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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:08:30 PM | I am sooooo bored with this thread! I wish I could just delete it from my forums list! 
I do not get ANY "women hating" vibes from here...and I am not just saying such because I agree with the majority of named posters on the "who pays debate." LOL
Seriously...Skaj and Borntoski are always posting pro-women items...with humor laced in for emphasis. ;) JohnDuke...well, when John gets a-going...he really gets a-going! ;) I don't think he is anti-women at all, though he has admitted to holding some grudges based on past. :)
But...Imma outta here, cause I think it has been done to death and I am just plain *yawn* bored with it! :)
Happy Posting, Y'all! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:18:39 PM |
Whats wrong with treating a woman like a princess if she deserves to be?
Who has heard the sayings" I treat him like a king" "he treats me like a queen"
What the hell is wrong with being treated like a queen, king or princess ? its what we all deserve in a relationship whether male or female?
I am a princess, My man will be treated like a King by me! Life can be that simple!
Nothing at all is wrong with a synergistic relationship like that when it does exist. The problem is that most men today do not in any way feel they are being treated like a king. Most of us are ok with that by now, we have come to the new conclusion that being treated as an equal is fair and enough.
If you are treating your men like kings then by all means expect to be treated like a princess. So far though, Sienna, several people have asked you what exactly you do to treat your man(men) like kings...and you haven't really told us anything concrete. You have a list of concrete examples for exactly how a man should treat you like a princess, but the "treat him like a king" comment, you have not told us precisely how you would do that....as such...it means nothing. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:59:50 PM |
but the "treat him like a king" comment, you have not told us precisely how you would do that....as such...it means nothing Exactly Right plus they don't even offer to pay for the DRINKS | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:17:34 PM |
Whats wrong with treating a woman like a princess if she deserves to be? The KEY to that question... IF... IF she deserves to be... well, first she has to prove it!
Who has heard the sayings" I treat him like a king" "he treats me like a queen" LOL.... probably lots of people, but none the less.. One has to prove she deserves that kind of treatment before its just handed to her. Or does it stand to say that all men have to make that leap from the start...??
What the hell is wrong with being treated like a queen, king or princess ? its what we all deserve in a relationship whether male or female? Sure, but with the apparent attitude of many here. Men are supposed to pony up, every time they take someone out on a date. Not to mention, having to find that person you're interested in enough to treat like a queen. Its a weeding out process.... Prove you deserve it, then we can talk about it. But dont expect it right up front from every guy... thats the "entitlement" attitude people seem to be talking about.
I am a princess, My man will be treated like a King by me! Life can be that simple! Self Proclaimed Princess.... Prove It! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:20:41 PM |
Whats wrong with treating a woman like a princess if she deserves to be?
and what woud make a woman who you dont know, be treated like a princess on a first date?..why dont she treat the man like a king?..oh wait, you're gonna say its the man that does the "courting" right? | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:38:47 PM | You have to treat each other well from the start! Thats how a relationship starts! you dont hang back a bit surely and wait to see if that person is worth it???
First date.. ok,,, He buys drinks (if he only wants one round thats fine,, if no more are offered, then the date is ended. It still may lead on to a further date however.)
In return for free drink or 2, I am polite, laugh at his jokes, act in a ladylike fashion, am sexy, funny, a good listener. End of date - I go to my car, he goes to his. We say goodbye, we may or maynot meet again. It depends whether he likes me, i like him, chemistry, blah blah.
In a relationship. The way I would treat my man like a King, if your THAT bloody interested. Well here goes, Nothin different to any other woman really, But you did ask. I would be 100 percent faithful, I would cook meals for him, wash up, iron, wash his clothes, be responsible for the whole of the household chores, give him massages when he comes home from work after a hard day, let him watch whatever he likes on TV, even porno channels, hell we can do that together. Encourage him in his dreams and goals, but not be wanting to change him, give him the freedom to make his own life choices, love him for all his faults, not despite them, oh, and plenty of sex too.
