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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/20/2008 1:15:42 PM | Brianltl: looking for you, I have heard of medical marijuana card but didn't know anyone who really had one. Would be interested in talking with you but can't get through cause of your age limit.
Give me a shout please.
Gypsy | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:12:31 PM | Harley, I misunderstood about the cigarette part... I gotcha now- the room smelled like it.
You don't have to trust anyone you don't want to. I wouldn't trust someone who is a thief and I wouldn't care what their charge is or even if they have one. To me, yes, most misdemeanors don't mean that much, however my point was to those who act like she's going to go to prison for 500 years that it's not like that.
(I hadn't noticed that the OP deleted her profile.)
OK, THERE is the difference between you and the (now gone) OP, so why can't you see and acknowledge that difference??
I have. In fact several pages back I told the OP that I would consider her irresponsible if she were smoking in front of her kid. But I know that regular smokers would have no problem with an emergency. I've had a couple pop up back in the day, and all of us handled things just fine. The only exception I can see would be smoking high grade stuff, but it's so expensive that most of the people I know save that for partying, if they do it at all.
However, my reasoning for not smoking with my kids home is entirely different. I can't say I've NEVER done it, because I have, but I don't believe it's a child's place to have to keep their parent's secrets. I know myself and my limits and I know I could handle an emergency should one arise, but unfortunately until it's legalized, it has to be a secret. I don't really have a big problem with people smoking with their kids home; it's the ones who do it in front of their kids like it's no big deal that I have a huge issue with.
I also acknowledged that she could have her kid taken away, and that's a risk she takes. I don't think it's highly likely that it would happen, but there is that risk. I say that because 8 oz is a lot of pot and I doubt she's got that much on her at any given time unless she's dealing. My husband smoked it regularly and one time the cops got called out to our house (he was abusive) and my best friend told the cops that he smokes. Nothing happened. Most of the time they won't jack with you unless they suspect abuse or neglect of your kids, unsafe living conditions, etc. I'm sure some states/counties/cities have stricter policies, but I know what happens where I live, as I think everyone who smokes should be aware of. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:30:52 PM |
I also acknowledged that she could have her kid taken away, and that's a risk she takes. I don't think it's highly likely that it would happen, but there is that risk. I say that because 8 oz is a lot of pot and I doubt she's got that much on her at any given time unless she's dealing. My husband smoked it regularly and one time the cops got called out to our house (he was abusive) and my best friend told the cops that he smokes. Nothing happened. Most of the time they won't jack with you unless they suspect abuse or neglect of your kids, unsafe living conditions, etc. I'm sure some states/counties/cities have stricter policies, but I know what happens where I live, as I think everyone who smokes should be aware of.
The risk of her having her kid taken away has absolutely NOTHING to do with whether she has more or less than 8 oz of pot at any given time. It has almost nothing at all to do with whether or not she ever gets arrested, a ticket, or anything else. Her record can be entirely clean legally, but if her ex decides to press the issue - a copy of this thread and her profile admitting to ">3x per week use" while the child is in her care 6 days a week is ALL it takes. Its not a criminal matter, its a FAMILY LAW matter. And I think anyone who's honest would admit that if the ex takes her to court asking for custody - and its established that she has had care of the child 6 days per week while partaking of an illegal drug more than 3 times per week on a regular basis - she'll lose custody to the other parent, pretty cut and dried. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:40:48 PM |
The risk of her having her kid taken away has absolutely NOTHING to do with whether she has more or less than 8 oz of pot at any given time. It has almost nothing at all to do with whether or not she ever gets arrested, a ticket, or anything else. Her record can be entirely clean legally, but if her ex decides to press the issue - a copy of this thread and her profile admitting to ">3x per week use" while the child is in her care 6 days a week is ALL it takes. Its not a criminal matter, its a FAMILY LAW matter. And I think anyone who's honest would admit that if the ex takes her to court asking for custody - and its established that she has had care of the child 6 days per week while partaking of an illegal drug more than 3 times per week on a regular basis - she'll lose custody to the other parent, pretty cut and dried.
