| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:16:03 AM | Now we're into fashion... Okay, if I wear levis, boots, clean up real nice... go to a fairly decent establishment and meet a person for lunch... I don't expect him to pay the tab, and if he does , (and I say IF) I pick up the tip.....and if it's dutch... thats cool too.. I might be old ...: but, old fashion , proper manners, ect... doesn't it all boil up to respect??? JMO Friend, business partner.. ect.. Respect.... | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:19:08 AM | dutch
This date was when I was very new to post divorce/millenium dating, in fact it was one of the first! I felt that I had chosen and bought the tickets and that this was my choice and my date. He was clearly sensitive about it and afterwards offered me other dates which seemed to equal and outstrip my choice - almost as if in competition. I felt that in accepting him to pay for his ticket I would have been acknowledging that my date idea had been a disaster I think - so pride was a part of it. He quickly got to know my tastes in accepting my date, but the balance of relationship was out of kilter to my preference in getting to know HIM in the early stages. So now I prefer to start off as the receiver.
Dutch is something I do with my girlfriends and family when we go out. I would not do it with a partner unless the relationship was very established. The purpose of dating in the early days, for me, is to get to know someone. Accepting his hospitality is part of getting to know the person. Further on in a relationship, for instance with my present romance, I have invited him as my guest. Cooking a meal in my home to impress is harder than it appears! I think about it for days and plan it well ahead ... I like it to be perfect, or at least give a very good impression. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:27:09 AM | Preta...believe it or not, I agree that cooking for someone...a special meal...is no small potatoes. But again, when this whole entertaining fiasco of a thread started...we were not referring to the typical timeframe it takes two people to feel comfy in the others home...so I felt this was no valid debate material. I LOVE to cook for someone...and I am damn good, so I enjoy not only showing off my skills, but watching them truly enjoy it. :)
Maybe your date to the theater felt it was pretty lucrative or fancy for a first date? Who knows why some are the way they are, and others are different...not complaining because it would be a very boring world if we were all identical and shared the exact same opinions! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:36:41 AM |
Maybe your date to the theater felt it was pretty lucrative or fancy for a first date
No. I go a lot to the theatre, love opera, and any partner of mine would need to know that. My point was that he was plunged into the world of 'me' from the first date. That was a mistake, and a bit of a waste of money for me. However, had he declined the date I would have been stuck with an empty chair beside me!
You live and learn. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:04:15 PM | Nice attitude there. At least you admit your selfishness
Don't be silly. I think you have a tainted view of women (from what I have read) - maybe you have had your heart broken - join the Club. I choose to be the receiver because I feel happy with that, we ARE only talking about a round of drinks after all - nothing major. I don't want to get hurt, you don't want to get hurt - we hold each other at arm's length - at least in the early days.
I am not a gold digger - quite the opposite in fact! It is hard to find a man who is not prioritised by financial matters - especially when you offer stability and strength. I am perfectly capable of paying for drinks, food, living, I choose not to offer this to a stranger until I get to like him a lot! I am as scared as you are. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:26:13 PM |
I am perfectly capable of paying for drinks, food, living, I choose not to offer this to a stranger until I get to like him a lot!
But you sure do expect or take that from him when he barely knows you. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:42:09 PM | | John Duke - I do not TAKE that from him. He offers it - willingly - hopefully he thinks that I might be a good bet. This is nothing to do with duty or obligation. Dating might by shyte but at least you can cut and run at any time - either of you! Arm's length - remember. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:13:53 PM | After reading all these posts..I really don't even want to go on a date!..I guess I have been lucky and never came across people who are so worried about who is going to pay for what especially if you like someone......Stop thinking so much about it and just enjoy it...... | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:41:02 PM | | I agree that it was probably bad taste for the woman to now offer but on the first date you should just expect to pick up the tab and call it good. After that though, the woman should pony up a lil or at least ask. If she doesnt lose her number, if she is selfish in the bar, imagine how she is going to be in othe "situations". | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:23:24 PM | Re Post 835:
"After reading all these posts..I really don't even want to go on a date!..I guess I have been lucky and never came across people who are so worried about who is going to pay for what especially if you like someone......Stop thinking so much about it and just enjoy it......"
I beg to differ. Leave the who pays for the drinks issue aside and "enjoy" what? A few dates and a fling? In such a case, it may make sense to do so.
