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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 10:58:13 AM |
But again, that's not the issue. The issue is, that she admits "partaking" "> 3 times a week" while being the sole/primary caregiver for her six year old child 6 days a week. That leaves very little doubt but that she "partakes" while her child is with her and she's the only parent/caregiver there. You say a misdemeanor is "no big deal." Well, how about this - she's said that the child's father doesn't smoke or drink, and is highly against it. She "has a good relationship with the father" - for now. But if that father decides to go to court and attempt to get sole custody of the child, and brings in her own statements that she "partakes" of illegal drugs on a regular basis - more than 3x per week - while caring for the child; what do you think are the odds that the judge will allow her to retain custody, vs the non-smoking, non-drinking, non-illegal drug user father? I think if you're honest, you know the likely answer to that question. THAT is the issue here, not whether she stands up and lobbies against a law she feels is unjust.
What if it's only 3 times a week? I know people who drink 3 times a week in front of their kids. Legal or not, drinking that much in front of kids isn't healthy. If she's smoking pot in front of her kid, then no, she's not being very responsible. If she's smoking after her kid goes to bed, I don't see what the issue is. N00b pot smokers most likely couldn't handle an emergency while high, but an experienced pot smoker most likely could. If she's using good judgment about her smoking and knowing what her limits are, then an emergency is likely a non-issue.
She's probably taking a risk seeing as how the father doesn't approve of it. However, only she knows what he would and wouldn't do about it. Maybe he knows she's a really good mother so he lets the pot issue slide. He would have to prove that she's smoking pot, and I'd imagine that if she knows she'll be going to court for that, she'll lay off the weed for the drug test. If not, then she'll have to face the consequences. We could "what if" all day long, but THAT wasn't the question either.
My post about that other stuff was replying to other off topic posts. This thread is on watch now, so I'm not going to answer any of that. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:22:08 AM | LOL! 
... Okay, I come from a family where neither of my parents drink or do drugs. I have 4 sisters and a brother and none of them have every done any type of illegal substance... My daughter is NOT going to grow up to be a drug dealer because she has an amazing family (including myself) who won't accept that and will influence/help her become more... anyway, she's already decided to do the astronaut thing.
thanks again for ALL the responses
:) | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:28:59 AM | | Ofcourse you are not a bad mother, nor a bad person. Im sure as adults we all have formed habits that would not be considered "Good" by society - **** society and all of the ignorance that lies within it. This is your life and your world that you are creating for yourself and family. What you do to relax is your business and so long as you do not give your daughter the impression that smoking pot will have no long term affect then she will be fine. I have smoked regularly for 17 years. Although the clarity of my mind would be alot sharper if I did not part take, I dont think Ive ruined my life. When I have children, I will not encourage them to smoke, but I will not hide it nor SCARE them out of it. Evoking fear in children to keep them away from things is WRONG. My parents smoked on and off and grandparents smoked also. Now that they are older, they quit because of health reasons but IM FINE ! Your daughter may experience a time when its offered to her, so please...at least be informative, do not hide it- do not encourage it- do not engage in it with her. Teach her that what she chooses to do with her life will be something she can decide when she is of the appropiate and/ or responsible age. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:46:05 AM | Op I wish you and your child well. As a caring mum Im sure you will research the concerns some people including myself have raised. I know people who are using weed with no problems will dismiss those points raised, but for me, if just one pot user, reading this thread, who has started to become distressed and not yet linked this distress with the use of weed, perks their ears up and seeks help then great.....job done
Ps... to the OP I thought you remained very dignified and indefensive (if thats a word!) all through this thread, which is more than I can say for some people lol.
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:53:37 AM | I can't believe what I am reading here . New studies show that smoking pot does have long term effects on you. For one......it shrinks your brain cells.
Also...........for those that think you can still be and act responsible while smoking it....you can't.
I don't take any drugs now. But there was a time when I use to smoke pot. Maybe the stuff I smoked was better........but after a few joints in NO WAY could you handle an emergency of any kind. I don't care if you do it in front of your kids or not........you are setting a bad example for your kids.
Heck, why do you think companies to drug screening before and after your are hired? You smoke that stuff and come in to my business and try to run a press...you could lose your hand. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:59:58 AM |
OP:
thanks again for ALL the responses
You're welcome. It would be interesting to hear your responses and thoughts about what's been posted about the chances you're taking with regards to:
* potentially being arrested
* potentially losing a job (or a career - criminal justice?)
