| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:46:16 PM | she is only breaking the law if she gets caught.
What the heck are you thinking. She is breaking the law weather she gets caught or not. But you still have to moral ramifications of the fact that she is doing drugs and hopefully is teaching her daughter that drugs are bad. One day her daughter will be confused of why mommy is doing bad drugs, or mommy is going to teach daughter that drugs are good and should be legal but the man is keeping her down. Then she surely would be a bad mother.
I guess she plays in the poison ivy while you toke on your joint and laugh at her? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:47:33 PM |
No, I don't sit in a closet with her and blow it in her face... believe it or not :)
Doesn't matter. I think if you do it while she's in your care, be it in the same room, in the same house, or you toking up on the porch while she's watching TV inside, then you are a bad mother. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:55:52 PM | | I believe that anyone drinking or taking drugs when solely looking after a child is irreponsible. As for being some kind of acitivist that is your choice but legal or otherwise I think it should be done when your not looking after a child...period | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:58:00 PM | Op, take some of these comments with a grain of salt. The judgmental types aren't the ones likely to rescue a kid from a heroin addicted parent, they just like to wag fingers so they feel better about themselves. You're smart enough to figure it out and make the right decisions.
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:00:39 PM | I don't smoke either and have nothing against anyone who does....however, in every state it is still illegal ....so the message to your daughter is: even though it's illegal I think it shouldn't be, therefore it's ok to smoke.
I would just be very careful that your daughter doesn't know about it for now.
I'm sure you'll find a fish who is a little more "tolerable".
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:06:25 PM | | ok now that its posted that u smoke mj you better hope that CPI/Children and Welfare dont come a knockin.....why do it and put yourself in a position to lose the most important person in your life???? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:07:14 PM |
I would just be very careful that your daughter doesn't know about it for now.
She also needs to be careful that her daughter's school, law enforcement, and children's services doesn't find out, or she could end up losing her daughter. I guess if getting high is more important than running the risk of losing your child altogether, then more power to you. But I wouldn't take that risk with my own child.
she is only breaking the law if she gets caught.
Sure. That's like saying it's only rape if the woman tells someone that you raped her. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:09:38 PM | I read this thread with interest as I still have a few friends that still partake after all these years. As a side note, none of them married or had children.
My teenage years were in the mid too late seventies and most everyone I grew up with smoked pot as regular recreation. Now, while I don't smoke anything these days, and have not for damn near 30 years, I think people have the right to make choices for "themselves" as long as they understand the consequences of their actions.
So, if its worth risking the legal ramifications that may occur one day, or should something change with the relationship with your ex-husband and he decides he wants full custody and knows you smoke on a regular basis, he will be able to use this against you. I hope you see where I'm going with this, you are setting yourself up for a potential problem.
If you isolate your habit (and that's what it is, in my humble opinion) from your daughter and never smoke around her, that helps, but the truth is your bias will no doubt, trickle down too her and before you know it she may be puffing with you. Now, ask yourself....is that a good mom? Not saying that will be your scenario, but what if it is? Could you live with that?
I don't think you are a bad person or a bad mom. I think you are young and need to re-evaluate your priorities and ask yourself what is in your young daughter's best interest. If your daughter were not in the picture, I would say you are free to chose what you do with yourself, as long as your actions only affect you. Long term studies on pot are now available for anyone who cares to read the data.....should be easy to find on the internet. Perhaps, a good read on the long term effects of cannibis will lend some insight on this drug and help you sort it out. Sorry to be long winded about this, I think it is a far more layered subject than the initial premise stated in the subject line.
Anyway, just my two cents worth..... | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:15:25 PM | I just want to know, when you buy this stuff are you buying it from a child to support his/her habit or a junkie to buy his /her next fix of meth. I wonder if you even see the bigger picture.JMO | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:26:42 PM | | *dustie - As long as you don't have it available for everyone that stops over and your daughter is not in the home then do whatever but if she is anywhere in the house you would be a "bad mother"! My girlfriend feels the way you do and always had it out on the table and when her 6 and 10year old begain to smoke it also someone called the authorities and she lost her children. Remember is is NOT legalized yet! Does her father or anyone in your or his family know about your "habit"? If so I would be awfully careful and be looking over your shoulder - ya just never know. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:34:42 PM | its illegal. sooner or later your daughter will be old enough to understand...and i don't think this is the type of example you want to set.
