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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:40:59 AM |
Most 'normal' men don't give buying a woman a drink or two a second thought
If im on a date and the bill comes, I dont even think twice, I get out my wallet put my credit card down and dont even worry about it....sometimes she says "let me get half"...sometimes she doesnt, no biggie, could care less either way....
its YOUR attitude of.."i show up looking pretty...you owe me"...that irkes me
he is buying the champagne - I am providing the picnic.
thats it?...jsut a picnic?...you get champagne...and he gets a sandwhich?...
doesnt this go against your rule of "i wait till he orders so I can go off that"
and you talk about impressing someone?......
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:50:16 AM |  I can't even imagine some of the men I've dated giving this issue a second thought
Men always notice what a woman does when a bill comes for drinks or dinner. Most guys won't say anything - especially on a first date, but we always notice. I expect to pay for the first date, but I think it is considerate for the girl to offer to pay something - If she does then I think she is really a considerate person and is thinking about me and that makes me want to do more things for her too. If she doesn't have much money then I'll expect to pay for more things. If we want to be together then we need to help each other out. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:54:28 AM | picnic
Actually it's smoked salmon terrine, Pacific prawns, quails eggs with celery salt, Devonshire cheese quiche, marinated chicken pieces with salad garni and tomatoes with basil.
Followed by homemade cheesecake and chocolate mint.
Happy now?!
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:56:37 AM | Why shouldn't a woman buy a round of drinks? But that isn't the issue - the poster suggested another round than challenged her to pay and that isn't a gracious way to handle it. The person who buys the meal/drinks should be the one to offer. It was rude to argue about it. If you didn't want to buy the next round you should have ended the date. Don't do what you don't want to do, but don't be an a*s about it.
I have paid my way as well as picking up the check for my date. But let's be real, women make $.76 for every dollar a man makes. There is no reason people can't work out who pays as they go along based on the finances of the two people involved. It seems to me in the beginning everyone should be gracious .
As a feminist I don't assume a free ride and I offer what I can - either a home-cooked meal, or picking up drinks or an inexpensive meal, buy the movie tickets, pack the picnic, etc. But I am also willing to accept a man's hospitality on a date without making a big issue of it. I reach for my wallet and if he says he would like to get it I thank him.
What I am finding more and more is that men don't even offer to buy my coffee when we meet. At first I thought that was only fair as it is a first meeting. But it is starting to bother me and I think if a guy doesn't even bother to offer (whether I take him up on it or not) then I won't go on a second date. I expect a date to be courteous and it will be clear very soon that I will return the gesture in a way that fits my budget. It doesn't have to be "tit for tat" which is petty (let me add, I am very generous and will cook an elaborate meal for a guy I like). But I expect the basic social graces which, even in this day and age, means the person who extends the invitation is prepared to pay. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:58:21 AM | There are men who still carry pride in their hearts.
& then there are those who don't have to rely on their wallet for either pride or 'attraction'.
One has to wonder if those who believe that their 'attraction' carries a dollar value will be happy down the road as their attractiveness lessens.......from the continued cries of "What happened to romance..... when they used to wine & dine me?", I have to surmise the generral answer is No.
Just to be clear, I've been dating a wonerful woman for 2 years now & have had no problem paying for virtually everything, including vactions (she's been in a bit of a bind, financially). That situation will change in a few months due to an inheritence....& she's said quite a few times that she looks forward to being the one to treat. That lack of entitlement is very refreshing......as were her offers to stand a round or two, even tho she was flat broke.
Quality does not rely on quantity.
There is no reason people can't work out who pays as they go along based on the finances of the two people involved. It seems to me in the beginning everyone should be gracious .
Exactly. Now there's a sensible Lady w/ style. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:00:33 AM |
thats it?...jsut a picnic?...you get champagne...and he gets a sandwhich?...
nah... depends on what's IN the basket, and what type of champagne. I've had lots of picnics where the food was more $$ than the beverages. (I vastly prefer wine to champagne).
But see, this is where the "equal" stuff can get out of whack; who the frig cares the dollar amounts on this stuff? It can be taken too far, yanno. is sharing the experience and both bringing elements together that matter. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:04:58 AM |
What I am finding more and more is that men don't even offer to buy my coffee when we meet. At first I thought that was only fair as it is a first meeting. But it is starting to bother me and I think if a guy doesn't even bother to offer (whether I take him up on it or not) then I won't go on a second date.
