| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:19:45 PM |
where IS the romance??
It was in the bras! I guess someone should have thought about that before they lit them on fire, huh? | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:21:05 PM | | I can only speak about women in the Los Angeles area where I live, but I think women are largely afraid of romance. I know that I'm hesitant to do the kinds of things I did before I got married - bring flowers, write notes (email kind of don't do the same thing), pick them up at home (God forbid these days), open doors, etc. Some times when I'm opening doors I feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong, going overboard. I was married almost 16 years, divorced over 3, and it's been a continual adjustment. Most women I've dated have been so determined to be independent and aloof that it's hard to break through that and do what seems natural to me. At heart I'm a Jimmy Stewart "It's a Wonderful Life" type of guy, so maybe I'm just an oddball for these days. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:43:11 PM | | The last guy I dated always opened doors for me. I could have done it myself but I liked the fact that he did this. I would never have allowed this just a couple of years ago...I was too intent on being independent. I've realized that having a guy open the door for me does not make me less independent. It feels kinda nice. I told him that I liked the fact that he opened doors for me and I always told him thank you. You must reinforce the behavior that you want in a person.....say thank you. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:18:12 PM | I blame the fact that we've all become dating wh*res!
yes I wrote it , and I stand by it!
seriously, all this dating around , not investing time/energy into *one* person to see where (if anywhere) It goes, kinda hard to be romantic when you're dating 2,3,5,10 however many other people!
I miss the days of 2 people getting to know eachother , going out of the way to do simple nice romantic things, and you know......... dating exclusively!
now it's date date date , find someone, dump them for someone "better" and so on , vicious cycle and not at all romantic!
I think people are romantic at heart (I know I am ) I just don't have anyone to be romatnic *with*
*plays violin gently*
I think romance will come back, everyone just remember how damn good it feels! | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:22:42 AM | | It went out of the window and then came women's liberation........it kind of killed the romance, since so many women want to act and be treated so "fairly" its kind of sad, the death of romance | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/20/2008 11:38:48 AM | Yup, the whole equality thing was supposed to be about fairness, not men giving up their privileges in what used to be called "the public sphere" while women retain all of their traditional privileges in the private sphere.
If you gals are capable of being CEO's and Senators and (almost maybe) Presidents, then surely you're capable of approaching a guy, asking him out, and paying for him.
So, when's that gonna start happening?
A month or two ago, ABC's 20/20 did a long thing on prostitution. In one of the segments, the issue of men paying for "the girlfriend experience" came up. If you gals want "the boyfriend experience", open your purse and pay up. We're not cheap, after all -- though your perception that we are, or should be, doesn't say much which is good about how you regard us.
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:03:30 PM |
I can only speak about women in the Los Angeles area where I live, but I think women are largely afraid of romance. I know that I'm hesitant to do the kinds of things I did before I got married - bring flowers, write notes (email kind of don't do the same thing), pick them up at home (God forbid these days), open doors, etc. Some times when I'm opening doors I feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong, going overboard. I was married almost 16 years, divorced over 3, and it's been a continual adjustment. Most women I've dated have been so determined to be independent and aloof that it's hard to break through that and do what seems natural to me.
I have to agree with this. I don't know anything about LA women, but it seems to be the same every where.
The majority of the times I have bought flowers for anyone they look at me as if I expect something in return. Either that or they ask me if I did something wrong. These days I get to know a person really well before I pour on the romance. It seems like a lot of women just don't like it. In all my dating I have only met one woman that really enjoyed romance. | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 33 | |
| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:25:20 PM |
now that kind of attention {romance} can get you arrested and labeled a stalker
OMG.
That's totally true. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:16:37 PM |
now that kind of attention {romance} can get you arrested and labeled a stalker
Only if the guy has bad teeth. | |
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Dia623
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Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 35 | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:31:55 PM | OP ... sadly, with advent of the internet and it's growth, came the opportunity for one person to talk to multiple "possibilities" in one day, and they can meet said prospects quickly, do a once over, feel them out to see if there's a chance they might get laid, and if not (or if they do manage to get lucky), they can move on just as quickly.
No dinner, no candy or flowers, no waste of their evening, no real money spent, and they could potentially meet several people like that in one week.
Personally, I wouldn't want someone to spend a ton of money on me on a first date, but it sure would be sweet for someone to show up with just one of my favorite flowers. One guy did something I will never forget.... he found out what my favorite flower was and showed up with an artificial one. When he presented it, he said, "I couldn't find the real thing and even if I could, it would never in a million years compare to your beauty."
Ok, it seemed cheesy, but I'll never forget it, or him. There have been first dates (with no following date) that I've forgotten pretty quickly.
One guy brought me a tiny little bud vase with some hand picked flowers from his garden. Then he said, "You know, flowers die, and I know where you can get replacements for those." Then he winked. Another I won't forget.
I've had some very romantic first dates with guys, but they are very few and far between. I don't need huge or expensive things to feel romance. Just a little creativity can work wonders. Unfortunately, most men can't be bothered.
Now that said, a woman can be romantic too. It's not always up to the guy.
