| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:42:42 PM | UnstoppableLoveMachine, funny you should state this, "Crazy idea, if there are specific questions you want answered in a first email, how about writing them in your profile and asking people to answer them?"
I was thinking of this as I was driving to see a friend. I came up with the questions I think are important to me. My favorite saying is, "you get what you give in this world."
Though, I would say, once you have been out with someone and started getting to know them, the exchanges should be a bit more deep. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:55:07 PM | Becuase we are good at putting are feet in our mouth.
You know how much you have to drink to get rid of athlete's tongue! | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:00:18 PM | I remember a couple of years ago having this WONDERFUL date with a guy and nothing. I volleyed a soft e-mail to him the next day saying I had a great time and he responded about a week later with a bland you're an "amazing woman" e-mail, but nothing for me to gage his interest. No telephone call or anything. I figured the guy was not interested and trying to let me down nicely. I let it go.
I ran into the guy recently and he mentions how he hoped we could have gone further. I said, "well you should have let me know that, because we could have." Basically, it was all "safe" communication, which goes nowhere.
No offense, but are you stupid?
The guy tells you that you are an "amazing woman" and you think that is bland and a sign of non-interest?
And of course, you were wrong in the end. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:40:50 PM | ^^^^^^^ Are You Stupid?
There are certain Posters in the Forums, that tell half the women they are AMAZING | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:22:56 PM | | I am beiing told that I am gorgeous, charming, amazing and unique. Where is the shovel when I need it? but then, the man is a genius for seeing my best character traits and he barely knows me.... | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:38:43 PM | I usually try to ask at least one question per email when I start talking to somebody. It helps me get to know them to gauge what I think of them, and it also keeps the conversation flowing.
No guy should ever sign his name, though. That's a chick thing. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:42:46 PM | ^^^^^^^^I am very curious! Can you elaborate?
I always sign my name to any E-Mail?
As for complements! It's a big mistake that many men make!
They actually hurt their cause! | |
|
| |
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:13:18 PM | A (One) Sincere compliment is fine as long as it is reasonable!
You can't complement someones character that you barely know!
Giving all kinds of compliments can make the man look desperate
for a woman's approval!
And that only lowers her interest in him!
Still curious about the signing thing! If I don't sign, I highly doubt
that the woman would sign her name back as they usually do!
I think it's a VERY important first step in breaking down the barriers! | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:25:54 PM | The very best dialogue(s) I've had with a man or anyone for that matter, weren't question and answer sessions. Hmmm, more like statements in which a conversation ensued about a particular subject or another. Not that there weren't questions but very few.
It's just boring if every other line tossed back and forth is a question like an interrogation. I don't talk to my friends that way. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:32:05 PM | | Yes Plastic, you are right about the name thing. In fact mine is so odd that I almost always get another email just asking if that is really my name. It's not well grounded in reality as a man could use any name he wished, but it does make me feel more engaged in the correspondence when a letter is signed. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:32:18 PM | | I dated the man I am talking about before, and we have seen each other again in person, he just seems to use way too many complimentary words about me. Makes him look either desparate or appear to be a liar or a player. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:36:52 PM | Generally, I (and most guys from what I've seen) tend to treat emails more like a conversation on messenger rather than an actual letter. They don't require indented paragraphs and other such formalities, so it seems pointless to sign them at the end.
Plastic Sturgeon is spot on about the compliments, though. Very true. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:41:01 PM |
Your profile only has 3 lines. How many questions am I supposed to come up with when I only have a limited amount of information? We need something to work with here too. (Maybe you make up for this in your emails, this is just an observation based on your profile)
Thought I'd better do a post to defend myself here as a few people are blasting my profile. Just wanted to point out that you are making the assumption here that men actually read profiles which I've generally found is not the case. I did used to have a more detailed profile but people rarely bothered to read any of it. So I decided to make it short and snappy instead as advised by a guide to internet dating I read. As to having more info to work with well I would have thought that the less info there is on a profile the more questions it is possible to ask as you don't already have the answer. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:51:21 PM | Here's a question:
Why must men supply you with questions to fuel the fire of conversation?
It's called demonstrating interest in knowing more about her.
Question:
Why must we sign our names? Are you suddenly uncomfortable using their online nic?
I have no problem with them not sharing their name unless and until they're ready, as I don't either.
Why do most women eventually convert everything into the same formula as Oprah's talk show (a series of endless questions)?
How, exactly, is requesting that men show interest by asking a few sincere and well thought out questions synonymous with Oprah's talk show formula? That doesn't even make sense. Must be that large male brain workin' overtime...
As to having more info to work with well I would have thought that the less info there is on a profile the more questions it is possible to ask as you don't already have the answer.
