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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:01:29 PM | | It really shouldn´t matter who pays..I wonder though, why did you expect it from her in the first place? If you buy someone a drink then it´s on your treat, right? Perhaps you should have told her you wanted the same from her before even buying any. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:16:39 PM | This entire thread is why I won't ever do anything other than pay for all my own stuff. If I pay for what I use, I'm not obligated to do anything. If I need something done, I do myself or hire it out. I don't want any favors....and reading threads like this confirms that all good deeds aren't just done because someone cares. They're looking for a result at some point...I don't want anyone to do anything for me expecting anything in return. After all, I don't do for others with that expectation.
Personally with the exception of a couple men in my life, I have never enountered an offer that didn't have strings anyway, so no thanks. Hey I once sent a waitress back to reissue a bill so I could pay my half on a date. The three date rule never applied to me, because there's no investment for him to try and recover...so I take my time getting to know him before I ever sleep with him, if I decide to...and really, what can he do?
However if I always cover myself (and I always do) that means there has to be something about him that's better than eating alone, or calling a friend. A cute face, some intelligence, and a nice butt...for instance. I don't want your money, but there'd better be some eye candy to go with my meal. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:13:21 PM |
It's good to know that there are so many cry baby whiny men out there. Thanks, now I know who to steer clear of.
Well.... if by cry baby whiney men, you mean those of us who can spot a princess who is about as shallow as a saucer cup, looking for a sugar daddy, not unlike yourself... Hell, sign me up!
No money, No honey.... C ya! | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:21:25 PM |
It's good to know that there are so many cry baby whiny men out there. Thanks, now I know who to steer clear of.
Yay for you. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:32:41 PM |
It's good to know that there are so many cry baby whiny men out there. Thanks, now I know who to steer clear of.
Well, yeah, and from where I'm sittin' it's nice to take note of the women who will likely whine about the a-hole that doesn't pay for everything or treat little Miss Priss like the princess she believes she is.....
....
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 3:44:33 PM |
It's good to know that there are so many cry baby whiny men out there. Thanks, now I know who to steer clear of.
Exhibit A. That is what is commonly reffered to as "Shaming language" and its exactly what women have been doing for thouands of years to get men to do things for them. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:01:10 PM | | Yes bornttoski. She was supposed to follow it up with an attack on their manhood. Smart men never fall for shaming language or any tricks. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:29:50 PM | You know guys.....you all complain about women like metalvixen, but you all are real quick to keep the debate going with her.....
Often, and not all men on the forums, I've found that some women will post something logical or even ask intelligent questions to keep the debate going, but the men will ignore her in favour of going after the woman who has outdated or inane beliefs (at least to some). It is highly unlikely that she will change her beliefs, however you keep chugging on with it.
So you keep arguing with the woman who you say you would never date or you praise the ones who agree with everything you say - but ignore others who actually try to keep a debate going with comments and questions.
So....I'm wondering if, in reality, that old love/hate idea applies? And some of these women are quite attractive. Do you feel because they are attractive, it is easier for them to "get away" with stuff like that? Are you egging them on because you think they're not intelligent? | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:39:56 PM |
They lost out on a lot my friend. Many will end up alone and bitter. Many never found loving relationships or understand what it feels like to be a giver.
Unfortunately, it's not just women who will lose out - it's men too. This whole "me me me" 80's after effect has done a number on a lot of us.
Reading some of the posts, it impresses upon me that not only are women alone and bitter, but so are men.
If everyone just took it as usual to pay for themselves, there wouldn't be a problem. If you are in a crowd where everyone is buying rounds, it is expected that you may have a buy a round - depending on how many people are there. The more generous or wanting to impress people usually offer first. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:49:39 PM |
You know guys.....you all complain about women like metalvixen, but you all are real quick to keep the debate going with her.....
M-vixen wasn't even making an intelligent point. She was merely slagging and shaming rather than presenting a pertinent POV.
Are you egging them on because you think they're not intelligent?
I egg on anyone I feel like simply because I'm here to entertain myself. People who make stupid comments are easy grist for the mill....