Sharzi | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/20/2008 7:57:57 PM | | GOOD QUESTION. I ASK MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION OFTEN. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE JUST WANTS TO "SCORE" SEX THESE DAYS. ITS PATHETIC. SEX IS GREAT, BUT MAYBE IF MORE MEN WOULD ROMANCE WOMEN MORE, THEY WOULD GET MUCH LUCKIER. IT APPEARS THAT MANY MEN THESE DAYS HAVE JUST BECOME SO ARROGANT & SPOILED WITH GETTING LUCKY WITH THE WOMEN WHO GIVE IT UP TOO EASILY, THAT THEY JUST DON'T APPRECIATE THE ROMANCE PHASE OF DATING. MOST JUST WANT TO GET LAID. THAT IS WHY ITS BEST TO TAKE YOUR TIME & GET TO KNOW THE PERSON BETTER TO SEE WHAT THEIR TRUE COLORS ARE, AND IF THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN ROMANCE, THAN THEY AREN'T TRULY INTERESTED IN YOU. YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP SHOPPING UNTIL YOU FIND THAT SWEETHEART MAN WHO IS TRULY INTERESTED IN PERSUING YOU & KNOWING ALL FACETS OF WHO YOU ARE & GRAB ONTO HIM, BECAUSE THERE AREN'T MANY SWEETHEARTS AROUND ANYMORE. WE LIVE IN A NEW SOCIETY, BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE. I HAVE HAD PLENTY OF MEN ROMANCE ME, BUT IT IS THEIR ULTERIOR MOTIVES THAT ARE QUESTIONABLE. SOME PEOPLE WANT LOVE & ROMANCE, SOME DO NOT; THIS GOES FOR BOTH MEN & WOMEN. ITS THE DATING GAME & IT GETS OLD EVENTUALLY. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SIMPLY TAKE A BREAK FROM IT & JUST FOCUS ON YOU & BEING THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE & MAKING YOUR LIFE HAPPY & BE PLEASANTLY SURPRISED WHEN THE RIGHT MAN SHOWS INTEREST. THE DATING LIFE CAN BE VERY DISAPPOINTING, BUT IT CAN BE PLEASANT AS WELL. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:50:34 PM | There are still plenty of romantic people out there. We have just taken a back seat to the high flying corvette guys.
Take a few hours and read some of the butt nugget threads that are posted on here about dating requirements. Back ground checks? (how romantic)
Everything a person does is ripped apart and over analyzed.
If you can find a person with just 3 of these things, be happy.
Good looking.
A great paying job.
A nice house.
A spendable income.
Little to no drama.
Romantic.
Loyal, honest.
Hell I'd be happy to find a woman that has 2 of these things going for her..Lmao... | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:09:46 AM |
Where has all the romance gone??
That... is a VERY... good question... !!! ... !!! ... ... !
I just want to fall in love with someone, not be placed under their negativity microscope so they can gauge if my horribleness is going to be more than they can stand. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:19:21 AM | | my dear lady..I disagree with you...lets be really really realistic...when you meet someone..you shake hands..? right? you get a feeling whats the handshake like..(you can tell a lot from it- I hate people who shake with a floppy awkward weak hand shake)..similarly you want to know RIGHT FROM THE START what the lips taste like...you want to know the physical aspect characeteristic right from the start-rather than finding out LATER that the physical aspect is hopeless...and by then it will be more hurting to cancel further association...think about it intellectually...I know am right..... | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:38:12 AM | LOL....
Video killed the radio star...
Feminism killed chilvalry
Men dont know which direction to go. Open the door for one woman, pull out the chair to show you have manners.... and get your head bitten off for being a chauvanist Pig.
Same token, different date... DONT open the door, or pull out the chair... get labeled as a mannerless Pig...
So... You ask where romance went... | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:50:54 AM | | I would love the link, thanks for the post! I know I am so frustrated with dating in this day and age, it was almost less painful being married to an alcoholic! At least, I knew what to expect from that devil in the bottle! | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:45:30 AM | Romance is not gone, not yet. People watch to much TV, usually in a negative context, there are numerous examples.
I would say many are just too lazy, they lack the "DESIRE" or effort, but really how much effort does it take to say "I love you" or act on those words, for some it's too much "work" or they simply don't care.
Some expectations are unreachable to some ,or are they. Just an example, every now and then my father would scoot us off to bed early and prepare a nice romantic setting for my mother when she arrived home from work (Meal, candles, wine etc...) and we would sneak out and watch and giggle, but we took mental notes without even knowing it at the time. It doesn't mean I have applied these traits yet lol.
I will often encourage the younger ladies on here refuse the coffee date and go out on a real date, wine and dine and dancing. I think you can judge a persons self worth by these actions, after all I think romance is an emotion and has to be acted on.
I often wonder how did or do the lost tribes in the world express love and romance without any influences from the outside world!
"Romance to me is an expression of love. I believe it also a feeling of excitement associated with love. Is it not one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person".   | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:01:45 AM | Romance is where its always been....in the movies...romance novels...and the couple down the block who seems to have it all. J/K
Being romantic means something different to everyone........I dont need someone to open doors for me..........but cooking me an occassional dinner,or coming and mowing my lawn, or asking if anything needs to be fixed before I mention it is really a romantic gesture to me.
Take me to a park, and surprise me with a picnic lunch. Pick me up and surprise me by taking me for a sundae. Go shopping with me and as we are walking take my hand in yours. When out with a group of people give me that special smile from across the room that says..........I LOVE YOU...........
Romancing someone doesnt have to cost anything but caring............... | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:11:27 AM | | I also thought romance was dead until a couple of co workers who are dating was having an anniversary and she thought they were doing nothing special when in reality he was going to propose he had the suite the flowers and the ring. I congratulated him as that was really romantic. I'm glad it still exists, "Remember guys it doesn't always have to cost losts of money sometimes it's in the small things you do for someone that touches their heart". | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:53:56 AM | | Look ive never heard of this kind of custom and im an African.You belong to the majority of those who always have to bash Africa inorder to Lift themselves from their own miserly.Poor Africa if you only want toknow the true meaning of miserly visit www Western world. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/21/2008 7:05:59 AM | | Im writng in response to Baldyisbeutiful and please there is no tribe known as zoula but then again i guess you dont care i bet you were talking about the Zulus | |
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