| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:44:41 PM | Well it would work on me, because I dont like anyone fawning over me...It makes me feel suspiscious...
I also dont want to be the women 10 guys are fawning over anyways. Imagine the pressure of being on that pedastal...no thanks.
Normal conversation is always nice. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:46:50 PM | if i have 10 or 100 men telling me how beautiful i am, how amazing i am and treating me like gold yet they don't REALLY know me.....i am to assume all these words and actions are rehearsed and have been said only to "get somewhere" with me.....a hidden agenda if you will. in walks the 11th man who sees me and doesn't fall into the same old song and dance.....i am then brought to the lovely idea that MAYBE he views me as an equal human being and the possibility of a gratifying conversation is possible.....THEN he can tell me how beautiful he thinks i am with some heartfelt feelings behind the words  | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:56:51 PM | I don't think your picking up what she's putting down here. I think what she's trying to say is no matter how many men oogle over her if 1 man treats her normally, without treating her like a trophy, Just like a friend with no expectations. That guy will probably end up as a friend. And if something becomes of it and it goes to another level. At least then you would be involved with someone you like. I think that better than jumping into murky waters, and then, BAM! Your being stalked by a psychotic woman. O.K. getting off topic here, but I think you get my gist.
Oh and please vote for me at
http://www.wfn.tv/adopt/vote.php?case=s6k2138a&page=1
Trying to win a new boat | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:43:08 PM | Perhaps the point is: if a woman has ten men hovering, why does she care about the 11th?
This insinuates that she's interested in meeting someone, and wants her azz kissed. Neither may be true. Perhaps she's just there to enjoy the place and listen to music, unwind, or people watch? Now those 10 men become annoying. The 11th one isn't.
It's notions that a woman (or a man) can always do better that scuttles a lot of potential relationships. Seriously, if none of the ten suitors are doing it for you, male or female, then there's something wrong with the person at the bar.
If the 10 suitors are doing "what" for you? Trying to score? Sometimes we're not only not looking for better - we're just not looking. It's odd to me that men simply cannot grasp this...we're not always trying to find someone to get involved with every second of the day. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:55:39 PM | The theory is true but like most things, one can't explain all women, men, or any other group with a simple equation.
But I've been 11th man-like and seen this play out. I was in a crowd with a bunch of people I know and I can hear these two women behind me cackling and making noises. I intentionally kept my back to them. They got closer and louder. Then they started dancing with each other. I leaned over to my friend and informed him that they are trying to get my attention but I'm not going to give it to them.
It’s a pet peeve of mine when women think that by just showing up, I’m supposed to be in awe of them. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:01:41 PM |
I was in a crowd with a bunch of people I know and I can hear these two women behind me cackling and making noises. I intentionally kept my back to them. They got closer and louder. Then they started dancing with each other. I leaned over to my friend and informed him that they are trying to get my attention but I'm not going to give it to them.
alternative theory:
1. your back was to them, so they couldn't see what you looked like.
2. maybe they were oblivious to your existence, and were just doing their own thing. no awe required.
not trying to detract from your sense of what was going on; just pointing out that your take is not necessarily representative of reality.
"why?", you may ask...because women don't play these silly "11th man" games (yes, i know it's a generalization, but i can only speak from my own experience). even when i was younger, i never did so. i'd just go up to a guy who intrigued me and start a conversation. amazing how well that works, when you relieve the man of the obligation to make first contact. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:06:22 PM |
i'd just go up to a guy who intrigued me and start a conversation.
I cannot recall that I have ever met a woman that did that. All I have ever seen were women that were waiting to get noticed. LOL, yeah, not much character there. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:11:13 PM | But I've been 11th man-like and seen this play out. I was in a crowd with a bunch of people I know and I can hear these two women behind me cackling and making noises. I intentionally kept my back to them. They got closer and louder. Then they started dancing with each other. I leaned over to my friend and informed him that they are trying to get my attention but I'm not going to give it to them.
It’s a pet peeve of mine when women think that by just showing up, I’m supposed to be in awe of them.
^^ Umm...yeah...I gotta get in on this.
What remotely makes you think it had anything to do with you
Men realllllly just dont grasp this concept.
Alot of men will be continuously on the lookout...most women just dont care.
