| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:05:30 PM | FishOwl...
She was so rude, and she had it coming that you did what you did. I can't for the life of me understand people like that.
Gloria had the right idea and then things went terribly awry. What we were supposed to be fighting for got all mixed up in some women's idea of what equality was.... and it sure wasn't everyones. I don't want to be a man... don't want to be treated like one. I like my man to wear the pants, but I want to be respect for being a human being and no less deserving than anyone else.
There are definitely different types of people. I know some women who are demanding, selfish, ****y, and manipulative. A lot of really great guys tend to go for that type and women like me are shaking our heads and wondering why.
By the same token, I know men who are con men, players, manipulative, angry and controlling. I cannot for the life of me understand why any woman would be interested in someone like that.
But, sometimes those types of people are very good at hiding those traits until they've got you hooked. Then, the writing is on the wall.
If you want someone romanceable, look for the one who truly deserves it. And if you want to be romanced, be the kind of person your partner can't imagine being without.
Effort has to come from both sides, or it simply won't work.
Sharzi | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:17:26 PM | Unfortunately, the loss of romance or its gradual downfall cannot be blamed on men or women alone. I have read many insightful posts in this thread, and it is hard to disagree with any of them. Feminism, women's liberation movement, today's fast paced world, different view of sex, men's diminished desire to show romance, women's unapproachableness or independence, different moral values may all very well be valid reasons to account for the lack of romance and many broken hearts.
Many girls I meet these days tell me that they do not believe in love, have trust issues and want to avoid falling for someone because they don't want to get their hearts broken... again.
Many guys complain that when they do something romantic for a girl, they are often ridiculed or look like fools, and the girl that they are so in love with instead ends up with some ill-mannered brute who does not give her the respect she deserves.
We have a dilemma, and the solution could not be summarized better than by FishOwl's quote below:
If you want to be romanced, be romanceable.
Ladies: Open up to the guys and allow them to romance you. If you do, you will certainly get your hearts broken a number of times... but if you don't, you will also certainly miss out on a most amazing guy.
Guys: Many girls will make you feel stupid for being romantic, but I say do it anyway. Every now and then, you will meet someone who will truly appreciate your efforts and make all your previous fiaskos seem utterly insignificant.
What could be more wonderful than waking up beside your loved one in the morning and seeing their lips spread in the widest, most affectionate smile you have ever seen simply because their heart is overcome with joy from being with you? What could compare to the tingling sensation in your heart when you feel stressed and frustrated, and your loved one whispers in your ear nothing more than a simple "I love you" and makes all your troubles seem like silly trifles?
It is up to everyone to keep the romance from "extinction". | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:54:57 PM | But, some men are only after sex.
Why should it always be just on your terms ?
Think about it.
Man has wife run off with someone else, then she screws him over with a divorce and leaves him with nothing.
Its a no brainer, once bit, twice very very very very shy !
Sex ? yes. Another potential divorce, no thank you......................... | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:29:15 PM |
No dinner, no candy or flowers, no waste of their evening, no real money spent, and they could potentially meet several people like that in one week.
What do you do for him?
Now that said, a woman can be romantic too. It's not always up to the guy.
Read above. It should be equal but it always falls on the guy.
Whats the most romantic thing a woman has done for a man? Most would say sex. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:12:02 PM | john.duke12 wrote:
******Whats the most romantic thing a woman has done for a man? Most would say sex. ******
Then that woman is not a romantic and has no idea what romance really is.
I think sometimes a romantic woman scares a man, but if a man is open to it and he's romantic too... wow!
I'm a romantic by nature. I make the extra effort. But, I'm not just like that with a special man in my life. I make an effort with everyone in my life. It's all about making the people around me happy... and that makes me very happy.
I think most people have to sort of make a mental list of what they are really looking for. If you're looking for someone who will adore you enough to put out the effort, you have to choose the right kind of person. If you're looking for the perfect body, a face that models are made of, or someone who's the bad boy or bad girl... I doubt you're going to find that sort of devotion.
Sharzi | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:34:31 PM |
I think sometimes a romantic woman scares a man, but if a man is open to it and he's romantic too... wow!
I agree but its because men are brought up to believe romance shouldn't be 50/50. We are scared to receive but a romantic woman like that would probably have the ability to help him relax and get into the wooed role. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:48:18 AM | I am also romantic and can be full of surprises.
I wrote a love note and put it in his sandwich.....he called to find out what the entire message said, since he had eaten a portion of it.
Once on our anniversary, he had "duty" and could not swap with someone else, so he was stuck there.
I put on sexy undies and a trench coat...packed a picnic supper and went to visit.
All 4 of the kids went to summer camp so I thought I'd surprise him at the door when he got home.........wrapped myself in saran wrap, only, and answered the door.
