| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:24:40 PM | Not at all, I'm merely pointing out that you can have great, intimate, rewarding relationships with women that don't necessarily have to involve sex. Apparently you can't appreciate that.
You and I are looking for different things. That's what you fail to see.
And all those intros must be working. That's why you're on here. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:31:01 PM | Toushay,"asydneymale"........!!!
So,when are you moving to Melbourne so we can be friends? LOL !
(fate worse than death,ya know......hehe)
Yeah,some guys are missing out,but,then again.........whats that saying??
What you've never had,you never miss....................
I have male friends in my life & they're wonderful.
They dont want to have sex with me,& i dont want to have sex with them
And,its all good.....................doesn't mean i dont think they're worth knowing !!
Nother thing......i never realized that cats were associated with women who are solo?
Where did that association start,& who started it...?? LOL !
Miaow.........
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:31:31 PM | I just had a funny thought pop into my head, totally out of the blue
while reading your reply!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer! 
There is two ways to approach this, and maybe both ways work!
One is to keep women at an emotional distance, offering them only
your masculinity! This works well and can make for a long lasting
relationship!
Then there is the other approach of becoming closer emotionally
to a woman! This can work too, but I believe you have to be VERY
careful with this approach!
EDIT I guess there is a third approach and it's one of BALANCE between
the two! But a man has to consciously know what he is doing and continually
be able to read the feedback from the woman! Most women don't want a sensitive man, but want a man to show some measure of sensitivity toward their feelings.
I can't help but feel that you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater!
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:35:14 PM | Then there is the other approach of becoming closer emotionally
to a woman! This can work too, but I believe you have to be VERY
careful with this approach!
Nothing wrong with that but why pour your emotions into something that will leave you disappointed one day?
And she will if she's just your friend.
So do it but with someone that you at least have a chance of a one on one relationship with. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:38:28 PM |
And all those intros must be working. That's why you're on here.
Now we're resorting to personal insults?
I'm living in a foreign country at the moment where the choice of available datable women is very limited. I have still managed to assemble a group of fantastic friends, both male and female, to socialize with. I've met and dated several women here even with the limited opportunities.
Before I came here I was in a great relationship with a terrific lady. Her circumstances were such that she couldn't come with me, so we had to split up.
So, contrary to what you were suggesting with your little back-handed remark, those intros are working very well thanks very much, even up here in Indonesia. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:42:09 PM | Now we're resorting to personal insults?
No insults.
Quite odd though that someone who professess to have so many female friends and gets dates as a result would be on a dating site. When do you find the time?
As I stated before, you and I are looking for two totally different things. You want females as friends, then go for it. I don't desire to have many, only one.
If that makes me an oddball or old fashioned or hateful or whatever then so be it. I think a lot of men want the same thing and would be happy with just one female in their lives to be close to. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:52:47 PM | Okay, so I didn't read all four pages of this (I know, i'm getting lazy) but i'd like to chime in.
Here's the thing...
I am not at all disinterested in men. I don't hate men. I don't not like them. In most cases, I totally adore them. If for nothing else, their ability to be a little less dramatic than women are.
I have never been the kind of girl who has a lot of female friends. I dig sports, don't BS people, hate arguing, love the outdoors (hunting, fishing, camping, etc.) and in my younger days could hold my own in a drinking contest. Certainly not the qualities of most young ladies. I have always enjoyed the friendships and opinions of men.
Oh yeah, and some of them are incredibly attractive (personality, intelligence, physical qualities, family values, etc.)
Perhaps it's these things that make it so I don't feel pressured to dress sexy for men, or go to a club for the sole purpose of picking up some drunk guy. I just don't feel it's necessary. I like the company of men, and I like to think they enjoy who I am, as well. I don't think it's necessary to morph into some ridiculous image of what a man might want, in order to "snag" a partner. I wear what I like, because it's comfortable and I like to feel sexy. I go to the bar because the music is good, and I like to dance.
I don't know how the shopping thing came up, but as an avid shopper, let me just say that I would never bring a man shopping with me, unless it was for items for a home we shared or something. Certainly never clothes shopping. He'd just slow me down! lol.
I do enjoy shopping for men though, if they trust me enough to do so.
Oh, and I would NEVER ask a man to hold my purse. That's just silly. Besides, he would never be able to appreciate how adorable it looks slung over a shoulder, the way that I do.
This reminded me slighty of that Brad Paisley song "I'm still a Guy" | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:54:13 PM |
Quite odd though that someone who professess to have so many female friends and gets dates as a result would be on a dating site.
There's more than one way to skin a cat Jim, if you look at the amount of women on POF in Indonesia though, it's very limited and only locals, so the choice hardly compares to what you'd find in America, Canada and Australia.
The primary reason I'm still here is for the forums.
