical contact.
**~Remington55~** 
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:54:14 PM | O/P ~ To solve any problem, here are three questions to ask yourself: First, what could I do? Second, what could I read? And third, who could I ask? So it appears that you have asked questions, and now you seek answers.
Earlier I presented Gary Chapman's 30-second assessment on "The Five Love Languages." Here are your answers to your response on which one MOST likely describes you, hopefully you've chosen ONE of the 5 options...
Answers:
1) You have chosen "Words of Affirmation" as your primary Love Language. You feel loved when another person tells you that he or she values you as a person and appreciates your special way with the most ordinary tasks.
2) You have chosen "Quality Time" as your primary Love Language. You feel closet to another person when you receive focused attention.
3) You have chosen "Receiving Gifts" as your primary Love Languages. Tangible expressions of love assure you that the other person is not only thinking of you, but that he or she cares enough to show it.
4) You have chosen "Acts of Service" as your primary Love Language. You feel most loved when someone helps you carry out your responsibilities.
5) You have chosen "Physical Touch" as your primary Love Language. You feel most loved when you literally make contact with another person. You enjoy being embraced and feeling another's touch.
For me, I chose #5 because physical touch is my primary love language. My last relationship ended because I didn't know her language & she didn't know mine, as with any relationship I always seek ways to improve myself. If I want to see positive changes, then I must adapt and be that change. Hope this helped...
**~Remington55~**
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:02:07 PM | That's just a line of affection.
Letting you know that he is thinking of you and misses talking to you should in no way be taken offensively. I mean, I don't know the whole situation; but I'm not a psycho. If there was a woman who I missed talking with, I would let her know, just to make her feel good. | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:10:18 PM | | I agree it's creepy. He's in a world of his own and not thinking foremost where your mind is at. Ditch him. You haven't even met him. Ewwww!!!! Run Baby Girl, run! | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:29:39 PM |
...been talking online to someone for a few weeks, and you've spoken a couple times on the phone ...that seems nice and he appreciates me for all the right reasons...
First red flag here is you. Why haven't you met this person yet? You use online to find and pre-screen people to meet. "Dating" is a face-face process.
If we've been chatting for a few weeks and talked on the phone a few times, but have never met - you're out of the "potential date" group and in the "only wants a chat-buddy" group.
yet when I talk to him online almost every day he says something like " I miss you" even though he's never actually met me in person, AND it's only been a day since we've last spoken. Sounds like honest emotions are developing here. You either need to meet this guy or stop occupying his time. | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:43:24 PM | I'm new to online dating, so I need some honest opinions on this one. What if you've been talking online to someone for a few weeks, and you've spoken a couple times on the phone but right away they start saying things like " I miss you" or " I was thinking about you".. I've been speaking to a guy here that seems nice and he appreciates me for all the right reasons, yet when I talk to him online almost every day he says something like " I miss you" even though he's never actually met me in person, AND it's only been a day since we've last spoken. Is this a red flag? Please let me know.
And yet if this guy was your true Prince Charming, your lights out knock your socks off guy who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, would you be here posting "Does he miss me?" or "Was he thinking of me?" if he suddenly decided to clip his fingernails before his toenails this week but did it ... GASP... different last week.
Toenails first.... Fingernails second....
Fingernails first ..... Good God Mary And Joseph.... Toenails second.....
You said he treats you well. You obviously like talking to him enough to talk to him online every day and sometimes on the phone. And his biggest crime is letting you know he appreciates you and considers a lack of your presence to be something to give him pause?
And most women wonder why most men don't open up and don't say much and don't share how they feel?
Guess what ladies, when you punish men for telling you how they feel, they will stop telling you how they feel. He wasn't asking for sex. He wasn't asking for 10K for an emergency. He wasn't asking for you to buy a water filter from him and to tell ten of your closest friends about a "business opportunity" he'd like to share.
One day you will meet a lights out knock your socks off kind of guy. A guy you won't nitpick for every little imperfection. Instead you will fret and worry about what he thinks of you, because he won't feel the same way about you that you do about him. And his feelings for you may stay or go based on something completely arbitrary. And you might find out about it. And you'll sit there and think, "That's it. This guy I really cared about, I'll never know where this could go or have a real chance because of this small thing?"
And you'll wonder how anyone could treat another person like that.
Will you wonder how anyone could treat a person like that?
Remember this thread five or ten years from now, life has a funny way of being a wheel, where everyone spends some time at the top, and some time at the bottom, and I promise you, you won't wonder for long.
Good job ladies, you've convinced even more men to share even less about themselves to you. | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:37:56 PM | Personally, it would bother me a bit. I would be wondering how he could miss me if we haven't even met or known each other in real life yet. I don't like the feeling of people getting attached to me before meeting.
But then, it could just be his way of saying he misses your company on here or talking to you. But if he is a busy guy with work and school, like you said... he shouldn't be having that much time to be obsessing over missing you.
Maybe next time say something on the lines of.... how can you miss me with being so busy. OR how can you miss me when we haven't even gotten to know each other in real life. | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:50:21 PM | Sounds like he,s sooooooo desperate,
I,d agree with post 2
Red flag,carefull | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:04:12 PM | don't read too much into an email.
Besides, men are typically not in touch with the subtleties of communication as women are. He's thinking about you. Isn't that what you want? Or do you prefer a disinterested narcissist or musician perhaps? | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:39:54 PM | I talked to a guy online for just over two years before we actually met..
He would always say he missed me and could not wait to see me...I have had other guys say the same things to me and it always creeped me out...but with this guy, my felt the same..and I am now actually living with him and completely in love!!
I think you just know...if you are feeling creeped out, its most probably for a good reason..
good luck and welcome to the world of online dating
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:55:06 PM | OP,
It's like Pour said, if it's some serviceman doing his duty for our country in a strange land, you may be an important morale boost at the end of his day.
