| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:19:47 PM | Okay... Just to clear things up a bit more... I don't even smoke cigarettes in the house and no, I would never smoke around my daughter... I'm a criminal justice student and unlike some of you seem to think, I'm not a stupid person. I do think our government is stepping its bounds with certain things .
I stand up for what I think is right and speak out against what I feel is wrong.
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:37:27 PM |
I stand up for what I think is right Do you think it's right to purchase substances that are sold by crime syndicates? That's where your disposable income goes when you buy hash, unless you know the source is something homegrown by your drug dealer and you know that for sure. More often than not you don't know what's in your stash, and who is profitting from the income you disposed. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:42:00 PM |  holy sweet mother of god some of you make it sound likes she's smacking crack and can't pay her bills.
OP you seem like a level headed young lady to me. And no I don't think you should be burned at the stake for indulging when you feel it's appropriate. It's clear this guy had some issues and is now showing his true colors. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:47:35 PM | I don't think it matters that you are pro-legalization....RIGHT NOW, it IS ILLEGAL.
You are sending negative messages to your daughter regarding risks, consequences, laws, etc....
When she comes home from school and says, "I was suspended from school for smoking pot" are you going to pat her on the back and fight the school since you are pro-legalization?! | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:51:01 PM | Great Shake! You got a medical mj card because...
it is so easy?
This sets the purpose of medical status way back with
the authorities(confirms their assumptions that this happens)
and does a huge disservice to the people who have extreme
illnesses who really need it.
One look at your 4/20 every day and "Bake" under occupation profile
makes me roll in my activist grave! And I'm not even in it yet!
Marijuana often kills motivation and your profile is absolute testament to that! | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:55:14 PM | OP - perhaps all that dope smoking has affected your judgement. Here you are, on a very public dating site -- complete with your picture, fully disclosing that you're a Mother who has care of your daughter 6 days/week -- and you knowingly break the law by obviously purchasing and smoking weed. Not too sharp.
Your profile indicates you do drugs greater than 3 x/ week. Nice.
So do you have a dealer? I'm assuming you do - or do you grow it yourself?
Do you smoke up when your little girl is asleep in bed? So what would happen if became very sick or needed emergency medical care in the evening and you were too stoned to get it for her? Would you avoid taking her to the hospital because you were too wasted -- or you were afraid of getting "busted" by EMS or hospital staff who'd see your glassy, bloodshot eyes (they're not stupid; they'd know you were on something)? Are you willing to take such a risk - your daughter's health and welfare?
What if you got busted for buying? For possession? How good of a Mommy do you think you'd be if you got busted and your child was taken away from you?
Being a "good parent" means being responsible and making good choices; in other words, it means not making bad choices (um, like to break the law) that could directly impact the welfare and wellbeing and security of one's child. You're consciously doing all this -- so no, I'm sorry -- you're not a good Mom.
And God only knows *why* you mentioned that your daughter isn't allergic to Poison Ivy and that you don't stop her from getting into it. Were you baked when you wrote that? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:01:19 PM | Are you a bad mother? I cannot judge that--but you are a STUPID mother. (I am a mother, and did it alone and divorced a number of years).
Here is the thing, bottom line: once you become a mother, your social life, your desires, your fetishes, your addictions, have to take SECOND PLACE to the best interest of your child. That helpless innocent child needs to be your number one priority.
You are playing a very dangerous game. Marijauna is probably a very innocuous drug, as drugs go, but it is illegal. You get caught, you go to jail--you lose custody of your child. And probably your job and any licenses or professional credentials you may hold. You will have a record--and find it hard to get employment. Your name will get in the paper, not in a good way.
You need to choose your child if you want to keep it. Alreaady there are probably people in your environment who would love to turn you in. The child's father, the in-laws, a disgruntled coworker, a jealous girlfriend, a jilted boyfriend. Somebody is going to turn you in sooner or later.
Wise up, and straighten up. That child is precious and does not need its life further disrupted by the upheaval of illicit drugs.
