| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:58:14 PM | Scott nice post. But thats the problem with all drugs. People think they can handle it. Pot istn' exactly a motivating thing. Also as citizens we cant' teach our kids to pick and choose what laws to follow. Its a bad example.
I look at peoples actions. They are breaking the law. I just dont get how this is a good thing for parents to do. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:36:11 PM | Well, your choice does not make you a bad parent; however, I think it's a "bad" choice and I don't agree with the use. Now, that's just my opinion and my personal choice which is zero tolerance (in my household and life). To each their own. I agree with medical marijuana use where it is better controlled. That's an entirely different conversation point.
I would add here that children become what is modeled for them as they grow up. The major influences of course, are their parent(s). It's illegal where I live which means if you use here, you're breaking the law....which I'd never consciously do for something like this.
If your use is for entertainment/make you feel good fuzzies, etc., then I'd recommend giving thought to doing other things with your child that give you those same feelings (only better.) Your child deserves a parent who is 100% there (without the spacy out influences of pot.) JMO> | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:37:33 AM | I posted way early in this thread, before the OP "left the building". I thought I would leave a postscript to this whole thing.
While many, including myself, were struck by the legal ramifications and what might happen should she be arrested and her daughter be thrown into the "system". Others seemed to fixate on the whole MJ/alcohol thing or the good/bad mother thing.
I understand the views on the pro MJ group, no matter what is said, no matter your view the laws rightly or wrongly are what they are. To leave to chance an encounter with a law enforcement entity is fool hardy. Some will let it slide, some won't, is it really in the child's best interest to leave it to random walk which one is knocking at your door on any given day?
As to the alcohol debate, impaired is impaired again neither MJ or alcohol are good alternatives when driving, cutting with sharp instruments or utensils, or any of the 20 different things we do in the normal course of existance daily. No doubt the effects of alcohol are cummlative so a greater impaired ability will result with it's use. As to the same effect with MJ, I don't know, personally I have seen altered behavior with both, so does it really matter. Yes there maybe a worse or violent behavior with alcohol but neither form of impaired judgement is good. Think this way, I have seen people impaired or drousy on simple cold medications, they should not drive cars with that, much less something stronger.
As to the judgements of good or bad parenting. It is a hard thing to judge. Some may indeed be better parents who smoke MJ than those totally sober or who abstain from everything, but then leave that child neglected in front of the TV for 10 hours a day. Your child is a gift to you and mankind. The things you do, things you teach, behaviors you demonstrate WILL have an effect on the long term behavior of that child. So some consideration should be thought threw before you do the things you do. Think this way, if your 6 or 7 year old rides in the car with you. You have a habit of being late, so you run some yellow lights, while Mr. Rogers said children never do this, who is your child going to emulate. Mr Rogers said that once, your behavior is demonstrated daily. Just some thoughts, Bob | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:48:33 PM | [bornagainslim...........so as a parent yourself, you're supporting and condoning a parent who breaks the law, puts herself at risk of being arrested, who wastes money on drugs that she could be using for something like her daughter's college education, who puts herself at risk of having her child taken away from her..a parent who puts herself at risk of being under the influence such that should an emergency present itself with her child, she might not be with it enough to react or she might be too afraid to call an ambulance because she's afraid of being busted? As a parent you're fine with all this]
Hmmm kinda hypocritical statement here, since your profile wutznot2love states you smoke occasionaly. Should you yourself not be putting that money into your kids education fund, or your grandkids.
That's the pot calling the kettle black as far as I am concerned. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:22:56 PM | | What I don't get is: if you believe you are a good mother, why do you worry what other people think? To me the use of recreational drugs is not acceptable, but, hey, if it is acceptable to you, don't worry about what other people have to say. Keep in mind: it is illegal, so you are breaking the law and you are even admitting it ( now, I don't see how this can be a good example in your daughter's eyes). | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:38:21 PM | My profile says I don't do drugs, and it is correct. My job is on the line if I did, due to random testing. Also, the legal consequences are self evident. So, to avoid problems, I don't do drugs, even though getting stoned on reefer would be the extent to which I would, and conservatively, at that.
But I sure would enjoy it if I could. I grew up in the 60's, and was lucky to have experienced some of the best aspects of that period without getting into trouble. Went to Woodstock (the "real" one, in '69); did the green acid and it didn't turn out to be rat poison after all. Enjoyed many counter-culture experiences, and then eventually grew up and became a law abiding citizen, even an LEO for a while. All things in moderation.