Now pull me to pieces, im sure your dying to do that. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:53:15 PM |
Why don't you have a photo on display on your profile - are YOU ashamed of something? Or are you too embarrassed to put a face to those awful comments you like to make? Do you lack courage to come out and face us?
Because I am just here for the forums. I only date women who I have known for a few months before asking them out.
Relationship experts are horrified at Foster's calculations, urging the Cashtrati to see the crunch as a boon. "The natural exchange between men and women - gifts, dinners and money for sex - is part of the biological process," explains Peta Heskell
Just who the fvck are these 'realtionship experts' and who the fvck made them experts?! Peta seems to have deconstructed it nicely though - ...gifts, dinners and money for sex..., I guess that's what it boils down to.
What happens in the 40's? Most men could really care less about sex. Women on the other hand. Biollogy lol. Biology dictates that men are cheaters by nature. We aren't animals ruled by instinct. We're people with a conscience, morals and the ability to love.
" I treat him like a king"
I have never heard of any man brag about being treated like a king.
In a relationship. The way I would treat my man like a King, if your THAT bloody interested. Well here goes, Nothin different to any other woman really, But you did ask. I would be 100 percent faithful, I would cook meals for him, wash up, iron, wash his clothes, be responsible for the whole of the household chores, give him massages when he comes home from work after a hard day, let him watch whatever he likes on TV, even porno channels, hell we can do that together. Encourage him in his dreams and goals, but not be wanting to change him, give him the freedom to make his own life choices, love him for all his faults, not despite them, oh, and plenty of sex too.
Can I dissect this one by one?
100% faithful- so would he so that doesn't count
cook meals for him, wash up, iron, wash his clothes, be responsible for the whole of the household chores, - does he not do any of those things, does he not fix things, does he not shovel the snow, change the oil, mow the lawn. He has his chores too. doesn't count.
give him massages when he comes home from work after a hard day,- and he doesn't do the same for you. I assume you're not going to be working from this stateemnt or he will be working more so he should get it anyways. doesn't count.
let him watch whatever he likes on TV, - u mean freedom ? which he could have without you?
Encourage him in his dreams and goals, but not be wanting to change him, give him the freedom to make his own life choices, love him for all his faults, not despite them, oh, and plenty of sex too.
ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MUTUAL.
SO what do you do that he doesn't do? NOTHING.
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:15:30 PM | On treating others like the princess or king that they "deserve to be" as it relates to the OPost (ie who buys the drinks and should she buy at least one):
Yes there is a problem with that: Democracy 
Buying someone else a drink is neither Capitalist or "Republican Democratic". Because capitalism does not cover dating and according to the republic democratic prnciple that all humans are equal (Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite) if both the man and the woman deserve to be king/prince - queen/princess, even metaphorically, then the man should buy the woman's drinks and the woman the man's. So unless she prefers expensive drinks and he cheap ones. it winds up the same as Dutch. Thus we are back to the "Netherlands" (Dutch) way, under this "treatment" rationale. It does not justify his paying for most of her drinks or even any. Or her paying for any of his.
I am not Luis XVI or Rois Soleil (King Sun) and thus I do not date Marie Antoinettes or "blue bloods"!
If one wants to "buy" affection or a date, there are straightforward legal ways to do THAT, in the Netherlands and most countries. To help the financially needy, one pays one's taxes and one gives money to charity. Not for drinks.
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:29:43 PM |
The way I would treat my man like a King, if your THAT bloody interested. Well here goes, Nothin different to any other woman really, But you did ask. I would be 100 percent faithful, I would cook meals for him, wash up, iron, wash his clothes, be responsible for the whole of the household chores, give him massages when he comes home from work after a hard day, let him watch whatever he likes on TV, even porno channels, hell we can do that together. Encourage him in his dreams and goals, but not be wanting to change him, give him the freedom to make his own life choices, love him for all his faults, not despite them, oh, and plenty of sex too. Now that's HOW you treat a KING and you Deserve to be treated like a QUEEN
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:42:50 PM |
You have to treat each other well from the start! Thats how a relationship starts! you dont hang back a bit surely and wait to see if that person is worth it???