It takes a lot to take a child from his/her mother. Hopefully she knows her ex well enough to know whether he would take her to court over this or not. I don't know why you keep bringing up honesty. I'm not lying to you or myself. I know how things work where *I* live, and hopefully she's educated herself on how things work where she lives. I would imagine she's taken into consideration what the consequences would be.
All in all, smoking pot in and of itself does not make her a bad mother in my eyes. Bad mothers smoke pot in front of their kids, get shitfaced drunk in front of them (or while in their care), neglect them, starve them, lock them in the basement, beat them, etc. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:42:14 PM | "DOPE IS HOPELESS... HOPE IS DOPELESS..."
End of story.
Of course OP deleted herself, or at least THAT profile... she discovered she could be in some serious trouble should someone take a copy of that profile to the authorities, including child services.....
Musta been when she wasn't stoned, LMAO! | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/21/2008 7:09:53 PM | | Marijuana is illegal. If you get imprisoned, child protective services will take away visitation rights. You say that you love your daughter. I believe you are a good mother. This has nothing to do with partaking in illegal activities that could potentially ruin your life, by preventing you from ever seeing your daughter. A good day for you would be to spend time at the court house, reviewing cases of mothers and children being taken away permanently from the parent for being arrested on drug charges. What a shame that a good parent could have something like this happen to her. Maybe you can go to the doctor and get a prescription for something that will make you feel good. This would be legal, at least, and not put you in jeopardy of incarceration, legal fees, attorney costs, bail, and time missed from work. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:24:12 PM | | Well, I used to get high in the 70's, and I know that when you're stoned you don't have your sh*t together. What if you had an emergency while you were stoned ? Your daughter depends on you to ALWAYS have your sh*t together. I'm not against pot, I just think you need to be a responsible mother. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:31:38 PM |
Of course OP deleted herself, or at least THAT profile... she discovered she could be in some serious trouble should someone take a copy of that profile to the authorities, including child services.....
A few pages back somebody indicated that they had done so. I'm not sure if they really did or if it was just posted to scare some sense into the OP. I guess we won't know if that's what caused the disappearing act, but I would think it played some sort of role as the two events happened to occur very close together. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:20:30 AM | | Unless you have ever smoked MJ then your opinion means nothing for you do not have any knowledge to base your opinion!I have smoked MJ in the past and you do not get so high that it impairs your jugement as much as alcohol or any other drug!It is considered as a pain reliever by the food and drug administration and administered by Doctors with PHD's.The federal gov has made it leagle in many states as well as California.You can not be aressted for the use of MJ and if you have a Medical use card then they cant even take it from you!As for wasting money on it if you buy a case of soda or beer is that a waste of money?people like you should at least do a little research on the subject before giving your ignorant opinion on the subject.As for her being a bad Mother,I think not!!!A bad mother is someone who does not care for their child no mater what they use or do not use!I have seen women that do not use anything and are bad mothers or men that are bad fathers!This from a person who loves nothing more then my child and does not use MJ anymore and does not drink! | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:28:51 AM | Mrbl....
There isn't really any way to turn her into CPS from here. Unless someone knows her full name or phone number or something. Even an IP trace from admin isn't going to pin her exact location. Admin probably has better things to do than trace IP's of members over stuff like this anyway. However that's not to say that she knew that, and I think it was a cop that said it to her which could have freaked her out.
Btw (general info)-
Armentano wrote, "[B]y the University of Mississippi's (which conducted the study) own admission, the average THC in domestically grown marijuana - which comprises the bulk of the US market - is less than five percent, a figure that's remained unchanged for nearly a decade." He continued, "THC - regardless of potency - is non-toxic and incapable of causing a fatal overdose. Currently, doctors may legally prescribe a FDA-approved pill that contains 100 percent THC, and curiously, nobody at the University of Mississippi or at the Drug Czar's office seems particularly concerned about it." Armentano concluded, "If lawmakers … were really concerned about potential risks posed by potent marijuana, they would support regulating the drug, so that its potency would be known to the consumer."
So most people are buying domestic and NOT supporting the terrorists. Whether or not pot is stronger now then back in the day doesn't seem to matter. I don't know about you, but I'd rather put a non-toxic substance in my body than a lab produced product.
I have submitted a question to NORML about parental marijuana use and the risks of CPS taking one's children. If they get back to me, I'll post their response. They are very good about showing both sides of the argument and providing facts.