We can't always agree with everyone but I will agree with you on one thing, we are both looking for two totally different things. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:04:43 PM | | generaly yes but we need them we want them i dont care what any one says we want them. are pace is different are timing might seem off. you ever watch discovery channel we are animals. its on!! be the leader of the packed get yours. we all , most of the time look the way we do for the opisit sex some times just to stand up our freinds. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:24:24 PM |
I'd have to conclude that women care a lot less about men than men care for women. By care I mean think about, take into account in their dress, behavior and body language etc. According to these two threads women don't care what men think about how they dress, nor do they go to bars to socialize specifically with men.
I guess the easy answer to this question is to ask yourself how much you think about women when chose what to wear to a club or a trendy bar? For me personally, I don't like going to a nightclub at all if I'm not dressed for the occasion. And the times that I have went against my disposition and just came in there looking really casual, I've asked myself why did I bother. A club is a place to show off, nothing more. So do most men put a lot of effort into dressing in a manner that tends to attract women? No, we don't. Instead, men usually spend our time saying how gay or whipped a guy is who actually does dress and groom himself well, or envy them and say that they're shallow, stupid, etc. Women are the same, saying "what do they see in her? She's shallow. She's stupid". Basically the story is that we are telling people why they SHOULD like us, which never makes anyone like us.
Lastly, if a lady says that she has no concern about what men think when they go to the club, I don't believe that. Women's idea of what looks hot on a woman is clearly influenced by male preferences. Otherwise wouldn't women define sexy with the complete exclusion of physical appearance? What's the significance of feeling sexy unless it relates to sex? And if the woman is heterosexual, then sex relates to men. Why do women wear miniskirts or show cleavage? Is it just "cute"? No, it's because women are influenced by male preferences in female appearance. So if a lady goes to a club and is wearing something sexy, she isn't completely removed from concern about men. But most times she doesn't need to be concerned because most men she'll meet at the club won't be of interest to her anyway, but most women at the club will be of interest to most of the guys there. Just the way it is. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:49:49 PM |
Why do women wear miniskirts or show cleavage? Is it just "cute"? No, it's because women are influenced by male preferences in female appearance. So if a lady goes to a club and is wearing something sexy, she isn't completely removed from concern about men. But most times she doesn't need to be concerned because most men she'll meet at the club won't be of interest to her anyway, but most women at the club will be of interest to most of the guys there. Just the way it is.
That's very smart of you. I suppose this might be true, in some cases, though most women are aware of their sexuality outside of what a man sees.
For instance, the gay woman. She has no interest at all in impressing men, but is just as likely to wear the mini-skirt and cleavy shirt. Why? To impress a woman? If that's the case, wouldn't that mean that women have the same view as men on what's sexy?
Though I completely agree that you're right for the most part. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:00:46 AM | If only more guys did what DJchickie says and go out and just be them selves and not to go out to impress and dress how they think women want to see them.
perhaps more women will think more guys are HOT if they did that.
No it wouldn't. What if just being yourself is to wear sweats and a t-shirt to the club? Is that really a good move? Being hot isn't related to being yourself. And by default if you do dress up as you think will attract women, then some women will be attracted. "Just be yourself" isn't advice, it's what we say when we don't have an answer or a solution. Just be yourself means "just stop trying". That doesn't work. We can sum up human relationships as image management. None of us ever likes someone for who they are, but instead for who we think they are. Thus the people who are able to management their image best are most successful socially. Just being yourself doesn't escape this reality, but instead makes you passive instead of active. Since you can't be everything to everyone, choose how you want to express yourself and do it well, and then you'll see who's interested in you or not. Whether or not you are pleased with those who are interested in you is another matter. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:05:35 AM | I am not at all disinterested in men. I don't hate men. I don't not like them. In most cases, I totally adore them. If for nothing else, their ability to be a little less dramatic than women are.
I have never been the kind of girl who has a lot of female friends. I dig sports, don't BS people, hate arguing, love the outdoors (hunting, fishing, camping, etc.) and in my younger days could hold my own in a drinking contest. Certainly not the qualities of most young ladies. I have always enjoyed the friendships and opinions of men.
Oh yeah, and some of them are incredibly attractive (personality, intelligence, physical qualities, family values, etc.)
Perhaps it's these things that make it so I don't feel pressured to dress sexy for men, or go to a club for the sole purpose of picking up some drunk guy. I just don't feel it's necessary. I like the company of men, and I like to think they enjoy who I am, as well. I don't think it's necessary to morph into some ridiculous image of what a man might want, in order to "snag" a partner. I wear what I like, because it's comfortable and I like to feel sexy. I go to the bar because the music is good, and I like to dance.
lucretia...thats ME too!!!
As for how that references what I said earlier...
Honestly...unless its my partner or potential partner...I have no interest in a man whatsoever.
I interact with men, most of my friends/aquaintances are men...but unless I accidentally come across a man whilst doing all those wonderful ME things... I just dont look for it. I just go around doing my thang.
Ive got better things to do than manhunt and if the OP wants to consider that not caring...well so be it. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:12:21 AM |
For instance, the gay woman. She has no interest at all in impressing men, but is just as likely to wear the mini-skirt and cleavy shirt. Why? To impress a woman? If that's the case, wouldn't that mean that women have the same view as men on what's sexy?
