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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 1:33:15 AM | bad laws do not make a bad mother bad laws make criminals out of the innocent !
when will people begin to understand that drugs are neither good nor bad but used in a good or bad way and that drugs are not evil and there is a massive ,,yes massive difference between use and abuse .
mental health is the issue here and way too many people play with statistics like saying that people who use marijuana are more likley to suffer schizophrenia ,,,,,,yet surely people who suffer schitzophrenia and minor mental health issues such as depression use marijuana for self medication ,,,,,,its easy to balme marijuana for pre existing issues .
freedom of choice ,,,freedom of judgement by fools and idiots and born again loonies | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 278 | |
| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 1:44:44 AM | I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Do most other people really see this issue the way he does?
I'll tell you how I call it OP...not a judgement on you...its purely my personal opinion.
How do I ultimately *feel* about the use of marijuana? ...IMO not any different to alcohol
How do I *feel* about people being pro-using it? I dont care, Im not opinionated one way or the other cos I dont use it however I would prefer it not used around me
How do I realistically *feel* about people using it?...well this is my take...
Its Illegal at this point in time and its not a necessity.
I wouldnt put myself in the position of doing anything illegal that could possibly be an action that would then end in a result to my child/children.
My opinion on this aspect...is just as representative of alcohol. Illegal use of prescription drugs come into that too.
Drink if you wanna...even get drunk if you wanna but do it privately but dont do anything that would bring other negative influences into the home.
Thats not to say kids cant see adults party (within reason)...but not to the point of being "out of it", dependent or vomiting or angry or anything else.
This ALSO INCLUDES the "responsible" use of a drug that is ILLEGAL.
I dont think you're a bad mother because you advocate it...I do have hesitation in saying you're a good mother for ultimately offering your child/children something that has consequences that shouldnt effectively happen for no reason.
If they legalise marijuana...it wont make ME use it...and I wont care if other people do...
...BUT ...until they can legalise it...AND here is the MOST important issue to me...use confidently and consistently breathalyzers that detect the use of dope in a persons system...I say it shouldnt be legalised.
What people do to themselves is one thing...when its life/death/impact scenarios on other human beings...I say No. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:15:48 AM | | I bet she doesn't even have kids. I bet this is a troll post. Her profile originally indicated her kids were 'over the age of 18' (and she's only 24 herself). She made the bizarre statement in her original post; about her daughter not being allergic to poison ivy (huh?)............she's allegedly a criminal justice student. I wonder if maybe her post concocted as part of some assignment she's doing -- to poll people and see what opinions are on parents who smoke pot. Her responses here, through these how many pages, are bizarre. She doesn't address ANY of the points people have raised (the risks of getting arrested, the risk of her being reported to CPS, the fact that she's posted her picture and as a mom, admits to using illegal substances, bla bla bla). Her cavalier responses strike me as odd.......particularly her last one. It's all a joke to her. I think she's a troll. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:48:43 AM |
Her cavalier responses strike me as odd.......particularly her last one. It's all a joke to her.
Indeed it is, just as it is to most who smoke pot. No different than the people who use the, "I could just as easily get hit by a bus as get cancer from cigarettes." Nobody takes the consequences seriously until they actually face them themselves. Then what? Oh it's everybody else who's to blame for not protecting them from reality. How many people have warned of the possibility of spending time in jail, and what? "Oh you pot haters just don't understand!" It's not about hating pot, it's about understanding you are going to pay a price that is not worth paying if/when you are caught! Does nobody watch Cops? All it takes is for your tail light to be burned out. They pull you over, smell a little weed, search your car, and next thing you know you're in the back of a cruiser. If you don't care, then neither do I. It's you that'll be sitting in the cell, not me. Do your, "Nyeah nyeah nyeah poo poo," dance of spite for me behind those bars. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:03:13 AM | OK...if the OP is NOT a troll....I am undecided on that one...could just be a "Florence (KY), Ya' All" sort of thing! LOL
Anyway...lemme tell you a quick story. My daughter opened a bedroom window to air out a floor she had just mopped with bleach. She left for a few minutes and in that short time, my (then) 3 year old grandson fell out the window when he leaned against the screen. When we were at the ER, the Doctor took myself, my daughter, and her BF aside to talk to us. He insisted that he smelled marijuana on us, and was planning to report us to DFS. I was FURIOUS...partly because I DO NOT smoke pot...and partly because I had just commented to my daughter how the cheap cigarettes she was smoking, smelled similar to weed! But I also understood that it was HIS JOB...his responsibility. So I offered to have every one of us drug tested, right then and there. At this point, it was time for my grandson to be released, and we would have had to check ourselves back into the ER waiting list, individually for the tests. So we did not.