And one last thing- it really pisses me off when people assume that all pot smokers are stupid. Some of the greatest men (and women) of all time were pot smokers. It's not a fair statement to lump all pot smokers together. Some of us really do pay attention to what's going on and make informed decisions based on various sources of information. I wouldn't just blindly take a prescription drug because the doctor prescribed it for me either. | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:35:52 AM | I dont think smoking MJ makes you a bad mother. Maybe a pothead but not a bad mother... Oh and by the way is the Zero tolerance thingy new? If I cant be a smartypants sometimes I'm not gonna be able to do the forum thing anymore | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:48:47 AM | OP
Try and not let anothers opinion affect you in a negative manner. It sounds like you are a loving mother.
Think about how many parents drink, smoke, verbally berate, expose their kids to strange new aquientences, and so forth. Parenting is loving and caring for your child or children. I have a adopted daughter. Some say she is not my "real" daughter. I raised her into adulthood and now have an adult parent child relationship. To us we are daughter and dad, no matter what anyones "opinion"is. | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:03:50 AM |
I think pot is no different than alcohol.
The difference is that smoking pot is against the law and if she gets pulled over with pot in the car she will go to jail.
As far as being a bad parent,thats between you and her father.
Who are we to point fingers.
Just don`t date drug free guys. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:15:12 AM | | It may not be so much about good or bad. I have had bad experiences with drinkers and drug users and stay clear because of that. Perhaps his judgment was colored from previous experience. And, for me I battled booze and and quit many years ago, so wish to stay away from certain lifestyles. Bur, I do not say it is wrong for others. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:47:59 AM | | its a discusting habit and it always leads to misery.smoking marijuana is only a short term fix.you should stop and read what you wrote and see what we see.your childs face should tell you what you already know.if you want to be a parent,grow up and stop now. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/22/2008 1:24:35 PM | Okay, I read the forums all the time, but this is my first time posting one... bear with me :)
I've never really thought about it, but yeah, I guess I do fall into the "single mother" catagorie...
>>How much thought does it take to decide whether or not you fall into the "single mother" category"? See...the drugs are working already!
I'm against antibiotics and processed/pasteurized foods.
>>In other words, against the healthy stuff, but weed is okay?
Here's what makes me a bad mother: I'm pro-legalization for marijuana and like most other legalization activists, I partake. I don't deny it or try to keep it a secret from anyone because I don't believe it's a bad thing.
>>Yep, that's what makes you a bad mother!
Back to the "single mother" thing... No, I'm not on welfare, foodstamps, or any other kind of government assistance (aside from my student loans).
>>Now if you were paying back your student loans instead of spending the money on weed....
Anyway... This guy on here just completely went off on me after I refused to meet up with him and told me what a terrible mother I must be...
Do most other people really see this issue the way he does?
>>Can't speak for most people, but just for myself...and yes, he is 100% right! What kind of way is that to raise a six year old? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:15:54 PM |
On come on..............you clearly admit to being a pot smoker yet you lie in your profile to the question of whether you do drugs (you've answered "no"). What's wrong - you don't want to honestly represent yourself? Let's be real here; the profile question of "drugs" is referring to illegal drugs.......not things like caffeine, Advil, nicotine (it already asks if a person smokes)...........I love how dopers are here on a dating site, misrepresenting themselves............if you're so damn proud of being a pot smoker, why aren't you honest in your profile?
Because they're not.
I love the ones also that defend the stoners 'right' to smoke and break the law, yet hasten to add they themselves don't smoke the stuff. Plenty of 'em on the thread already.
I once shared a house with a bloke who was a primary school teacher, smoked a joint every morning and went off to teach kids. Was always on to me about joining him in it all the time. He couldn't handle the fact I didn't need to get bombed out of my mind to have a good time, but he sure did. Same goes for the alcoholics I've known in my life, they somehow feel threatened by people who know how to enjoy a drink without getting drunk.