Sure, as long as its even.
First date.. ok,,, He buys drinks (if he only wants one round thats fine,, if no more are offered, then the date is ended. It still may lead on to a further date however.)
oh great. He bought drinks and you did what? You ended the date earlier and went home and MAYBE there will be another date. yea, that's fair. (not).
In return for free drink or 2, I am polite, laugh at his jokes, act in a ladylike fashion, am sexy, funny, a good listener. End of date - I go to my car, he goes to his. We say goodbye, we may or maynot meet again. It depends whether he likes me, i like him, chemistry, blah blah.
All of those things he is expected to do for you also. Unless you honestly expect us to believe that a man can go out with you, pay for drinks and act like a brute. I don't think so. A guy has to pour on the charm, make funny jokes, make the night interesting for you, laugh at your jokes, show interest, listen to you too...etc... You are both hopefully doing this. So.....where in that equation does it make sense for the man to pay for the evening with his cash?
In a relationship. The way I would treat my man like a King, if your THAT bloody interested. Well here goes, Nothin different to any other woman really, But you did ask. I would be 100 percent faithful, I would cook meals for him, wash up, iron, wash his clothes, be responsible for the whole of the household chores, give him massages when he comes home from work after a hard day, let him watch whatever he likes on TV, even porno channels, hell we can do that together. Encourage him in his dreams and goals, but not be wanting to change him, give him the freedom to make his own life choices, love him for all his faults, not despite them, oh, and plenty of sex too.
Now pull me to pieces, im sure your dying to do that.
Well Sienna you sound like a pretty darn good GF to have if you live up to that..and yea...I would say that qualifies as treating your man like a king. Sounds great. But... you can't expect every guy you go out with to treat you like a princess on early dates when you are not yet in the treat-him-like-a-king phase...can you? You said that for the first date, he pays and in response you are charming and go home alone. He's hopefully being charming too, so really you've already established a one sided relationship where he is giving more than you and expected to do so. If on the other hand, you start out evenly, then over time you fall in love and he can treat you more and more like a princess and you can treat him more and more like a king. That works. But expecting princess treatment on an early date isn't right.
You are still confusing the difference between a "date" and a serious relationship. You think all guys you go out with should treat you like a princess from day one IN HOPES that they will end up with you and then finally you will hypothetically treat him like a king? That's a pretty speculative arrangement from the guy's perspective don't ya think? Its definitely lop sided in your favor.
All that being said, I still have to give you kudos for wanting to treat a signficant guy as king of the castle because sadly an awful lot of women today don't even wanna do that EVER. Which is why guys are increasingly unwilling to take the leap of faith to roll out the royal red carpet up front for someone they don't even know. I guess that is the part you don't understand. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:53:21 PM | "I would be 100 percent faithful,"
In return for the free drinks?
"I would cook meals for him, wash up, iron, wash his clothes,"
Modern men do that themselves or pay trained professionals to do that. (cook/food, cleanig, laundry ironing, etc)
"be responsible for the whole of the household chores"
Again, modern men do that on their own or pay a trained professional.
"give him massages when he comes home from work after a hard day"
Again, there are answering machines, e-mails, IMs, SMSs and trained professional PAs for that.
"let him watch whatever he likes on TV"
Most households have more than 1 TV those days.
"even porno channels"
They cost money, and the show is made by professionals, again.
"hell we can do that together"
That is called "collegues" or business partners.
But do business partners buy each other drinks or go Dutch (50-50)? They go Dutch and "Dutch" is the way assets accumulated during a marriage are split up.
