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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:49:39 PM | | Are you sure they're being serious? If I said something like that, I would be joking, and expect a smart a*s answer back. Something like "Right after I get my _____." (Tie it in with whatever they do for a living; or a hobby of theirs) | |
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/27/2008 4:07:31 AM | ^^^^true that's what I think, but I would venture she's darn tired of hearing it....my reaction would be "oh how original, I've never heard that before". lol
I never thought a painter or mechanic would go through the same thing
True enough, and I would never think to ask someone I had only been on a few dates with to do painting or mechanics! Kinda rude. | |
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:48:36 AM |
Is there something better to say when the question comes up? How do Doctors or Lawyers handle this? Am I being overly sensitive?
In a profile review I told one woman (lawyer or other legal professional) to write on her profile that if any potential dates were looking for legal advice, that she charges $250/hr, and if they had a problem with it, to look in the yellow pages for a cheaper rate 
Basically, be upfront that you don't give freebies, and for them not to be disappointed when they realize you're not joking about it.
So, what is your rate  | |
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:23:51 AM | Theres no difference in how they treat you, as a massage therapist, as how anyone who has a trade would be treated by someone else.
A mechanic, a doctor, a lawyer, a dentist, a contractor, a car sales person, and accountant, or even a friend with a pickup. (I have a bumper sticker "YES this is my pickup, NO I won't help you move..."
Just because you chose that perfession does not mean you need to be taken advantage of. I do agree, if they ask you for one, I would tell them to schedule an appointment with whoever does your scheduling, either yourself, or a scheduler. And No, it's NOT wrong to expect them to pay. If there is going to be any FREE massages, it should be YOUR choice, not that of someone else.
What ever you do..... DON'T lie!!!!! A good hearted individual might make a joke, and then leave it at that, which gives you an opening to make the offer. If you do, great. If not, great!
Don't sell yourself short!
CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas | |
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:01:29 PM |
Theres no difference in how they treat you, as a massage therapist, as how anyone who has a trade would be treated by someone else.
A mechanic, a doctor, a lawyer, a dentist, a contractor, a car sales person, and accountant, or even a friend with a pickup. (I have a bumper sticker "YES this is my pickup, NO I won't help you move..."
Truth!
I am a teacher people esp family would love to drop off their kids on my days off. | |
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:01:27 AM | I wish to thank smilee for recommending switching to trager work to save the wear and tear on my body. I am already a Reiki practitioner but was looking for some other form of hands-on work that would be gentler on my body. I will check it out, and thanks for the tip!
As for the guys, it's really not that big of an issue for me, and helps me weed out the losers. I certainly hope, however, that this forum helps others to take our trade seriously and not confuse it with those "other" types of non-therapeutic massages that have the "happy endings." lol | |
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:35:05 AM | I realize you wrote 'Guys', but I'm going to chime in anyway, because I have experienced a similar situation many times, although I am not a massage therapist. I am an RN. And, 99% of the time, when I tell a guy I'm a nurse, his eyes 'light up', I get an "Ahhh, a nurse" comment..followed by a "that's a great profession" and then, inevitably the 'ol "So, you gonna get out your little nurses outfit for me" OR (and this happens A LOT too) "When do I get some TLC"? "How 'bout a massage"? - It comes with the territory of being in a 'service oriented' profession. (in my case, a helping 'public' service)
Honestly, I think you are being a tad bit hypercritical or overly sensitive (call it whatever works for you). You have to assess each guy independently and determine if he's joking and trying to break the ice, if he's just found an easy topic in which to flirt about...OR if he's a complete jerk and 'only wants you to work on your date for free' and/or 'take advantage of you'.
If a guy wants a 'free massage' on a first date, then chances are, he wants MORE as well.
I would find it hard to believe a guy wanting a free professional massage, on a first date, and then ending it there. No...he's going to act and aim for more. Could you imagine him saying "Thanks for the massage, why don't we cuddle and watch a movie now"?
IMHO, if you are offended by the question....you could simply say, in a very coy, batting your eyelashes, flirtatious way..."Well, since it IS my WORK, I only give out free massages to say, a boyfriend, or my dad". That should shut him up quickly. And if it doesn't, then you KNOW he's not worth your time, a massage, or a second date. AND you know he's out for only something physical.
If you are tired of revealing what it is you do for a living..then just reply by saying "I work in the medical field". It's not necessarily a lie. People get therapeutic massages for injuries and other types of therapies as well (i.e. I received shiatsu therapy when I was sick a few years ago, which was a 'perk' at my physician's office.....) Or you could say "I'm a therapist". Or even "I'm a MEDICAL therapeutic massage therapist". (you get my drift, emphasize not just massage, but medical/therapeutic, you choose the wording)
Don't sweat it, really. You are what you are. Being in a service oriented profession, you will always come across people who will try to take advantage of you. (plumbers, electricians, roofers, doctors, lawyers, nurses, cops, etc...) WE all have to deal with those who want a free hand out, and may want to 'use' us.
Oh, and just an FYI. If you want to avoid the issue, take out 'Licensed massage therapist' from your profile and write something ambiguous, like "Therapist", or "I help people" (I chose that one for myself). If you are encountering this situation from men you meet off POF, then already they know what you are, and it's going to be an icebreaker AUTOMATICALLY. By putting it up there for all to see, you're sort of inviting the inevitable question you hate.
Just my .02
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:00:00 AM | Have the discussion about careers before meeting them (get it out of the way before hand) and make certain it is understood that this is what you you do for a living. I mean you wouldn't ask a guy to come over to your house and make you a burger with fries super sixed, right?!...lol
I dated a message therapist once and i never asked her for one message (never got one either...lol) Though, I never offered to balance her month end receivables either:P | |
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:43:56 PM |
Peewee weewee jokes aside, I am definitely fascinated if you're suggesting there's a muscle in the back that can make a guy's penis go crooked. I might be a degree or two to the left and wouldn't mind getting that thing to point straight! Haha!
oh hunny! you want that thing tilted up! lol A lil overreaction never hurt anyone lol. I was referring to the guys that ask that question with a lil somethin' more in the eye lol, and obviously ppl who arent as well socially adjusted as you seem to be lol. Basically at the heart of this woman's problem with the question is the endless barrage, and how all these guys say this with the impression that they are completely original and clever when asking this. It would piss me off either way the question is asked, because it would just show a complete lack of originality and intelligence on their part....as for that muscle you should know for your benefit thats located in tha front....lol
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:53:25 PM | Hi, I think its rude to even ask such a question, its obvious that there is 'other' intensions here, and if you offended them by your responce, they were not worth your time anyway...  | |
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| Guys, how would you recommend I answer this question?
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:54:35 PM | Isabon,
i go thru the same thing being a Reiki practitoner so i do not disclose my profession
unless i really need the money which i usually end up receiving anyway. My suggestionis don't tell them what ur profession is and when it is safe to tell them and your sure you will get the money , then double bill them.  | |
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