* potentially losing custody of your daughter
Is "partaking" of an illegal substance SO important to you that its worth risking all of the above? The fact that you come back and say "thanks for all the responses" but don't appear willing to address the issues that have been raised tends to make it look like you know its an argument that you can't make rationally.
So, what say you? Is partaking more important than your future career, more important than custody of your daughter? Because to greater or lesser degree, you appear willing to put both at risk for the privilege of being stoned 3 or more times a week. That's an interesting statement on priorities in your life, in my humble opinion. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:02:42 PM | Anyone have a response to my inquisition regarding the prescription and the effects of drugs that are prescribed to children as young as TWO years old for ADD and ADHD, yet this is LEGAL! I think its rather poor parenting and ignorance to subject your child to such drugs as Ritalin at such a young age.. I bring this up because the issue of illegality keeps being raised but why don't you raise your eyebrows to the drugs that are LEGAL that are much more dangerous than pot.
6 millions children are using such drugs in the U.S. Acceptable yes. FDA approved yes. Would you put your child at such a young age at heart risk? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:05:20 PM | | ^^^^^^ I wouldn't expect to see any responses to that, as it has absolutely nothing to do with the original question & thread topic, and the moderator has made it clear that forays into other topics/subjects should be avoided. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:08:27 PM | Dustie:
As long as you hold up to your responsibilities, there's nothing wrong with you "toking the weed." 
Look how many parents drink to excess or are fill blown alcoholics, & that's legal. I'm sure you'd agree to some of this that they should ban alcohol & legalize pot. As long as the liquor industry helps keep weed illegal, we'll still have ignorance towards this subject.
I salute you for your stance & for being a good parent. It's better to be alone with your head held high & with your uncompromised set of ethics than to be with some closed minded alcoholic redneck that hasn't a clue on the issue. 
Continue to enjoy life & I bet your kid(s) a pleasure. All the Best.
Mack
(Been toking for 40 years & I'm responsible)
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:09:22 PM | You seem like an amazing, responsible mother who cares for her daughter and her welfare very deeply and also one who obviously spends a great deal of quality time with her.
As for smoking weed, I really don't see that it makes you irresponsible other than legalities. I smoke weed too though my children are now adults but it was my children who smoked weed before me. My son still smokes it but my daughter gave it up and would never smoke it again.
As for the responsibility aspect, isn't it far worse to be drunk and irresponsible (as well as acting stupidly and at times dangerously) under the LEGAL influence of alchohol, than to be nicely chilled, calm and relatively 'normal' after the ILLEGAL smoking of weed?
What's more, how many times would you find a weed smoker picking a fight and being aggressive? A too common occurence after alchohol consumption!
Ignore the idiot! He sounds like a moron anyway! If all parents were like you, in the way that you rear your child, then the world would be a much better place! Well done! | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:12:26 PM | I say thanks because I appreciate all different opinions, whether I agree with them or not.
It's not that partaking is so important to me that I'm willing to risk everything just to get high. That's not it at all. For me, it's the fact that my own God given, natural, human rights are being infringed upon by complete strangers who I don't even like most of the time :)
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:15:18 PM | Oh was he referring to me? Hmmm.. my apologies. I thought I could tie the two together. I feel there is a complete relevance because society says one is okay and legal but really as harmful as anything else and the other is deemed bad and doing so your a bad mother.
Its pointing out the hypocrisy of society.
Perhaps this is where the laws are unjust. Laws are meant to keep the criminals in check. I'm sorry I cannot see the relation between smoking mj and criminal activity.
I'll try myself to get back on point to the thread. Is it criminal to smoke pot? U.S administration thinks so. In fact if the right authorities found out this women can be arrested and child taken away. Really.. for exactly what, smoking a herbal substance. I really thank god (no not god, my parents) for conceiving me in a country where it is quite lax regarding mj laws even though our conservative government tries to push through tougher laws.
The real problem is the law not serving society but serving the special interest groups.
I ask all of you. Would you take her child away from her? Why and why not?
Many of you used that as an excuse that thats why she shouldn't, because its at risk of her child being taken away. Well the better question is why do you agree with the law then that can have her child taken away? | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:15:30 PM | Not really alot of difference between weed and booze, except, it's illegal...period...
If you are sitting around having a couple of beers no big deal, as long as you aren't pasted and then start driving your kid around..
If you are sitting around and get busted for smoking weed and you have custody of your child , you have a BIG problem..
Do what you want, but if it were me, no way would I risk all the problems of this including potentially losing custody of your child...