This is the danger of taking the man's job away - he doesn't bother any more! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:07:54 AM | Wow, what I learn on this site.. a new word "Chump" thanks girls... So, I went to a ballgame last night.. I sat with a friend and her husband.. the husband went to the concession stand and bought something for himself, and bought me a freezie,( which I didn't ask or hint for) and didn't hand my friend (his wife) anything..  I'm like "WTF" my friend who laughs as easy as I do.. thought it was pretty funny too... He had hers in his back pocket... Now do I owe this man anything in return... ??? I don't think so, friends hanging out, not asking any of each other, not expecting any thing of each other.... Share the Light... its pretty simple... Even if you meet some one on a date.. isn't it alot to do with respect? JMO | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:28:33 AM | Dambit, Preta! You had to go and brag on that menu and now Imma hungry!
I'm heading to the grocers to buy 4th of July fair, like hotdogs, hamburgers, ribs...and instead I have salmon, shrimp, and quiche on the brain! 
So...there have been three basic types of women posting...those who never expect & always offer sincerely...those who appreciate and expect but feel they offer other things in return...and those who say no way! he don't pay, he is history!
What do you mid-line gals think of the extremist gals who say if they don't ante up, there would be no 2nd date?
Curious Kat! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:32:40 AM | born to ski ..
the two guys that bought me drinks on Saturday night were both gentleman BEFORE they bought me drinks. One guy i knew already, and the other guy i didnt know but was chatting to him for an hour before he offered me a drink. I knew they were gentleman before the drinks were offered, they oozed it! they werent the type of guys counting their pennies out rooting round for a couple of quid for a pint of lager for themselves. Its not about the money or the drinks. Its about the Attitude. If i had gone up to these guys and said " come on love you gonna buy me a drink then?" I would of got shown the door, but just by being myself, they offered me drinks out of kindness towards me. And dare I say the word... respect? Again i will re iterate, I would NEVER ask for a drink or even expect one... So... why do they buy them for me??? | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:33:23 AM |
Actually it's smoked salmon terrine, Pacific prawns, quails eggs with celery salt, Devonshire cheese quiche, marinated chicken pieces with salad garni and tomatoes with basil.
Followed by homemade cheesecake and chocolate mint.
Actually, the sandwich sounded better...........
 sorry, could not resist....... | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:36:28 AM |
born to ski ..
the two guys that bought me drinks on Saturday night were both gentleman BEFORE they bought me drinks. One guy i knew already, and the other guy i didnt know but was chatting to him for an hour before he offered me a drink. I knew they were gentleman before the drinks were offered, they oozed it! they werent the type of guys counting their pennies out rooting round for a couple of quid for a pint of lager for themselves. Its not about the money or the drinks. Its about the Attitude. If i had gone up to these guys and said " come on love you gonna buy me a drink then?" I would of got shown the door, but just by being myself, they offered me drinks out of kindness towards me. And dare I say the word... respect? Again i will re iterate, I would NEVER ask for a drink or even expect one... So... why do they buy them for me???
Because they're trying to get in your pants......albeit in a gentlemanly kind of way of course!! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:39:12 AM |
What I am finding more and more is that men don't even offer to buy my coffee when we meet
And why cant YOU offer to buy him one one when you meet??? This isnt 1950 anymore. It isnt the 'mans job' to offer to pay for anything. Its a first meet. He doesnt know you.
Sheesh,,some of you women are just unbelievable!! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:54:44 AM |
On a recent date I was, how can I put it, somewhat shocked to find out that my date did not think that a woman should buy a man a drink. We'd actually been getting on quite well & I'd already bought us two rounds of drinks. When we finished those I asked if she wanted another one to which she said yes, & to which I said "ok so um so who's round is it"? " YOURS" came the reply straight away! We then had a rather heated argument about whether women should buy drinks or not. Her argument being that she was old fashioned & that's the way she had been brought up. My argument being that in this day & age it's just plain bad manners & rude to think you can sit there all night & have drinks bought for you without even offering to buy one back. I should perhaps ad that she had a pretty well paid job so was not short of money. Just wondered if anyone else has an opinion on this subject?
Your best bet, probably would not be in a bar that early on with a woman in the first place. However, the woman could have taken your comments as "arrogant", after you asked if she wanted another drink THEN asked who's turn to buy a round of drinks. Most people (man or woman) wouldn't be offended, however everyone has their own perceptions on the subject of paying.