"Encourage him in his dreams and goals,"
Again, there are friends as well as personal life coaches etc for that.
"but not be wanting to change him, give him the freedom to make his own life choices, love him for all his faults, not despite them, oh, and plenty of sex too."
Most of the above are services legally bought and sold in market (cleaning, cooking, coaching, etc).
Even sex, in many countries.
So there is the "buy" option, but then one buys those services from trained and qualified professionals (cooks, cleaners, coaches, even prostitutes (for sex), etc).
What do they have to do with "amateur" (aka real) dating and love etc? And the who buys the drinks issue?
The hire a pro option is CLEARLY distinct and has nothing to do or "borrow" from the real dating, real love, real eros option.
But in both options, buying drinks makes no sense!
If a woman bought me a drink, I would feel like a gigolo. And a cheap one, at that.
I may pay for a cook, to have my clothers cleaned, to have my flat vaccuumed. But I would not give or receive anything in return for Eros, Love or Sex except the same. Not even drinks. Paying for her drinks or having my drinks paid by her makes no sense and moneterises the relationship or date. And I do not mix business with sex, love or pleasure. It can be done, legally, but then it is not called dating or marriage or a rel. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:59:06 PM | sorry for rejecting you....didnt realise you would react the way you did.
why did you call me then if what you said in email is the case....
kind a bit odd dont you think?....
thanks for the mail though...you obviously have a lot of issues in life at the moment and well, i want to know someone that doesnt have problems...interesting how when i first knew you...you had a go at me to do with my situation here and negative stuff..
well i sorted out my probs and still wanted to know you...but it seems you flew off the handle at me cos i rejected knowing you anymore and you cant handle that can you...
i rang back and left a message...oh and please dont message me when you are drunk and in one of your silly moods. delete my number please.
thanks....good luck... | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:31:32 AM | /\/\/\/\/\/\
wtf was that all about? Do tell please? I love other people's dramas played out on the forums ...
JD - I am afraid that your explanation for no photo is not good enough. Just because we post a photo it doesn't mean that we are 'for sale'. It shows that we have the courage to back up what we are saying by showing ourselves and not hiding behind an anonymous profile. Just a pic of you 'fishing' or something would do. But I suspect that your gf would not be too chuffed to see what you have written about the interactions between male and female when dating!! If I was her you would get the heave-ho! What a charmer you are ... not.
Talking of sales etc, and the 'free drinks' issue. Sienna has written some good points, but I would like to add that there are occasions (one or two) when I would buy my own drink and this is another 'rule' I have for myself: If the guy I am meeting for the first time is SO boring and conversation consists of a one-sided monologue of him, his dislikes ... the world today etc, woe is me (I am imagining a date with JD). I switch to plan B - I buy my own drink! This is an indication I am no longer interested in him as a lover, a protector, a partner. He is just another bloke and from then on it's stop watch time until the last dregs of my glass. Adieu.
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:21:51 AM | | buddy, you've lost the plot. the woman was just trying you on to see if you were a cheapass, and by your petulant inquiry about who's round it was, you revealed yourself as a hairnet. If you want rounds bought, go out with your male friends. If you want to get laid, buy the feckin drinks. Especially if you want her to think that you are a studly guy who has control of everything and thus makes her feel like a woman, rather than a girl in a gay bar buying rounds of drinks for her hairdresser and their friends. chivralry, sadly, has taken a beating and women, i will admit, are partially responsible for this but you, as a man, can reeducate them by asserting your masculinity and making her think (you can rape her financially afterwards, when she loves you ha ha ha) that she is your darling little angel. - cheers - sue | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:34:22 AM |
You have to treat each other well from the start! Thats how a relationship starts! you dont hang back a bit surely and wait to see if that person is worth it??? Treating each other well from the start... the start of what?? I would hardly call a first date a start to anything. Let alone a relationship. Treating each other well FROM THE START... would indicate that BOTH parties are going to pony up for the date... NOT JUST THE MAN!