Thats what I don't understand... Just think about what you are doing... For a period of time until they are old enough to do for themselves, you are repsonsible and it's about them and not you.. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:20:53 PM |
It's not that partaking is so important to me that I'm willing to risk everything just to get high. That's not it at all.
But Dustie dear, that IS it! There is a greater than zero chance that you can get arrested, lose your job, lose your ability to have a criminal justice career, and/or lose your daughter by continuing to get high. So, as the old saying goes, "actions speak louder than words" and by your actions, you're demonstrating that partaking IS so important to you that you're willing to risk all the above.
For the record, I agree with you that it should be decriminalized, and applaud your activism. But partaking regularly as a single mother, I must personally class as irresponsible. I sure hope you continue to have that good relationship with the child's father, because using your published profile and your published admissions in this thread, I think he'd find it VERY easy to go to court and take your daughter away from you, should your relationship ever become not so friendly and cordial at some point in the future. Good luck, to both you and the innocent child who could be profoundly affected by your actions, choices and priorities. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:49:09 PM |
Okay, I come from a family where neither of my parents drink or do drugs. I have 4 sisters and a brother and none of them have every done any type of illegal substance... My daughter is NOT going to grow up to be a drug dealer because she has an amazing family (including myself) who won't accept that and will influence/help her become more... anyway, she's already decided to do the astronaut thing.
So you think a little kid deciding now to be an astronaut won't change her mind and decide to toke later in life. You say you won't accept that from her but yet you accept that behavior from yourself. We need to lead by example.
That's not it at all. For me, it's the fact that my own God given, natural, human rights are being infringed upon by complete strangers who I don't even like most of the time
Are you listening to yourself? It's the law, we all have to follow the laws weather we agree with them or not. I want to drive at 100 miles per hour and not wear a seat belt. Who are they to tell me I can't. But if I do it, I get a ticket and have to pay a fine. And your studying criminal justice? Are you toking before your classes? As I said before, if your not happy with you government then move to another country. I for one am glad that pot is not legal and support my government even with the laws I would rather not have. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:55:37 PM | Dustie, obviously your beliefs contradict the laws of where you live.....these are not universal laws that apply to humanity as a whole. Places such as Amsterdam have no laws against smoking pot, so therefore it is not a crime. Where I live smoking marijuana is pretty much the norm, and isn't pursued by authorities as being a crime unless someone is manufacturing marijuana and profiting through the proceeds of the crime. Contrary to popular belief there are many successful people who smoke pot, and it isn't a substance reserved only for those who live in trailor parks. Measuring a person's financial success is not determined by whether a person smokes pot or not...
My daughter smoked pot for almost a year when she was 15....I smoked pot with her as well when she was this age.....many people were quick to judge, but I could care a less, because God gave me this wisdom to smoke pot with her in order that smoking pot could not be a rebellious avenue that she would pursue as most other teens do when thier parents place these types of restrictions upon them. And because there was nothing to rebel against and no parental authority demanding that she not smoke pot...her experimentation with drugs was brought to an end when she was able to decide for herself whether she wanted to be a stoner or not. Now she is 21 and doesn't touch any type of drugs and uses alchohol in moderation...which is rarely.
I know that because I never gave her an avenue of rebellion by allowing her to smoke pot, when she was going into the rebellious teen years...that drugs would not be able to gain control over her through parental rebellion....
I encourage all parents to smoke pot with thier children when they are doing it anyways during thier teen years of rebellion.......when there is nothing to rebel against, then rebellion is disarmed of its purposes, and when rebellion is disarmed in teens, parents can be spared a world of grief.. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:56:33 PM |
post, I'm with you 100%. Whether its healthy or not, or any of the other side issues which have been raised here, are irrelevant and none of our business.
The only disagreement I have with what you said is I side with the former, not the latter. For one and ONLY one reason - the welfare of her child. Were she doing this on her own, not as a single parent caring for a 6 year old child; then I'd side with the latter also. I only side with the former because the illegality could result in arrest, imprisonment, loss of her job, or loss of her child. IMHO, she's not considering the welfare of the child, and putting that child first - by smoking "more than 3 times a week" when she is the sole care-giver for that child 6 days a week.
Thanks, Dallas ~ you saved me a diatribe and a few carpel-tunnel-free moments.
~OP~ It's illegal. Nuff said.