If you wanted another drink buy it yourself. I'm sure she had cash on her & if she wanted another drink, eventually she'd have paid for her own sooner or later (in all likelihood). And if she tried leeching off of you for yet another one, you'd probably be better served cutting her loose. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:14:21 AM |
But let's be real, women make $.76 for every dollar a man makes. There is no reason people can't work out who pays as they go along based on the finances of the two people involved. It seems to me in the beginning everyone should be gracious .
Men also statistically work more hours then women and they overwhelmingly take the hard, dangerous and dirty jobs. if you want to quote statistics like that, which probably don't even apply to people working in the same field, but rather that is a number to the over all population, which doesn't even factor in part timer mothers, etc.. Its a bogus stat. Wise up.
As a feminist I don't assume a free ride
Oh really?
What I am finding more and more is that men don't even offer to buy my coffee when we meet. At first I thought that was only fair as it is a first meeting. But it is starting to bother me and I think if a guy doesn't even bother to offer (whether I take him up on it or not) then I won't go on a second date. I expect a date to be courteous and it will be clear very soon that I will return the gesture in a way that fits my budget. It doesn't have to be "tit for tat" which is petty (let me add, I am very generous and will cook an elaborate meal for a guy I like). But I expect the basic social graces which, even in this day and age, means the person who extends the invitation is prepared to pay.
You consider yourself a feminist? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Yea, I definitely do not pay for that first coffee unless I was late or something...which is what I would do for any friend I was meeting for coffee.
Yes, men are evolving. Embrace it. This is all part of the feminist movement and the results thereof. It won't be turned back in our lifetime so you might as well embrace it.
don't you think men are also checking you out to see how courteous YOU are? Pay for your own coffee or better yet, offer to pay. If you display any semblence of PES, then there are an increasingly number of guys that will simply blow you off. grow up. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:16:34 AM | | On a first date I'd pay, but I'd hope my date would offer to pay her way at least. I imagine most guys don't have a problem paying, they just don't like that they're expected to, which is perfectly reasonable in 2008. As for it being a 'traditional' thing, well, I'd have to say you really can't pick and choose only the convenient traditions to stick to :) | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:25:35 AM |
What do you mid-line gals think of the extremist gals who say if they don't ante up, there would be no 2nd date?
They deserve precisely what they get.
I love in just how many ways that can be taken!
Seriously though, I think those are people I want nothing to do with. I have no interest in people who expect any sort of monetary support, especially when it comes to fun outings. It's one thing if these people humbly inform their partner that they're financially tight, and that when things get better they'll reciprocate. It's a completely separate issue when these people simply refuse to pay their own way out of some false sense of tradition or some equally unfair expectation of antiquated "chivalry." How can these women call themselves independent when they're offended because they AREN'T allowed to freeride on somebody else?
Sorry, I just don't get it. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:39:28 AM | Re post 967:
"....Yes, men are evolving. Embrace it. This is all part of the feminist movement and the results thereof. It won't be turned back in our lifetime so you might as well embrace it."
Very well said. Of course we men are evolving, adapting, compared to men of other generations, to the world of equality of the genders. We even agree with this equalitym ideologically.
"don't you think men are also checking you out to see how courteous YOU are?...."
Right again! Of course we do! Unless some women think that only one gender has the "right" to check the other out, that it is only women who get to "decide" in fatig matter!! The going Dutch thing in the drinks during the first meet or date is a major/key "test" for a woman's mindset and worldview. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:59:54 AM | | perhaps, that remains to be seen in future generations. But this is still the natural progression of the feminist movement and there is really no turning it back now. We have to move forward from here to whatever will be, hopefully something that both men and women can live with. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:03:23 PM |
borntoski
No. I refuse. What you suggest sounds not only extremely boring and unromantic, but shyte as well. What is more you profess to prefer to spending your time skiing!!!!
I would prefer to stay at home and stroke the cat. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:06:21 PM |
perhaps, that remains to be seen in future generations. But this is still the natural progression of the feminist movement and there is really no turning it back now. We have to move forward from here to whatever will be, hopefully something that both men and women can live with.
It all boils down to how 1 of my close friends describes women in the 21st century:
"Scornful women become scornful mothers which breed scornful daughters, and the cycle is never ending".
Scrornful referring to "men-hating" women | |
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