I did not know he'd ordered a pizza, until I opened the door and there was the pizza guy...... the guy looked like a cod fish with pimples.
Several times I sent flowers and a few "singing telegrams".
Surprise anniversary......a playboy bunny.
Surprise birthday.........a belly dancer.........and no I did not know she would be old.  And I did not do it on purpose either.
A special BBQ...wine...steak.
Left the grill for a few minutes and the hound dog from down the street, ran up, grabbed it and ran away...........with me chasing him.
I booked a honeymoon suite and hired a guy to pose as a police man and he was to wait by hubs car, arrest him, and bring him to the suite.
I did not know he would resist arrest and not my fault...I guess it was........that he got a bloody nose.
His favorite dessert was apple pie.
On his birthday I baked one.
I thought it was cool enough to put candles on it..........put them on it, lit them and then took the dessert plates to the table.
Just as I came through the door, the candles fell over and started burning the pie.
It had big ole burnt spots in it.
The very worse was when he had a date to return from Asia.
I had a limo at the airport and a suite near by, on that date...............he didn't show up.
He'd decided, he would extend his time there instead of going to another assignment.
I did not know..........
I've done many things, as far as romance, but some folks can't be pleased.
Coffee in bed, breakfast in bed.
Draw him a bubble bath then get in with him.
Reaching out and giving without expecting anything in return.
Some people say they are romantic but people can say anything.......the proof would be in the pudding. 
ceeceekitty
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:03:38 AM | | When you try to be nice to women, as mentioned by other participants in this post, you often get labeled as weak or needy. When you give a woman a single long stemmed rose and a card as a thoughtful gesture and she asks you who you slept with or what you want, that pretty much kills the romance. Then you start wondering why you are bothering. What will you get out of it? Sex, maybe, if you are lucky, but that wasn't the reason you did it. Women killed romance. Not women libbers or feminists. Just women. Period. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:59:45 AM | | Romance can be like a Broken Window,Shattered into a million peices. Never to be put back together, Just Replaced. Some of the male fish have forgoten how to court and swoon a woman into a Romantic situation. Things take time,patience wins the girl.However,when emails dont get answered,People lie on their profile, and the person has so many "MUST NOTS", it makes you wonder if this person has been hurt,or is a controling player on this free site. I would hate ever to think that Women are more bother than their worth. Eventually, everyones True self appears,and the mask comes off. On both sides of the fence....Being Romantic is easy and satisfying.....with the right person. Sometimes you dont get back what you put in.So what ,move on.. GFM.... | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:05:29 AM | I'm sorry that.....One woman, treated you that way.
A romantic gesture given to the wrong woman......
Over 24 years and when I cleared all the things that he'd given to me...cards, drink coasters, corks from all the New Years and anniversaries, we'd had.....I found the single roses and other flowers he'd given to me.
Pressed, then placed in different cards he'd made and purchased........every love letter he'd sent.
Not one time did it ever cross my mind that he'd done something bad, had felt guilt and given me those things.
Now I have to think that's why he did them...to ease his conscience and to make himself feel better.
The level of the gifts: jewels, exotic trips/romantic get aways, a maid to free me up....a automobile.......and on and on......equaled the level of his crimes.
I was his "dog" and those were the "good dogie, yum, yums"........
Once I learned the gut wrenching, truth, it spoiled and tainted them for me.
Ruined every great feeling I'd had for him........
I, however, separated him from the the rest of men.
He was "doer" and that doesn't make all men, that come after him, "doers".
As far as all the "must nots".........those are important.
Must not be married.
Must not be:
seeking an intimate encounter, among other things.
Not because I want to be controlling....and yes I've been hurt.
How is a person going to get what the seek if, they don't say, what they seek?
I read so many guys profiles that say; "no head games", "players"..."I don't have any money so if that's what you're after" and "I'm honest"....."looking for long term" and an immediate click with a person.
Especially when most opinions are formed within the first few minutes or less, after meeting someone.
The right person could have started off the day on the wrong foot.....the day was off kilter.........either one or both of the two could have got up on the wrong side of the bed.....
No immediate click..........and move on.
Why not just say what you want.......name it and you're more apt to get it...just my opinion.
Like food...if I have a taste, yen, for a certain food, if I can't name it.....how can my taste be satisfied?
Love is not always found, in the place, where a person happens to be looking.
