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| I really just have to ask you guys -- all this sex stuff!
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:57:35 PM |
Ya know, I never understood the concept of a one-night stand. If you normally go without, and you finally get laid...wouldn't you prefer to keep it as a steady thing instead of going back to the drought and pondering that one night that you had sex?
Not necessarily. lol
IMO...
Often , but ,certainly not always...
I think if a gal sleeps with a guy , she has decided then and there that she is wanting to give a relationship a try .
I think if a guy sleeps with a gal , he is still in the finding out phase.
I think women should know better how much a guy is interested in more than a one night stand.
I think women should know the difference between a deep connection and just a bit of attraction .
Just my opinion. | |
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| I really just have to ask you guys -- all this sex stuff!
Posted: 7/12/2008 4:05:19 PM | Op…
Re:
“woman still cares about him and doesn't cut off all contact the day after”…..”it's not the most important thing in the world or in a relationship”. …
I would tend to disagree with you in regards to women accepting a man even if the sex is bad. For MANY women, sex is a very important part of a relationship (I tend to be one of them). I am a very sexual person when with a partner and form me, amazing sex is part of the intimacy and communication we share. If the sex is bad (or we are not physically compatible) then the rest just cant happen with me. This is not only the case for me but MANY women I know.
As for
“they schmooze you, get you to trust, making you care about them until you have sex and then move on”
This is a reality of life (unfortunately). That is why you get to know someone in-depth BEFORE you get intimate with them. I don’t have any timelines but one can learn a LOT about someone by spending time with them, see how they treat and respect others, maybe have them meet your friends (and meet his), learn about his life and so forth… Take you time and look for ACTIONS and not the words… (((Yes, I too learned that the hard way…. I still have my wild and spontaneous side but I share that ONLY once I have gotten to know the man I am interested in… Also, focus on what you want … not what you don’t want…))))
Something to think about maybe his not calling had nothing to do with you personally… maybe he really was not ready… maybe he did not want to hurt you further (sex is a very intimate thing for many men too and maybe he is too much too fast)... maybe had nothing to do with the sex…. Maybe there was still someone from his past… one never knows… the only way to do better next time is to make sure you get to know him as best as you can before becoming intimate…. | |
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| I really just have to ask you guys -- all this sex stuff!
Posted: 7/12/2008 4:44:09 PM |
the man will have no reason to leave her?
How can he leave her, if they are not together? Yes, I have stayed longer in the scenario you described. And I know women who have such an 'arrangement', as they don't want a relationship. | |
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| I really just have to ask you guys -- all this sex stuff!
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:31:34 PM | It's pretty obvious, isn't it?
Why is it that there are some men who will get their partner to orgasm(however many times they decide to), while others only get their rocks off then go to sleep or leave?
It's all about what a person is looking for. Some people are very selfish, others are very giving.
Part of the process, BEFORE you open the door to your heart, is making sure that person won't just walk in, rob you, and leave. | |
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| I really just have to ask you guys -- all this sex stuff!
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:37:13 PM | People might tell you sex is all men ever think about, but you get a bunch of men together and what do they talk about:
- National politics.
- Office politics.
- TVs, tools and gadgets.
- Family problems.
- Sports and hobbies.
And you can look in the magazines men read, Time, Newsweek, The Economist, Popular Science, Scientific American, how many articles are there on sex ... okay, a few in the Scientific American, but iguana sex.
To your problem. Sex and love are separate for men.
In a long term relationship we want both.
In a short term relationship it doesn't matter.
1. So you are going with the guy, the sex is good, it gets serious, he dumps you.
Well the sex was good, but the love wasn't.
2. Or, you are dating and romancing. You have so much in common. You have sex once or twice and you never see him again.
Well, the love was good, but the sex wasn't.
3. Why will women keep seeing a guy if the sex is no good? I can only guess:
a ) It is an invalid generalization. Or
b ) Other factors make up for the bad sex. (In some cases true love. In other cases the six million dollar mansion. ;) ) | |
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| I really just have to ask you guys -- all this sex stuff!
Posted: 7/12/2008 10:26:13 PM | There are so many forums, comments and questions about guys and sex. How they schmooze you, get you to trust, making you care about them until you have sex and then move on. I guess I have two questions. Most women are not going to rip off their clothes and be naked with somebody they hardly know. Why is this okay with guys to do? That's kind of an intimate thing, ya know? Or isn't it for a guy? Lots of you guys are paranoid about getting naked at the doctor's office!
My other question is that everybody says it's been forever, they go without. Then they meet somebody, email, talk on the phone, start to date, date for awhile, have a good time, have sex, then the guy walks without a word and never calls again. Wouldn't getting it on a regular basis be more comfortable than walking away and not getting it for who knows how long again? Why not call her again? Did you ever care about her in the first place? Okay. Guess that's more than two questions.
For every act of sex where some guy is a dirty sleezebag who dumps a load into a woman, sportf**ks her and tosses her out like trash, there is a woman who made the choice of her own free will to spread her legs and have sex with him.
Why are some men dirtbags?