I know you must love your child. Don't mess up its life, and yours. Don't spend that lovely short childhood in a haze of hallucinogenic smoke. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:09:38 PM | I find it amussing that this guy didn't decide to bash you for being a bad mother, until you wouldn't date him.
Whether you believe marijuana should be legal, or not; or whether or not you believe it's better or worse than alcohol; the one thing that is a fact is: marijuanna is currently illegal.
By willingly partaking in the use of it, you are chosing to partake in a criminal activity, and expose your daughter to a criminal activity.
Isn't it better to teach a child to respect the laws of your country, even if you don't agree with every one of them?
Your profile stakes you use drugs at least 3 times a week? When you're a single mother, shouldn't the responsibilities of being a parent take priority over your desire to live a stoner lifestyle???
Also, have you ever considered the consequences of what may happen to you, as a single parent, if you were caught in the possession of drugs?
She's not allergic to posion ivy and I've never tried to keep her out of it. Huh?
You assume that since your daughter's not allergic to poison ivy, you must be a good mother??? Maybe you've smoked a little too much.
I doubt that whether or not a child is allergic poison ivy, should play any part in determining whether or not a person is a good parent.
But I do think that the parent admitting to smoking dope, at least three days a week, plays a huge part in determining whether or not they're a good parent. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:18:08 PM | | Aside from the risk of getting caught and the role modeling for her as she gets older, there is always the risk that an emergency might come up with your daughter while you are high, and your judgment may be impaired. I hope at very least you are not doing this alone in the house with her. As far as the "bad" mother label, you are probably a better mother than many, so I think the label is a moot point. Too many parents are more concerned with appearing to be a good parent than to just consider what is best for the child. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:30:54 PM | I won't judge you on being a bad mother, but irresponsible yes. I have my own opinions on pot, agree it should be legalized and is no worse then alcohol. However I don't use either one. It's been repeatedly stated throughout. It's still illegal and if you were arrested what would happen to your babygirl. Is it worth risking losing her. Doesn't matter if you do it in front of her or not, whether your a student/doctor/welfare mama whatever - you are putting her at risk by risking incarceration. Standing up for what you believe in is a very good thing, but not when it risks someone else. Also as stated above, what if there was a life/death emergency with her and you were not able to react quickly enough to save her life.
There are many ways to be an active advocate for your cause without putting you or your daughter at risk. Work with your legislation, get petitions going - whatever. PS I think legalized pot should mainly be for medicinal purposes, not just getting loaded but that's my opinion. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:48:31 PM | Dustie, very cool for getting out and getting an education.
I'm a legal studies/paralegal student... I also advocate medical marijuana, worked in the medical field for many years, and was permanently injured on the job.
As for those that think doing "legal drgs" as something better, perhaps GOOGLING oxycotin, and the issues and problems that are caused with that drug. People also like to snort the stuff, which mind you I can't even imagine, but then again I can't imagine snorting any substance....
As for the dill weed that got bent because you wouldn't meet him, his only deep personal attack could be saying something against you as a mum, that works every time for most women.
Your daughter is going to appreciate having a mum that is a stand up person, and has ideals that she's willing to fight for. So many people have demonized MJ, and are so pot illiterate it isn't even funny. They all love to bring up these odd ball studies that they located by googling, and don't have a clue as to how VALID the research was which always is enough for gut busting laughter...
Life is a calculated risk, and for those that are having fun pointing the figure I have marvel how they have no problem throwing stones in their own glass houses, thinking they are so freaking holy.
Shug if you believe in something the whole world doesn't have to agree, the only person it matters to is YOU and YOUR family... Your 6 yr old will grow up, and be glad to have a mum that isn't some narrow minded neurotic, that thinks all her secrets are hidden from public view.
I was completely MJ illiterate until I was 36, my oldest laughed at how ignorant I was about it. AND yes at 18 she tried it, just like she tried alcohol... However she also had a mum that was a safety freak, so behaving unsafely like driving was NOT something she has seen fit to do.