First date.. ok,,, He buys drinks (if he only wants one round thats fine,, if no more are offered, then the date is ended. It still may lead on to a further date however.) In return for free drink or 2, I am polite, laugh at his jokes, act in a ladylike fashion, am sexy, funny, a good listener. End of date - I go to my car, he goes to his. Oh you have got to be kidding... Call Girls and Hookers have the exact same M.O. Its a business transaction. And like you state, "if no more are offered, then the date is over" HE IS PAYING YOU FOR YOUR TIME. You are after all, a good listener, sexy, funny... a good Call Girl is the same exact thing... She is attentive, sexy, funny, a good listener...
We say goodbye, we may or maynot meet again. It depends whether he likes me, i like him, chemistry, blah blah. Or if one sets up another date/business transaction. To me, it seems that no matter how eloquently you want to put it, if he is buying drinks, dinner, or what have you... he is paying for your time. And you accept. Granted, its not as in depth as a full service call girl, but the man is paying for you...
In a relationship. The way I would treat my man like a King, if your THAT bloody interested. Well here goes, Nothin different to any other woman really, But you did ask. I would be 100 percent faithful, I would cook meals for him, wash up, iron, wash his clothes, be responsible for the whole of the household chores, give him massages when he comes home from work after a hard day, let him watch whatever he likes on TV, even porno channels, hell we can do that together. Encourage him in his dreams and goals, but not be wanting to change him, give him the freedom to make his own life choices, love him for all his faults, not despite them, oh, and plenty of sex too.
Now pull me to pieces, im sure your dying to do that.
That last paragraph is all great... sounds like a dream girl... But we have to get past the first date! Very much like women, who say they can size a man up in 30 seconds or less... Men are starting to do the same thing. I suppose that first date tells a significant amount about the person you are with. If she is willing to either split the cost, help out, offer to buy a round or two... or what have you... from my perspective, it says that she is willing to be a participant in a relationship. Someone who is as willing to give as they are receive, and all too often today, there are so many women who have that "Im a Princess" mentality, they want to be on the receiving end... and not so much on the giving ...
buddy, you've lost the plot. the woman was just trying you on to see if you were a cheapass, and by your petulant inquiry about who's round it was, you revealed yourself as a hairnet. And by that same token, she revealed her true intentions... she's trying to find a score, that he was not willing to be. So, does that make her a bathmat??
If you want rounds bought, go out with your male friends. If you want to get laid, buy the feckin drinks. Oh... so now we have a woman that states its a basic "Oldest Profession" deal... Buy the drinks, get laid... but I thought that women were above that sort of thing. I suppose you'll have a line outside your door, of men just waiting to buy you drinks... or just buy you.
Especially if you want her to think that you are a studly guy who has control of everything and thus makes her feel like a woman, rather than a girl in a gay bar buying rounds of drinks for her hairdresser and their friends. Okay, so how exactly does it work, where by we buy drinks to make her feel like a woman... Hmmm ... interesting analogy. I think that if you boil it down to the most simplistic terms... its still the oldest profession.
Chivralry, sadly, has taken a beating and women, i will admit, are partially responsible for this but you, as a man, can reeducate them by asserting your masculinity and making her think (you can rape her financially afterwards, when she loves you ha ha ha) that she is your darling little angel. - cheers - sue Oh.. so, now we Men have to take responsibility for repairing something that women Fvcked up in the first place. Got it... Feminism at its best... They screw it up, we have to fix it.
As for "raper her financially afterwards, when she loves you" WTF is with that attitude?
You are a piece of work... | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:12:55 AM |
JD - I am afraid that your explanation for no photo is not good enough. Just because we post a photo it doesn't mean that we are 'for sale'. It shows that we have the courage to back up what we are saying by showing ourselves and not hiding behind an anonymous profile. Just a pic of you 'fishing' or something would do. But I suspect that your gf would not be too chuffed to see what you have written about the interactions between male and female when dating!! If I was her you would get the heave-ho! What a charmer you are ... not.
