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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:11:56 AM | excellent answer Harveywallbanger - I know it must seem like us women are constantly mentally 'analysing' you guys but us humans are complicated creatures lol (yes you men are too!)  | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:15:22 AM | In a nutshell, whatever we do, chances are we're doing it for what we believe it will take to secure another meeting. We're kind of stuck on this really and have no choice but to wait for her to make the first move.
Mr. Sputters doesn't care what we're trying to focus on. Maybe he's up for some exercise and maybe he wants to stay down for the night. His schedule is determined by our physical condition. If we've just finished a twelve hour day at work, chances are that any sexually suggestive behaviour we emphasize is based not on our actual desire for sex but on stroking her ego so that we can continue to see her. Other times, despite the fact that there's nothing we'd love more than to bury our tubesteak in her glory pudding, we'll beat the first thing that "pops up" with a hammer so as not to offend her. Rosie O'Donnel in a negligee is a less painful method as well. Anyway, I digress...
The point is that there are myriad reasons why a man might not seek to make the beast with two backs at the earliest opportunity. It depends on our desire and/or how well we think we've read her own desire. We just don't know and because we also have an interest in feigning sexual desire despite how we actually feel, it becomes confusing for both the man and the woman. Frankly, it's a can of worms and we're better to simply go with the flow and accept whatever is as it is.
Incidentally, the cynics figure that if we don't want it with her then it must be because we're getting it from somebody else. Now, that's just silly. Firstly, why would we even bother dating another woman just to get sex if we weren't trying to get sex ? Secondly, no matter how many times somebody gets burned, the only way they can be certain they'll never get burned again is to stay away from the fire. Well, unfortunately, that fire is where the action is as well, so sooner or later, if anybody ever wants a date again, they're going to have to drop their guard and simply take a person's word. Thankfully for the human race, most people keep on heading for that fire. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:30:14 AM | To be blunt, there's two very good reasons.
The first is, just pressuring a woman to have sex will have the opposite effect of ensuring you probably won't get any. As a matter of intelligent tactical decisions, pressuring a woman to have sex will make her uncomfortable, and an uncomfortable woman is a woman who will not be putting out.
The second is, men can be insecure and worry on their own, without any nobler thoughts. I know I didn't kiss my last girlfriend until long after I should have because I was afraid of what would happen. Why push when we're uncertain ourselves? | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:40:37 AM |
Guys, please do enlighten us...
When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
It's because I'm being a gentlemen, I would never pressure people. If they wanted to have sex, it'll be because SHE wants me, not from ME pressuring her.
This thread sounds a little stereotypical towards men if you ask me. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:55:15 AM | | Myself, I do have morals and do my best to uphold them. Act and being a gentleman is one of them. My question is pressuring her for sex will it be any good even if it works? Doubtful. Two timing hurts guys just as much as gals, so why lie. OMG that coulda been a 3 way !! What was I thinking lol | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 3:07:51 AM | When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
If we're both ready, it will happen without me pressuring her for it to any extremes. If she's not ready I'm fine with that. I don't sleep around outside of relationships so it is extremely unlikely that I would be getting it anywhere else. I've never actually had to put a lot of pressure on a woman for sex, though. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:35:44 AM | hey! we can be finicky too! maybe we just want to be friends. maybe we want to get to know her before we jump into that can of worms. maybe were not drunk enough. maybe were just playing coy to drive her anticipation crazy enough to tie us up to the bedposts and give us a thrashing
now go and turn on your feminine charm to see what were thinking | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:47:54 AM | SHE will not have a prayer of getting "any" from ME until I am in LOVE with her and the feeling is mutual. No mystery to it at all, really.
And the "other" thread that inspired this one ... I found depressing that [apparently?] SO many women can have "seeds of doubt" planted so easily. Maybe it was the talk of sweets that might have "muddled" a lot of brains in that thread??? | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:48:31 AM | Some of you guys I think are not understanding why Classyfiedally was asking this question......
There was a man, over on AskAGirl asking us this question.
He stated that he has a "friend" (uh, huh) who does this and was asking us
(in a nutshell) if we thought this way about the situation.
Now, MOST of us had really never given this much thought AT ALL.....it wasn't a thought that most of us have at the forefront of our minds..... that if a man didn't pressure us for sex that he was getting it somewhere else. See? This OP (a man) over in AskaChick said he was there to do us favor (so he said) basically and enlighten us all ....etc...blah, blah, blah. Again, it's not something that most of us really ever thought about seriously.
Go over in AskaGirl and read the thread please and I think you will understand (to those of you who don't) what was going on over there to prompt Classyfiedally to start this thread. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:50:59 AM | Doesn't it occur to women that Prince Charming doesn't grab women's butts ?
On the one hand, you're gratefully surprised when he doesn't grab your butt.
On the other hand, you're sorrowfully disappointed if he doesn't grab your butt.
Naturally, you assume he's grabbing someone else's butt, so you start asking around who's butt's getting grabbed by Prince Charming.
When you can't find anyone, then obviously Prince Charming must be gay.