Don't worry about what a bunch of opinionated forum asses have to say, stand up for things that matter to you....
And for those who are acting like you are going to the seediest side of town... OH PLEASE, you would be surprised at the upstanding people that grow the stuff... Having a medical card makes the access to it differently, but still in the days of not doing it, I did know a lot of people who did, and they weren't trolling the bad side of town for it...
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:55:05 PM | ^^^^^You make a lot of assumptions. One doesn't have to automatically be "MJ Illiterate" to know that at this point in time it's ILLEGAL -- and that a parent who openly (and publicly; on a freaking #1 dating site, complete with her picture for God's sake) admits to using (and obviously buying, possessing) an ILLEGAL substance is thereby putting herself at risk of being arrested and losing custody of her child. That's just fine with you?
I personally don't care if someone wants to spend all their free time smoking dope, whatever floats your boat............but when you're a parent you have to put your child FIRST - particularly when committing acts that are clearly known to be illegal could put you at risk of being arrested and having CPS take away your child, that is insane.
This isn't about a bunch of prudes who are "freaked out about marijuana" - this is a lot about people who see a so-called parent making selfish and dangerous choices that could very well directly and negatively impact her child. What part of that don't YOU get? And you're a MOTHER yourself? And you don't get this? How sad.
So you think it's fine for a parent to knowingly break the law but try to justify it?
You think it's okay for a parent to conduct their life such that they risk being arrested and going to jail?
You think it's just fine for a parent to get "high" while their child is under their roof - and put themself in a situation where, should an emergency arise and their child needs EMS/prompt medical attention, that that parent might not have the presence of mind to react or get that help?
You think it's being a good parent to get on a freaking public dating site and announce to the millions who read (and could potentially recognize her) that she's a pot smoker? How stupid is that? Who's to say that law enforcement doesn't read these forums? Or someone in her state who works for CPS?
My god. I can't believe you're really a Mother and you're supporting this. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:04:12 PM | First of all I'm very glad to hear that your daughter is conscious. From your description it sounds like she's also very conscientious.
Do most other people really see this issue the way he does?
Nobody sees the issue the way he does. This guy had a much higher opinion of you while he was trying to set up a date but now that you've rejected him you're a bad mother. Some people don't know how to handle the word no. He sees this issue as a means to lash back at you, not as a genuine ethical concern. Clearly you made the right choice in refusing to meet him and should follow through on that logic by rejecting his comments.
That being said:
- Being pro-legalization of marijuana: perfectly acceptable
- Being vocal about the legalization of marijuana: also acceptable
- Smoking marijuana: fine if you accept the consequences of getting caught
- Getting caught, getting arrested and explaining to your daughter why you're going to jail: this is where you lose my support. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:05:56 PM | as an "actualized" adult I see little reason to do any drug other than for medical purposes. if you have an ailment and are self-prescribing I say it's fine.
now as far as being a bad mother, there is no link between doing a drug RESPONSIBLY whether it's for recreational or for medical reasons and proper parenting.
If you know the answer very well and are certain you are not delusional then try hard to not let others pull you down in their ill-reasoned words. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:08:10 PM | | ^^^^Actualized --- so what tune would you be singing if she were to get busted for her illegal habit and she ends up in jail, and losing custody of her child.............would you be patting her on the back then? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:10:39 PM | post112:
I also advocate medical marijuana nexthyme, I think medical marijuana is a seperate arguement, which really has no bearing on the OP of this thread
I saw nothing in the OP's posts to indicate to me that she was refering to medical marijuana. She just seems to be a young woman who prefers to sit around and get stoned while proudly telling everyone she thinks she's a good parent.
If she had some medical issue, where marijuana may have some effect on her condition, it may be worth considering.
I don't believe she has any such condition. She's just deciding to smoke dope regularilly, rather than place her responsibilities as a parent ahead of her desire to get stoned. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:21:28 PM |
nexthyme:
As for those that think doing "legal drugs" as something better, perhaps GOOGLING oxycotin, and the issues and problems that are caused with that drug.