Which is why there's soooo many threads asking why we wear certain clothes, go to certain places, paint our toenails, wear jewellery, buy a car or motorbike, glance at you as you walk past, laugh at a joke, wear high heels, wax, wiggle when we walk or fricken FART. << icky
Its got NOTHING to do with you...we're just women and we do stuff differently!!!
You read our normal everyday behavior...as being mating signals or a tease.
Its just not like that.  | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:25:33 PM | There's a song about this. It's telling this guy how the girl he digs follows the guy she can't have like the guy who likes her follows her around. She doesn't want the guy that she can easily have. She wants the guy she has to work at.
It's a strange concept but almost always true in one situation or another. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:34:00 PM | The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimensionn
"say there is a woman in a room with 10 men, and all 10 men are telling her how beautiful she is, and how amazing she is and they are lighting her cigarette"
so if 10 men are lighting her cigarette, how many cigarette does she have in her mouth??
did she have already a cigarette in her mouth when 10 men were lighting her cigarette,or did she have 10 cigarettes in her mouth,so each man can light one ??
Good gawd what a way to get cancer??
I'm trying to figure this one out??
that is kind like that one
Tongue Twister>>>How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
# SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, and May Complicate Pregnancy.
# SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Smoking by Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, and Low Birth Weight.
Do i need a hair cut  | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:54:43 PM | | maybe it's my age, but i prefer a man who is attentive and treats me well. at least when i first meet him. if things go sour due to any of life's "circumstances", i tend to hang perhaps longer than most, to make sure i am prepared to dump him, but not because i am enamored with the poor treatment. it all boils down to having the wisdom to know the difference. when is enough "enough" and when do you stick by someone during the bad times. if you are treated badly just once too often, it is definitely the straw. and by badly, i mean in a mean spirited or grumpy manner and not necessarily abusive, but moreso self-absorbed or with lack of care or attention towards me. once gone, however, i never regret my decisions. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:01:21 PM | | Good call serenityCW. I want a woman that is attentive and treats me well, but not just at first, it should be just the way that it is. Wisdom is as keen as intellect. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:06:37 PM | It's a pet peeve of yours?
 Clue, sometimes when women are together, "cackling"----that wasn't very nice----giggling and having a good time, we are just being what we are........women.
We giggled and laugh in a room and it, more times, than not..........has not one thing to do with anyone in the room.
Could have been something left over from yesterday or last week.
Or something the dumb guy did at work......like running out of copy paper and making more with the copier.
Or the guy at the gas station, that couldn't figure out how to open the hood, on my truck. 
And sometimes I've laughed with my friends when we notice that there are many feelers/radars, up and running, in the room.
And the, one or two, guys that are pretending not to notice.......but are so obvious about, not noticing".
OK, we are laughing at you.
Body language.
And sometimes we dance with each other or in a group, when we want to dance.
Sometimes it's just not all about men......it's girls just wanting to have some fun.
Oh and to the very tall guy who decided to wear a khaki, 5" above the hairy legs, box pleated skirt.......sugar, we were not laughing with you, we were laughing at you.
I was going to come over, while you were propped up at the bar and see what was under there, but my friends wouldn't let me.
They figured since you were wearing a skirt, you'd probably call the law.
Oh and the sounds you heard from our table when you walked in, were not sounds of awe and want.
They were the sounds of every one's drinks coming either, out their mouths or noses, at the very sight you sporting a skirt.
And we stared because we came to the general consensus that you, had that in mind, when you stepped into that skirt.
ceeceekitty
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:26:26 PM | I think the theory holds a lot of water. But I think the reason for the 11th man being not interested and walking away is because of him being the one who feels that it would be impossible for him to compete with these other 10 men here already, so he shrugs his shoulders and walks away unconcerned because he is scared to commit anyway and doesnt want to put that much of an effort into looking for a woman anyway.
The woman ends up being the one chasing him, in an effort to try and find out why he wasnt interested and wanting to win him over which she rarely does because he aint interested in commitment especially with her as she is so beautiful she is more likely to break his heart anyway. This is why it appears women run after men who seem totally disinterested.