Look, if you want to play, then you know where he keeps his toys don't you ? | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 5:39:54 AM | | Respect and desire for the relationship to last. Plus putting pressure on a woman to have sex is just lame. You let it happen naturally. Asking or begging for sex is one of the dumbest things a guy can do, and he should be emasculated for it. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:28:34 AM | Why did you stop at two?
- it can be because the show's a good one
- it can be because she's a good friend but I've been told she's lesbian.
- it can be because I can see the white line of the recently removed rings.
etc etc | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:08:41 AM | why would we even bother dating another woman just to get sex if we weren't trying to get sex?
The example in the other thread was a lifelong bachelor who usually dates two women at a time. He is usually sleeping with one of them, therefore doesn't feel the need to try and sleep with the other (since his needs are being met). Woman #2 then feels no pressure and ends up making the first move. (According to the OP over there anyway.) So it's not that the guy didn't want sex from woman #2, just that he didn't feel an urgent need for it.
This thread sounds a little stereotypical towards men if you ask me.
I disagree with this. Stereotypical would have been if I'd said, "Every man I meet does this"....or, "Why do all men do this"...or, "Why do I have to have sex with a man before I'm ready"...you get my point.
MOST of us had really never given this much thought AT ALL.....it wasn't a thought that most of us have at the forefront of our minds..... that if a man didn't pressure us for sex that he was getting it somewhere else. See? This OP (a man) over in AskaChick said he was there to do us favor (so he said) basically and enlighten us all
Thank you, Clas. This is true. And I must say that I am pleased (in a neener kind of way) at the responses in this thread. Personally, I didn't and still don't believe the majority of men are like "that". I also happen to trust myself enough to be able to determine if a man is a player or if he's really interested in me. So please don't be offended anyone ~ it was a question posed to you more to confirm what I believe than to confirm anything negative. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:16:08 AM |
Doesn't it occur to women that Prince Charming doesn't grab women's butts ?
On the one hand, you're gratefully surprised when he doesn't grab your butt.
On the other hand, you're sorrowfully disappointed if he doesn't grab your butt.
Naturally, you assume he's grabbing someone else's butt, so you start asking around who's butt's getting grabbed by Prince Charming.
Yep. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:35:35 AM |
When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
I would say that in my case it is neither. I'm certainly no gentleman and while I'm usually getting it somewhere else, that wouldn't be the reason I'm not applying "pressure"...if in fact I was not.
If I'm dating someone and I'm not pushing for sex...it is most likely because I simply don't feel like putting forth the effort. It usually happens soon enough anyways.
F. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:43:38 AM | So he's either not into you, getting it somewhere else, or is a pig. I tell ya we just can't win. lol.
Why did you stop at two?
- it can be because the show's a good one Hey is star trek on??
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:01:22 AM | ^^^ sorry for the rerun here...
The fastest way to lose a woman is to treat her like a sex object.
The second fastest way is to not treat her like a sex object.
Some guys are speed demons, others like to dawdle along the way and enjoy the view. Some guys can go either way depending on their mood, the view, and other (mostly intangible) variables.
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:05:10 AM |
When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
It's because I don't want to have sex with her until I'm comfortable enough. Once I get to that point, I'd ask her if she's interested, but I'd never "put pressure" on her. I'm not going to have sex with a woman unless she's getting every bit as much out of it as I am. Putting pressure on her would make it very much a one-way street, and I have no desire for that. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:39:40 AM | depends on the guy?
I try to avoid pressure, as forcing an issue like that will only hurt the relationship in the long run. Good things come to those who wait, after all.
but I doubt there aren't guys out there who're just getting some on the side, and thus, not really eager to switch. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:19:58 AM |
If I walked on water, you would say it's because I can't swim.
Some of you guys I think are not understanding why Classyfiedally was asking this question......
Probably true. The only time I've heard women say he/you must be getting it somewhere else is after the honeymoon period and the sex life starts to slack off a bit.
LOL... but then sometimes if it doesn't slack off you're a freaking perv and that's the only reason you're with her...
Thought I'd toss that out there... just for sh!ts and giggles...
I don't pressure for sex... just friendly flirting and let her set the pace and intensity of the flirting. Wait till she brings it up.
I tried making a concious effort to be a gentleman once. I heard later that she was disappointed that I didn't try to jump her bones... | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:21:24 PM | It depends on the girl. Generally it's because I actually like her and want it to be more than a one night stand, so I just let things proceed at their own pace.
If I am trying to sleep with her on the first meeting, it's because chances are I never ever want to see her again.
Of course, there are exceptions if there's been a lot of talking first on the phone or email or what not, because that kind of intimacy is a sort of proxy for multiple dates. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:02:12 PM | Because I'm a gentleman. I've met a lot of friends - platonic - on the internet. If the chemistry isn't there, she signals with her reserve. If I like her, why lose a friend by pressuring for something that isn't going to happen anyway?
BTW, if I'm getting it somewhere, I'm not out dating other women. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:01:41 PM |
The fastest way to lose a woman is to treat her like a sex object.
The second fastest way is to not treat her like a sex object.
Now I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there!
So help me God? lol
<----- A gentleman
I knew it, cuz I know stuff.  | |
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