What I'm saying is that you have to abide by the rules of the culture you find yourself in, to get along. And parenting is one of those things where you have to make all kinds of sacrifices. Getting high in this society puts you at too much risk, legally and socially, which I think is too damned bad, but that's the way it is.
Tom | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:46:53 AM | | sorry , but you are giveing signals to your own child that its ok to take drugs, totaly wrong children build there veiws and whats write and whats wrong from there parents my parents think the same and the generation before us have morals so do your child a favour and stop you are a mum ! | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 3:44:53 AM | | The house may be clean, dinner may cooked, you may do 'mommy things' , love your daughter and miss her when she's gone, etc, etc, but that's how you justify using! IMHO you are an addict and by posting this thread you're 'defending' your addiction. Drugs are drugs are drugs! Using ANY substance to alter one's state of mind says loud and clear "I have a problem". I pray you seek some help. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:31:22 AM | I haven't read even the whole first page or last page of this thread, but already I'm disturbed by all the people who make out that smoking is wicked because it's illegal, "the law" being the preferred instrument of control now that religion is fading.
Can I remind everyone that it was once illegal to harbour Jews, and escaped slaves; a lot of people made the ultimate sacrifice to overturn these injustices. Closer to home, it was also illegal to manufacture, transport, or sell alcohol-based drinks; and didn't that work out great!
So I'd rather people didn't pretend that "the law" is some sort of absolute moral arbiter; laws are just bits of paper that can be, and often are, changed quite easily. Yesterday's crime is today's trend and tomorrow's social movement.
If you don't like the weed or its consumers, just say so. Don't spout the lawmakers' propaganda or hide behind laws; that's what control freaks do. If that's your only argument, you might find yourself out on a limb if your precious law should ever be changed.
DOG | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:19:27 AM |
I think it's better that you burn a little herb than drink alcohol. I haven't heard of someone beating or abusing their kids because they smoke herb
But plenty of instances of parents neglecting their responsibilities and endangering children when they're stoned or looking for a score. Try being in charge of a motor vehicle too when you're doped to the eyeballs.
Can I remind everyone that it was once illegal to harbour Jews, and escaped slaves; a lot of people made the ultimate sacrifice to overturn these injustices.
And your point? It was illegal to harbour Jews under the brutal Nazi regime, and slavery is universally recognized as evil and rightly condemned. People made the ultimate sacrifice because both these evils were blights on the whole of mankind and inherently wrong. Nobody has made the ultimate sacrifice in defence of a person's 'right' to use mind-altering drugs.
If these two posters truely felt the courage of their convictions they should at least be honest on their profiles. Poster one and two need to answer 'yes' to the 'do you use drugs' question instead of 'no' and 'prefer not to say'.
Laws are not just pieces of paper, they are the only things that save us from anarchy as a society and we can't just pick and choose the ones we obey. This is a woman who's responsible for kids we're talking about. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:22:14 AM | Do most other people really see this issue the way he does?
Don't want illegal drugs and drug users in my life or my kids' lives. So, I wouldn't be interested in even meeting somebody who uses them...and..."pot does count."
This guy on here just completely went off on me after I refused to meet up with him and told me what a terrible mother I must be...
But...it sounds as if he didn't have a problem with your parenting style or your pot use until AFTER you told him you didn't want to meet him. Sounds like he was just looking for something to say to make you feel badly. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:45:53 AM | I don't think it makes you a bad mom. If you took meds would it make you a bad mom? I have psychological conditions for which MJ helps [anxiety, depression, pathological liar-- for the purposes of making a good joke!]
Now being against antibiotics- oh, I would just hate to be your child's pediatrician! And thank goodness the law does intervene should her life be threatened by a very treatable condition.
However, I think if you use MJ moderately and in a very cautious and responsible way you should avoid arrest and losing your daughter. I have heard of situations tho when the parents denied meds the state assumed guardianship over the child [or am I hallucinating again?? damn talk radio.......wish I could keep it straight!]
He attacked cos you rejected him- Psych 101. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:14:48 PM | asyndeymale.
How can you and others ASSUME that someone uses drugs b/c they are open minded enough to read the post and see it for what it is.
You do know what ASSUME means don't you!!!
So many self rightous individuals..that live in glass houses.