you can judge our government, say that alcohol is the same, blah blah blah. Alcohol is not illegal, dope is. | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:37:36 PM | | artzytype - I was a mother in the late 60's and surprisingly so a lot of my friends who did smoke stopped as soon as their children were born.. The not so funny part though was in those days you drank and smoked cigarettes while you were pregnant and that was O.K. - go figure. | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:43:11 PM | i can't say you're a bad mother or a good mother, i have no idea.
you hang out with drug dealers though. that makes you a kinda stupid mother.
do they know where you live? do they know you're real full name? do you meet them to buy drugs alone, do you bring your daughter?
maybe it's just me, but i try to avoid criminals. especially if i had kids | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:54:40 PM | I am gonna play devils advocate here for a minute::
To each their own but since you are a single mother is advertising that you smoke MJ exactly the smartest move in the world? What if your local Child Services got wind of it? What if they decided to make you randomly p!ss in a cup to see if you are *sober* or a user and THEN remove your child from your home?
That child will NOT go to its' biological daddy anytime soon either, that child will be put into the foster care system........until the courts decide "Oh yea the child needs to be with daddy while mommy gets *sober*"
In most places the courts have their damned dockets full -- especially in family law. It'd be FOREVER before you could even get back in court to fight for your kiddos. It's really not something you want to be faced with is it?
I've seen this happen time AND time again. I will say that I WENT to Law school to become a family law attorney and it's stuff like this that I couldn't stomach dealing with everyday. I couldn't BE a part of the reason why a child was chucked into the foster system over a faux paus a parent might have made. I couldn't do it.
With that said, I am a single mom of 3..... I think about my KIDS before I even do anything else and how will my actions affect THEM. Everything in life I have done from the day I got handed the MOMMY CARD -- I have done everything possible to keep them and stayed out of situations that would be potentially disasterous for myself and my children.
IF someone thinks you are a bad mommy for smoking MJ -- I would say....... whatever she does is her business but when the day comes that her children are ripped away from her as a result...........not my problem, she made her bed and made the choices she made -- now she must lie in it.
I know that was very harsh but........ coming from a devils advocate/mommy/legal standpoint........ eh..... the ramifications are not too friendly on your side if you get my drift.
Just so you know -- I am all for the legalization of MJ once and for all and get it done and over with. | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:55:28 PM | oh boy - i cant believe the people that keep justifying that is ok to smoke an illegal substance?! WTF
and why are you so down on this guy who wouldn't go out with you?! it is his preference that he doesn't like dope smokers - accept it and move on.
you bang on about what a great mother you are (isn't self recommendation just the best) yet you chose to smoke marijuana which you actually obtained illegally. how is that being a good mother?
you know one day all this will catch up on you, if not already started. paranoid and delusional come to mind. get help now while you can, you child deserves more than to have a mother addicted to drugs. and stop thinking trying to justify it all with your good deeds as a mother, if you were that good you wouldn't be a bong head. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:00:03 PM | At this point in this discussion, I think it is apparent what the majority feel. Does this mean that you will change your attitudes or behaviour? Need I even ask this question? Sometimes people's thought processes form faulty syllogisms when discussing emotionally laden topics.
Not drinking alcohol is good for you.
Smoking marijuana is not drinking alcohol.
Therefore smoking marijuana is good for you.
It is also impossible to cite opposing references to someone who has an emotional attachment to an issue. However the following is an excerpt from The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) as stated in a May 5, 2006 report by Paul Armentano, titled Cannabis Smoke and Cancer: Assessing the Risk:
Cannabis smoke -- unlike tobacco smoke -- has not been definitely linked to cancer in humans, including those cancers associated with tobacco use. However, certain cellular abnormalities in the lungs have been identified more frequently in long-term smokers of cannabis compared to non-smokers.
Chronic exposure to cannabis smoke has also been associated with the development of pre-cancerous changes in bronchial and epithelium cells in similar rates to tobacco smokers. Cellular abnormalities were most present in individuals who smoked both tobacco and marijuana, implying that cannabis and tobacco smoke may have an additive adverse effect on airway tissue.[...]
Do you consider a person who smokes cigarettes a bad mother? What is your opinion of a mother who smokes inside the house. Marijuana cigarettes contain higher concentrations of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (eg benzopyrene). Ironically by drinking non-pasteurized milk and smoking cigarettes, you are engaging in riskier behaviour than women whom you consider who lead a less healthy lifestyle - drinking 2% milk and having an occasional glass of red wine. | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:12:43 PM |
Your profile says you partake "often, more than 3 times a week" so you're obviously using it quite a lot. Your profile also says "complicated" in reference to your job or work - I have no idea what that is supposed to mean, but the consequences of continued usage could and does sometimes result in the loss of one's job after a drug test, which would be pretty irresponsible and a sign of a bad parent also.