But when/if people are interested in finding a serious partner/SO, the who pays for the drinks issue reveals fundamental philosophies/mentalities of each woman and man, and thus helps avoid starting a rel that is doomed to fail, sooner or later, as the who pays issues become much more important than a round or two or three of drinks!
Thus the drinks issue is a litmus test for more fundamental and crucial compatibility-in-a -relastionship issues.
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:56:56 AM | ^^^
yes niick if i was looking for a serious relationship that would tell me right there that the person is not for me if they are so interested in who is going to pay for what.....I have no problem paying for anything i guess its the way you come across to someone..but to ask "do you want another drink" then say to her are you buying this round is just no class to me and would be a total turn off..he should not have asked..he should have waited for her to say.."would you like another drink"..please....like i said i guess its just the type of people you want to hang out with....... | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:15:06 PM | | Well, my friends and I were out last night and experienced the Princess Mentality, in reverse! LMAO Had a group of 5 guys with 2 of us...shots were ordered...I paid for that round...2nd round ordered...none of the guys would ante up! My girl ended up not only paying for that round, but divvying up the seven shots between the two of us! LMAO Sheesh...can anyone say tight ass?! I mean, THEY were getting 5 shots covered to our 2! *burp* | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:28:19 PM | Well, my friends and I were out last night and experienced the Princess Mentality, in reverse! LMAO Had a group of 5 guys with 2 of us...shots were ordered...I paid for that round...2nd round ordered...none of the guys would ante up! My girl ended up not only paying for that round, but divvying up the seven shots between the two of us! LMAO Sheesh...can anyone say tight ass?! I mean, THEY were getting 5 shots covered to our 2! *burp*
Hey now girls understand what it feels like. but anyways that was cheap of them. they could have at least left a nice tip. i doubt they thought they were entitled to it. but it could have been sort of something out of revenge. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:05:04 PM | the Princess Mentality, in reverse
Was this some sort of multi-choice date? Or were they just pals of yours? If it was a date they obviously saw you as a free-drink ticket, if they were just pals then they are not very good ones to not return your round! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:13:29 PM | LOL...no...no multi-choice date...though the idea of such, is intriguing! 
Just new pals...in a bar we frequent...tight ass new pals. LOL | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:41:47 PM | Cheap tight ass? yea.
Revenge? Perhaps, guys are getting fed up.
Taking advantage of a really cool bunch of girls? DEFINITELY.
PES? no. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:15:57 PM | | Hey I was out last night too! I was out with female friend and a male one, the male, being the perfect gentleman he is bought me a drink. . . then a guy I didnt know was chatting to me for an hour then bought me a drink too! not a tight ass in sight! just a couple of gents who expected nothing in return from the "princessa" lol | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:20:43 PM | Way cool! :)
Ours started as a POF party for the birthday of a POFer...and the people there were actually great! Even the guest of honor bought shots...we all did!
When we moved to another spot...we had drinks bought as well...but this bunch was an exception. See...when I buy a round, I don't ask if I can...I just DO IT. :)
Ski...yes...not an official PES...just clods...lol...but it made me think of this thread, of course! ;) | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:57:43 PM | Hey I was out last night too! I was out with female friend and a male one, the male, being the perfect gentleman he is bought me a drink. . . then a guy I didnt know was chatting to me for an hour then bought me a drink too! not a tight ass in sight! just a couple of gents who expected nothing in return from the "princessa" lol
agree with bronco. fools.
and maybe they expected nothing in return. but other guys might.
most people i know would turn down free drinks (guys and girls-yes some girls make the first contact with a drink)
A woman who buys a man in drink has a certain allure. A woman like that is usually outgoing, bold, fun, relaxed, has very little baggage, attractive, wants to try new things , emotionally mature and a lot less likely to play games. when she offers something its geniuine not a game or in hopes of getting something bigger.
See...when I buy a round, I don't ask if I can...I just DO IT. :)
i knew some women actually buy drinks. for men or for women?
"not a tight ass in sight! "
So you bought a round too....
OUCH! burned by your own gender! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:05:13 PM | | i am a poor college student so i wouldnt haha. but if i had the money i wouldnt mind buying drinks ( 3 people max. haha) | |
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