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:57:27 PM | Yes, I agree with the slagging CB, but you guys sure got on there real quick to say something back to her. And I was only using her as an example - because there are other women on here that I've noticed too.
And funnily enough, they all have high favourite lists......
But what if they are intelligent, but their point of view is viewed as outdated compared to most others? I don't necessarily think that someone who has a different or even strange POV than me is not intelligent.
Some people with strange POV's turned out to be classified as geniuses (sp?).... | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:03:54 PM |
But what if they are intelligent, but their point of view is viewed as outdated compared to most others? I don't necessarily think that someone who has a different or even strange POV than me is not intelligent.
Well, some people just make too much sense and it doesn't give me the opportunity to amuse myself.
I'm not one to jump on the bandwagon either and give the ol' " You go girl! " high five thing either (.. or knuckle clunk whatever you call it).
Having said that, I do give kudos where kudos are deserved, but I'm not gonna kiss anyone's ass either.
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:11:10 PM | Well, some people just make too much sense and it doesn't give me the opportunity to amuse myself.
LOL Thanks for answering CB.
I know that one is not supposed to put much stock into the whole favourites thing, but I'm wondering if anyone noticed if the women who expect a man to pay for everything, whether they are more than attractive? I have noticed a few being on high favs list. I'm not trying to say anything bad about them, but I wonder whether the "visual" combined with the love/hate thing has anything to do with keeping an ongoing debate with them?
Anyhoot, this is off topic so excuse me now! And I'll probably be 10 posts too many now.... | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:35:28 PM | I was going to say that the only reason John Duke wants a woman to buy a round a drinks is because when she is away at the bar getting them, he can filter through her bag and get her credit card details to use on the net later on to download porn and "spank the monkey".
Yeah a woman should pay for something and that would be the bullet that goes in my gun to put you down.
You really know how to attract the ladies you tight fisted fat ****....lol   | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:42:29 PM | i had to get into bed with your missus cos she granted me so....she didnt prostitute herself, she called me and well, your little****aint up to scratch, hence why you sleep on the couch these days and half the fridge is eaten out by the time you get home from work.
she loves it when i come inside her, all over her and well, next time you try to touch her, see how she pushes her shoulder up and brushes you off.
its called wanting my****24/7 and you out of her life for keeps......lol
written and authorised by John Holmes. PStar and milkman when the guys go to work   | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:48:22 PM | Wow. Great debate!
I am of the opinion that if I am asked out for dinner, then he has accepted financial responsibility. If the evening was prolonged however, because we're enjoying ourselves, I will definitely try to contribute. I have found however, that this offer is appreciated yet often refused. Then I will find another way to reciprocate...perhaps a home cooked meal and the beverage I know he prefers. Once you become a couple, share and share alike is a good compromise. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:30:15 PM | I stand by what I said not because I want someone to pay for me, but if guys are gonna cry about something as petty as paying for a first date, I am sure he's gonna whine about much more important things.
I posted this is another very similar forum:
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I don't have a problem paying at all, but it's just plain NICE for a man to actually treat me on a date. It's not impressive and I don't feel I deserve it, it's just NICE.
Maybe I would like him a bit more if he pays without a fuss because it shows he's not a whiny cry baby and hopefully isn't some cheap a$$ who argues over pennies.
And then who knows, maybe I'll pay for the next date. Maybe I'll pick him up a token of my appreciation the next time I'm out shopping. It'll all equal out.
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How are two people supposed to have a good time when they're worrying about who is paying more? I always buy a round of drinks or some shots because I WANT TO . I don't keep track of who ends up with the bigger bill because that's just so lame.
I'm a generous person and I like to stick with my kind. That's all my comment meant, didn't mean to get people all in a tizzy.
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:55:55 PM | "Dutch" or "Old Fasshioned" and the drinks litmus test
There is nothing whiny or cry baby or cheap a$$sed about what is the natural way for 2 people to finance any of their joint activities, from the drinks of a first date til the "end" or the divorce: Dutch.
It is Dutch or nothing and it is simply a matter of ideology and personal philosophy.
Even if she pays but has such a rationale as in post no. 1110 about the whole issue, it is still a red flag for a rel or even a date, IMO, IMO of course.
