| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:03:35 AM | | For me, it's because I'm simply not the kind of guy that thinks of sex as the end-all, be-all of human existance. To quote Jay and Silent Bob from Clerks,"What's a good plate with nothing on it?" | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:01:40 AM | It could be for a variety of resons. It all depends on the situation. If the chemistry is there, and both parties are for it I say do it! But typically it's taboo to do it on the first date...I've done both, waited and just jumped in. If you want sex, just ask...If he makes you wait too long, just move on... | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 11:21:29 AM |
When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
Depends on the guy in question.
I suppose you can label it being a gentleman, but I just prefer to think of it as me being smart.
In my experience, women tend to think that because a man has sex with her, he wants a relationship. The whole sex equals love thing. Now, not all women obviously but I think a large portion of ya think this way. When I was a youngster, I didn't much care. The libido rules things. Now? I'm at the age where I'm way beyond not giving this any thought. I give it a lot of thought, because I want more than just sex. I want some comfort and stability in the relationship first, and we'll eventually get to being intimate if all the rest is there. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 1:49:39 PM | Contrary to the injured woman's belief there are nice guys out there and some of them even have a brain. I agree with Mr. Happy pants.....
Things work both ways......I've been in situations where the guy thinks its the end all and wants to move forward at warp speed.....talking future and marriage....hmmm not a good thing with all women...at least not with me.....not after a month of "dating".....whoahh Nelly!!!!!! but on the other hand after two years of dating......if there isn't a spark or urge to walk down the aisle....simply slip out the back door....why waste your time?......a little off topic but just sparked some thoughts about what he said when women have sex and expect a relationship or marriage.....
Everyone is different.......... | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:03:57 PM |
When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
Heaven forbid a man should go against the stereotype of being a ****-driven sex hound. Because something must be wrong if he's not trying to rip your pants off, right?
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:09:02 PM | Not all women are like another. You must figure each one as best you can one at a time because each person is different. I feel I will never figure out men at times, but then I remember they are all individuals and game playing or lying is a waste of time. I understand where you are coming from...and we women appreciate your time responding. I prefer things to go slower and a man really get to know me before he tries to have sex with me because I am a lady first. But I miss being in love and feeling loved. Understood. I think you must do too. tadpolepaula just remember there are still more fish out there. keep looking. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:18:02 PM | Classy,
Rest assured, the main goal is to get some. I'm a guy, this is what guys do. But I am a gentlemen as well and would rather wait....(sometime painfully)..Until we both feel its time to get it on. There is a time limit though, so if there is a date and another and another then obviously there is something there?
A woman's intuition is a powerful ally. If you think he is getting some else where, it certainly his prerogative because he is not bound to you. Make your intentions clear by date 4...or you are just stringing it along and wasting time. You can get some just as much as the rest of us. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 6:05:46 PM |
I only date 1 woman at a time, so it's not because I'm getting it anywhere else. I've never put pressure on a woman for sex, but I've noticed that saying no on the first date usually leads to having pressure put on me on the second date. Damn! That explains a LOT! I always thought it was better to wait until the 3rd date. Could I be wrong?
Because of this, I would think a woman might want a guy to show a desire for her, even if she has no intention of sleeping with him anytime soon. What about "no means no"? I know a lot of women who had sex only because the guy pressured her into it. Am I expected to try it on with her, and then expect her to fight me off? If she isn't that strong in herself to push me off, am I expected to assume she "wanted it"? No wonder so many men are called perverts.
I think I'll stick to my way, although maybe I'll say something in future, to the effect that I'd like sex to be there at some point in the dating process.
Personally, I cannot believe that women need to be told. All my friends can tell if I fancy a woman, way before I know. The "smarter sex"? Women pick up on signals more than men do? What is it? Is that because women are more emotional than men, that if they like you, they get so emotional they cannot tell, but if they don't like you, they don't and can read you like a book? What's up with that? | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 11:13:44 PM | The only expectation I have is good company and a good time if we've gotten to the stage where we feel comfortable meeting. If the chemistry's there, then things evolve naturally in that direction.
If there is no chemistry we'll most likely just be friends. I've made friends with a lot of great women that way.