So why the dishonesty if you think what you're doing is okay? Tick the 'yes' box for drugs if you're a stoner and let all your prospective dates know about your little habit. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:07:46 PM | ok dustie...i am not judging at all...marijuana is illegal...plain and simple...you should not "partake"...unless medicinal circumstances give you the right...we would all love to use that as an excuse...you may be a fabulous mother but is that because you "partake"...your daughter would certainly agree that you are not a bad mother...she will accept everything you are because she needs and wants you.....she's 6...grow up... | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:50:53 PM | | I think it's better that you burn a little herb than drink alcohol. I haven't heard of someone beating or abusing their kids because they smoke herb. I have heard and know of drunks that beat and abuse their kids. The reasons for it's being illegal are well documented. Of course it's alright cigs and beer even advertise them. I think the guy that ragged you was only grasping at straws to make you feel bad about yourself because he couldn't handle the rejection. Smoke on Dustie smoke on | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:58:14 PM | Scott nice post. But thats the problem with all drugs. People think they can handle it. Pot istn' exactly a motivating thing. Also as citizens we cant' teach our kids to pick and choose what laws to follow. Its a bad example.
I look at peoples actions. They are breaking the law. I just dont get how this is a good thing for parents to do. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:36:11 PM | Well, your choice does not make you a bad parent; however, I think it's a "bad" choice and I don't agree with the use. Now, that's just my opinion and my personal choice which is zero tolerance (in my household and life). To each their own. I agree with medical marijuana use where it is better controlled. That's an entirely different conversation point.
I would add here that children become what is modeled for them as they grow up. The major influences of course, are their parent(s). It's illegal where I live which means if you use here, you're breaking the law....which I'd never consciously do for something like this.
If your use is for entertainment/make you feel good fuzzies, etc., then I'd recommend giving thought to doing other things with your child that give you those same feelings (only better.) Your child deserves a parent who is 100% there (without the spacy out influences of pot.) JMO> | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:37:33 AM | I posted way early in this thread, before the OP "left the building". I thought I would leave a postscript to this whole thing.
While many, including myself, were struck by the legal ramifications and what might happen should she be arrested and her daughter be thrown into the "system". Others seemed to fixate on the whole MJ/alcohol thing or the good/bad mother thing.
I understand the views on the pro MJ group, no matter what is said, no matter your view the laws rightly or wrongly are what they are. To leave to chance an encounter with a law enforcement entity is fool hardy. Some will let it slide, some won't, is it really in the child's best interest to leave it to random walk which one is knocking at your door on any given day?
As to the alcohol debate, impaired is impaired again neither MJ or alcohol are good alternatives when driving, cutting with sharp instruments or utensils, or any of the 20 different things we do in the normal course of existance daily. No doubt the effects of alcohol are cummlative so a greater impaired ability will result with it's use. As to the same effect with MJ, I don't know, personally I have seen altered behavior with both, so does it really matter. Yes there maybe a worse or violent behavior with alcohol but neither form of impaired judgement is good. Think this way, I have seen people impaired or drousy on simple cold medications, they should not drive cars with that, much less something stronger.
As to the judgements of good or bad parenting. It is a hard thing to judge. Some may indeed be better parents who smoke MJ than those totally sober or who abstain from everything, but then leave that child neglected in front of the TV for 10 hours a day. Your child is a gift to you and mankind. The things you do, things you teach, behaviors you demonstrate WILL have an effect on the long term behavior of that child. So some consideration should be thought threw before you do the things you do. Think this way, if your 6 or 7 year old rides in the car with you. You have a habit of being late, so you run some yellow lights, while Mr. Rogers said children never do this, who is your child going to emulate. Mr Rogers said that once, your behavior is demonstrated daily. Just some thoughts, Bob | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:48:33 PM | [bornagainslim...........so as a parent yourself, you're supporting and condoning a parent who breaks the law, puts herself at risk of being arrested, who wastes money on drugs that she could be using for something like her daughter's college education, who puts herself at risk of having her child taken away from her..a parent who puts herself at risk of being under the influence such that should an emergency present itself with her child, she might not be with it enough to react or she might be too afraid to call an ambulance because she's afraid of being busted? As a parent you're fine with all this]
Hmmm kinda hypocritical statement here, since your profile wutznot2love states you smoke occasionaly. Should you yourself not be putting that money into your kids education fund, or your grandkids.
That's the pot calling the kettle black as far as I am concerned. | |
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