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:45:03 PM | lol.. they want real??? That is just bull shit. Young women want what they can't have. Most women, I'm sure most of you know like guys who are ***holes. It's a young thing. It's when women get older and are sick of being slapped around by that guy is when they pick they nice guys. And realize how stupid they were for going for the guy who just said... What's up, and turned his back. It's pompus, and really sad how the world works these days. Or all this time.. whatever if may be. I very rarely buy girls drinks at the bar unless I truly feel she is not just using for drinks, or has a real attraction.... and.. if I just feel like doing it...
To comment on what you said Forums, you did do what you wanted, or what you thought would work in getting her attention. You treated her as a human being, yet.. it's funny.. Men, as you know are visual. Much more than women. So, that's what they do.
I agree with how you acted in the situation, because I prob would have done the same. I don't follow packs, or act like most men. Difference is, she prob would have never come and sat with me and started conversation. lol.. The 11th man theory is true just on the premises that dating, first contact, all that is just a game. That needs to be played smoothly. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:45:28 PM | Women are subject to biological drives, just as men are. Attraction is not a choice. We don't certainly aren't always attracted to those who are best for us, or nicest to us. A great percentage of women are attracted to guys who are unfaithful and abuse them. But they still find them attractive. Why?
Women are attracted to alpha male behaviors and traits. Alpha males are independent. They aren't impressed by women, because they know they have their pick of lots. They do what they want to do. They don't care what anyone else thinks of them, because it's their own opinion that counts most. They are confident because they have been successful in the past. They can treat others with impunity because, well, they are the leader of the group, and what they say goes. Alpha males don't pay much attention to anyone for long, unless they are already paying attention to him. Even then, he expects it, and doesn't give her the attention she usually gets because unconciously, he knows that whoever cares most, is not in control of the relationship.
These behaviors are not usually demonstrated consciously. They are not observed consciously either. But even women who know enough to avoid being used by the guy, will still admit to finding him strangely attractive in some way.
11th man demonstrates those attributes.
It's not that women don't want nice; it's that she wants an alpha male (who takes advantage of the rest of the world to advance his own life), but who treats HER nice. But alpha males only treat people nice when they want something from them. Once acquired, they treat that person like they treat everyone else; someone to be manipulated to maintain a position of power, and to get further things or favors from them. Which is why women who become mates of alpha males wind up feeling used by him. But she's still attracted to him anyway. Biologically influenced behavior.
Suggested reading; 'The biology of love', by Dr Perper. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:54:14 PM | And Sean Austin is who??
He knows all us women well enough to know we would chase the player?
Some of us are grown up enough to work out No: 11, is the player of the bunch, I personally would go for the man who got to me first, he had the sense to be No: 1.
99% of WOMEN ARE NOT INTO PLAYING GAMES, WE LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD, grrrrrrrrrrrrr
Men dont understand women why do they try | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:18:04 AM |
I agree, if No. 1 chats me up and shows as much interest in me as I show in her, my eyes don't wander.
Heh, I had visions of the Klondike Bar commercial thats been on TV lately...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9vSAepxC9o | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:51:17 AM | It depends entirely on whether the guys buying drinks are also talking and there is good conversation as well as mutual attraction and respect.
If I'm sitting there and 10 men were buying me drinks, yet not saying anything halfway intelligent or contributing their thoughts and ideas and listening to mine, I'm really not interested. You need physical AND mental attraction.
10 men giving me attention like that would creep me out anyway....I'd probably end up leaving lol | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:00:03 AM | | I'm beginning to feel like a broken record when I say this: NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME. Just as not all men are the same. Sure, some women do seem to like the guy who treats them like crap and ignores them, but there ARE those of us who LIKE nice guys who don't make us work for it. Don't let a few bad apples ruin the whole orchard for you. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:47:46 AM |
They don't want real...
Maybe they are smart enough to know that the one who said "hey how ya doin" is the only one in the room who is BEING real. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:57:00 AM |
What remotely makes you think it had anything to do with you
I accept the possibility that it wasn't about me. It could have been a coincidence. But the layout of where I was and the fact that they got within one inch of me...sometimes the simplest explanation is the best one. | |
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| 11th man theory ... what is your opinion??
Posted: 6/20/2008 6:14:46 AM | | Why is the guy who isn't fawning all over her "the player?" Maybe he didn't go to the bar to pick up women, he's there to hang with the guys, like we go to hang with the girls? Is that remotely possible? | |
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