Good point. I was thinking about this as I wrote my reply, but I realized that I've never seen a very consistent pattern in appearance amongst lesbian women. What I have seen is that lesbian women who would be considered "hotties" by heterosexual men don't date women who would not. It's very consistent. It appears that women who are lesbian and who are "hotties" by male standards have a clear bias towards the image of sexiness that is most dominant in society. In other words, it's like feedback. They feel even hotter because they are aroused by their own appearance in addition to that of their comparable peers. It also seems like they identify with this image of sexy (which is heavily influenced by male preferences). So they feel sexy and are attracted to women who look "hot" by male standards. Look at some ads by lesbian or bisexual women. You'll see that if they look hot to guys, they will seek other women who are considered hot by guys. If she's a slim, busty girl with long legs etc., you'll see a strong bias for a girl of similar appearance. Gay men also tend to date guys who look similar to them. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:17:21 AM | ^^^ Poster...you might wanna google this...cos frankly I couldnt be bothered.
Statistically...most successful long term relationships include couples who look "similar".
ie. people that almost look like they could be siblings.
Dunno why it is...but it is.
Sorry OP...offtopic for a minute there. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:36:21 AM |
Women just aren't in a position of desperation where they have to have a man, have to trap a man, have to change themselves to please a man
If you're referring to sex, then I will agree. But if not, then I completely disagree. Women do have to work for man if what she wants is a man who is appealing to her as a whole. It's pretty naive for ANY woman to believe that she will just sit back and a great man will just come her way. Why should he bother to seek her out if she's too lazy to make an effort herself?
Sex is easier to get as a woman because men are more willing (usually). So the vast majority of women can take sex for granted. What they can't take for granted is a satisfying overall relationship with a man. That's hard to come by, or else why would so many women be complaining about the lack of "good" men?
Basically, there are a minority of men who get most of the sexual interest of women, and then a subgroup of that who many women would consider to be very desirable relationship material (that is, they are sexy and can commit to a relationship). Outside of this group, you have the "normal" guys (normal is not meant as an insult, just a description). Normal guys will basically run into a lady who really likes them one day, but the guys in the minority are going to get the most attention, the most dates, etc. So women are competing for the more desirable men because they realize that it's worth the effort. They don't have to worry about being alone per se. They can always find SOME guy to marry. So women do have to try to find someone who they are compatible with, and that's not very easy. If you ask most women, they'll probably say that it isn't so easy at all. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:12:51 AM | We men can be very vain at times and it is through the approval of women that our masculinity is statified, if we are found to be in favour by other women.
On the other hand one may seek the approval of other women because they feel inferior to them.
Men want and need the attention of women. And their approval too, which is why men build muscles (show offs!), go for high paying jobs, etc. If women did not exist, men would be fat, lazy, ungroomed and unmotivated.
Woman will always have power over men because of who they are (power of puss* as one of many) (I think the most beautiful of all God's creations).
Any woman has the power to turn heads, to send a man weak at the knees at the mearest glance in his direction.
He quivers with delight if he knows that she appoves of him. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:21:23 AM |
He quivers with delight if he knows that she appoves of him.
That how nice guys come about. You don't need female approval for jack.
You are the only one who needs to approve of yourself. That's what women are looking for. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:25:26 AM | Like it or not, theres an inherent natural law that exists between the sexes. Women have it over us. There will never be equality of the sexes.
In the matting dance, men have to prove themselves to her.
It goes back to the Principle of the Least Interest. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:29:48 AM | says you pal. thats why you still dont have a female.
Go kiss that ass and see where it gets you. Nowhere. Grow a spine and don't care about female approval. Read around here, it's what they want.
BTW, I've only been single for 6 months and in no rush. | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:38:32 AM | Read below.
And remember maybe the reason why you are here is women can smell the misogynist in you.
"We men can be very vain at times and it is through the approval of women that our masculinity is statified, if we are found to be in favour by other women.
On the other hand one may seek the approval of other women because they feel inferior to them.
Men want and need the attention of women. And their approval too, which is why men build muscles (show offs!), go for high paying jobs, etc. If women did not exist, men would be fat, lazy, ungroomed and unmotivated.
Woman will always have power over men because of who they are (power of puss* as one of many) (I think the most beautiful of all God's creations).
Any woman has the power to turn heads, to send a man weak at the knees at the mearest glance in his direction.
He quivers with delight if he knows that she appoves of him." | |
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| Women don't really care much for men do they?
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:40:17 AM | A simple personal opinion of Mine:
Like it or not, theres an inherent natural law that exists between the sexes. Women have it over us. There will never be equality of the sexes.
In the matting dance, men have to prove themselves to her.
It goes back to the Principle of the Least Interest.
gets a rude comment from you. What are you so bitter about anyway? Did I personally attack you? Grow up and stop acting like a disgruntled brat. No wonder you are without a female. | |
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