Glad I am not one of them. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:39:31 PM | | Smoke stays around so if the smell is gone it is still around i lived in places where it is legal and hated it. I had a friend who smoked when she died I took her son as my own. I loved her as a sister and would never wish anything bad on her. Her son is a good man with a wonderful boy of his own and is living well. I do not think life outside the law is a good thing and do not want you to get hurt buying like my friend did. keep in mind the danger you put you child in if you are not one who grows your own and if you do grow it near your child. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:01:53 PM |
How can you and others ASSUME that someone uses drugs b/c they are open minded enough to read the post and see it for what it is.
How can you ASSUME I don't have an open mind because I believe the OP is not being a responsible mother because she uses 'recreational' drugs. I have known and been around plenty of people who've used all sorts of drugs and many believed not just marijuana should be legalized. A number of them couldn't function at all without some sort of stimulant in their system, didn't think they had a problem either, thank god they weren't in charge of kids. I preferred being around them when I could see them without the chemical haze getting in the way, they were much more interesting then. The same goes for the people I know who drink to excess, ever been cornered at a bar by a drunk?
My profile says exactly what I do, I don't smoke, drink socially and don't use drugs. There are plenty of postings on POF from people who don't consider smoking 'weed' using drugs and thus don't put it on their profiles. They are deluding themselves.
I don't live in a glass house, I am far from perfect, I was merely pointing out the irony of some of the defenders of the OP's drug use not availing themselves of the relevant option on their profiles.
My take on the post: The OP's boyfriend was pissed-off because she rejected him and then suddenly found issue with her 'recreational' drug use. The other thing I and other posters got out of the OP's post was she was being irresponsible by taking drugs because of the danger of losing her child because she was doing something illegal. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:15:18 PM |
If these two posters truely felt the courage of their convictions they should at least be honest on their profiles. Poster one and two need to answer 'yes' to the 'do you use drugs' question instead of 'no' and 'prefer not to say'.
If you care to look, you will see that 'yes' is not on the list of choices, and it's dishonest of you to instruct me to answer 'yes', even if that were possible, when you know nothing at all about my use of drugs. What's more, it is not dishonest to choose 'prefer not to say' when I actually prefer not to say, because that is the best answer.
Laws are not just pieces of paper
Ah, so you did get my point!
they are the only things that save us from anarchy
I think you're confused; 'anarchy' doesn't mean 'no rules', it means 'no rulers'. And the only things? The vast majority of people around the world subscribe to one religion or another; did you mean to crap all over their beliefs?
we can't just pick and choose the ones we obey
Really! So you've never hit anyone in anger, never jaywalked, never dropped a tram ticket or a cigarette butt in the street, never done a job for cash, never ever even once exceeded the posted speed limit... what a saint!  Can I suggest that, like nearly everyone, you don't even know the thousands of laws that would control your behaviour.
who's responsible for kids
That's right! Think of the kiddies! When religion and law start to look a bit tatty, tug at the heart strings!
DOG | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:54:13 PM |
Really! So you've never hit anyone in anger, never jaywalked, never dropped a tram ticket or a cigarette butt in the street, never done a job for cash, never ever even once exceeded the posted speed limit... what a saint
Never claimed to be a saint, however, I have never hit anyone in anger, never jaywalked, never dropped a tram ticket or a cigarette butt and never did a job for cash.
I have exceeded the posted speed limit and copped it sweet when I got pulled over for it.
I'm living in a 3rd-world country at the moment where the rule of law is lamentably lax, it's like the wild west and the only people who get 'justice' are the rich and influential. I very much appreciate the rule of law in Australia. In Australia they don't execute you for having drugs, over here they do.
I'm not a religious man so I can't comment on that, but I am a father who is concerned about the welfare of my kids and what they are exposed to and the people they are around. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:45:27 PM | My opinion, for what it's worth. If what you do on your personal time falls under the category of illegal no matter what your opinion, you are putting your child at risk.
Ask yourself, is it worth it? If you are arrested what will the consequences be for your child? Should we teach our kids to only obey the laws they like? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:01:09 AM |
the only people who get 'justice' are the rich and influential.
Ah yes, the Golden Rule. I trust you're aware that this also applies in Australia (if not everywhere) .
I very much appreciate the rule of law in Australia.
Yes, I agree that overall, Australian legal systems look pretty good by comparison (not that I'm an expert). Just to stay on topic, I'll mention SA and the ACT, where possession of small amounts of marihuana is not a crime but a misdemeanour, similar to a parking ticket. So even in a single country, there are varying degrees of 'illegal'. | |
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