So many people have demonized MJ, and are so pot illiterate it isn't even funny. They all love to bring up these odd ball studies that they located by googling, and don't have a clue as to how VALID the research was which always is enough for gut busting laughter...
I suppose you really don't see how damn dumb those two statements were together in the same post, do you?  | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:35:00 PM | | As long as she's not in the same room, or exposed to it (second hand smoke or some fassion like that), I really don't see the problem. What I do see the problem with is the fact that it's still iligal- though it may be legalized one day, that's still no excuse to teach her it's ok while she's young. She needs to learn boundaries and rules when she's young so hopefully she can do the right things when she's older. Now I know rules and laws are broken every day, but the point behind that is don't get caught doing something you're not supposed to do. It makes it to where hopefully dangerous stuff don't get done carelessly. That's all I'm seeing a problem with right now. Now is when she's learning the world. You don't want her to grow up imersed in the drug world do you? I know I wouldn't want my child to. But that's just me. Now in addition to pot, do you do any other drugs like pain pills or LSD or anything that's known to have long term effects? Those I can see a problem with. I choose not to do pot because I don't like the empty listless almost depressed feeling I got with it. I believe that it should be personal choice though, like alcohol or cigarettes. Legal, but with certain restrictions. In any case I don't think marijuana use it's self is bad for a parent- long as the child's not being brought into it. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:43:53 PM |
Bottom line: Buying, having and smoking pot is illegal. Whether or not it SHOULD be illegal is a different matter. I have friends who smoke it. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.
Bad mother? Nope. Slightly irresponsible? Yep. Regardless of how careful you are, is it really worth doing something where there is even the slightest chance of you getting arrested if you are caught?
Agreed 100+!  | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:46:22 PM | Dustie,
You are not a bad mother. Bad mother's neglect their children, do not put their children ahead of their own needs/wants/desires.
I smoke MJ and have for years, I raised two children as a single parent after my divorce to be very good upstanding productive members of society. It is no different to me then those that go home and have a few glasses of wine or beer. The only difference is what we choose is illegal.
If your not doing it around your daughter, and not carrying it around her, then their is NO issue, but of course there will be those that will say there is. Ignore them and trust your instincts.
You sound very honest/forthright and educated. Keep up the good work.
Icey | |
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| Alternative lifestyles
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:48:09 PM | Holly Crap People, You either are so nieve or ignorant to Pot, even a Surgeon has a piss poor comment. For one, Pot is not a mind altering Drug and it has not been proven, half the perscription you take are worse . This is BC where 70% smoke it. Don't listen to anyone but yourself, this world is fill with people that are not satified with their own lives and have to get involed in others to satify themselves. P.S. Don't even get me going on this cause half the critics are doing things worse then this.
Cheers | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:51:47 PM | [- Getting caught, getting arrested and explaining to your daughter why you're going to jail: this is where you lose my support. ]
I have never heard of someone being sent to jail for posession.( not any time recently) Have others?? And if so what area of the country?
There are consequences, but there are many places where it is not as extreme as many here have made it sound.
I really doubt that you are putting yourself at risk by saying you smoke ganja, even publically. The peaceful small time user is not the priority of the police. Speakers promoting the legalization of marijuana are not hauled off to jail for talking about what they do.
But as a single mother I think you might be better off being a little careful about being public about these things. We are obviously still in the dark ages where judgement is rampant. I think letting your daughter watch certain popular tv shows is a much worse crime .
I applaude your courage for standing up for what you believe in, but its got to be hard to be the object of so much criticism.
Be strong, and continue taking great care of yourself and your daughter. | |
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| So whats Your Story?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:53:28 PM | Hey Becarefull, Theres not a person I haven't been able to take their life apart to find out how screwed up they are or what they have done. Criminal Syndicate,lol You mean the Government and where did "Hash" come from, kinda gave your past away there. The Government always profits from this, why do you think they do nothing. Save your breath and comments and look at your own life.
Cheers | |
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