Because my daughter and grandson lived with me at the time...DFS came to MY house. In the long run...everything was fine, nothing was substantiated, we all passed drug tests, etc...but let me tell you...IT WAS PURE HELL...to go through. In my 25 years of raising four children, I NEVER had something so humiliating and frustrating and insulting, occur! AND WE HAD NOT SMOKED POT. I can only imagine if, something happened to your daughter...not because you were stoned...not because of negligence...but because THINGS HAPPEN to kids. Things happen to GOOD parents.
At the time DFS was investigating...my daughter actually had to sign over temporary guardianship to me. It was that, or he would be removed from the home! No matter how close your ex and you are...no matter how smooth things are with you NOW...let me tell you, you DON'T want to add fuel to the possibility of him gaining full custody in the future. And you don't want your daughter to go through the trauma of a DFS investigation!
"It won't happen to me!" Ha! Ha, Ha! My daughter said the same thing! | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:15:13 AM | | I think that MJ should be legal as well. But it's not where I live. And I don't smoke it because I want to set a good example for the people who look up to me in the community. You don't set a good example by breaking the law. I don't even have a child - and I make the effort to be a good example. So what does it say when someone with a child does not? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:40:41 AM | mthomjmark.....
I tried to email you privately, but you're not accepting msgs from someone of my age and you have one other restriction too. Just wanted to tell you that I just love your posts on the message boards! You have a great no-nonsense approach and it's all common sense.
Just wanted to say I agree with just about everything you said in msg 65.
Sharzi | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:53:54 AM | 1) Its mind alterting
2) Its illegal
3) It's addictive
4) What example is this setting for your daughter.
5) Our children learn the most from the examples we set.
6) Bad mother, certaintly NOT the best mother. | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:55:16 AM | I often think back to Eddie Izzard saying that in Amsterdam, they smoke it. And they speak 4 different languages. We don't smoke it and can barely speak one.
My Friend, who's a teacher, tells me that the teachers at his school smoke it before class to help with the stress. FIND ANOTHER JOB THEN!
There's a time and a place for it and we all get stressed but to take drugs when you are in charge of other people's kids..? Wrong!
I for one don't take drugs. But I see no reason not to legalize it.
As long as it's not done in front of minors or affect the upbringing it should be personal choice. I see parents who drink until they fall over in front their kids. Keep babies up till 12am in pubs and sit them a metre away from a blasting speaker! That's a bad parent.
Don't worry dusty, you take no notice of a fool who can't handle being turned down and results to insult!
Bob Marley Rules...
Mike x | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:03:38 AM | For the pot smokers including the OP; there is now a hybrid plant they use, (dogs can't detect it yet) it does not look like a mj plant nor has the odor, its grows faster and requires half of the production time and power(lighting) that a mj plant requires. A few toxic chemicals are added to the final product so you get the same buzz, but they chemical additive also make it habitual like cigarettes, some of you think these people don't have any smarts ,you are wrong ,it's a business.
And they are laughing at you, not with you. Next time you get some grass add some to a glass of water with some nutrasweet , if nothing happens your product might be ok....if not you will soon see a chemical reaction and will be pissed that you are not smoking a natural product. These people are a much smarter than you are . .
Well I have done my part in reporting this person through the right channels. Children come first. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:04:37 AM | First of all i don't see where any man can call a woman a bad mother or woman can call a man a bad father. Since neither can be either its a dumb argument .. I'm sure theres extremes on both sides, so don't take this argument too symantically.
Like other postings I agree, you shouldn't have it around your daughter, nor be under its influences around her either. Legalities aside, i see more danger in a mother or father talking on a cell phone driving distracted, or one that uses physical abuse as corporal punishment.
I think you're a great mother for asking the right questions, a bad mother wouldn't care... | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:17:52 AM | how about this one... using drugs.....IT'S UNAMERICAN.
drugs come into this country and are bought and used by idiot americans.
that drug money sometimes goes to the enemies of america to help bring us down.
it's bad enough we're getting gouged on gas by oil cartels, speculators and others that will bring our economy to it's knees. but we need gas, we don't need dope or dopers. these wastoids are also funding terrorism in some cases. yes, any mother using illegal drugs like marijuana is a bad mother. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:22:25 AM | | Well, to get to the point, I smoke grass daily. Almost everyone I know smokes daily. I see parents smoke around their kids with no ill effect. Anyone who cast judgement on this subject without ever smoking themselves are ignorant. I would also like to add that after 14 yrs. of personal research, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Keep smoking. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:40:15 AM | Look up the word emantic, what do you know about bong hits? and aren't you being a wee bit judgemental here? To occasionally smoke or drink, but be an attentive parent's not a bad thing. I know parents who don't smoke, or drink, but are never around..