I don't know, why do some women choose to sleep with those dirtbags in the first place?
Crazy concept, it's called ACCOUNTABILITY.
If you get to pick who you get to sleep with you, you have to be responsible for your half of whatever resolution comes out of that.
Here is the not so dirty little secret of the dating game - a small percentage of men get most of the sex out there. The men you find attractive are men many other women find attractive too. Now getting into a relationship in America is so punitive, modern feminism in our liberal society of entitlement means the men women want to get into relationships with the most have the LEAST incentive to actually commit.
There are lots of men out there who will call you, make you breakfast in the morning and listen to your problems. But you don't want to sleep with most of those men do you?
You know if I have a bad relationship or a bad date with a woman, I PICKED HER. I chose to go on that date. I chose to go into that relationship. If a problem exists, it does so in part because I'M ACCOUNTABLE for that choice.
If a guy treat a woman like a cum sponge, it happens in part because she chose to sop it all up.
Instead of expecting the same kind of men you date to change, why not actually change the selection process in which you date men?
Accountability.
I know, what a twisted complex evil concept to lay on someone.
Now you can go back to blaming others for what was, in part, a consequence of your own free will.
Some women will never see the true power they have. Women have the greatest playing card in the relationship game. The card of choice.
I have several women friends and relatives that come to me with relationship problems. I tell them that if the problem is repeated they need to look into the reasons they made the bad choice so next time they can choose different.
OP, and frankly all women use this and learn how to read the verbal and other cues a player gives off. The verbal and other cues are what others use to spot players quickly. Next time your at a social event: club, bar, etc. watch men and women. Just sit there watch and listen. You will be able to spot the players from the other men real quick. | |
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| I really just have to ask you guys -- all this sex stuff!
Posted: 7/12/2008 10:46:27 PM | Well, my ex IS a doctor...and I worked in his office for long enough to know you folks have no clue regarding your pontifications.
OP: no class and your basic run-of-the-mill nothing-on-the-ball type guy. Sorry that happened to you. Best wishes,Sweetie. | |
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| I really just have to ask you guys -- all this sex stuff!
Posted: 7/12/2008 11:09:45 PM | well, girls do the same thing too!!
A lady friend of mine, once told me a story how she met a guy, who was a friend of one of her guy friends, she liked his color ryes and his body and what not...and at that same night!! she had sex with him.... a few weeks later they met again and he wanted to have sex with her again, in other words use her again, she rejected him due to how bad she felt.
girls are as fast. also!! I had my first time with that same lady friend, got to know her 2 months, we did it and then we are still friends and are s till hanging out. Strange, that even she said that she never really found me attractive, she just did it as a favor. LOL, and yet, she calls me to hang out with her?? I am a good person...if I was like other guys, i would've just used her fer sex and not hang around with her anymore.
What I am trying to say is!!
you gals pick the guys you want to have sex with, it is your own faults for picking the bad apples, not the guy, or guys, you gals have slept with. If they ran away after the deed, then it was your fault for picking those kinds of guys.
I am a good guy, I would never do that to a lady...yet..lol, for some reason..I do not get a lot of chances when it comes to sex, but I sure enjoy the kind of stories my own lady friends tell me. | |
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| I really just have to ask you guys -- all this sex stuff!
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:21:54 AM | I believe it's all about motives...I don't even want to be intimate, or physically involved with someone unless I feel the sparks of intimacy.
We may have things going on in our lives that don't intertwine. Maybe men believe that the connection is there, until the actual physical connection is made, and then they, or the female in the equation realizes that it's not enough to settle for...
Maybe there are those that know the game, such as the woman who just ripped my heart out, who was seemingly perfect for me, both body, mind and spirit, and she claimed the same, saying the perfect thing to keep me interested, to make the love that most only fantasize about. To connect on a level that most cannot comprehend...And then they forget it all for the sake of money, control from others, or just plain cruelness....
Maybe, just maybe, some go without, and just settle for the physical pleasure, and use words, tones, and false intimacy to obtain such.
Hence the sharks and definitive lust in the world, the lust for greed and physical pleasure, unyielding or comprehensive to soul and spirit, or notion of bliss and trueness...
Where is Jesus when such people do this?
Certainly not in THEIR hearts or soul.
People SUCK!!!
And I am learning, that women are just as vicious and malicious as men, where such actions are concerned...
And one wonders..."Where are all the good men"...
We've been tainted, and obviously as a revenge.....I hope you enjoy such actions, for karma is mine, and revenge is the Lords ONLY!!!
You say your tired of games and players?? You say your done with the cruelty and abuse? Had enough of disrespect and mistreatment??
Your not done until you reciprocate, and you've focused on the easy pray, the good man, the bright and positive spirits, for we are easy targets.
This won't change me, and I would NEVER do such a thing, but at least I have grown, and can empathize and know, that such beauty holds a wolfe in sheeps clothing with some, sadly enough...:(
So many thoughts, emotions, and intimate secrets will never be the same, for they will now have to be proven...Words mean nothing now.
Blessings to all.
Scott. | |
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