The drinks is one of those little/cheap things that mean A LOT in potential rels! A view of things to come later, in the rel, the marriage, the good and the bad times, the divorce!
So, to each camp on this issue, his/her own. I am with the camp of feminist women and men. These threads have been useful in showing in which of the camps, the feminist/equality/Dutch or the "old fashioned", many people stand. Maybe people should make their camp clear in their profiles, so no time wasted for any POFer.
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:00:32 PM |
Like I said it should be equal right from the start. And by equal I do mean same. (someone should look up equal in the dictionary).
John: they do not mean the "same"thing...I can give you concrete examples:
math; 6+4=5+5...equal, but not the same?
Two people who weight the same thing...equal weight..but, not the same body shapes and sizes. A pound of two different objects is still a pound...equal, but not the same.
Men and women will NEVER be the same...wouldn't that be boring and absolutely no fun if they were. They can, however, have equal civil rights ( which is my definition of equality)..and still be very different people.
They lost out on a lot my friend. Many will end up alone and bitter. Many never found loving relationships or understand what it feels like to be a giver.
While I'm sure this is true of some people of both genders...there are so many people who give , and even better yet...without any expectations of reciprocal behavior. I think it is an unfair generalization...and you forget, there are plenty of men who not only encourage this behavior..they like it,..so, don't blame just women.
My opinion is still the same...I give when I want to, too..not when it is required or expected..be careful you don't become the very thing you detest...
The simple fact is that during this time of transition from old school to feminism during the past maybe 20 years, a generation of women have grown up with the best of both worlds...being treated like a princess for doing absolutely nothing but gracing us with their presence and they have come to expect it, like a spoiled child.
I don't know..do any of the men who think this..know how to give without a return? How is that any different...people don't "earn" my love or kindness...I give it freely..no matter how this is phrased..it still sounds like: I'll be nice to you, if you are nice to me ( in my terms)...just not the way I operate... | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:18:58 PM | I think it's considered normal these days if the lady pays for some things, but whoever does the initial asking should be gracious enough to pay the bill if he chooses the time and place to meet. What is the big deal? If the poster didn't want to pay for a third round, he shouldn't have asked his date if she wanted one in the first place. Get a grip. 
Pink | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:48:08 PM |
I stand by what I said not because I want someone to pay for me, but if guys are gonna cry about something as petty as paying for a first date, I am sure he's gonna whine about much more important things
well that is just stupid..because obviously if the woman doesnt wnat to pay, doesnt that mean she is also "crying about something petty" as well?..so whats your point really?.if you have a problem paying a few bucks for food and drinks, what else will you have a problem spending a few bucks for?..you really don't have a point here..sorry | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:53:33 PM |
I don't have a problem paying at all, but it's just plain NICE for a man to actually treat me on a date. It's not impressive and I don't feel I deserve it, it's just NICE.
Maybe I would like him a bit more if he pays without a fuss because it shows he's not a whiny cry baby and hopefully isn't some cheap a$$ who argues over pennies.
And then who knows, maybe I'll pay for the next date. Maybe I'll pick him up a token of my appreciation the next time I'm out shopping. It'll all equal out.
and maybe he would be a little more attracted to you as well if you also didnt have a problem paying for your own food or contributing towards the bill..never thought of that eh? and dont you think it's feels NICE for a man to go out on a date with a woman and not have to worry about paying for her food and drinks all the time?..never thought of that either huh?..maybe if you paid your fair share he would treat you the next time too..never though of that either huh? | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:06:36 PM |
And I always do, John Duke, as I had stated in my original message. All I was referring to was WHO reaches for the check when I am INVITED on a FIRST date.
you ladies need to stop talking about the "who invited who" bullsh!t..lets face it..we all know that the VAST majority of the time its the man that does the inviting...if it were up to the women to do the inviting and they had to pay..seriously, how often would they go on dates?.. | |
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| Should a woman buy a round of drinks?
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:19:35 AM | *- *DING DING* Time ladies and gentlemen...this thread has run it's course and the bar is closed...and so is this thread. -TheMadFiddler-* | |
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