I think the man who made this judgement in the first place has no argument because he's never met her.. Maybe it was you? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:41:07 AM | For the pot smokers including the OP; there is now a hybrid plant they use, (dogs can't detect it yet) it does not look like a mj plant nor has the odor, its grows faster and requires half of the production time and power(lighting) that a mj plant requires. A few toxic chemicals are added to the final product so you get the same buzz, but they chemical additive also make it habitual like cigarettes, some of you think these people don't have any smarts ,you are wrong ,it's a business.
And they are laughing at you, not with you. Next time you get some grass add some to a glass of water with some nutrasweet , if nothing happens your product might be ok....if not you will soon see a chemical reaction and will be pissed that you are not smoking a natural product. These people are a much smarter than you are . .
Well I have done my part in reporting this person through the right channels. Children come first.
Why are police always trying to spread paranoid? I live in a meth infested town, i've heard everything from meth laced candy's being handed out to school children to meth being laced on all pot in the town, which is complete BS. While at the same time, these same police officers who spread these absurd rumors also do absolutely NOTHING about meth houses they know about, and have had tons of people report into them.
Is it some sort of game to act like people are needing their protection?
Seriously. Cause i mean ONE strand existing in the world if there even is such a strand, doesn't make it very likely to show up in anyones hands.
I guess you're a pilot, least thats what it looks like now that i look at your uniform more closely. but still you're spreading propaganda... and i suppose i can't direct the main post at you anymore. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:50:54 AM | There are not many topics that I'll post to...but after reading this ....I had to put in my 2 cents.
Absolutely, unequivocally...do I see this as an issue....Long story ...short....pot smoking ruined my marriage of 24 years. He started out in the '70s as a occasional smoker..and by the time I kicked him to the curb he was smoking daily and could not go to sleep without smoking before he went to bed. This man is highly educated (Dr.), very smart...but the pot defiantly has stunted him emotional growth...I grew and he didn't....Together we brought 2 children into this world and my biggest fear as they they entered their teen years was them finding out that their dad was addicted to pot...lo and behold they found out...it was only a matter of time...and now they have very little respect for him.
Bottom line....you at the age of 24 have not a clue as to weather you have the ability to be a occasional smoker or end up smoking daily.....yes....the pot today is NOTHING like the pot in the '70's ...there are addictive chemicals in them. A parents who smokes views life from a smoke filled brain....It will affect your child just like an alcoholic parent does. IMHO....a very selfish parent...period. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:55:56 AM | Occassionally you'll see an adult reminisce back to their childhood, and wish that certain things about that childhood would have been different.
I've known of many people who grew up in homes where substance abuse was common (either alcohol, or pot, or something else) who will occassionally make comments that they wished their parents had spent more time with them as children, and less time engaged in their "bad habits".
I have never heard of anyone look back on their upbringing, and wished their parents would have spent more time drunk or stoned.
Maybe some of the people, who are posting here to defend marijuana use, or to argue the pros & cons of marijuana use, are completely missing the point of this thread?
This woman has a young child.
Whether or not you agree with the legality or marijuana use, is less relevant than the fact that this person seems to prefer to indulge in her "habit", rather than tend to the parenting of the young child in her custody.
If she was happilly living a slacker lifestyle, by herself with no dependants, I couldn't give a shit whether or not she smokes dope several times a week. But knowing that she's a parent of a 6 year, it concerns me.
I suppose that if a slacker, with no family responsibilities who lives in a van by the river, wants to make drug use the most important thing in his life, that's his own decsion.
But, the parent of a 6 year old has to realise that the 6 year old is the primary responsibility in her life. Getting stoned all the time is a lifestyle you should leave behind once you assume the responsibilities of child-raising. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:58:54 AM | | bad laws make criminals out of innocent people?! What a load of crap!!! people are suppose to know right from wrong and hopefully make right choices. innocent people are smart enough not to become criminals. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:10:10 AM |
bad laws do not make a bad mother bad laws make criminals out of the innocent !
Anyone who knowingly breaks the law is not innocent............if the laws are bad try to change the law....but in the mean time when one knowingly breaks that law it makes it criminal...............I dont agree with every law on the books...but I'm adverse to going to jail for breaking them so till they change I will abide by them............ | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:16:46 AM | In answer to MICKANCE..... I work with young people, these people live with their families, therefore we are able to get background history about the young person when we do assessments after presentation to services...Most times there is no evidence of psychosis before the person started using weed. Patients themselves will often admit their problems started after using.