JMO  | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:59:44 PM | Another statement/question, most people I know that smoke pot also drink alcohol at the same time, I have been to more than a few fires where alcohol a drug paraphernalia where found at the scene and funny thing it was the cigarettes started the fire but were not the cause of the fire. JMO, you are irresponsible. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:01:35 PM | That's terrible and very true. For whatever reasons, they have a hard time getting kids out of abusive homes and our foster care system is PATHETIC and DANGEROUS!!
...but they have no problem taking a child out of a loving, SAFE home because of irrational reasons and by doing so, THEY subject that child to numerous psychological traumas, at the very least.
I know somebody's going to say I'm simply placing the blame elsewhere, but whatever...
And change doesn't happen when people don't speak up or act out... It'll be legal one day and you can thank me, in part. ;)
:) | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:21:59 PM |
And change doesn't happen when people don't speak up or act out... It'll be legal one day and you can thank me, in part. ;)
Yes, you're right. Change in the form of legalizing pot can happen if enough people speak up. In the meantime, you can lose your daughter forever by "acting out" (your euphemism for getting stoned?) on a regular basis. Both are changes, you'll be able to pat yourself on the back for your part in both. As I say, good luck to you, but especially to the innocent child who's welfare you're obviously willing to put at risk for your "right" to be a stoner. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:28:20 PM | | I think everyone knows that *dustie* is not only smoking weed around her daughter, she is keeping other weedheads in close proximity of her daughter as well. Drug dealers, their associates, other users. All of these people of questionable ethics (including *dustie*) are around this child. Give us a break. You are unfit because you endanger your child, with some grandiose ideology about your civil rights and government overstepping boundaries. Your rights are being infringed upon? What about your daughter's rights? To grow up in a decent home free of drugs? To have an active parent not under the influence of drugs? To decide about drugs later in life not now at such a young age? Why not allow someone else raise your daughter? Someone who is adult enough, and willing to actually sacrifice for the child's wellbeing. And if you think there is nothing wrong with your drug use, why not do it your own home in front of your child? If you think its harmless, why not do it in front of her? Be the great Mom you claim to be. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:45:34 PM | Great points Ebony Jo.
Yes, you are a bad mother. A bad mother doesn't break the law. She doesn't get high (I haven't bothered to read all the posts to see if you do this when you have custody of your daughter, but my bet is you do) and lose control of herself and endanger herself and others. You have to get the pot some where, so unless you're growing your own (a felony) you're having to buy it from a drug dealer, thereby exposing yourself and your daughter to dangers you have no clue about. Your mind has been altered by the drugs and like any junkie you can justify and "explain" what you do, why you do what you do.
If I knew who you were, I'd report you to CPS and have your daughter removed from you. If your ex had any sense, he would do the same. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:48:43 PM | OP - its your God given right to be able to get high? What about people who feel its their God given right to practice a religion that sacrifices animals? There's a LOT of 'God given rights' that our society takes away from us to keep us civil, and whether this one is right or wrong, this society has taken away pot-smoking.
A see quite a few problems with your need to smoke :
o Its illegal, and you have to deal with people doing illegal things, who generally aren't the crowd you would want around a child.
o You daughter WILL find out if she doesn't know already. How could you possibly tell her drugs are wrong if YOU are doing them? She will think pot is perfectly OK. Then whats wrong with a little crack - after all, Mom says occasional drugs are OK. And why not try heroin ?
o Say you are high when she goes into convulsions, or has an accident. How great a driver will you be getting to a hospital or calling for help?
o You better HOPE your ex doesn't know, or doesn't get pissed off at you, because he could VERY EASILY take your daughter away. EVERY judge in the country will remove her from your custody because you engage in illegal activities that endanger her life!
I think its time to grow up!! You had your chance to party when you were sans child. Now its time to be an adult. It was your choice to become a mother, now act like one. | |
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| I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana.
Posted: 6/18/2008 1:54:43 PM | | ~OP~ Ebony has 10 years on you, I have 20, and Dallas has nearly 30. Assumptions? I think not. The School of Reality is much more like it. I had a pot-smoking mom. It was the 70's and seemingly "acceptable." I will NEVER forget how it felt and how others perceived my mother. Not good. All these years later, it's still a spot of contention for me and there isn't much I don't remember about those days and her lifestyle. That comment comes from your daughter's future views on how "good" of a mother you were or were not. In addition, even if pot were legalized, it wouldn't be legal without a prescription. Get one and go wild, otherwise ~ sober up and do what you profess to already be doing: being a good mother and role model. JMO | |
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