So, my answer is a definite "maybe" and due only to the legalities (not to any moralistic opinion of pot itself), in my opinion you're taking some pretty huge risks as a single mom. I agree.
It's illegal, that should be the end of it.
And why does the subject line say "Alternative Lifestyles"? Smoking pot isn't an "alternative lifestyle". It's a bad habit or an addiction. WTF! Why is this mother trying to justify her immoral actions?  | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:18:16 PM | Based on how you described your relationship, I would not say you are a bad mother.
However, that being said, there is one saying that sticks in my mind......All things are lawful that are considered lawful, but not all things are beneficial. If it is unlawful, then no discussion or justification required. Regardless how you may feel and the things you do to make up for your choice, do the right thing, put your children before yourself.
That is all I have to say regarding that. | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:24:14 PM |
I was a mother in the late 60's and surprisingly so a lot of my friends who did smoke stopped as soon as their children were born.. The not so funny part though was in those days you drank and smoked cigarettes while you were pregnant and that was O.K. - go figure.
With alcohol and cigarettes, the affects are usually immediately apparent with the offspring (reduced birth weight up to fetal alcohol syndrome). MJ seems to affect mitochondrial DNA. This means any deleterious affects will follow female offspring. I cannot say anything will happen but my personal opinion is "rather safe than sorry". | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:30:19 PM |
think about my KIDS before I even do anything else and how will my actions affect THEM. Everything in life I have done from the day I got handed the MOMMY CARD -- I have done everything possible to keep them and stayed out of situations that would be potentially disasterous for myself and my children.
Touche!!
In my opinion, a bad mother is someone who does not provide the basic necessary food, clothes and shelter for her children. Mental and physical abuse indicate a bad mother. Someone that puts her children in dangerous or uncomfortable situations for the sake of her comfort or happiness...etc.
Bad mother- not neccesarily
Irresp0nsible mother -for sure | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:41:59 PM | | well she never said she didn't smoke around her child, which i suspect she does. I know people who did when they were younger, but stopped when they had children. Ya the whole illegal aspect doesn't help and possbility of getting sent to jail just to get your jollies and abandoning your child screams irresponsibility and selfishness. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:47:16 PM | | You don't hurt your daughter or neglect her. You smoke a little weed...so what! America is definitely becoming more 4/20 friendly, and everyone just needs to accept it. If someone doesn't like it then that's their deal, let them waste their time. And you said there's a time and a place for it, so go ahead and do you thing! You sound like a great mom. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:52:09 PM | | And by the way since there's all this legal talk, although I've definitley been caught up more than a few times and let go with a simple lecture because most cops won't waste their time with the paper work, but to be on the safe side...just got a medical card I'm sure you know how easy it is :) | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:58:31 PM | Not only is pot illegal, but it is a psychotropic drug and permanently affects brain function. Please Google 'marijuana' and 'schizophrenia' and see how many studies have linked the use of it to the development of mental illnesses.
Clearly you are concerned about how your use of the drug may affect your daughter. Why not simply quit? Is it that important to you to keep smoking dope even though there may be adverse consequences? I can't see why this is something you even need to consider.
Excerpt of recent Washington Post article:
WHITE HOUSE DRUG REPORT
Teen Marijuana Use Linked to Later Illness
Self-Medication, Especially for Depression, Raises Risk of Mental Problems, Study Says
By Lori Aratani
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, May 9, 2008; Page B04
Teenagers who smoke marijuana put themselves at risk for future mental illness and higher rates of depression, according to a report to be released today by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy.
Although fewer teens overall are smoking marijuana, the report said, there is growing concern that those who do, particularly those who view the drug as a way to cope with depression, do not understand its consequences. It also is not clear whether their parents, who might have indulged when they were younger, understand the risks, experts say.
The report, whose release coincides with the start of Mental Health Awareness Month, said studies show links between marijuana use and risk of mental illness later in life, and that use could increase the risk by as much as 40 percent.
Teenage girls who smoke marijuana are particularly at risk, the report said. It found that teen girls who smoke marijuana daily are more likely to develop depression than those who do not.
The report also found that teenagers who smoke marijuana at least once a month are three times more likely to have suicidal thoughts than non-users. It said that even though the percentage of teens who are depressed is equal to the percentage of adults who say they are depressed, teenagers are more likely to seek solace in marijuana or other illicit drugs. | |
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