No some girls I've dated would be disgusted that I think she should contribute too. Some of them would laugh at this thread and thought it was assumed it would be 50/50. A few of them would have even paid the whole bill and some of them did pay more often than me. Princesses don't dump me. I dump them. And I don't have to prove anything to you.
<div class="quote"> This is an indication I am no longer interested in him as a lover, a protector, a partner. He is just another bloke and from then on it's stop watch time until the last dregs of my glass. Adieu
Well its his gain. protector? from the big bad bill? partner? can't be a partner if you don't pay. that makes you a child. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:24:57 AM | It beats me why the header question is even asked at all:
"Should a woman buy a round of drinks?"
A reasonable response could be - Why not?
Courteous social behavior towards other human beings doesn't need to be gender-specific.
The assumption that women are helpless little dependents who need a big strong man to take care of them in all social situations is sooooo last millennium.
Today what works best is to regard each social situation as different, and let people decide for themselves what works for them in each case. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:45:16 AM | | When on a first date, and a man doesn't reach for the check first , the impression I get is that he is plain "cheap". I always offer to split the bill, though...or some men this is unheard of, for others this is the norm. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:48:28 AM |
JD - I am afraid that your explanation for no photo is not good enough. Just because we post a photo it doesn't mean that we are 'for sale'. It shows that we have the courage to back up what we are saying by showing ourselves and not hiding behind an anonymous profile. Just a pic of you 'fishing' or something would do. But I suspect that your gf would not be too chuffed to see what you have written about the interactions between male and female when dating!! If I was her you would get the heave-ho! What a charmer you are ... not.
The man has his reasons... Who the Flip are you to question it???
He also has his views, which stem from his experience... at least he sticks to his own points, and doesnt apply the 'scatter gun' approach to everything...
When on a first date, and a man doesn't reach for the check first , the impression I get is that he is plain "cheap". I always offer to split the bill, though...or some men this is unheard of, for others this is the norm.
So, if a man doesnt reach for the bill first, somehow that gives you the right to pass judgement as "cheap".... WTF???
So, like so many others who think its the mans responsibility to pick up the check, does that give us the right to get the impression... "Whore"???? | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:56:16 AM | "Should a woman buy a round of drinks?"
A reasonable response could be - Why not?
Courteous social behavior towards other human beings doesn't need to be gender-specific.
Yeah, fra59e, I am still scratching my head trying to figure out what having a vagina has to do with buying drinks. Money isn't gender specific...and neither is being employed or liking/wanting to purchase a beverage. I've never met a bartender that had a problem with taking my money.
Maybe being born in the late 60's, I can't really get what that's all about. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:07:06 AM |
Maybe being born in the late 60's, I can't really get what that's all about.
From reading this thread, I don't actually believe age has much to do with this. I was born in the late '50s, and I've been happily going dutch or taking turns all my life. The pros and cons (both female and male) seem to run the generational gamut on this issue. It seems to be much more a matter of upbringing and personal history, perhaps with a smattering of geography thrown in, than anything else. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:26:59 AM | I drink 3 drinks tops at bars here that is at best 30 bucks.
If a guy doenst think enough of me to buy me 30 dollars worth of drinks I think thats kinda rude.
Men are suppose to treat woman.
Ive always been treated very well by men.
I do ofer to pay after awhile and Im not a free loader in the least I just believe if a man asks u out or buys u a few drinks at a bar it doesnt mean u have to return the favor. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:29:38 AM | | John u got me to thinking I always accuse my on again off again boyfriend of doing nothing because he asks me to do the check book clean cook do laundry but he does mow the lawn shovel the snow work on the cars and make more money than I do..wow I never thought about it like that maybe I will give him sex tonight. | |
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