Being stupid, and trying to force things that simply aren't there by pressuring a woman to have sex with you, is a sure-fire way to achieve the opposite. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/20/2008 11:19:40 PM | Heaven forbid a man should go against the stereotype of being a ****-driven sex hound. Because something must be wrong if he's not trying to rip your pants off, right?
The poster who said that sums it up, men walk a very fine line with most women lol... | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:36:51 AM | what is wrong with respecting women?
seriously would you prefer we all were getting some elsewhere just so you could be right?
doesnt mean i dont want anything from you, far far from it but can you blame me for trying to get to know someone? | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:33:12 AM | Haha, both sides of this debate (i loved seeing both sexes respond) are very informational... but my 'complaint' is that you men have no business asking me the clolour of my underwear if you ever expect to have a first date. I've never even met you, and you think any self-respecting female would answer that, let alone be persuaded to meet you with that kind of talk. Or how tight I am... you kiss your mother with that mouth... I wonder is this a dating site or a pick-up bar.... | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:36:54 AM |
Because she doesn't wear my size.
And her style of clothes wouldn't look good on me.
Oh and Miss, what IS the color of your underwear?  | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:37:35 AM | I said this before but it goes for this too.
Maybe he is like me. Over the years I have had it beaten in to my head that if a guy tries for sex early in a relationship than that is all he wants. Well that's how the woman will see it anyway. Because of this I rarely will ever make the first move or even talk about sex unless the woman brings it up first. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:49:08 AM | | no sometimes guys think your the real deal but they dont want to mess it up.women always think men have other agendas may be hes a nice guy like me .we now live in the world were love is not love anymore its disstorted.also sometimes a man has a booty call but trust him until he gives you a reason not to trust | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:14:56 AM | I think eventually men grow up and learn to never pressure a woman for sex.
Sex is part of a relationship and is always right when it's right for both parties.
If a man's getting it "some place else" He's not being honest with the relationship and probably should be with"some place else" | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:44:40 PM | | me personally ....i like to give a woman her space and let her decide when shes ready...as for getting it elcewhere not gona happen if shes special enough to date or more she deserves my full attenion I prefer monogomy | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:57:04 PM | | I've never been in a relationship, but I can tell you when I put no pressure on a woman for sex, it's because I'd rather save myself for marriage. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:03:44 PM |
When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
Could be just a gentleman, but most women would never believe it. If you don't try then they think you are getting laid elsewhere, gay, asexual or who knows what. Thinking a guy is a gentleman is way down the list.
Could be he just likes your company and enjoys the time spent together without the added complications of a intimate relationship. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/22/2008 6:27:36 AM | This question implies the answer to another question, "Is the person your dating also seeing other people?, if yes then that would exclude the gentlemen.
If the guy your dating is also seeing other people, then its most likely that he is getting it somewhere else, because a gentlemen would not see other people in a dating/friends with benefits kind of way while dating you.
I'd begin by making sure you have an exclusive thing going if that's what your looking for before worrying further. If your exclusive and the guy is not pressuring the woman for sex, its because he is a gentleman. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/22/2008 8:13:38 AM | I haven't stopped by this thread for some time and I see some are still either not reading the entire thing or they are and just choose to ignore what I made clear early on ~ my original post was a general question. It was not based on my personal experience, I am not the "injured woman" as stated here:
Contrary to the injured woman's belief there are nice guys out there and some of them even have a brain.
and I have personally not been in a dating situation where this question ever entered my mind.
I do find it refreshing, however, to see so many of you guys respond with views that show your true respect for women. Good for you!
The last relationship I entered was at the age of 37 and I have hardly dated at all since it ended three years ago. So I have yet to experience middle aged dating. Oy vey. Sounds like it's gonna be fun...  | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/22/2008 12:39:14 PM |
When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
Could also be that I'm not 16. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/22/2008 3:33:14 PM | | Years ago, I was told that I should treat a woman I date the same way that I would want a 'date' to treat my sister. This bit of advice may sound trite and simplistic, but it has worked for me & one thing I know any of my former girlfriends must admit is that I never tried to force them to do anything that they did not want. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 7/22/2008 6:42:54 PM | | My line of thinking lady is that any gal that is willing to let a guy screw her on the first date - is the LAST gal I want to screw with. How many other dudes has she done on the first date? No mam- I like my little friend and I will keep him safe - show a woman some respect, and not expect anything other then a kiss goodnight. ( Assuming the date went well) | |
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