In my experience working with people diagnosed with schizophrenia, they will relapse if they start to use again. If they have never stopped using, they rarely recover enough to lead anything resembling a normal life, though, because most are able to make the link they do stop for good.
I will state again for all those who think I am talking BS, just because you have never had bad experiences with weed, rememeber the world doesnt revolve around you. Just as with alcohol, its a pleasure for some, but for others its the beginning of a nightmare. It just helps to recognise the dangers for some and not dismiss whats staring you in the face. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:19:59 AM | First off i too am pro-legalization and i partake on occasion. I'm also a single parent as well. However i also realize that i am partaking of an illegal intoxicant. This has many ramifications and risks. It's an adult choice and requires adult consideration.
Pot does different things to different people, but it does do something to everyone who uses it, or they wouldn't bother. The thing is, does using it result in a lower quality of care for your child ? Either because you're too stoned to clean the house, color with them or whatever, or because as one person suggested, you're spending their college fund on pot ? If you can smoke pot AND handle life's business, then I dont' see a problem here. Unfortunately many people can't and that's a problem.
Next comes the legal aspects. Pot is illegal. Possession and use of pot is a crime. Committing a crime carries with it the risk of arrest and prosecution. If you get busted, you will have to deal with the legal hassles. That will detract from your ability to parent. This is a big risk you take.
The employment aspect is another thing to consider, can you get a good paying job that doesn't want you to pass a drug screening ? It's possible, but the odds are against you.
How do you and your ex get along ? Is there the possibility of him using your drug usage against you in a custody battle ?
With all this in mind, it boils down to whether or not the kid suffers because you smoke. If you can honestly say no, then go ahead and smoke until the answer becomes yes. But once you hit the yes, you have to stop. It's that simple.
Also consider it from a relationship angle, only someone who's pot friendly is going to make a good match for you. The problem with this is not all drug users are good catches. While there are plenty of losers who don't use drugs, there's even more who do. An idiot pot head boyfriend will get you busted even quicker then you'll get yourself busted.
It's a tight rope you're walking. If you can handle it, more power to you. If not , then remember that there is a time and place for everything and while you are parenting may not be the time or place for pot.
There's also the example factor to consider, if your kids know you smoke then that tells them it's ok to smoke. Teenagers don't have the mental discipline to handle drug usage and life's demands as well as adults should be able to. You may be doing them a big dis-service.
You can always just quit until they're 18 and then smoke yourself to oblivion on their 18th birthday 
I can go on, but i think my point is clear here, only you know if you can handle both properly. Parenting your child is the most important task you have right now, even more important then finding a date. If pot interferes in that task, then it's got to go.
When i was 17 and tried pot, i fell in love with it. But i also promised myself if it ever cost me more then i wanted to pay (financially, family wise, career wise, etc) then it and i would have to part ways. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:37:50 AM | Scott in Tulsa...this is perhaps one of the most fair and reasonable posts on this thread....especially since it is coming from someone who admits to smoking pot. :)
i think women who smoke cigarettes are bad mothers as well. awful example you are setting. your kid is going to be curious, when you say, "dont smoke because it's really bad for you" they aren't going to listen.
LMAO...otay! And you say this as a parent or as a child who went through this?? My children were exposed to my smoking cigarettes. They also saw me quit each time I became pregnant, each time I was breastfeeding, and the times I quit just because it was my time to do so. When my son got caught with cigarettes, he was made to smoke an entire pack, one after the other, in front of me. Did he question WHY it was ok for me, but not for him? NO. Because it was not LEGAL for him to be buying or smoking them and he knew it. (And no...he did not smoke MINE.) But most importantly, we are human. We make wrong choices for ourselves. Just because I choose something wrong for me, does not mean it's "ok" for my children. If you want to lump cigarette smokers into this category, then you should also lump in social drinkers, over eaters, lack of exercisers, drivers who speed, parents who use a sick day for personal reasons, etc.
Regarding all the things said about pot not being addictive, not being mind altering, etc...18 years ago, I was engaged to marry a man I was with for 2.5 years. He was a pot smoker, which I accepted because he was respectful about not smoking it around me, not having it at my home, in my car, etc... There was a dry spell where he could not get any of his precious weed for 2 weeks...and I saw a completely different side of this person...and realized I was marrying someone based on their pot personality, and not his real personality. I am so sick of hearing from adults who smoke the crap, say how it does not impair them in any way, it does nothing more than mellow them out. If that were the case, then WHY is it needed?? | |
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