The right person is in the wrong place and visa versa.
ceeceekitty
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 7/26/2008 4:57:34 PM | | When speaking of romance you may also want to include chivalry. Which I have rarely seen. I'm a people watcher when I'm out. Especially w/ my female friends. I notice how certain men don't seem to appreciate their partners. Pumping gas for their lady, simple opening and closing doors, pulling out a chair, letting her sit down first, walking on the street side of the sidewalk etc. I was raised old school w/ a bit of new school added into it. When it comes to romance. It's all about listening to her and truly hearing what she's saying. I'm 37 and never been married. I've done all the stuff most men do but I'm at a point in my life where I'm tired of the "ulterior motives" as well. Yes it's on both sides of the coin. ANYONE can have sex. That's not hard to get. Finding someone you connect on a physical and emotional level is hard. The last time I was in love (years ago) I was friends w/ her first and I never even thought about dating her. All of a sudden one day it just hit me and I knew that I loved her. Romance is nothing more than treating a woman like a woman and respecting her. Paying attention to her and reading body language. If you really want to know a man's true intentions. Make him wait. Don't give it up that easy. A little teasing isn't a bad thing. One thing ladies have to remember though. It can't be romance all the time. There's a lot more to a relationship than sex. Friendship should come first. I want to be w/ someone I can talk to and want to come home to and sit and talk. Not just come home to have sex. Having someone that you just can't get enough of both mentally/physically is what I want. Not to mention someone I truly get along with on all levels. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:29:33 PM | <--- waiting patiently for a gal that wants him to be romantic.
Honestly, I'm all for the wooing... the patience... the slow and steady building...
Just show sustained interest in me, don't freak out after you've met me, and give me some reason to hope things could go somewhere.
:) | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:40:01 PM |
There is a balance that can make each gender happy. The key is, stop thinking me, me, me, and start being a little more selfless. In doing so, we all find that spreading that kind of karma around will only come back to us tenfold.
Indeed there is a balance that is needed. For some, it is be more selfless, and for others more SELFISH.
Cause get too far down the selfless tree and you get deemed a "doormat"...
But there is a balance that needs to be found... | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 8/15/2008 9:38:23 AM | To Caligirl, I respect what you are saying about the dating scene, and in my opinion,
being part of "Women's Liberation," is a ruination of allowing men to be romantic
with women, as women keep fighting for independence. I agree independence is
fabulous in work, not to be needy in relationships, we should allow love and
romance to evolve in our lives. The hardest job in the world is being a Real Woman.
Both men and women should allow balance and romance in their lives, to bring
romance back. Sometimes the good-old-fashioned days were fabulous!  | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 8/15/2008 4:11:38 PM |
Pumping gas for their lady, simple opening and closing doors, pulling out a chair, letting her sit down first, walking on the street side of the sidewalk etc.
This may be nice on dates but on a day to day basis its just **** whipped behavior. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 8/15/2008 7:17:10 PM | | Romance isn't dead, nor is chivalry, people just forget things like that. It sucks, but, you'd be surprised how many girls/women I've met who don't like romance, it's mostly in my opinion a reflexive defense mechanism so that if the guy runs off after a few dates they don't fall for him... imho, in any event.. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 8/28/2008 8:46:53 PM | Wow this thread is OOOOOLD but I guess I will try to "revive" it before I try a new one.
What happened to romance? I think people are so protective of themselves that it stops them from any enjoyment. | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 8/28/2008 8:53:17 PM | women control the morality of the land...
When the women started sleeping around on first dates....living with one guy one month ....then another the next month...
thats when it all started..
Men just dont have to try very hard anymore....women are too easy..
BUT: when he wants to settle down....he will look for a girl like you..
I dont like the new ways at all!! | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:20:28 PM | Romance disappeared when DSL became available to everyone and getting on the next bandwagon was but a quick click away.
Sad times when people can exchange bodily fluids at the speed of light yet want to "take it slow" to develop a relationship! Am I missing something there? You can jump in the sack with someone but you're hesitant to start working on a relationship? Someone please transport me back to a time when people weren't so technologically advanced. Take me back to 1989!!! | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:31:21 PM | | We live in a technologically-driven world where everything is fast-paced... 'relationships' as it seems have become no different. It's sad really when it looks like all the steps have been removed from introduction to copulation, but then again times change. People want different things (and quickly). I for one think romance is a plus in any potential relationship, and it should work both ways. It's "the little things" that really should count for something, and everything should move at a decent speed. :) | |
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| Where has all the romance gone??
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:36:04 PM | | Now I would love to have a long drawn out romance where a couple shares every aspect of their life with each other ... and things are taken slowly. I love to do little things that say that I care ... picking and giving a favorite flower ... writing a poem ... creating a card ... little phone messages to let someone know that I am thinking about her ... calls just to say that I love her ... and I actually remember the important dates and anniversaries. A perfect date for me would be out in the country, walking hand in hand toward a sunset, laughing, talking, at a leisurely pace with no hint of hurry whatsoever. There are romantic people out here in the world ... though it doesn't seem to be that many anymore. | |
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