Otherwise, my vote is for ~c r e e p y!~ | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:47:35 AM | Post 34 makes some valid observations, IMO.
Of course, they could be valid in the OP case, or they could be not.
Plus:
The argumentation that nice guys come across as creeps in the beginning is .... creepy!
Yet has a ring of truth in it. Not that I know, though!
Opinions, they are like ...., everybody has one. What matters is the OP's opinion.
And being careful while at the same time, seizing the day. The art of living!
Is the Op looking for a BF or husband material?
If the former, being creeped is enough of a reason to move on! | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:57:00 AM | Ok,ok, what has happened to the art of COMMUNICATION?
Why not just ask him (hey what a novel idea!) what exactly he means by that statement.
I would, but then again, I tend to be straightforward with my thoughts and concerns..
Good luck OP! | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 2:24:14 AM | I would have to say that if you really see some potential in this guy, meet him. But be safe about it. Public place, lots of people and make sure someone knows where you are going etc.
I still talk to the first person I met online and that was over 10 years ago.I have never met him but I do miss him and tell him that almost everytime we speak. It is possible to miss someone without ever meeting them as a few have mentioned in this post.
I am sure we have all had that "click" with someone and were excited to hear from them or speak with them again.
I say give the guy a chance, what do you have to lose?
Good Luck! | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 3:37:10 AM | | Just another case of a woman who gets attention, then decides she doesn't want it. Just like some guys aren't attracted to women unless he has to 'chase' her, lots of women aren't attracted to guys who show 'too much' interest. You know, every single pick up artist book teaches this; show disinterest to get her interested. Don't be honest in how you feel. Tease her, make her 'miss you'. And the sad thing about all these games, is that they work. OP, you have a man who likes you, enjoys conversing with you, and is honest about it. And, you don't like it. We're damned if we do, and damned if we don't. Some women can't stand lies, the others can't stand the truth. And you wonder why men are so screwed up! | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:32:47 AM | its called infactuation....it happens to all of us..its not necessarily a red flag...when do u plan on meeting..and why is it taking soo long?? Do u just wanna be a pen-pal to him?? He's sounds a little desperate, but thats understandable..he's prolly lonely..
Kick it up a notch..meet the dude..and see what happens..however, u may want a g/f waiting in the shadows in case something goes bad..:-) | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:45:46 AM | Woah, thanks for your responses. But some of you are giving me flack for this and you don't even know the whole situation! It's not like I'm an ice queen who doesn't know how to give men affection. My point was that he's never met me before, and he pretty much tells me he misses ME every day when we talk. So my questions with that are: just how can you miss me when we've never met in person, and also how can you miss me when we pretty much talk every single day? ( In which on most occasions we do, but he continues to say that he misses me anyways!) Missing someone requires a lack of a precense...I'm sorry, but when you talk to someone every day you pretty much have their full attention.
Also, to answer some of you I HAVE asked him what he means when he says that he misses me, and he simply says that he honestly genuinely does miss me... | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 5:28:00 AM |
" I miss you" or " I was thinking about you".. .....And he hasn't met you in person yet? It sounds to me as if he is marking his territory and trying to emboss "ownership".....Definately a red flag.
Your profile has you as Talk/Email.....nothing more, however I feel he is trying to turn it into something more.  | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 5:54:04 AM | don't read into too much of what is said on the 'net or the tele...ppl. scrutinize wayyy too much and much of it is misunderstood.It's happened to me thousands of times..
As to the 'miss me' part..what exactly does he miss??..the only logical answer is ..'your voice'..'your convo'...your laugh'..or whatever...but he cannot miss your body..your eyes...your soul..because you have not met yet!!
I get the impression you like this dude..but only as a friend..get on with it already!! Either meet him..(with g/f close by)..or tell him to bugg off..i realize you 2 are young..but enough games already...give the dude a chance..he sounds rather harmless...but have a backup plan & friend..just in case..
Could he be a bit lonely or clingy?/ Sure he could, but thats not really dangerous...as long as you meet at a public place..come in a friends car..use common sense..etc..i think you'll be fine.. | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:17:09 AM |
My point was that he's never met me before, and he pretty much tells me he misses ME every day when we talk. So my questions with that are: just how can you miss me when we've never met in person, and also how can you miss me when we pretty much talk every single day? ( In which on most occasions we do, but he continues to say that he misses me anyways!) Missing someone requires a lack of a precense...I'm sorry, but when you talk to someone every day you pretty much have their full attention.
Exactly. You can't miss someone you've never met, but you can look forward to the conversation...so next time tell him you enjoy the talks as well, and redirect him and tell him you know he REALLY means the conversations daily. If he says no - that he misses you - then yeah that's odd. And the second half is true as well, you can't miss someone who hasn't left...nothing wrong with your questions, you're using your head about it. I totally agree with you.
I still say it's possible that he's needy and/or manipulative...just be careful about it... | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:33:32 AM |  You chicks think too much.
He's interested in you, likes your voice, and misses talking to you. Period. Want to prove this theory? Be snotty with him next time. He'll stop calling. | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:57:20 AM |
"Miss you" implies having a priori pleasure of the company of the other, which is not available for a period.
"A priori"? How many people do you think have heard of the word, let alone understand it?
I don't think it's many, which means you encrypted your own sentence which is supposed be helpful to many.
Sorry, couldn't help myself. You gotta play dumb sometimes otherwise no one will understand you. | |
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| I want your opinion
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:14:03 AM | "...is a huge turn-off for me, and I don't know if I should even follow through with meeting him or just cut off all ties of communication"
Women always want what they can't have and he's making himself to available for you I think total wuss behavior that's turning you off even though he is probably the nicest guy ever...... | |
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