But Cec, there has to be enough there to generate interest and give them a direction to go in when forumulating their questions. Otherwise you get generic, worn out questions that are not personalized to you. There may be some men who don't read profiles, but any who are worth knowing and want to know you will. JMO | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:17:02 PM | | quite actually, i never had a problem with the gentlemen i dated and the lack of reciprocation of questions in conversation. they all had careers that required their use of public speaking, decision making, critical thinking and being able to reason and articulate their points. i think it was a combination of them having an interest, their skills and their maturity level. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:42:25 PM | So I decided to make it short and snappy instead as advised by a guide to internet dating I read. As to having more info to work with well I would have thought that the less info there is on a profile the more questions it is possible to ask as you don't already have the answer.
Time to burn that book, 'cause obvioiusly it's not working for ya. 
If you want to play dumb, act dumb, be a blank slate and have your date ignore you because the waitress has more personality, you're on the right track. You NEED to show some personality.
When I'm asked a question, I tend to treat it like a political press conference. You are gonna get a long-winded answer, not a sound byte. I have found that most women I've chatted with on dating sites tend to be scared away by all the text, the material, the personal essay that I write.......but 1 in 20 really THRIVES on it, and can match me word-for-word in long annecdotes, stories by example, detailed stories of past experiences and fanciful descriptions of dreams yet to be realized. Those are what I call REAL letters.
And most of the those women I never date!  Not because of their writing skills....I tend to exchange a lot of letters, but it's not romantic stuff, we just talk about dating and relationships in general --- they kind of things you'd WANT to discuss with a date, but they usually DON'T talk about!!
My point is this: You have to WRITE a letter to GET a letter. 
I'll extend you an invitation. Write me a letter---about ANYTHING, and we can practice Q/A or just discussion. Heck, I'll extend that invitation to any woman on this topic (excluding any that may be currently blocked). :)
Writing is easy. Communicating is hard.
| |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:53:50 PM |
Thought I'd better do a post to defend myself here as a few people are blasting my profile. Just wanted to point out that you are making the assumption here that men actually read profiles which I've generally found is not the case. I did used to have a more detailed profile but people rarely bothered to read any of it. So I decided to make it short and snappy instead as advised by a guide to internet dating I read. As to having more info to work with well I would have thought that the less info there is on a profile the more questions it is possible to ask as you don't already have the answer.
So you eliminated the potential for guys who would read your profile at length who might be looking for a real partnership because you want to appeal more to guys you don't want anyway, the type that won't read your lengthy profile? Because a book told you it was a good idea?
And this book told you the best way to filter for compatibility and to get the kind of responses you want is to write a grand total of three sentences, basically detailing what TV shows you like to watch?
Giving someone a sense of interest and mystery and giving someone NOTHING are two different ballgames.
It's definitely short. You might find some argument at this point from folks on site though about the snappy part. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:15:09 PM | It's a most interesting topic! Mostly I don't like long winded profiles!
Picture is number one, then just look for a couple of yays or nays in
the interests. Or look for stuff like kids, or height!
Then contact them to see if you perk their interest! Almost always, NOT!
Women, I have found that were really interested in me, hardly paid
any attention to my profile!
Sometimes a longer profile can hurt you more then help you! Some are
actually quite annoying!
If you get a lot of interest on your profile, but don't find that the
respondents interest you, then what's the point? | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:18:25 PM | Lazy men.
Consider that a blessing to know that now instead of 3 months down the line you have a man who just sits in front of the tv or computer and doesnt talk much. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:36:14 PM |
Just wanted to point out that you are making the assumption here that men actually read profiles which I've generally found is not the case
Sounds like the men in question here are just lazy
I remember a couple of years ago having this WONDERFUL date with a guy and nothing. I volleyed a soft e-mail to him the next day saying I had a great time and he responded about a week later with a bland you're an "amazing woman" e-mail, but nothing for me to gage his interest. No telephone call or anything. I figured the guy was not interested and trying to let me down nicely. I let it go.
I ran into the guy recently and he mentions how he hoped we could have gone further. I said, "well you should have let me know that, because we could have." Basically, it was all "safe" communication, which goes nowhere.
I don't think he was trying to let you down; it sounds like he was too much of a pansy to actively pursue you.
My opinion in both cases is that you should expect better of the men you meet and exchange messages with or else find other men. I agree with vro312; if you don't like how they write then throw those fish back in the pond. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:21:25 PM | | Because we know all the answers... Just Kidding. Interesting you say some of these things. In most cases, I have asked many gals questions related to there profile on this site, always sign with my name, but very few respond back. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:04:05 PM | No offense, but are you stupid?
No, I'm not stupid, but a lot of men say nice things to get rid of women. The guy in question never asked me on another date and "wished me luck" in my writing career. To me that sounds like a nice "get lost" so I got lost. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:09:33 PM | "don't think he was trying to let you down; it sounds like he was too much of a pansy to actively pursue you."
I agree he was a "pansy" and I let the fishy go. | |
|
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:47:50 PM | | Responding to an ad isn't an art form. There are no classes to take on where to go to respond to a personals ad. So a lot of people, including myself, come up speechless at times because we don't know what to say. We forget that no matter how many ad responses we write, they are all to different women. I'm thinking that the responses that we write to people should be basically the same, but some questions can be asked in reference to that persons interests. | |
|
Home
login 
